<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lonelysoul:<BR><B>Tom:<P>Why would my E scare you...just curious. E doesn't mean dancing on the table with a lamp shade on your head. It just means that people who are E's get their energy from the outside world. E's are generally social people, but that doesn't mean that they don't like to be alone too. <P>One of the people I work with is an INTP..we often do workshops together. My partner hates doing workshops...it is not that she can't do them, she just prefers one on one than a large group. I, on the other hand, find one on one exhausting and love doing big workshops. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>E is for Entourage, all those pEoplE! All those pEoplE!!!!! I wouldn't know where to start with all those pEoplE!<P>"I" means dancing on the table with a lamp shade on your head. You're all by yourself, no one else will join you! It's so much fun!<P>tom

Lonely Soul:<P>Thanks for the information about my type. You described me to the tee!! I definitely am an ISTJ. It's really amazing how that test works.<P>My x was one of those awful extroverts Tom keeps complaining about. I've printed this out so I can use it as a guide on my next date. Just kidding. Thought you and Tom might like my little attempt at humor.<P>Jen

I was the one that posed the question about how do you feel about placing the kids first.<P>This all arose out of my x's affair plus my first "serious" dating experience. When I was married, we both went to the kids "stuff." I almost always went unless a business trip I couldn't schedule around the kids stuff came up. As I make my own appointments, 99.9% I can make my schedule fit the kids things.<P>My x worked afternoon shift. This was because that was how we planned things after our secind child was borne. We weren't too crazy about the child care we were getting, so after the second child an opportunity arose were she could work afternoons and be home for the kids in the mornings and I would be home in the afternoons. This was part time for x and she worked everyother weekend. So she had no choice but to miss the kids things. Late in the marriage I noticed that she was worked alot of the times when the kids had things, but she could never get off. I never questioned it, if you can't get off, you can't get off. We had never discussed when she would get a daytime job. In the last couple years she sent in a couple resumes for day jobs but she never followed up on them.<P>After our separation, x came to the kids things when she felt like it. She left in the middle of our d's all-star game to go to the movies. She has also missed games for other reasons unknown to me other than she could have been there.<P>As for my experience, I think the woman I was dating thought I was letting the kids play me. She felt I was too lenient on them. For example, we were to go out on a date while my kids were at there mothers and her kids were out of state for a long weekend with their father. During the day, my d calls and says she wants to come home, that her mother doesnt want her there. I tell this to the woman I was dating and she said she would be disappointed if I wasn't there. There was no way I would tell my child, that no you can't come home because I have a date. I did allow my x and our d to work things out between themselves and she didn't come home. I think she would have been playing me if I had run over to rescue her, but that isn't what I did.<P>Of the dating I've done, I think there were only 2-3 instances when the kids were at home. One was when the woman had baseball tickets for a particular night. I guess I could have said no, but I didn't. The other was when d didn't go to her mothers and I had a dinner date, with someone in from out of town, so I went on that.<P>

Jen:<P>Depending on the extovert...we are not all that awful; honestly. Sometimes E's can bring out the social side of the I and help them enjoy things a little more. What I always tell people to do when I explain Myers Briggs is to cross their arms....then cross your arms the other way. For most people crossing their arms the other way feels weird. When people are made to act different than their prefrence it feels weird to them...causing them stress. In relationships it can cause a lot of miscommunication. But don't right off all the E's. We are not all surrounded by the masses. Some of us are quiet...to a certain degree. We just need outside stimulation.<P>Take care.<BR>susan<BR>

Lonely Soul,<P>My last post was humorously intended, nothing more. Although you bring up a great point, when I think about how i relate to people, large groups do turn me off. I prefer smaller sessions, and one on one. I would expect that lawyers would be introverts, and hs teachers would be extroverts. My XE complained that i liked the house too quiet, and she prefered the bustle of people and kids. My XE complained that when we went to help people with a job, I got the job done, minimal discussion, and then socialized afterwards. She loved discussing the problems and solutions for a long time until the entire group agreed.<P>Yes, your description of an INTP fits me. I appreciated your seriousness, i just try to bring some humor to this mostly sad area of the forums. I like self deprecating humor, because if we can't laugh at ourselves, we can't laugh at other people, it wouldn't be fair.<P>tom