Sorry, double post!<p>[This message has been edited by Nina too (edited September 01, 2001).]

Jacky<P>I am so sorry I did not repy yesterday, the day kind of got away from me. I am here with you and praying for you always. I truly think you higher self has guided you to the right direction. You and your children need a break from all this mess and it is always nice to go home to the warmth and love of your extended family. You will sleep better and maybe even eat regularly! You will lso have days of peace, without worry.<P>You H is still very much confused and perhaps this is the awakening he needs. What ever happens, know inside that you have done all you can to save your marraige and help him through his troubles.<P>I will check in later, we are going out for a while.<P>Love Michelle

Hi Michelle,<P>Thanks for replying now. I know you are there for me, and I think the prayers help. <P>You know, about those guides...when this all began, before he left, I asked them what to do. Clearly the answer was let him go, he needs to do this. And that is why I did so easily. By that I mean I didn't beg, I said to him if he had to do this, then it was okay. I was NOT okay with it, but trying to Plan A. Of course I didn't know for sure about OW at the time, but iy doesn't matter anyway.<P>So now I am asking for a lot of guidance, because I am finding this really hard. The kids are feeling it, ever since I started packing their rooms up. My 4 year old and I had a talk tonight...well I just let her talk. I could not believe her take on this situation...you think they don't understand. She is 'sad in her heart' because daddy won't come home ever again. She keeps asking if I miss him, if I love him, and WHY won't he come back. It is so hard to listen to her little voice crying out for a better story than the one I can give her.<P>So anyway it hasn't been an easy day, and I get so angry at h when the children hurt. I can't wait to get home now, even though the process of getting there is getting me down so.<P>I hope all is well for you Michelle. Where did you go?<P>Take care.<P>Jacky

Nina...I can relate to all that you are saying...I'm glad I found this site...I am new on this situation and I feel lost. I feel what you feel. My H was saying the same thing about our marriage being in trouble for years. I am also tired of this whole situation...feeling alone with family far away. I have 3 kids and we are stationed overseas. I have been feeling angry these couple of days...angry at him for letting this happen to us...I, too, feel my H has always been selfish...only thinking about himself...the anger I feel make me want to hurt him bad...<BR>I don't want to stay here anymore...<BR> I don't know if I am making sense...I just want to let you know I am glad to find someone I can relate to. It helps to share these feelings with someone...

Hi hurtconfuse,<P>Wow, you have a similar situation to me, except that I think I read that you are not actually separated from your h yet.<P>There are a couple more people around who were OS when things went bad, sing is one of them, I can't remember the other.<P>I knwo how you feel being so far away from family and friends at home. That is the 2nd hardest thing about this. But, not that I'm advising you to do this, I am going home on Thursday, for a lot of reasons. He is starting to show some feelings about this, but I just don't think it's going to make a difference.<P>It is the hardest decision I have had to make, because I would rather stay here and try to make our marriage work. But circumstances lately have shown me that he is not all that willing right now. Maybe absence will make his heart grow fonder.<P>Have you read all you can here? If you post on your own, someone will give you the links to study stuff like Plan A, and Plan B, and articles which may be relevant to you.<P>I wish we could give you a hug, but this will have to do:<P>(((((((((((((((((hurtconfuse))))))))))))))))))<P>Do you have anyone there you can confide in? I have two people, and they have been such great supportive friends. It helps to open up to someone if you can, but if you can't, just come here and we will try to be there for you.<P>Take care.