"How we view our partner’s behavior has an awful lot to do with whether we believe they mean well toward us."<P>That is exactly correct. After compromising over and over, and getting (seemingly) endless requests to facilitate him and HIS needs constantly (or very frequently), I stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt.<P>Furthermore, any resistance on my part to follow along or immediately correct my behavior to be parallel with his was rewarded with various degrees of (what I consider) punishment. Like the keys being pulled out of the ignition while I was driving around 50-60 MPH on a freeway. Like asking me if I replaced his blade on his razor any time he saw it moved because I forgot ONE TIME almost five years previous. <P>Another example... my ex wanted me to take the initiative on an outdoor weekend activity. We both enjoyed hiking, so I went to the trouble of calling some friends to ask where some good hiking trails were around here. They suggested a book, I went to the store and bought it, and came up with a potential list, and located it on a map. The ONE thing I didn't ask my friends was if there was camping there. After showing my ex the fruits of all of my labors, he got pissed that I didn't ask about the camping, then calmed down and said "oh. that's ok. You need to make your own mistakes." That is how he viewed just about anything I did that was different than him. A mistake. <P>So long story short, I felt tortured. It got to where I became afraid of him. I even told him one time that I was afraid of him, and what did he do? He said "I don't want to be married to someone who is afraid of me" and left the room. End of discussion.