Nikki,<P>Again, I am not attacking In fact I agree with what you just said. I was only commenting that we need to do all we can to avoid acting on the anger ourselves. I understand you are venting here, as do I. I really do. Boy soon we will have to break out the boxing gloves and go a couple rounds! <P>Seriously though, some of things I write here often are just as much for me as they are for the people I respond to. I find myself in need of reassurance that how I am acting is the "right" thing to do.<P>make any sense?<P>Mike

"What is the next right thing?" is a very important question at times like these because the ramifications of your decisions are so long-lasting and far-reaching. Not to mention the fact that you need to have peace in your heart when you put your head on your pillow and if you act in anger and malice you won't feel peace.

OK Mike, <P>I understand , but I guess I felt you were trying to tell me to stop the cycle, and I havent even attempted to participate in the cycle. <P>I would love to debate you on a couple issues after reading some of your other posts, but they have to do with faith, and I would never want to squash someones faith. Keep in mind that although marriage should be forever, as God intended, He gave us free will, and the right and responsibility to choose. Not all marriages end because of selfish acts on one persons part.

Mike,<P>Just a quick thought here. A little mental sparing in here is just what the doctor ordered as a bit of an escape valve for all the pressure building up. So I say, vent all you want, and maybe even have a disagreement among friends. But I also want to reassure you that we are get it--you're in here to let out a few of your thoughts, make sure you're not totally off base, and hopefully get a pat on the back that you're doing the right thing. Just be assured that you will also get a swift kick if you need it! <P>In this instance, kuddos to you! You are absolutely being the bigger person here and we are proud of you. There is a BIG difference between standing up for yourself and not being taken advantage of, and going on the offensive and attacking in anger. Do what you must to defend yourself, but don't lower yourself to operating on her current level. And BTW, I read what you wrote that she was expecting you to file and that when you didn't she may have responded like this in anger. Well, I think that is right on. I think you hit that nail right on the head. She is mad that she had to do it, so she thought she would hurt you back. It worked, huh? Well, don't give her the satisfaction. Your plan to speak to the counselor that everyone respects is right on track. Keep on fighting the good fight--okay?<P>{{{{{Mike}}}}}<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

nikkilynn2,<P>Bring it on Just kidding.<P>I take my faith seriously, but I am also a very open person. So often I have debates with friends who are other religions or who don't have God in their lives at all. I often feel that so much is learned from those discussions (by both parties). Some of the best ones come when we talk about Catholicism. I am a practicing Catholic and I have several friends who belong to other Christian religions. While I don't really believe there is one right religion, for some reason they tend to try to "knock" Catholicism. What usually happens is that they somewhere along the line picked up some bad information about my faith (there are many, many Catholics who don't know much about our faith at all - but who will still try to spread their version of it). <P>In fact I really believe that is why there is often so much debate about different religions - people just don't take enough time to really find out what each faith is about.<P>I have a super-thick skin, so anything you say will be taken as a learning experience for both of us.<P>And I am not a "holly-roller" in any sense of the word. I am a fairly typical 30yr guy who likes to get into trouble with his friends sometimes. Who is always up for a good "off color" joke and who likes to have fun. My religion is only a base from which upon my personality is built.<P>Please if you have anything you want to talk about, don't hesitate <P>Mike

FaithfulWife,<P>Thank you for your reply. Having friends here often helps out so much. I really discovered that unless you have gone through or are going through what we all are here, it is often so difficult to relate. Friends and family just don't always know what is going on in my mind and in my heart.<P>But here I find that people can truly relate. Not everyone always agrees (which is good), but at least they all know where you are coming from.<P>I'm off for tonight but will check back tomorrow.<P>Thanks again for your support!<P>God Bless us all.<BR>Mike