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Damn ARMY spelling gets me in trouble all the time.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>It is hard work.<P>BTW Charlie's Angels Unless your talking about the new moview your showing your age.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Umm yeah Bill. I am actually 55yo, about 350lbs, work as a phone sex operator, live in a trailer, have 8 kids, by 9 different fathers, wear a mumu, have rollers in my hair, and I am just here to pick up my next victim.<P>Almost forgot about the fuzzy pink slippers too<BR>
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Ok you had me until the pink fuzzy slippers. Here in Arkansas, they wear those pink slippers in Beauty pagents. If you’re a phone sex operator we’ve probably talked before I use the name Dan Yankinoff. Did I mention that I’m really 16, still live at home, and have three children. Well I don’t know if there my kids or my cousins, it’s kind of a long story. I’m a computer geek and a master at one handed typing. But hey I have 3 chest hairs if your in to that kinda thing. <P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/tongue.gif)
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BTW: If you notice some time between my reply's it's because I'm working or at least tying to make it look that way.
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I was afraid you wouldnt think that was funny. <P>Great comeback!!!
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Barbie,<P>Wait a minute you live in a trailer. Did you get that from Ken in "D". I didn't think you lived in Texas yet. Here in Arkansas we don't live in no trailer. We live in the most exclusive mobile home park in three blocks.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>Barbie,<P>Wait a minute you live in a trailer. Did you get that from Ken in "D". I didn't think you lived in Texas yet. Here in Arkansas we don't live in no trailer. We live in the most exclusive mobile home park in three blocks.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>ROTFLMAO<P>Nope I'm proud to say I got that trailor from dem dere last husband. And I suure am proud to say it's a winnybagel.<P>
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ROTFLMAO<P>OUCH!!!!<P>I tried that and hit my head on the steering wheel. Hey when I was I kid you would of been a candidate for the 11:30 rule. After 11:30 there were no rules. 350+ and rollers WOW
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>ROTFLMAO<P>OUCH!!!!<P>I tried that and hit my head on the steering wheel. Hey when I was I kid you would of been a candidate for the 11:30 rule. After 11:30 there were no rules. 350+ and rollers WOW</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>HUH??????????<P>What the tarnation is goin on here?<P>11:30 rule?<P>NOOOOO.... I am NOT 350 with rollers. I'm proud to say my hair is ntaurally kinky and since I'm on the new Oprah diet for the past year I am a svelt 349.<P>
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I also forgot to say that I'm really 6'0" tall and 98 pounds. I'd be mighty proud if you'd accompany me to the county fair. I hear this year there havin a coed corn eating contest. I think we've got a shot at the grand prize. I brand new BBG cover with air vents.
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11:30 Rule: Before 11:30pm I male teenager may attempt to pick up only cheerleaders. After 11:30 or 8 beers a male teenager may pick up any woman that walks upright, has atleast two teeth, and can count to 3.<P>Reminds me of an old saying: I've never went to bed with an ugly women but I've sure woke up with some.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>I also forgot to say that I'm really 6'0" tall and 98 pounds. I'd be mighty proud if you'd accompany me to the county fair. I hear this year there havin a coed corn eating contest. I think we've got a shot at the grand prize. I brand new BBG cover with air vents.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I wish you could know how hard I laughed.<P>PS. I thought a guy like a gal w/o teeth!!!<BR>
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Let me tell ya about my new diet.<P>Sciencetific research has determined that a Twinkie has a shelf life of about 1,800 light years. And it is NOT bio-degradable. So with that in mind, the way I figure, I can eat all the Twinkies I want because my body cant digest them. In fact, it has worked!! I've lost 18 ounces in 22 months!! Thats based purely on my own calculations though. My scale only goes up to 300, and I cant see the numbers over my gut anyways.<BR>
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Obviously, you don't understand the 11:30 rule. You see we had a lot of cattle give birth to some pretty weird creatures her in Arkansas during the 60's. That's why we added at least two teeth and count to three. First we thought of only having them count two. But Jethro kept hearing moo and in his drunken stuper he thought it was two now he's got a whole heard of children.<P>Twinkie diet OMG.
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I'll tell you what the more you go into detail about yourself the more worked up I'm a gettin. I'm thinkin bout jumping into the pinto and heading your direction. Just as soon as I get some tires to replace those concrete blocks.<p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 01, 2001).]
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>Obviously, you don't understand the 11:30 rule. You see we had a lot of cattle give birth to some pretty weird creatures her in Arkansas during the 60's. That's why we added at least two teeth and count to three. First we thought of only having them count two. But Jethro kept hearing moo and in his drunken stuper he thought it was two now he's got a whole heard of children.<P>Twinkie diet OMG.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>OMG!!!<P>Where in the heck do you come up with this stuff?<BR>You are waayy too funny. Thought it was two but actually a moo.<BR>LOL<P>
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Back to seriousness for just a moment. Dara, this used to be me all the time. I was such a comedian. I was also the one that my classmates sought for advice. I helped a 14 year old friend of mine through the birth of her child. I held her, I cried with her, I pulled her through the experience. Whenever she was in trouble I was there. And no, I never made advances at her. She was more to me as a friend then she could of ever been as a lover. <P>This is the Bill or should I say Billy that I'm looking for. Looking back through marriage he left a long time ago.<P><BR>OK enough serious stuff. How many tattoo's and piercings?<P>Men is scared of women without teeth around these parts, that usually means that she chews more tobacco then he does.
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So are we going for a record here Bill?<P>Twelve pages Oh my gosh.<P>Called a university in SA, they have room for a fall start up in their ADN program. I called Rick, so it looks like he will be going.<P>Now I look around, and am starting to panic!!<BR>I have so much to do! I cant just take what I need. We will have to clear this house. And I am sure you know all about how toys and stuff accumulate. Sheesh! I doubt if I will get any help from him!!<P>I have two months now to get everything in order.<BR>Panic setting in.....
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Ahemm? Tatoo's and peircing's?<P>Just how personal do you want me to get Bill? <P>You shoot first.<P>Gotta go be an adult in min, so hurry.
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Left Shoulder MOM<BR>Right Should JENNY owe wait last week got the "J" crossed out and replaced with "P" - I think she's the one.<P>Forearms Naked women with devil heads<P>Belly Button: arrow pointing down with saying "Slippery when wet<P>No earing to speak of but I've a huge mole on my nose. Sometime I put some gold fingernail polish on it and it looks just like a stud.<p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 01, 2001).]
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