Oh Elan! So saddened by your comment. I think sometimes emotional abuse is so much harder to handle than physical abuse(although it does lead to the same). Physical injury heals-emotional abuse in any form can linger on for so long, maybe a lifetime. But you know what happens that is so sad? We get hurt by one person and make the assumption, in this case, that all men are the same. They aren't! I understand the difficulty you face, but assume this new guy is like your ex-husband. It's not fair to him. It certainly won't bring you any happiness and it sounds like he is patient and I'm guessing the two of you have a good relationship. Almost every woman I represent(bulk of my clients are women) that are abused saw the signs before the marriage, but of course, they always knew they could change him. Fat chance! If this guy keeps taking you court, some of it has to be frivolous and there are ways to deal with that. You may not like this part, but my philosphy with a guy like that is he's a snake throwing him to the ground is not enough. When he's down, you have to stomp the life out of him. One good hit in court and he probably won't be back. Find the meanest attorney you can and smash him once and for all. By the way, although I charge hourly, you'll be happy to know I break my time down in .2 hours. Sounds like I'm a little more expensive than your attorney. 5 minutes with me on the phone and you get to pay for 12! There is a reason for this, but nobody will care. Nobody really likes us anyway. By the way, you're right, I'm a sweetie, I'm a man, and I'm not like your ex-husband(my guess). We're not all the same. When my alimony time ran out for my former wife she still needed help and I voluntarily extended it even though jurisdiction was not reserved. At least she said she still needed help! Hang in there, Lee<P>------------------<BR>

Lee!<P>Ok..enuf of this! I have to work! ha! Please don't take my posts as a negative. If anything, this man in my life has made me realize that all men are not like my ex. He's kind, patient and will talk about anything. And yes, I agree that relationships have to progress, however not at the speed of light I'm afraid. Maybe I just need to sit back right now and take it easy and enjoy the scenery! He's quite content doing the same! <P>The court stuff will end in it's own good time. They say the wheels of justice turn slowly....but they do turn. Maybe not at the rate I would like them to, but they do. Eventually they will get sick of this litigant and toss the book at him...meantime I live my life. Like you said, one good hit in court and he won't be back.<P>I've enjoyed our banter back and forth. Have faith my friend with your fiance. I think she just needs some time right now to sit and think things out. If it's meant to be in the next year it will be. Until then...patience. Keep me posted ok? As for me I finally believe in tomorrows! For a long time I didn't...but thankfully for the wonderful men in my life (friends, family, past relationships)...I can see a sunrise on the horizon.

Elan, thanks and best of luck to you. I too get to the sunrise on the horizon-her name is Dawn and I love her dearly! Interesting though about the sunrise and the sun-it does move at the speed of light. Take care my friend. Lee