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#785 08/19/99 09:30 AM
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-Male<BR>-34 (next month)<BR>-Married 12 years<BR>-3 Kids (12, 9, 6)<BR>-Betrayed<P>W had an affair that lasted 3 months, I had no idea that she was having an affair, nothing like this has ever happened before, I have never been unfaithful to her, I was totally devastated. My W admitted everything when I found out, she is sooo sorry, W had already stopped seeing OM. Things are going OK at the moment (5 months after discovery) we are working on rebuilding our marriage.<BR>

#786 08/19/99 09:50 AM
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It took me 3 Pepsis and a pack of Cigarettes to read all of these!<P>Female<BR>Age 50 (handling it well)<BR>betrayed<BR>Married 30 years<BR>2 Children (24 & 27)<BR>Empty Nesters<BR>In Recovery 18mo.<BR>Doing Great!!!<BR>Soon to be Grandparents!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>"TIME" :)<P><BR>

#787 08/19/99 11:56 PM
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Okay well here i am.......<BR>36 years old married for 17 years with 2 kids<BR>I live in canada<BR>Betrayer<BR>Do i feel bad.......you bet i do cause hubby didn't deserve it!!!!!!<BR>Met a guy from icq we have talked almost 1 year and spent 3 days together,he is single and great,talked daily for months on phone...<BR>Not sure where we are headed but i love him with all my heart.

#788 08/20/99 12:27 AM
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ok here goes:<P>Female ... 28 .. been married 10 years on August 15th<P>3 kids .. 2 girls and a boy<P>Betrayer ... both through online affairs started 8 years into our marriage ... and a physical one a month and a half ago<P>married to mickeyddd who posts on here too .. we are working on our relationship and have been for the past month .. got a long way to go .. but this weekend going on a marriage encounter through the church which we both believe is gonna help us even more tremendously ... : )<P>------------------<BR>Alliy

#789 08/20/99 06:36 AM
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Better late than never.<P>Male<BR>Age 41<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 19 yrs <BR>Two children 9 & 3<P>W has rejected my Plan A work and says she is not in love w/me and does not want to work to regain that love. Physical part of affair is over, but she sees OM 2-3 times a week at her workplace. She is looking for an apartment and intends to file for divorce; however, want's to experience "being free" before she makes a final decision.<P>

#790 08/20/99 06:52 AM
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Female<BR>25<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 2 1/2 years<BR>Married 1 month when cheating started<BR>H says he loves me and wants to work out our marriage but keeps cheating.<BR>Debating on leaving....

#791 08/20/99 09:47 AM
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Male<BR>Betrayed<BR>Thought I was the baby here until Latrice posted. <BR>Age 26<BR>Married 2 yrs.<P>Wife was involved with an old friend, was physical only one night(at least that is what she tells me) We are together and working on our marriage, and going to couseling, things seem to be better but its still a rollercoaster of emotions. I know that no marriage is perfect but my dreams of having something pretty close was shattered along with my heart. I know that God has something special planned for my W and I, We just have to be patient and work together with God to make our marriage something that we both never imagined.<P>God Bless all of You.

#792 08/20/99 09:27 PM
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Betrayed<BR>Married 1 year (2nd for both)<BR>No kids from earlier marriage <BR>H went 'distant in May' - found out in July. Met OW in a class in England in May<BR>I'm 44; he's 52; wants to be a father and move to england to be a father to the OW's 2 year old (in the past, can't stand kids)<BR>He's staying with a friend; we check in almost daily<BR>Doing a modified Plan a, but now I'm wondering if I really want to work on it.

#793 08/21/99 03:06 AM
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Betrayed (again!)<BR>Male<BR>34<BR>Response: inability to trust anyone again<BR>

#794 10/02/99 05:16 PM
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Bringing this to the top for the benefit of Stonehenge and all other new members.

#795 10/02/99 07:14 PM
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Awwright, awwright. I give in. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Male.<BR>Age= almost 45<BR>Betrayed ca. 1984-90, betrayer ca. 1998.<BR>Married 21 years to Suse. Have been together for 24, almost 25 years.<BR>Suse had an affair after 6 years of marriage, due mostly to my emotional distance. I had one after 20 years of marriage due mostly to her emotional distance.<BR>Two sons, 11 and 6.<BR>Her affair was off/on for 6 years. Mine was brief, one month. I was seriously into internet chat for 2 years, unbeknownst to Suse.<BR>We're now doing fabulously 1 year after my infidelity. We're very lucky.<BR>

#796 10/02/99 09:53 PM
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Jim<BR>Male<BR>Age 41<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 11 yrs (known W since childhood) <BR>Three children 17(stepson... like real son)<BR> and 10(boy) & 7(girl)<P>W found OM on Internet (since 12/98)<BR>Discovered (4/99)<BR>W filed for divorce (end of 4/99)<BR>I counter filed (end of 6/99)... for custody<P>W gives up kids, and moves out to live near OM (8/28/99)... OM moves into her apartment.<BR>W is still looking for a job.<BR>Living off of $10K I gave her to move out<BR> (preliminary Property Settlement Agreement).<P>I found out about MB 9/27/99!!!<BR>Working on Plan A...<BR>W still continues to say she hates me...<BR>and says it's over.

#797 10/02/99 09:59 PM
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Female<BR>32 years old in Nov<BR>Married 5 yrs in Jan 00<BR>Betrayed<BR>-no children<BR>-have been physically seperated since Nov 99 because of job for 10 months<BR>-affair was in Jan 99 (lasted 2 weeks...if that is the truth)<BR>-OW got pregnant and moved away. H says they have no contact.<BR>-Will be physically back living together in Dec 99. Excited...but scared.

#798 10/02/99 10:15 PM
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Female<BR>48yrs old.<BR>Married 27 yrs<BR>Betrayed<BR>2 children 2 grandsons<BR>discovered H affair and confronted him 3/18/99<BR>went to marriage counseling since he told the counselor he couldn't give OW up we went separately but he started lying to counselor. Counselor finally convinced him to tell me the truth. Past year very tramatic son was diagnoised with kidney failure 7/03/98 Sexual affair started 9/98 but he had been close to her all summer. I had surgery 2/12/99. H donated kidney to son. Surgery was 6/29/99 I nursed both of them throught surgery but he was still in contact with her lying about it. At last couple counseling 7/30 he told me about his lying but said he wanted to stay with me. I made a BIG mistake I let me go to break it off and he never returned. He called and told me he was staying with her. Had few meetings since then say he wants a divorce. Haven't talk to him since 8/23/99 Started doing plan A last week. I send him simple little notes say I care and Ilove you. Will keep this up for awhile. Didn't mean to be so long. He has never done anything like this ever!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

#799 10/02/99 10:16 PM
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Here's Mine!!<P>Female<BR>53 in Dec.<BR>Married 35 yrs. in Oct.<BR>2 married sons<BR>4 grandchildren<BR>Betrayed<P>To my knowledge, my H has never had an affair, unless it was a one night stand. In Feb/Mar. '98, H started to display a very nasty streak towards me. No matter what I did, it was wrong, thus "forcing" him to walk out and go to the cottage? for 2 or 3 days. This went on almost weekly. In May, H started threatening to leave me, but never did. I began to suspect him of having an affair, but had no concrete proof, other than my gut instinct. In Aug./Sept. H started behaving the way he had, prior to '98. Not only did I discover he had had an affair, but it had been with one of my younger sisters. He has denied it, as well as Sis. They can deny until the day they die, but I have confronted him with solid evidence, that cannot be explained away. We started counseling in Nov.'98, and have been going weekly since then. Things are much improved between us, but I still have my moments.<P>------------------<BR><BR>SUCCESS STORY<P>

#800 10/03/99 11:06 PM
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missed it the first time...<P>Male<BR>33 years<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 4 yrs in Aug (after affair started<P>June 23, W had a "date" with acquaitance/friend from work (2 other coworkers failed to showup). They talked/clicked for 5 hrs that night. She told me about the overwhelming attraction/feelings 2 days later and 1 wk later started to call him/see him on side though I knew. July 15, said she wanted to separate and she moved out Aug 16. Still in high of affair, has told me she was never "in-love" with me, and I think she has a valid point since our courtship was mostly friendship and not hot and heavy.

#801 10/03/99 12:48 PM
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45<BR>the Other Man<BR>never married, no kids<BR>in love with separated as yet to be divorced woman<P>encouraged to see BonnieSept's post . . . son of a gun, maybe loyalty and trust does have its true meaning after all ?

#802 10/03/99 01:31 PM
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Female<BR>-Age 27<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 5 1/2 years<BR>-Three kids, 2 boys 2 and 8 and a girl 7<P>Caught H and my friend screwing around about 6 weeks ago. H lied and then came clean and told me what happened and said it would never happen again. Then three weeks ago I found out that he had been calling her and that he took off work one morning to meet her. I confronted him and gave him a choice to give her up and work on us or I would leave. He decided to stay and we have been reading this site and started counseling. I am still having a hard time, but trying to give it my all. I will not give up I love him too much to do that.<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>and if I shed a tear I won't cage it<BR>I won't fear love<BR>and if I feel a rage I won't deny it<BR>I won't fear love<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"<BR>Sarah Mclachlan<P>

#803 10/03/99 02:27 PM
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25 years old<BR>female<BR>betrayed<BR>together with husband 7 years and 7 months,married for 2 years and 3 months.<BR>Husband had a five month affair with a coworker who was going through a divorce. She was 2 years older than him (he is 26). The affair ended immediately after I learned about it from a mutual friend. Many of our friends knew and decided not to tell me for fear of losing him as a friend as well. We are doing well. Learned of affair in February of 1999. It started right after our first anniversary.

#804 10/03/99 04:19 PM
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here is my story...<P>h,52, second marriage son with first...<BR>my first marriage, 45, daughter with H..<BR>he started emotional affair w/old freind, 52, who is still married also..!!<BR>she has two grown kids, and unhappy with her H, (who would have known, w/my about my H), and I feel is waiting for her daughters wedding to be over, (june of 2000) until she leaves her H. <BR>my h, left thanks giving morning, 98.. w/note to our daughter, not me.. coward he is..<BR>out of the house now 11 mths..<BR>end of story...<P>AV<BR>

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