Update, she just called and said that she was not going to go away for the weekend. I apologized for this morning. I said "ou know that when we argue that I say things I don't fully mean". She said "So that means I can keep the van for now". I rolled over and said yes. She asked me a question that had nothing to do with marriage, I can't remember what it was but it ended with "is that what you want" I responded with "No, I want my wife back". She said "I can't give you that". I responded "You are the only one that can give me that, you won't give me that would be the appropiate answer". We ended the conversation nicely.<P>I don't think that I can live this way for another month and five days. Any Advise????????<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

Dara,<P>I'm going to stop double posting. Please look at the letter I wrote in "The Coaster Ride Continues". Your opinion is very valueable to me.<P>Thanks, Bill

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Just Learning:<BR><B>Dara,<P>If I knew the answer to your last question, I would definitely give it to you. It will be hard for him to reconnect with you away and the OW here to distract him. Yet, he has expressed what many have before, that the old marriage is dead and a new one needs to be started.<P>The hope is that it is with you. The issue here is that both of you will be tempted. You will be tempted to get on with life, date, and more. But if you do the marriage or any hope of a marriage will be gone. You will need to make a plan about this and then stick to it or all is lost.<P>You do need to talk to him about communications when you leave if you do this. Will he accept emails, letters, etc.? If you don't communicate then there is little chance for this marriage or the new one. It will rest mainly on you. Indeed I suspect that most of this recovery will rest with what you do and don't do. Are you ready for this?<P>This is truely the question and the test Dara. It will be rough but you can do it, however, it will take commitment such as you have never shown to do it. I know you have it in you, but you will second guess yourself a lot. People here will help you as much as they can.<P>God Bless,<P>JL</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi JL.<P>I am really leaning towards doing this. Yes, communication will be completely open. To make a plan and stick to it I will do. I think its called being a wife!! And showing him how much I love him. Keep in mind we have gone through many seperations in the past due to his deployments. It always seemed to renew our hearts.<P>I believe that by going home, I will have the oppurtunity to show him that I do love him. Without expectations. And by actions...I also think that if it doesnt work out it will be easier for me to accept. He had mentioned that we can certainly talk alot over the phone and keep in touch.<P>Right now he does not believe I love him. Says it is borne out of jealousy. I can prove to him that I do love him long distance too. Hell as much as I've told him here he still does not believe me. I think because he will not simply accept it. Feels that I say it/show it hoping for the same;which he is not ready to give.<P>I told him last night that I worry about him joining the military again. He will be stationed here. For two years to get him through school financially. I said what if it does work out? What if you do decide you want me? What then? I will be stuck in SA and you will be stuck here for two years. Thats a long time to wait. His response? Look how long I waited for you to come around Dara. Years. And you know what? I still dont believe that you have. If I want this after all, two years is not long to wait if you really love me. <P><BR>Yep Yep Yep. <P>Testing me he is.<P>Dara<BR>