And in my heart today there is less joy, less freedom, less love.<P>I'll see y'all Monday, maybe.<P>And if I don't there will be someone new here in my stead.

Cinderella, <P>Please don't go. We need you here. I feel the same as you, and I don't know how to keep in touch, but we can't lose you. <P>This is one of the saddest days ever!<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

It's a really tough time of year. I really drag every hear at this time. Court was 2 years and a week ago. Daughter's BD but I have to share itwith x. The children are gone almost all of thanksgiving weekend. Right now, everything's cruddy. Big time.<P>And I don't feel like keeping a stiff upper lip. <BR>

cinderella,<P>Sorry you are having a hard time today. Here we go.....plan some extra special pampering time "for yourself" that you can't do with the kids at home. <P>Please, really DO be special to yourself while you have the time. They will be back before you know it and the craziness that comes with kids will be making you wish you had this bit of time to yourself again. I still have some days that putting one foot in front of the other is a killer, then it passes when I rearrange my thinking. <P>Take care kiddo,<BR>Ragamuffin

I think this time of the year gets to a lot of us. We remember the way that things used to be in our lives before all of this, we think of the way that we want the things to be in the future, and we know and realize the way that the way things currently are and are disheartened by it. But things will get better for all of us. Someway, somehow, things will get better.<P>Hold tight to your family and your friends for we are always here for you!! Don't ever loose hope or faith!<P>If there is anything I can do, please let me know and I will do my best!!<P>-Java

Boy, I agree with Java! Thanks for saying it so well. This will be my first set of "holidays" alone, and it just feels like I have failed somehow. <P>Cinderella, this is one of those times when it's time for you to experience the meaning of loneliness. This is a feeling you need to walk with and embrace, or as I think of it, go through the pain to the joy on the other side. You can't get around it. But you also don't have to go through it alone. All of us here will surround you with love, and hugs, and thoughts, and prayers while you get through this tough time. <P>AND the added bonus--you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip! Look who's talking here. I'm no good at this myself, but we're all learning, and in this instance, I say let you upper lip flap in the breeze!! I will bring the lotion kleenex, and we'll sit together. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cinderella}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>You'll be in my thoughts and prayers tonight,<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Just wanted to say.....Love You!<P>{{{{{{{{{{Cinderella}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Please don't leave here. Don't let small people chase you away from something that is fundamentaly good. There are people here who need you now, and more coming in the future.<P>illegitimatti non corborundum <P>(sorry for the butchering of the latin)<P>Take care & I'll talk to you soon..<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited November 17, 2000).]

Cinderella,<P>Say it isn't so Fair Maiden. Don't deprive your people of your gifts. For thoust is a Princess and all good places need Princesses.<P>I know things are rough now for us all, especially around the holidays, but now is not a time to leave this place.<P>I sure hope you reconsider.<P>As always,<P>Your Handsome Prince,<BR>Jayhawk<BR>

Boy do I hear all the emotional pain going on in here, this will also be my first set of holidays doing it alone and I really don't relish the thought at all. I don't want to put up any decorations or even think about shopping for gifts, but I'll do it to keep up the front for my daughter. Guess all you can do is to try and hold on to your sanity, take a deep breath and dive right in. Take care all. Jax.

All of you guys who have written in here:<P>This SUCKS big time! Excuse my language, but it's how I feel). It's not enough that our families and our lives have been torn apart, but now the joy of the holidays is ripped to shreds too! <P>Well, I can't take it anymore. Do not let them win!! Take back you life, your love, and your joy. Come on, guys, it is a tough time of year, but we can all get through it together and now is the time to put our friendships to the test. Come in here and cry and vent and spill it all, but don't be miserable and don't be alone. <P>I'm speaking only for myself here, but you are ALL so precious to me that YOU will be the ones I am giving thanks for this Thanksgiving--each and every one of YOU. I truly love you all.<P>Now, follow my lead. Don't you give them one more day! Find some joy, find something to be thankful for, and share it with us. <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Don't know why. Sitting here at my desk doing my job and can't stop crying. Don't know, just don't know.

{{{{{{{{{Cinderella}}}}}}}}}<P>Honey, we've all been there.... If we knew why, it might make it easier... but it would still happen.<P>I know it's after lunch there already, so when you get home tonight (or on your way home).... do something really nice for YOU...<BR>Stop and get ice cream, buy a pair of shoes.... take a walk in the park.... something. It sounds corny, but it does help.<P>Ok..... BLOWW!!!!! now, do you feel a little better?<P>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>B<P>PS ~ I haven't had time to work on the picture thread for a while.... I'll get it to ya, I promise. <P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

{{{{{{{{{{cinderella}}}}}}}}}}<P>Butterfly has the right idea. On your way home tonight, stop and treat yourself. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's not practical & just for you.<P>This time of year can be very hard on people going through a relationship crisis. Rely on your friends and your family. We'll be here to help. I have no idea what I would have done if I hadn't met all of you....<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Get off at 5. Have children to pick up in two different places be 6 and dinner to cook before it gets too late. Stop and take time for myself? Ha. Just doesn't seem possible. Life stinks this week. <P>Too much to do. No money. So tired.<P>Having nightmares about something I think I've lost. And it belongs to someone else. 4 ballet tutu bodices. Can't find them anywhere.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited November 20, 2000).]

OK guys and gals, remember that it does get better!<P>I have no wife<BR>I have on money<BR>Lawyer wants money<BR>Creditors want money<P>I could sit here and say life stinks! But I can't do that - no I won't do that.<P>Think hard! We all have so much to be thankful for - truly thankful. Think of the children and parents who are worried about where their next meal is coming from - the ones who may have not eaten in days/weeks.<P>By being thankful for what I do have, helps to change my feelings from sadness and depression to ones of happiness.<P>I am thankful for my parents<BR>-for my friends<BR>-for my house<BR>-for my dog<BR>-for my health and that of all I care about<BR>-for the "good" memories I have of my wife<BR>-for the food I eat everyday<BR>-and on and on....<P>I read a quote yesterday that said "A lonely heart who helps a lonelier heart, is no longer lonely". And think about it: If you stop right now and go help someone out - maybe a total stranger - someone in more need of help than yourself, don't you feel better?<P>What better time of year to help someone less fortunate than Thanksgiving or Christmas?<P>Somedays all it takes if for me to post a message here and have someone write back that what I said "helped them". That makes me feel so good and it brightens my day.<P>Don't spiral down into despair - I know how easy it is at this time of year. You are in control of your feelings. My mother used to say that if you are bored and depressed, GO DO SOMETHING. Get your body moving. Activate your mind onto something else.<P>Now let me take my cheerleading outfit off before someone in the office sees me in this skirt!! <P>Mike

Amen Brother Mike! BTW, the cheerleader outfit was cute--I never knew you had such cute legs.<P>The holidays are a very, VERY tough time, but the one gift we can all give and receive is free--love for each other. Cinderella, if you can't take time for yourself in the hustle and bustle of taxi time, dinner time, homework time, and bed time, then stop for a moment now and let yourself feel the love of all your friends. Okay?<P>Massive hugs to you today.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cinderella}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

ok - today stinks for me so far. My Monday list of things I'm thankful for:<P>I'm not homeless like the people that I hand out lunches to when the doorbell rings.<P>My Mom and Children are healthy and love me<P>I'm healthy and love me. And I'm not clinically depressed. These are just the deep-down-to-the-bones-soul-wrenching-blues and they'll be over soon. (Maybe I should pray for a hormone shift.)<P>That Shirley hasn't called and said I was right to panic about those tutu bodices.<P>That my car runs.

Cinderella, <P>We all love you. <P>CJ

CJ - I know that and that's why I've been here so often today. Several years ago, I took the liberty of realizing that every now and then you just have the blues and that it was ok to recognize them and acknowledge it, talk about it, and let close friends know. Then, you let them know when you're over those blues. I know the clouds will lift but this is my every fall "I feel so blue I could just die" funk only this time it's seemed worse. However, I anticipate surviving.<P>However, I still fell everyone, [censored] and Harley, got out of hand. And I'm mad about that.<P>Remember, Harley's published precious little that you can't buy at your local bookstore for the same price less shipping.