I am TRUELY sorry if I offended you with what I said earlier. I meant it in jest only. I know you are not gay silly!!<P>What you mentioned about us 'finding a friend' id true. Being that you are in so much of the same sit. as me I am easily comforted by ya!!<P>Thank you for offering your #. I appreciate the gesture. Dont know if its the greatest idea though!! I easily see your needs, and you have seen mine. I dont want you to inadvertently 'meet' mine, Bill.<P>I would like to talk to ya though. Just dont know about it being 'right.'<P> <BR>Dara

Completely understand all. I AM NOT GAY. I got a little wrapped up in the "God sending friend" thingy. God has sent me lots of friends on the board and yes I feel that you are one of them. I don't mean or want to confuse you in any way.<P>I just want you to know that I am here if you need me.<P>So did you breathe and make it through your surprise of the day?<P>Bill

Yeah I made it through OK. Surprising thing is;I am not looking for a way to talk to him or anything. I honestly just feel like being alone. <P>Hell, I am alone here in this house ALL the time..He has his own life going. <P>Thanks for the support Bill. Its too bad you dont get on over the weekend. I'll miss ya.<P>(((Bill)))<P>Dara

Yeah I made it through OK. Surprising thing is;I am not looking for a way to talk to him or anything. I honestly just feel like being alone. <P>Hell, I am alone here in this house ALL the time..He has his own life going. <P>Thanks for the support Bill. Its too bad you dont get on over the weekend. I'll miss ya.<P>(((Bill)))<P>Dara

Almost forgot, you did not offend me in the least. It's just that my wife has always teased me about cooking, cleaning, and ironing. Her little maid.<P>I was trying a little bit of humor by spending so much time on that point. Very little.<P>Bill

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Learning as I go:<BR><B>Hell, I am alone here in this house ALL the time..He has his own life going.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I know the feeling. I feel like I never have any time for me and that she is always doing something. I guess that's what tonight is for. I've decided to just "look mysterious" while eating alone somewhere and then walk the mall. See if I can work up the nerve to try the Victoria Secret thang. <P>FYI - I may be here for a while on Saturday. Don't know what time but probably somewhere aroung noon - 2pm your time.<P>Bill<P>

Well all it’s time to sign off for the evening. I sneak back in tomorrow for a peek at what’s going on.<P>Gnome: Thank you for your help this week. The smacks on the back of the head help me clear out the cobwebs. Looking back I would of done some pretty stupid things.<P>Hubby: Hope everything works for you man. Sounds like you have a good thing going. Keep it up. With more time I’m sure that the bad days will be replaced more and more with the good days.<P>Dara: I can’t even begin to thank you enough for this week. Looking at where I started, if you and Gnome wouldn’t have smacked me around a little I don’t know where I’d be. The green shag day is one that I won’t forget for a long time. That day really got me thinking about myself. I posted on the “Poem” board this morning about myself. Read it if you have time. Thanks for the laughter and the tears. BTW I’m not gay you’re the one moving to a house with shag carpet! Hmmmmmm. <P>To all out there, this board is in my prayers. Thanks to all who have helped me and I know that as I go through rough times ahead I know that you will be here for me again. This week I went through every emotion in the book and with help I made it.<P>(((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))<P>Bill<BR><P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

Anybody there. I'm getting ready to vent.

LEEEEET”S Get Ready To RAMBLE!!!!!!!!<P>Hope you all don’t mind. But need to release this. Last night my wife came home from a friends house about 9:45. She changed her clothes and said that they were going grocery shopping. For her friend this is not an unusual occurrence. Well seeing what shoes and clothes my wife put on I knew that they weren’t going shopping. Well she returned around 1:30, considering drive time it was conceivable that they went shopping. Wife come upstairs without her shirt on went immediately into the bathroom. I started downstairs to let the dog out and she tried to talk me out of it. So this really peeked my curiosity. Let the dog out and looked at the laundry hamper. I couldn’t see her shirt. It was buried half way down through the basket and smelled of smoke like the smell you get if you go to a bar. I came back upstairs and waited for Lisa. She stumbled out of the bathroom and went directly to bed. As she passed me I could sure smell the bar. Well I asked her if they had a good time. Then asked what why she smelled so bad like smoke. She insisted that she got that from her friend smoking a couple cigarettes outside and they went to Wal-Mart and came home. Now keep in mind that her speak is very slurred, eyes are foggy, and I mean she totally stinks. Well nothing pisses me off more that a lie. So I admit it that I started an argument that maybe I shouldn’t have. She keep to her story for about an hour, changing it ever so slightly each time. Then she came forth with the truth. By this time there has been plenty of love busters from both sides. She told me that they never planned on going to wal-mart, they met some other friends at a bar. Duh! That’s what I had been saying for the last hour. The next thing I did was real bad. After some more love busting by both of us, I packed all of her clothes up. I took them out to her van and told her that if she wanted to be single then there is no time like the present, GET THE F(&% OUT. She wouldn’t leave. Well long story short, after I consulting with my mom, she works for a county atty, I found out that there was nothing that I could do. <P>Well today hasn’t been much better. I told her that I wanted my van back, we have two one in her dad’s name and the new one is in my name only. Well I get in it to come here and type. I started the van and she runs out and stops me. Told me to take her over to her friends house. I do. She goes in and gets fuses from that house and puts them back into my van. What’s the purpose?<P>Anyway I’m not really sad, angry, or depressed about the situations. The thing that does make me a little uncomfortable is that after 11 year, 11 months, and 1 day I took off my wedding ring for the first time. That hurt me a little, not half as much as I thought it should of and that’s the saddest part of it. <P>I love my wife but I sure do not like the mask that she is wearing. Truly believe that it is hopeless. <P>Any comments good or bad welcome…<P>If you read everything above thank you for allowing me to vent.<P>Bill<BR><P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

What the hell happened last night?<P>Are you still here?

Thank you yes I'm here

You lost it didnt ya?

There is nothing in this world that pisses me off more than lieing. I never raised my voice but I did say bad things. I hate to say this but I really wish that she would have left. Of course I unpacked all of her stuff and put it all away neatly while she was sleeping so that the kids wouldn't see anything in the morning.

I don't know that it was ver mine to lose. Wow that's deep. Again, I never raised my voice. Never touched her. She yelled and hit me.

So are you giving up on her then???<P>It seems that way bud!!

No you lost your compusure and blew it.

I'm giving up on the alien. I wish that I could have Lisa back. Have you seen her? I think she's lost. <P>Right now, I am going to focus on me and the girls. While Lisa and I are living with each other there is no reality and without reality there is no hope.<P>Make any sense?<P>BTW Couldn't get that cashier a VS to try anything on yesterday.<P>Bill

No you did not yell or hit, but you threw her stuff out and told her to leave!!!

No Bill the reality thing made no sense. Sounds like a country song. Have you been listening to too much country music again? <P>Did you really think that she would a sudden change of heart after you threw her out?

True and actions do speak louder than words. Why the hell wouldn't she leave?<P>If, it makes any difference, I packed her stuff up rather neatly and well organized.