I'm moving this over to your thread... will repost what I wrote here over there... <p>[This message has been edited by OvrCs (edited August 07, 2001).]

The question about an affair...I had tried to explain how my mother kept saying there must be someone else...and I kept not seeing it...thought my friens would stay on the right side of the line...that she would...but...you know...its just bad all over, Lynn. My point was that the actual knowledge only serves to give you another 'thing' on your plate...it was there before, but you just didn't look at it. It changes too much...you have to be more careful than ever. Like Nicole said...the eye of the storm. It gets worse, and if you respond incorrectly, still worse. I still respond incorrectly a great deal. I have told her that she is being immoral, and that she did not end our marriage in an honorable way, but she can't see that...I can't make her see that. My advice is to you is do not let anyone know that you know. You want to show that you are not gullible...you can find things out, and aq whole lot of other things...which do not matter in the long run at all. Its tough, Lynn...but I am convinced that for me, it is the right thing to do. In my case, everyone knows now, and they are starting to do the math, and things do not add up. They noticed the lack of separation, the fact that he spent the weekend with her two days after the divorce...these people may be rural, but they are not hayseeds by any stretch. Like I said, time is an ally, and knowledge does not cut any sway...so you know...so what...that will be their attitude once you 'corner them' with your information. Yes, I want them to admit that they are wrong, but it does nothing at all...just another thing that slides by, and nothing gets done about. That is on them, not me...and certainly not you, either. I am certain that there must be some way you can get your satisfaction in this, but I don't think it has much to do with exposing them, or telling them that you know...I am sorry about that. I really am. Like I said, I want it to be different for me, too, but I can't get it past any 'ecology checks', or 'reality checks', either. (That's a lot of the NLP desired outcome planning, BTW. I didn't call the library, and just got home from work...guess what? I'm the 'donut guy'...I go in at 2:30AM...ouch...four hours from now! Its good, because I did not want to work the register at all...probably will have to at some point...but...I plan on dropping a lot of blueberry muffins...and yes, the pizza does burn sometimes!) BTW, I did not get a hold of the country club guy, I was told to just keep trying. After work, I think I will hunt him down directly. These two jobs meet my stringent walk to work criteria, and hours do not interfere...I'll just have to sleep whenever I can...I do best on a 'sea watch'....four hours sleep between, and four after.)<BR> I also got some 'foreclosure avoidance' paperwork, which is good, and bad. I am still inventorying everything for the bankruptcy...I look to file next week, I hope! It will keep the power on, and the telephone, and give me foreclosure breathing room, so it is important that I get it done...I'm about halfway plus a little done now, which makes me feel good, but still anxious!<BR> Anyway, I am sorry that the post was obtuse...you know me...the first two were great! Except that on my new keboard, the ESC key sticks...which is dangerous since there is no buffer to pull all of it back from when you hit ESC twice!<BR> Well, gotta sleep....then it is 'time to make the donuts.' Tkake care, everyone...thank you for your prayers...I'm seeing a lot of mine answered, and you all are part of that. I do not know how to express what this means to me...you know, the people that know you, and are supposed to help you in these times, can seem very distant...they do to me anyway...but you are all here when I need you, and when I can't be here, too...thank you all. God bless...I'm still praying for us all! -Mike

Mike,<P>Thanks for taking time to reply. I know you are busy and I'm sorry if I just don't get it sometimes. I think a few brain cells may have leaked out with the buckets of tears. No really, I haven't been sleeping again and it is becoming increasingly harder to function. I hate taking pills but I suppose I hate feeling like a walking dead woman even more. <P>I'm gonna tell you something and you are not going to beleive me. You are gonna think I'm just making this up but I swear I'll give you numbers of my co-workers to verify if I have to. All last week, I walked around the office saying "It's time to make the donuts" TOO WEIRD, HUH? I swear, no kidding. Too bad, I didn't say "Time to invent a million $ web development tool" Just thought I would add that. If I hadn't checked out your birthday on the whats your sign thread, I would be asking my mom if I was a twin. <P>Unfortunately I have already let the cat out of the bag at my office. I didn't tell anyone directly but my closest friend there would just got divorced eariler this year from her cheating, lying H. However, I did talk to my mom and forgot to shut the door. The snoops of course picked up on my conversation and put 2 and 2 together. I don't want their pity and I hate that they know but at least now they don't think I'm a drug addict anymore. I've been so non-functional and braindead lately, people are really wondering what is going on. I am still undecided on when to tell him and how much. I know I have to do it. I know it will not accomplish anything but I cannot move forward until the truth is out. I am just too talkative and sarcastic to hold it in forever. I want him to decide and I think I have been very accomodating during the past 4 months. Sure there have been some angry words spoken but throughout this time, 6 months total since the first "I'm not happy" speech, I have been honest. He knows without a shadow of a doubt how I feel. I think it is time he gives me the same respect and comes clean. He may refuse even when faced with proof but at least at that point, I will have some closure. You see, I just can't accept that people are inheritely bad. I make excuses for them. I can rationalize anything and eventually make **** smell good. <P>I need to respond to a couple of super great ladies who also replied to me in my time of need. I think they are on my thread. I sure wish I knew the rules around here.<P>I am sorry that I'm so deep in my pity party, I can't be there for you too. I really want to be helpful and supportive but everything that pours out of me is vile right now. It has nothing to do with you or anyone here. You all are great. I just feel like a big hypocrit giving advice to someone that I can't, no excuse me, WON'T follow myself. Self-esteem is not so great these days, does it show?<P>Good night and I like the raspberry filled ones please. L

Okay, hopefully you will read this after my post in your thread....<P>One of the reasons that I have been talking about NLP is that you actually can get closure without him involved at all. You can just keep the knowledge to yourself. You can change these things...you just don't want to...neither do I, but Lynn...I will wind up a bum talking to a bottle of vodka if I don't...I'm serious. I was about two seconds from packing a duffel bag, and heading south...just dropping my life like my ex-wife dropped me, like Aaron dropped me...THIS IS HARD! So, quit making it hard. Look, NLP takes THINKING....AND DOING...what are you and I doing, except FEELING BAD?<P>Did you ever wonder WHY saome Bible verses inspire you? Most of the Bible is just a boring historical account of a very troubled people/country. (Hell, Israel wasn't even a country until 1947, or so.) So, why can a verse inspire art, or hope, or ANYTHING? Its just words, right? Well, NLP shows you HOW and WHY. It is a model about models...confusing? Think about your last interaction with your husband...how well do you remember it? )Most likely as a series of EMOTIONAL responses from you...he made me feel [pick a modifier]...LYNN, HE DID NOT DO THAT...YOU DID! You need to meet him in his 'model of the world'. This is complex...because it has power for you. Yes, its difficult to pick up, but IT IS WORTH IT. It helps me. Tony Robbins condenses it pretty well in 'Ultimate Power', and 'Awaken the Giant Within'...he is a little too jumpy for me, but he is using NLP. Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy is also NLP. Ther are many things that claim to be a new approach that are also NLP. NLP is not wildly successful for a couple of reasons. It requires WORK...ACTION...THINKING...I know that I just want to assume the fetal position, and let my temporary Turret's Syndrome do my talking...I want to choke the very life out of Rodney...I do...BUT I WILL NOT. I want to lash out at Aaron for throwing things at my house, and calling me a worthless piece of $#i!, and telling me to just die. I want to vomit when I go to make those donuts, and realize why people only make $7/hour NOT doing that job. I want to stand up and tell the IT world...hey, I do this as well as 75% of you...at least...and I know what work is...I want to do all of these things NOW...TOMORROW, and until I cannot go on anymore. But, Lynn....that is a ll wrong...all of it. My FEELINGS are hurt...BADLY...they are BROKEN...they do not function properly...I am trying to remove the 'log' from my eye, so that I might help you remove the speck from yours. This is not working for the overwhelming majority of us the way that we want it to, need it to. I think I just spin my wheels, and thrash about helplessly...I don't want to do that anymore. This is a real answer. I'm tired of complacency....everywhere. I'm tired of automatic solutions that don't work. I had said a that I was tired of platitudes...let me explain:<BR>I love to hear someone console me...because it reminds me of my Grandmother when I was very young...that's why I like to hear it...I don't know any of you...but I do remember her. I love her, and she loved me honsetly, even though I was a little hellion, and she had to watch me when my Mom worked, which was no fun for her. Now, I can remember the 'modalities' of that interaction...how she smelled (Lifebuoy soap!)...how she had a very rough face, and some hair (God bless her, she had to shave!)...the stupid hillbilly sayings, and songs...gettin her a glass of ice water, and hearing her crunch the ice...all in color...crickets crirping...I even feel cold because it is late summer, and that damend ice water is dripping on me!<P>THIS IS NLP...why do I feel good that you are a Braves fan? That is another memory from my childhood...the Braves mean a better time for me...except Rocker...don't get me started on him! It is finding out how you operate, and fixing what doesn't work. Finding a model, and applying it....it gets pretty deep, but it answers some questions, and lets me know that I have had a life...a good one...that doesn't involve my ex-wife, or my children.<P>When my Grandmother died, we all were given the opportunity to take something of hers for a momento. By the time I was asked, most things were gone, but the one thing that I wanted was still there. I took her glasses, and I still take them out sometimes when I'm feeling depressed. It helps. She's gone, but she stills helps me because she is still a part of me. I miss her a lot more than I miss Teri, she meant more to me, and she just died, she didn't leave me, or any of the other things that Teri is doing now. I can't change Teri....Hell, Teri can't change Teri at this point. I will gain nothing by provoking her, or him, or the chicken s#!t friends that watched, aided and abetted, and cannot even face me at all right now. I wanted to tell them off, too...but it just isn't worth it to me anymore. I'm still sad that my marriage is over, but it isn't over again every day. It ended at some point...and I began.<P>Lynn....I care about your pain. I want you to be able to see it from a third party's viewpoint, and see what your 'program' is. I'm calling for the 'Idiot's Guide to NLP' WAIT....MAYBE, SINCE I AM PRETTY MUCH AN IDIOT....I SHOULD WRITE IT!<P>Oh, and yes...WHY DID YOU WASTE THAT WISH ON DONUTS!!!!!! I swear you are like Lucy VanPelt, Lynn...taking that football away....guess what else....the damend donuts are mostly frozen premade, except the actual donuts...and there are no donut holes there, either....what a rip-off! -Mike

Mike,<P>I need to reread your responses but immediately I think I might have offended you with the donut story. It was not my intention and looking back it could have been in poor taste. It was however, true and right now that is what I am focusing on. The truth. <P>I also get the impression that you think I hired the PI to get dirt on my H so he can be punished somehow. I have no intention of punishing him. I simply can not and would not have moved on without knowing the truth. I recognize my own weaknesses and making excuses for people is one of the main ones. I cannot accept that my H is lying to me even when I am told flat out. I have to keep reminding myself that he has made the choices of his own free will. I think I almost had myself convinced he was brainwashed or being blackmailed by this OW. What a crock. I'm weak and I'm scared and yes, I would like to take back control of my life and my emotions. <P>The only way I know to do this is to stop pretending I'm still in a marital relationship with my H. I do not know if he has been making a fool or me or if he is truly confused and doesn't know what to do. I DO know that I can no longer continue to give to him emotionally or physically. It was destroying me. The short term effects felt great but the long term was killing me. <P>I love my H and I will confront him out of love and respect for our marriage. His affair cannot continue. If he chooses to continue it, so be it. I have no say so. Either way, I don't plan on putting up a billboard or telling his parents or anything. This is his decision to make and our decision to rebuild a new relationship if that option is acceptable to him. <P>Hearing he is choosing her will be hard, but I am preparing myself. I just can't help but think the truth is the only way to reconcile my marriage. All the admiration, Sexual fulfillment, recreation companionship, conversation, etc in the world cannot meet my needs without honesty . It will still be extremely difficult for me but at least I will be able to walk away with some pride and respect for myself. I don't have that now. I still turn to jelly when he is around and I hate myself for feeling so desparate and stupid. I am not an idiot by the way. <P>I feel your pain and despair in your posts and I am truly very sorry you put so much into your family and they let you down. If it helps, my brother at about age 17 cussed out my mom and told her to drop dead, just because she questioned him when the cops brought him home after some neighborhood vandelism. He is now a prosperous salesman who makes twice as much as me, without a degree. They survived. She has never forgotten it but loves him unconditionally (he's the spoiled one BTW) and now he can see that his actions were totally out of control. There is hope. Please don't give up on yourself or your kids. <P>As for me, all the plans or methods or models in the world cannot help me unless I know the truth. That is just how I am. I cannot explain it. My H must make a choice. I don't intend to punish him. In fact, I will welcome him back into our marriage, with agreeable rules of course. I am not a demanding person. Posters here have called me controlling, which I may be but I do not make demands. This however is a boundary I must set for myself. As much as it hurts, I think I would continue to go along with this "playing" married thing indefinately too and I would end up losing my career, my friends, the respect of my parents, and all my self-esteem while doing irrepairable damage to my children. <P>I appreciate where you are at now. It has been a long battle for you and I know you are tired. You do seem to have your plan in order and I'm sure you will be fine. You are a great guy in a terrible situation doing the best you can. Who could ask for more? I appreciate your opinions and your honesty. At this point, I have no use for people who only tell me what they think I want to hear. I don't need sugar-coating or protection from the truth. I'm a big girl and I can take it. If not, at least I know God has my back.<P>Please don't think you have to apologize to me for how you feel. There is nothing wrong with how you feel or how you would handle my situation if you were in it. <P>God Bless. PS. I care about you too. Please know that God loves you and you have lots of friends here too. <P>Lynn

((((((((((Lynn))))))))))<P>A lot of the things you say about honesty are exactly how I feel. But I am too scared to find out. I know exactly how to, as well, without a PI. But I KNOW what is going on, without doing that. I'm scared of finding out the truth.<P>I'm scared because like you I would have a lifestyle change, but I would be doing it in another country. Because the minute I have confirmation of his A, I'm outta here, back to OZ, I can't deal with it again (second time, or continuation of the first, more likely). That is too big for me to think about after omly 4 and a half weeks.<P>So I admire your determination. They say knowledge is power. And in your case it may sway things. I hope so.<P>Mike and Lynn, would you please take a look at my most recent post? And Mike any word from EWS???

Okay...and yes, she called...I posted in your thread to her...she has a lot of e-mail, and is working on it. She said that she would post later...<BR>You have got to try this....I'm clearing out my cupboards because I'm broke, and hungry...but its all stuff that 'only Dad likes', so its okay....its a simple recipe...hardly Emeril, but BAM!<BR>take a jar of peanut butter...a can of chocolate frosting, and a spoon....that's it! enjoy...serves 1. -Mike

That's fine by me, Lynn. In fact, reread your post. Very succint, very straightforward. I respect it, and you. I just did not want you to cut off your nose to spite your face...you obviously are not doing that...and you are very in touch with your entire situation...your post shows that. As long as you are that good with it, I support you...and he is losing out big time...IMHO.<P>Oddly enough, your post is a perfect example of doing an ecology check on a desired outcome. Here now is the simplified version in real life of NLP in action. The process that you went through in putting that post together IS a MODEL for an ecology check for you. The 'magic' is in reusing that model again and again in other areas.<P>Finally, I understand your need for truth. I share that need. I once had a rather cold evening with Teri because we were playing one of those games that were popular a few years ago...Scattegories, or whatever...anyway, I was asked if I would tell a person something that I know would hurt them that was true...and I said yes, I would. The question further qualified it as being something that they would find out on their own anyway....like I knew about your H's PA...I'd have told you...That makes me less desireable to my XW...but, hey...who's fooling whom here? So, yes...truth above all else...even personal gain.<P>I WAS JOKING, LYNN. I had to put that in there. Yes, it is too weird, because that's what I've been saying too...'Time to make the donuts'. I ACTUALLY SAW THAT COMMERCIAL ON TVLAND a while back! There has been a lot of that type of thing happening lately. LAst Thursday, Garrett was watching TV, and friends was coming on. I told him about this one episode, and how the guy reminded me of this kid we were talking about...we chatted for a while, and I realized that that episode was the one that was starting. Then, he told me about his friend's parents splitting up (Teri has been talking to her...hmmmm)...and this guy showed up here on Monday night out of the blue....there is more...its very odd, and most pleasant. Gotta go...cats are really annoying me now! -Mike

Mike<P>Hope things are good for you today. I posted my day's story in a new thread., Now he knows I know. It went well. H actually told me I was a good person. <P>I'm glad you were just kidding. Sometimes written words are hard to read with the proper tone or attitude. I was probably just a little oversensitive due to my current state of mind. <P>I actually feel good now that I have made it through 2 lengthy conversations with my H or STBXH, that all depends on him.<P>I must be the strangest person on earth. This AM I acknowledged that my H has been unfaithful, and talked to him about grout in the kitchen floor all in the same conversation. We really are good friends. I will miss him alot if he decides to stay in the affair. <P>Braves just blew the game in top of 9th. I may have blown it today myself, but I have a lot of peace about how things were handled. I dished out no punishment whatsoever. <P>Good night and God Bless.<P>L.

Peace to you both... God IS with you... can you FEEL Him? I can see His touch in your lives guys!<P>Take care!<BR>Nicole<P>------------------<BR><I>The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable</I> ~ Henri Nouwen

Mike,<P>Please don't think you shouldn't share your opinions with me just because you don't like the way I handled the conversation with my H. I'm kind of confused, you tell Gnome that you will not be responding to me because you can't see anything positive in what I did. Then you tell me I did a good job?? I'm a bit confused. <P>I truly appreciate the thought that you provided. I looked at our conversation and did see myself pushing a little too much. On several occasions, I had to say I'm sorry I'm pushing, I'll back off. Once again, you were right that I would like to clear the air all in one day. It would end this nightmare and restore my sanity. However, I do know that is not realistic. Our marriage wasn't destroyed in one day and it will not be rebuilt in one day either. <P>I just had to make the transition to Plan B if necessary. I guess I will know tomorrow what I have to do. <P>Lynn<P>

Nooooooo...I was talking about a whole 'nother thread to GNP...a couple, in fact. I meant that <B>ordinarily</B>, i'd have read your post, and not responded...because I felt that you'd be better off not saying anything about the affair...but, you and I already 'know' each other, so I told you what I think...I've been blasted a few times, and I don't want to offend, plua...I've got no time for more grief in my life now!<P>Pushing is okay, if you have established rapport like I said...its called pacing...sort of leading the horse to the water...and convincing him to drink.<P>I'm sorry that I am not being clear...I have no beefs with you at all...you 'done good, Lynn!'<P>Its Tugfest in Port Byron...a weekend festival involving a tug of war with the town across the Mississippi in Iowa. Plus, I found out I have to work tonight! I haven't seen my sons all week, and I think that they are coming back to town today...who knows. Gotta post a little, and get some cat food...and sleep.<P>Take care, dear friend...again, I have no problems with you at all...you have helped me a lot...Sam talks about you a lot, too...its funny, but he (like any 6 year old) values adult interest in DK (since he loves it so much), and thinks you are a genius...and I have to agree with him. -Mike

Hey friend,<P>Am I getting a bit paranoid or what? I'm just not used to this posting thing yet. Used to e-mail where the subject matter is typical directly at only one person, me. Plus I gave my H the last of my Wellbutrin so I'm flying solo today. I think the ol' brain cells have suffered some permanent damage. All that grey matter is a bit like oatmeal these days. <P>I never intended to cause you any more grief at all. I hope I didn't. I'm truly sorry you even had to waste your time trying to reassure me. I'm just a bit oversensitive these days. I was reading your words and hearing the support and your concern for my well-being. Wonder why that negativity keeps creeping in? I sure hope my self-confidence returns one day, soon! I'll follow your advice on another thread and tell the devil where to go.... Thanks so much and I think of you as a friend too. It feels good to have someone concerned enough to actually want to protect me from my over zealous self.<P>I have considered that my H is lying to me and that I am setting myself up for unrealistic expectations again. I just want to beleive him so bad. Some things I do and some I don't. I'm still unclear about how honest he is capable of being. I TRULY APPRECIATE THE REMINDER TO SLOW DOWN. Never resist the urge to "slap" me back to reality. I need the reality check. <P>Yikes, My D wants me to try to beat the pufferfish. I really hate that thing. Not as much as mad jack but close. It is about as irritating as that stupid bettle race. Always so close, just to be outrun at the end by a smart-alec bug.... such is my life <P>Tell Sam I'm impressed that he was able to do anything in the game prior to having the "book". I have lived and died by that book. It is ratty, pages falling out, etc but I often think back to before we got the book. All I did was walk around that dumb treehouse. I was so naive. Books rule. I thought the whole purpose of the game was to beat the snot out of those beavers on the beach. Who knew?<P>Have you ever tried Banjo/Tooie? Too many characters if you ask me. I'll stick to my bud Lanky I think. <P>Have a great night. I'll try to post as soon as I get some response from my H. He is not working tonight but hasn't called, no big surprise. It is driving me nuts thinking he is in the same house as her. Even if the house is supposely divided for rental. They are still under the same roof. I expect he will say he isn't ready to move. I'm trying to be positive but not get my hopes up. Hard thing to balance. Whatever happens, to God be the Glory!<P>Lynn <P>PS. The Braves are playing more like the Myrtle Beach Mudcats tonight <BR>

Hi Mike, <P>You know I always have to drop on by, even if I have nothing of worth to offer (unless you consider a hug worthwhile!)...<P>Know you're being thought about today...<P>(((((Mike)))))<P>I'm still so glad you aren't dead!

Hi (((((((((Mike,))))))))))<BR>It was sooooooo good to hear from you. Even though I know that times are really tough for you right now, I just wanted you to know that in my opinion, you are the definition of a successful life.<P>When my grandmother died a couple of years ago, I started thinking about what it REALLY means to be successful during our time here on earth. My grandmother was not successful in business or science. She lived on a farm and rarely left it for any length of time. I'm not sure if she left the state of Tennessee more than a few times during her 83 years. But at her funeral, it was obvious that the world is a better place for her having been in it. She made a difference in the lives of the people who knew her.<P>And Mike, this thread should be proof positive that YOU HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE in the lives of those of us here!!!!<BR>I can honestly say I probably think of some piece of advice or opinion that you have written to me or others here almost every single day. I am progressing in my healing due in large part because of you. <P>Well, this is sounding awfully syrupy (if that is a word) but I just wanted you to know how GREAT we think you are!<P>Hang in there!!<BR>Lisa <P>------------------<BR>Character is determined by what you do when no one is watching.

Ditto!<BR>

Gosh, thanks...I was ready to cry posting to poor Jacky in her thread, should've put it in here, but now <B>I feel better</B>. It's just been another trying day so far, and like I said, I had had enough. My new neighbors (moved in in April...just in the middle of D-day proceedings) think I need a girlfriend...yeah, I wouldn't wish being my girlfriend on <I>anyone</I> right now! (They're young, so I said to bring me two 20 year olds!)<P>I found out about yet another divorce in my town today... another 18 year marriage...that's three right now, besides mine...town has 1,000 people. Is is the water, or what? It is just soooo disheartening to see people just give up like this. I don't know if its my proximity to it, or are things just really out of hand in the world today?<P>I have decided that I will do some stained glass work this weekend...I don't care what my house looks like today. I'm tired...working the vampire shift, and trying to wash 6 (yes, I'm still washing my XW's panties...what a treat! I think I may start a fire in my burn pile...that'll get a lot of the laundry done!) people's clothes...inventorying my possessions for the bankruptcy...its all too surrealistic today...gonna do something just for me. cont'd

Hi Mike, you answered my post, so I thought I'd rop in and see how this one's progressing.<P>I echo was the others said about you making a difference...there's some special people on this site, and you're one of them! <P>I know what a lack of support can be like in a sense...even though my post clearly says I have plenty. But I'm how many miles(?) from all my family and closest friends; the friends I have here have only known me for six months (aren't they special to be so caring!) And the family do the best they can with the distance involved. But there is NOTHING I wouldn't give to feel mum and dad give me a hug right now....<P>Take care and I hope the stained glass turns out well!!!<P>Jacky

I spoke to a WAS today...her H stayed here Monday night...saw him leaving from here last night too late to catch him...I asked her to be patient, and that I was talking to him, and telling him to give her space...why do men hear that as 'come chase me?' Honestly, are we totally deaf? I think that I will be the bug in her other ear...Teri is the bug in the one ear...I will not stand by like my so-called friends did in this...she actually listens to me (I know...be careful!), and I think that she wants to stay...but look at Teri...and the other three...whooppee....ain't MLC great?!<P>Last night, I worked with a woman that has been divorced twice, and for some reason, we talked the entire shift about relationships, etc. I opened up like the Red Sea for Moses straight away...we had an instant rapport...It was very cathartic for both of us, and she has learned a lot from the school of hard knocks. She has 5 kids, and her BF has 2, so she knows a lot of what I am talking about from direct experience. She has an edge, but is not bitter at all. Plus, she knows the OM, and his sisters...BTW, the entire town, almost to a person (minus Teri, of course) thinks they are certifiable...great...that really helps when you consider that my sons went across state lines for a week with them! And I am not acting right? Excuse me? Plus, they took Samuel to JP3...that hurt alot considering what happened when I tried to do that.<P>Yesterday, I found a 1099 from the bank showing that Teri was paid $65 in interest on a passbook savings account...that's $1300 at 5%...I think, but hello, I was going down by $560 a month in debt counseling, and in light of what she has done lately, I might have to reconsider my position, and take her to court, and clean her out...not my style, but...I'm being pushed awfully hard right now, and that narrow gate looks too narrow for me sometimes!<P>I figure that I have invested just under $500,000 in my family in the 18 years...that money was very hard for me to come by...I have no degree, and only Air Force, and Navy contractor electronics training...which means I can field strip a Navy Satellite Transceiver System (Done it at sea, no less!), and an F-4E jet presents no problems...but I'm 'over-qualified' to piece together PCs, or stereos.<P>Sam is very impressed that I make donuts, and pizza...what 6 year old wouldn't be...but when he kept telling every adult that stopped to talk to me, I was getting a little embarassed at the looks I was getting...in fact, people I know come into the store, and its a little akward for me. I am being humble, but it still gets to me somewhat. I'm going to NLP this to death, or go nuts trying!<P>Aaron was at his Mother's last night apparently. I wonder what they discussed about the incident last week. An intersting sidebar...Aaron and I never had problems...it was the 'wait until your father gets home' thing that always caused us to butt heads before. Now, they have something in common...hatred for me. AArrrrrgggghh!<P>I was very touched that Spencer thought of me last night. I asked him if he was going to stay here tonight, and he said yes...I think part of it (small) is that XW/OM are very open now, and he stays there a lot. I really wish (no, pray) that Garrett would tell his mother that he doesn't like this...she told me that I was the only one who had a problem with this...well, no $#it, Teri...I guess that I am the only one. They are all falling all over themselves plying my sons with special attention...and not one frigging one of them has so much as called me the entire time. I am broke, and sad...that's no fun.<P>Anyway, I am going to do a cardinal in stained glass, I think. I saw a booth at the festival wherer a gut was blowing glass...simple stuff, but Spencer and I are going to try our hands at it...as soon as I can find a zero-cost way to do it. Unfortunately, I know of a source for some of the stuff I need....OM's BIL...great guy, but not allowed to be my friend any longer. The only access I have to his stuff is through his sons...pathetic. So, Mike is going to become his own reanaissance man here. I need a kiln...got bricks, time, and a shovel...now I need silica sand...can't use the play sand I have, and coal. Not a problem. I'll likely have to but the sand...unless I just mely glass...which is a definite possibility...that's all free...so...by the time September rolls around, I plan to be blowing glass.<P>Okay, gotta go...I feel better thanks much. And Lisa, good to hear from you, too...I read some posts you made, and wanted to say hey to you, too. Thanks for beating me to it!<P>Sheryl....I got a letter from a foreclosure chaser...or whatever, and he called me. Thinks he might be interested. He told me that hw knows my mortgage company...they don't want to foreclose, and he said that a sale isn't realistic for at least 6-7 months. He may be intereseted in buying my mortgage. You had mentioned that you had some loan dept experience (Now, I MUST BE RIGHT THIS TIME! )...yes, please lem'me pick your brain. My mother is not helping. (She is like my friends...I don't call her, so I must be okay, or whatever...yeah, thanks MOM!) Don't get me wrong...Mom is just Mom...that's her way...gotta love her anyway (No, really...she said so!) God bless you all for holding me up...I'm not very heavy, but when its like this, its gets that way, doesn't it?<P>Man, all these ladies in my life...and I'm pining over <I>that one</I>? I need to get a grip, and change my handle! God bless -Mike

ok gang <BR>just had to post. I read this post several days now and never posted. (duh) You all are so close I have been in post with several of you before but, this really touched me. Mike you lucky dog. You are so loved. We all deserve friend love some time or another.<BR>Wishing all of you well<BR>Janet