Yes Tom I love you too...<P>

WilliamJ,<P>Hey, I love you too! <P>

Can't you just feel the Love!!!<P>

Why do I feel that I just stepped into a rerun of the Waltons? <P>HEY, Doesn't anyone love the Village Idiot? HUH?<P>Night John Boy, night Grampa, night Heather...<P>Haven't used this sig in a while. Maybe it will help the discusion.<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by c00ker:<BR><B> "churlish"<BR>ADJECTIVE: 1. Lacking in delicacy or refinement: barbarian, barbaric, boorish, coarse, crass, crude, gross, ill-bred, indelicate, phillistine, rough, rude, tasteless, uncivilized, uncouth, uncultivated, uncultured, unpolished, unrefined, vulgar.<P>That's not blunt that's insulting. Flex your internet muscles at someone else.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, I was using it in the third sense of the somewhat different listing below, and only because of the "I'll not ask again" ... AND there was an alternative explanation in the same sentence where I used the offending word: that the decision not to keep offering was "self protective". You could have simply said, yes, I'm protecting myself because I can't take one more rejection--or posited a third option.<P>Main Entry: churl·ish<BR>Pronunciation: 'ch&r-lish<BR>Function: adjective<BR>Date: before 12th century<BR>1 : of, resembling, or characteristic of a churl : VULGAR<BR>2 : marked by a lack of civility or graciousness : SURLY<BR>3 : difficult to work with or deal with : INTRACTABLE <churlish soil><BR>synonym see BOORISH<BR>- churl·ish·ly adverb<BR>- churl·ish·ness noun <P>Let's look at what I did: the moment the house was sold and I was apart from my XW, I said IT'S OVER. I had warned her that if she took the steps she was taking (separation and divorce), there was no turning back; I had unsuccessfully DEMANDED counseling as an alternative (not entirely unsuccessfully, there was the Gottman seminar, and a couple of times she accompanied me to my own psychiatrist); and so I turned my attention to new women.<P>So she trotted off to europe and I thought I had seen the last of her. Wrong. Bang. She's back in town. Now where am I? What good was anger, defeatism, pride, intransigence, resentment, fear, dread? She's back; I still love her; and I'm already involved. I had no idea that if I dynamited the dam and let the reservoir of my love for her empty, there was yet another dam upstream with a larger reservoir; and another; and another. <P>Your XW's behavior has tested you more severely than mine did, I can see that. I don't know what's left in you. I do know that when I put two alternatives to you as to why you quit trying, you could have taken the innocuous one or stated a third; but instead you picked the unflattering one and took offense to it. I don't know what to make of that.<P>P.S. - so it doesn't get lost, or have to be inferred, cOOker, I am sorry that a word I chose (in the time it took my fingers to type it) turned out to be so offensive to you, and apparently to others too. It was a word that accurately described *ME* when *I* stopped trying. If someone has righteous anger after so many trials and cannot go farther, I'm sure that another (much milder) word is called for when describing that person's reason for stopping. <p>[This message has been edited by Sisyphus (edited January 10, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MEDIC238:<BR><B>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I saw that movie shortly after getting my driver's license ... which means it *had* to be 1978 (ouch!). <p>[This message has been edited by Sisyphus (edited January 10, 2001).]

OK Sis,<P>You are correct about the feature length movie being released in 1978 by Universal City Studios, Inc. All rights reserved. BUT, I was quoting from the MCA Home Video, Inc. All rights reserved release onto VHS tape in the year of our Lord 1984. So, um... I win!!!<P>Dude, the 50 cent words are cool, but, they seem to get you in trouble. I have no beef with you, I'd just say chill a little bit. There are many folks here that are dinosaurs to the site. [Like me going on two years]<P>Can't we all just get along? And remember... I have a gun... well, not on me... but, I know where I can get one!!!<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Zippy the Pinhead.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MEDIC238:<BR><B>There are many folks here that are dinosaurs to the site. [Like me going on two years]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I would be more of a dinosaur here ... (first posted over a year ago) ... but I had a little more control over on about.com's forums (and seemed to get better feedback--but, I was posting here in the relatively-dead "Why Women Leave Men"), so I was over there for a while.<P>Why'd it take 'em 6 years to put that out on video? Oh, I remember ... because the VCRs were rare and $1k+ in those days. I just saw one on sale (it recorded and everything) for $39.<P>

Sisyphus,<P>If there is anything I don't want to do it is to go through life without upsetting somebody.<P>Everyone Else,<P>What ever happened to "The mind so fine that no idea could violate it"? Big difference between what we need to hear and what we want to hear.<P>Bumper

"What ever happened to "The mind so fine that no idea could violate it"? Big difference between what we need to hear and what we want to hear."<P>This does go both ways, right? That is what caused this thread to begin in the first place or not? <P>I came here for support and to share information. I have learned more than I thought possible. I hope at times I can offer the same to others. Peace!!! Or let's see how long we can beat a dead horse!<P>Ragamuffin<P><BR>

Sisyphus, it is possible, upon occaision, for you to give the appearance that within your possession there is an ego of stiltifying and excessively overwhelming proportions - of loquaciousness beyond that of which any mere mortal might conceivably have the potential to ever need, possess, harbor, or maintain. This characteristic can be odious. I find that you put forth what seems to be an attitude of contentiousness. <BR>As does at least one other member of this community.<P>In other words, you just seem self-impressed and determined to be right and too dependent on your big words.<P>However, I have a feeling that if you would relax and get your head out of your office, you would be an all-right guy. I hope you find a way to back off a bit. Try looking at things with your heart and not your head. It's painful but you learn more about yourself.<P>My intent with this post, and I've put it here knowing that I'm going to get flamed, is to show you that you don't need all your fancy words. You'll reach more people if you use your smaller ones. Our job here is to help each other, not to whup-[censored].

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bleubelle:<BR><B>In other words, you just seem self-impressed and determined to be right and too dependent on your big words.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Geez, one use of "Churlish" and suddenly "gypped", "hotspot", "bigtime" and all the other stuff gets ignored. I ain't no Frasier Crane! <P>I'll try to put up what's really been bugging me and let everybody shoot at it.<P>

Well, I'll shoot straight and promise to get over it after I get steamed. All right?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bleubelle:<BR><B>Well, I'll shoot straight and promise to get over it after I get steamed. All right?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>The thread in question is called: XW/new GF Dilemma Stops Me Cold-Please help <BR>

Sisyphus,<P>Hey pal. There's only room for one MB pest, smart-*ss (or whatever) You tryin' to take my job or somethin'?<P>

Hey TS,<P>I was wondering when you were going to step up and defend your honor <P>- Jayhawk

jayhawk,<BR>I was just thinking that some [censored]-whupin might be kinda fun... JUST KIDDING!!<P>Everyone else,<BR>I think healing takes many forms. We have to face that there is alot of pent-up anger after a divorce. The beauty of doing it here is that we can walk away. We can shut off the computer, we can choose not to read a certain thread or choose not to respond, and noone would be the wiser. <P>This would be a pretty boring place if everyone had to walk on eggshells. Personally, I've really appreciated the opportunity to develop a thicker skin. It has helped me a great deal in my daily life.

TS,<P>May I be the first to say, "BRAVO" <P>Your latest opinion here may very well be the first time you and I have actually agreed!<P>Looks like 2001 is going to be a better year afterall.<P>And BTW, no matter how hard sisyphus tries, you'll always be the #1 MB Pest in my book <P>(yes, this was meant in good fun!!!!)<P><P>------------------<BR>“What does not kill me only makes me stronger”<BR> -F. Neitzsche

(nick checks for fins in the water)<P>Ok, let me clarify. I have never told my STBX that I've given up or that there is no chance for reconcilliation. At least once a month I try to find a way to let her know that although I've let go, and am moving forward with my life, that I still believe that out family and our relationship is worth saving.<P>That being said, I have accepted her choice and I am following a modified plan B. We still have contact, but it is primarily about our son and matter pertaining to her divorce. I am always cordial and considerate, and she is too, but I've purposely backed off any kind of relationship talk except for the once a month reminder that I'm still here & the door's still open.<P>I suspect that over time my skin will indeed thicken, but the wound is still fairly raw...<P><P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

(((((c00ker))))),<P>Boy am I ever glad to "see" you! Don't let your skin get so thick that you turn into the opposite! By the way you write, sounds like you are fine just the way you are! Being a kind hearted guy is an attribute. I'm glad you are one!<P>Happy to "see" you!<P>Ragamuffin