Thank you too...<P>Survivor, Bob, Jane-Elise, and Sheba...<P> <P>I'm OK...<P>My oldest son has become, if anything, more rebellious...<BR>...even of my own authority.<P>And has now completely sided on most issues with his mom.<BR>And now has a <B>very</B> bitter hatred of his biological father!<P>And so... to protect the other two...<BR>...I had to sit down with him and spell out some boundries...<BR>...(didn't have too much in the way of "boundries" since his AHAD... and mother leaving caused me to over compensate)...<BR>...but his taking advantage of the situation has to stop!<BR><B>With this</B>... the meaning of success comes with more patient love on my part!... even if it's a bit of tough love!<P>As I continue in Plan B my xW (you know in my faith... I'm still married... until the annulment)...<BR>...I will be deliberately removing <B>any</B> and <B>all</B> focus on my xW...<P>Even my attorney suggested that I should decrease the appearance of hositilies by removing him (and he has been the main person to LB in my place)... by e-mailing my xW and telling her... there is no more correspondence to be sent to my attorney any more...<BR>...why not...<BR>...his services have now terminated...<P>This could mean... I now return as the <B>direct</B> "bad guy"...<BR>...so the need for Plan B... continues!<P>You can tell I've hit an all time low point in my love bank for her...<BR>...it is depleted...<BR>...and the completion of the annulment...<BR>...is now the cleansing of that love bank... a kind of scrubbing clean!<P>Complete focus can then be removed...<P>I'm challenged in so many ways now...<BR>...but I am good... and joy filled...<BR>...in my journey with God!<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<P>A hellish success story, but a success for sure.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Sorry to show up late, Jim, but God bless, and take good care of your son.<P>I hope that the annulment process helps in your healing. You have a good soul---God will take care of it.

Jim,<P>Getting here late as well, but I want to wish you the best and tell you how deeply I respect you and your chosen path.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

NSR,<P>I am so sorry for your pain. What a wonderful person you are to come out of your grief and to be encouraging to others. I will be where you are at soon (end of April), I am looking to those like you with hopes of handling "it" with dignity & grace. May God be with you in your journey.<P>Love and prayers,<BR>Petrie

Dear Jim... I'm terribly sorry for your circumstances. I'm praying for you today that God would either calm the storm or calm YOU in the midst of the storm... thanks for ALL of your advice through the various posts... I have been impacted by so many of your words and direction. May the God of peace bring you comfort and rest...<P>------------------<BR>Doing what you like is freedom... Liking what you do is happiness

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>You are in my thoughts and prayers now as always... I'm glad that God has given you peace and comfort and that you are dealing with this well.<P>If I keep going, I'm gonna get all mushy and cry, so I'll stop here.<P>Thoughts, Love & Prayers Always,<BR>Dawnetta

Well, I guess "welcome to the club" is in order! Sorry to hear the last minute BS (NOT betrayed spouse) that you had to endure. As I said in another post, you never really know someone until you divorce them.<P>I'm not big on cyber-hugs, but I can tell you that it gets better. Its been a whole month since I've been divorced. It is like a window is very, very slowly opening onto a new life. I look at my X as, well, my X. Nothing more, nothing less. It is a strange feeling, but I've begin to come to grips with the fact that it really is over.<P>Along the way, I've figured out that I'll be okay. You will be too. If you put half as much effort into your new life as you put into helping people here, you'll be doing very well indeed!<P>I downloaded a song from Napster that pretty much sums everything up for me...Don Henley's "The Heart of the Matter:"<P>I'm learning to live without you now,<BR>but I miss you sometimes.<BR>And the more I know, <BR>the less I understand.<BR>All the things I thought I'd figured out,<BR>I have to learn again.<P>I been tryin' to get down, <BR>to the heart of the matter,<BR>but my will gets weak,<BR>and my thoughts seem to scatter <BR>but I think its about...<BR>forgiveness,<BR>forgiveness,<BR>Even if you don't love me anymore.

{{{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>As I was contemplating what you have meant to the MB forum I offered a prayer of gratitude for you and your uplifting attitude and unselfish service. At that moment my heart broke for you and I wept for your pain. You have suffered in truth and earned every bit of wisdom we cherish from you. <P>Congratulations on accomplishing a terrible ordeal with class, dignity and righteousness. Something few can claim. We are privileged to have known you through this time, sir.<P>Thank you for everything.

Thanks again...<P><B>Chris, K, JL, Petrie, OvrCs, Dawnetta, cjack, Karenna</B>...<P>...you are all true friends.<P> <P>Jim

Dear Jim,<P>I am new to this part of the board. This is actually my first post on this site (I used to post on the General Questions II & Recovery sites). I now know that I belong here. I would like to extend my condolences to you and your family. These are such hard times. <P>I would also like to express my deepest appreciation of how I admire and have benefitted from you wise words of wisdom and the attitude you have displayed in responding to all the posts. <P>You and your family deserve so much better. Your world of hurt is great. I hope you are able to take the 'lemons of this world' and turn them into lemonade. <P>Take Care, <BR>L.<P>

Hi Jim,<P>how are you today? Just to let you know that I'm thinking of you.<P>love and hugs<P>Jo

Jim,<P>I am sorry that you are feeling so badly. I can only describe this to you as going through a death. Indeed, it is the death of your family that you now have to face. <P>You have been in my thoughts and prayers, even though I rarely post. I pray for your kids, too. I know that you have such a strong faith, and in the end, God is all we ever have to truly depend on to be there with us through the thick and thin of life.<P>You have endured some really sad, hard and hurtful times these past couple years. My wish for you and your children are sunnier, brighter and happier times ahead. I believe the Lord will bring peace and happiness back to your heart and your life, Jim.<P>Keep the faith. Know that through all of this, you have been an inspiration of faith, courage and perseverence to so many here, including myself.<P>I'll keep you in my prayers.....Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hi Jim,<P>Just bringing this back up to see how you are doing after this weekend...<P>Love and Hugs,<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

<B>Orchid</B>...<BR>I'm so sorry you have to be on this forum...<BR>But it is possible to heal here...<BR>...as long as you continue to learn, about MB concepts...<BR>...and that is about learning to love.<P><B>Jo</B>...<BR>I'm doing fine...<BR>...I have my kids... I have all of you...<BR>You have my prayers.... joined with yours.<P><B>Desiree</B>...<BR>So true... "God is all we ever have to truly depend on..."!<BR>You too have my daily prayers.<P><B>Sheryl</B>...<BR>I'm doing just fine. This weekend, I went to my MILs. They (MIL, SIL, BIL) love me so much... and want me always <BR>to be part of their family... and of course the kids too.<BR>My MIL is even telling me to find a new W (I think she's concerned that the kids don't have a "mother" figure to grwo up with.) She too (and even more so my SIL) was very upset about my W describing in detail the allegded rape whe claimed against her first xH.<P>They (the ILs) are good people... and have been hurt by this as much as anyone. I'll love them.<P>Prayers to you... and the decisions you have in your life.<P> <P>Jim