No, my H is a big baby. He did not want to be the bad guy. Honestly, I still think he is going to regret this situation. I gave him all the chances I could muster, and he would not give our marriage one hour of effort. I know that with all the other realities of our fiscal life and our spiritual life, we are no longer perfectly matched.<P>I am not a child any more, and I cannot feel safe witha man that does not plan for the future. A man that does not have the courage to ask for or express his needs. A man that feels his needs are more imprtant thatn the state of our family and our relationship. No--I need security, respect, and a plan for the future, not just day to day--winging it. As if the future will take care of itself without any help from us!!<P>My children deserve better too.<P>I love my H, I always will. I have since I was 18. I always will, but reality exists and that is where I live. I need more from him now and he is unable to to give it to me, or anyone. He never grew up into reponsibilty. I did, and that is where we seperated, even though I did not know it. He never expressed anything negative, and then we were so far from truth, that it could not be recovered without the greatest amount of work. He did not care to do that at all. He is still scared. I love him, but I release him to find his own way. As I must now find my own.<P>But I will always mourn the death of the innocence of untarnished love between us. The end of the fairytale. Just a little, on quiet, gray days when I feel the sorrow that that weather inevitably lays on me. But life is a series of rainbows. New beginnings in colorful beauty and light.
