Susan,<P>I know that after a divorce, particularly, we are sensitive in a whole new way. Our insides are but shattered shreds that are barely hanging together. To receive criticsm and judgment at this transition time, affects us much harder than it normally would.<P>All of us here at MB carry our own personal baggage, pain and last but not least, disappointment in ourselves. Some people express this by lashing out at others or the need to sound superior by way of their own choices. Perhaps they read something that hits them too close to home or mirrors their own pain. The comments they then express are not always constructive and are not directed at the right "trigger". I believe that harsh words are often directed at something within themselves that they perhaps fear, identify with or envy.<P>Do not let one personality conflict drive you from a site you find to be of benefit to you and your struggle to move forward and make a new and better life. How could one person's expression really matter?? Simply skip over those posts when they appear, if you are not strong enough to deal with them. It's easy, really.<P>Best of luck to you. The fact that you are willing to entertain the idea of a new future with someone speaks of your mental health and inate ability to heal and love. You are a strong woman and you should stand proud.

{{{{SUE}}}}<P>You've been thru a lot and you've become a stronger person because of it. I am happy to hear your thinking of marriage again someday in the future. You have to do what makes you happy, and if your lucky enough to go on and find a giving person who loves you, then don't let the past stop you! <P>I hope you reconsider and stay on the boards. Take a break if you feel you need it, thats what I did. But don't feel that you have to leave, because there are so many different views here, that there are bound to be conflicting opinions. <P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Sue,<P>I sure hope you're still reading...<P>You see, I was gone for five months... came back and wrote the thread which spurred this one... I had begun a new relationship with someone here, and I was scared to death to post about it.<P>But the majority of people were kind, very kind, in fact. Even the one big remark which cut me to the core included some kind words...<P>If I let that one person keep me away, I would be doing myself a great dis-service.<P>This board is full of REAL people struggling with real-live heart-wrenching situations. Just like you and I are.<P>Please don't go, unless you are ready... <BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited March 15, 2001).]

I, too, hope you don't let the one sided thoughts of some run you from a place that can be helpful.<P>I have been around off and on since April of last year and have seen some of your posts. I don't think the majority of people feel that you are beneath contempt for dating and wanting to find love in your life.<P>People change...and to the naysayers...I'm not using it as an excuse to dump your spouse. I feel it is completely self-centered to suggest that somone should stay in a marriage where there is no committment, no love, where there is physical and emotional abuse. <P>I worked on a case once where the spouse was in jail for killing his second wife who he was having an affair with on his third wife. The third wife...did't know she was the third wife, but thought she was the second wife. Anyway, wife number three was filing for divorce...this was her first marriage. According to some of the opinions, I would imagine this poor creature would be labeled not committed to her marriage because she is divorcing this fine man. Yes, there are two sides to every story...I would love to hear this guy's story.<P>My point is, I don't believe anyone thinks ill of you. I agree...some of us can get a bit over the top because of all the non-normal things going on in our lives. I know sometimes I feel like I'm living in a cartoon and can't get out.<P>Don't let the insensitivity of some send you away.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> I know sometimes I feel like I'm living in a cartoon and can't get out. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>ROTHLMAO!<P>that is a keeper of a quote!!<P>a little humor to brighten our days, hope yours is brighter too, Susan!<P>tom

MB has been a Gods send for me. All those on this forum have helped me with my "stand" in wanting to save my marriage. That is what I have always wanted, and why I came to this forum. I will continue to pray and hope, but in the mean time I must live and try to be happy again. I cannot control what my STBX husband does, I have done all I can do to let him know that I am open to working out our marriage, and the door WILL remain open. I have posted many topics, and even included Dating? <BR>I have been thrown a curve ball in my life, something I was not ready for and definately did not want. I have so many questions and am very confused at times. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my questions pertaining to solutions outside "trying to save the marriage".<BR>That will always be what I want (reconciliation), but I still have dreams and hopes (like starting a family), and I must follow my dreams. I can't let his mistake stop me from happiness. I just really want to do the right thing in Gods eyes.<P>I am just throwing my 2cents in.<BR>Thanks for listening,<BR>Petrie