I am not dead. Not physically. But I feel dead. Outside. Inside. It doesn't matter. Oh, I'm sure I'll "get over this" but just not at any superman pace. My ex came by this last weekend and my D moved back to her home with them. I am staying with my parents for the week so I can get pampered.<P>I appreciate your concern, especially my friend Sheryl and Orchid. I didn't want you all to keep thinking I had done something stupid. (I won't lie and say I've not considered it though)<P>Orchid, I have also considered ways in which I could initiate a civil suit against Mia. I'm not sure at this point what it would accomplish. It obviously won't get my exH back. He's so in love with her it makes me sick. But even if it didn't go very far, the thought of seeing her squirm and worry and use up her financial resources is appealing to me.<P>Thanks again for all your support and concern.<BR>

WHEW!!!! Thanks for letting us know you're ok! I didn't post but I checked in all the time to see if you were around.<P>Glad you're back!<P>(((((HUGS)))))<BR>Mitzi

Dear TL,<P>Good to hear from you. Sounds like pampering is a good and you have your fight back. It is ok to still call me. Maybe we can do Starbucks or lunch sometime. <P>Here's my pager: 408-989-0115 will work as long as h has paid his bill. The only item he is paying for me @$7.50 per month - wow.<P>I don't know what I will dig up, but I can share some stuff off line that I did for the OW. Can't post here because H does know about this place. Don't worry, all is legal. Except for the 'poop' incident, I really don't do much, just enough to make them go hmm.... Besides, I did NOT put the poop in the pants (need to clarify that point again).<P>Have a nice day. <P>L.<P>

Orchid: Pls. post your email adddress so I can respond....<BR>Thanks.

Hi TL,<P>Had an uplifting post from BrambleRose and SoTired2000 on a question I had posted to SoTired2000. It really helped me maybe it can do some for you also. <P>Here is my e-mail address: lhmkem@yahoo.com<P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

TL,<P>I'm glad you replied . It is going to take some time, and your dealing with a lot right now. I wish we all knew what to do in times like this to take the hurt away, but we've all been there, and all can relate, even to the "thoughts" at times too.<P>Thats the best thing for you right now, to be pampered and be with people who love you.<P>hugs and prayers to you, Dana<BR>

TL...you have received some good advice from many on this board...<BR>Reading your anger, despair, and hurt ...(made me smile)...<BR>Please don't get mad let me tell you why...<BR>When I started posting over a year ago..I have gone thru the stages that you are now...In fact SOMETIMES I still do...BUT<BR>now I see a better future for myself...not like it was before...but better in the fact that thru this forum...I have done all I could to save my marriage...<BR>Some things appeared to work and some blew up in my face...but hey I tried them anyway...<BR>I am 1 week away from divorce trial date...and you know what I am OK...H is no longer with ow...has no job, living with relatives...and is very miserable....<BR>OK so I don't have a job either, I am right now with my daughter...and my son and i will move in with my parents soon...<BR>Yet I have my kids...I have taken a few courses to help me get MY life back on track...I will be going back to school..working part time..building a new life...<BR>With or without my husband...You see I told him yesterday that UNLESS he stops the divorce this time ( I have done it twice before) I cann no longer talk to him...I am moving on with my life and have tried everything to save my marriage..<BR>Well AS Dr. Phil says..you must earn your way out of a marriage. I feel I have done this..<BR>I am still angry at time. and jealous, and have triggers too...but now they are less frequent...I find myself enjoying things that I had given up ...so life is returning ..not perfect...but better..<BR>I see a future where once I didn't...<BR>So hang in there...<BR>Mu H has my attorneys phone number and if he puts it on hold..I will hang on for a while longer..if not well then it is time to move on...<BR>I have enrolled in a divorce recovery program thru a locale church...I have know about it for a long time...but wasn't ready before to "RECOVER" now I am ready...and you will too..<BR>Recover after divorce..not recover in my marriage..at least not as of this day and hour.<BR>" When life gets too rough..put your problems and worries in God's basket and let him handel it for you..."<BR>((Oh and this is after being married for almost 30 years..)).<P>Love and Prayers<BR>Tyra<P><p>[This message has been edited by Tyra (edited April 04, 2001).]

Hey Tanya,<P>THANK GOD!!! <P>I'll write ya... and thank you for responding... I was soooooooo worried!<P>Love to you <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Hi Tanya,<P>I'm glad you're 'ok'. I'm also glad you'll be with your parents for a while - it's probably exactly what you need right now.<P>I was away for a few days but I thought of you often, and prayed that you were ok.<P>I'm sure we've all had those 'black thoughts' as I call them. Sometimes this is just too much for one person to bear. But bear it we do, and we will all get through it.<P>I know at times that this board has been my saviour. The people here. Just amazing.<P>I'm not in any position to just 'pop over' and visit to make sure you're ok, even phone calls cost a million dollars a minute with the exchange rate the way it is at the moment, so DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU HEAR..........!!!!!!!<P>I'm sending you the biggest hug<P>keep well and try to take care of yourself<P>we all love you, you know<P>Jo