Hi nonplused:<P>OK, I would agree that there are 'feelings' experienced by the 'giver' of love-the verb, so the expression, love-the feeling, is perhaps too broad.<P>I was specifically referencing the romantic feeling, 'in love', that is experienced between a man and woman. Dr. Harley would describe it as 'A' depositing so many 'love units' in the bank of 'B' (opposite sex), that B begins to FEEL 'in love' with A.<P>Like it or not, that's what makes us FEEL in love with our SOs--the things they do for us. Or, to put it in 'Harley-ese', the way they meet our important emotional needs.<P>It kinda bothers me to see this desire to feel in love maligned as 'immature', 'primitive', 'low-level', or worse, 'sick'. I think the need is always with us, and always strong, though often denied. I think it fits in with Dr. Ellen Kreidman's assertion that, in an affair, the betrayer is not so much in love with the OP, as he/she is in love with the way he/she FEELS when with the OP.<P>Soooooo. The $100,000 question: How do you not only keep the 'love' verb in your marriage, but the 'in love' feeling as well?<P>Hey, I'm still looking for the answer, that's why I'm here!

Doug......<P> I so agree with the love feelings you mentioned and the in love feelings. I think there is a big difference in the two feelings also. And being with the OP you might feel better being with them yes. But I also think in time you can fall in love with that other person eventually. ALthough some might say just being with the OP you can feel so different even if its not in love. Like ya said they can make you just feel better. i to am looking for so many answers in my life.I just want to be happy again and find the inner part of me again. I think in time maybe that will happen. Or at least I hope so. Keep in touch all if ya find any answers let me know.

I too am looking for some of those answers. Like how do you keep someone in love with you. I have been trying to do as many things for her to show her I care but still trying to give her, her space while trying to keep my mouth shut. Almost an impossible task. Still have not found someone to talk to. Our insurance does not have such a program, and I don`t know where to start to look. She keeps pushing me away ahen it seems like we are making progress. I still don`t understand it, maybe I never will. <BR> This thread is starting to take too long to load, maybe it`s time to start another one.

What kind of modem do you have there?