Thanks everyone for the replies. It never occurred to me that ex and I would even sit together in the first place. He is very much aware of how I feel towards the OW, and she also feels the same way. Although she has attended my daughter's soccer games, we have not ever sat together,This is not about me, as someone hinted at. My daughter does not particularly want her there, and actually told her father that. She also did not want her at the soccer banquet 2 months ago, but ex said OW insisted on coming. We didn't sit together then, so I don't know why he thinks anything would be different 2 months later.<BR>Yes, I do know I still have some anger issues. However, in my marriage, I was pretty much a door mat and never questioned or argued about anything--I was always the one making the compromizes and being the peacemaker. I sometimes wonder if some of this anger is from keeping my feelings to myself for so long. I really try to follow Erin's guidance,but I'm so weary.I guess I'm just tired of being the responsible one.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to get angry and not be the peacemaker. <P>I think that often my H wants someone to make decisions for him, and the OW is more than happy to do so. For all I know, maybe he hopes that I won't acquiesce to whatever "he" decides, because he is not willing to tell the OW to go jump in a lake, but might be willing to shift the blame to me.

xxx

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 02:00 AM: Message edited by: skye ]</small>

Thank you Skye for you encooouragement--you must be heaven sent because you always show up and give me the hope I seem to lose and the encouragement to keep on. I never actaully thought of myself as contentious, as you mentioned. I saw myself as the "victim" again and was very hurt and yes, angered, by the insensitivity of all of this. I still have some maturing to do. Than you and everyone else who took the time to respond.

xxx

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 02:02 AM: Message edited by: skye ]</small>

Hi Skye: Thanks again for writing . This restoration business sure is hard.You seem to have much more of a grip on the long term than I do. The slightest setback and I get so discouraged and out of frustration , do something stupid. I admire your tenacity and strength.<BR>I spent the day picking out what to wear for the graduation, just in case I see HIM. I spoke with my daughter and told her I was too uncomfortable sitting with OW and her Dad, and that I would not be able to enjoy the ceremony like I should . I would meet her in a designated spot afterwards for a hug, etc. She understood and was okay with it.<BR>I know my temper got in the way as usual,and ex is also a little irritated with me to say the least. Anyway, each of our kids have always had a cake for graduation which we cut when we got home. Daughter , and her two cousins will be staying at her Dad's house that night and for the following 3 nights. I know ex has not even thought about the cake, so I ordered the cake and prepaid the cost. I emailed ex and told him when cake would be ready, and for him to pick it up so it would be a surprize for her on graduation night. Anyway, I hope this will smooth things over a little bit. Daughter's car is in the shop and she is borrowing his for the weekend. He had to come over to get her and he called first, and told her to be waiting outside-I obviously hit a nerve! Graduation is Friday night, and I'll let you know what happens..

xxxxxxxx

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 11:37 PM: Message edited by: skye ]</small>

Skye:<BR>I am truly blessed to have your wisdom helping and encouraging me in this difficult journey. God has sent me an angel in you to show me where I need to make more [much more] improvements. Thank you for taking the time to help a fellow traveler on the long, weary, and very painful road of restoration. I wish there was some way I could be of help and support to you, since you have been hanging in there with me for quite awhile now.<BR>Have you signed up to be a member of Erin's? I read her first thing every morning, and maybe one day I will actually follow her biblical advice 100%! Another of my faults is that little bug of rebellion, and not being able to totally let go and let God. I also discovered Itoo have control issues, and although I realize I have control over nothing,I still keep trying to help God.<BR>Thank you again for taking time to respond and giving me encouragement- I hope you have a wonderful Sunday, because you deserve it!