There was a day that I was reading the basic concepts. To get a new perspective on it. He ask what I was and told him the basic concepts. He knew what I was talking about. He said that it was for me and not him now. I think he says these things out of anger and hurt. He is sooooo mad that I was even with the OM as long as I was. I didn't tell him at first b/c the first chance I got I was leaving. Things out of my control forced me to stay there. I told him b/c I didn't want to keep anything from him plus OM made me and I had no other choice then to do it. I know that makes no sense just trust me that I couldn't leave when I wanted to. He is mad about alot. Thinks I have alterior motives behind things which is totally not the case. So maybe I will send it to him. If Ihave the guts to. Thnx JL........Nina, well it was kind of hard to do any Plan aing or bing. To my knowledge I really don't know if he understood it. I think he is plan B'ing. To keep him from hurting anymore. We're both so stubborn. I just don't know maybe he does just hate me. <P>------------------<BR>*THE ONE*

I don’t understand something. Explain what you mean when you say that you had "no choice" and the OM "made you". Made you what? Ultimately we are responsible for our own decisions, nobody else.

DUE TO SOME THINGS OUT OF MY CONTROL THAT I'D RATHER NOT GET INTO I HAD TO STAY WITH THIS PERSON. I WAS COMING BACK HOME TO OKLAHOMA. HE KNEW THAT MY H DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS SEEING HIM STILL. SO HE MADE ME TELL HIM OR ELSE LEAVE. I COULDN'T LEAVE. LEGAL REASONS AT THE TIME I COULD NOT LEAVE THE COUNTY. ITS ALL BEEN DISMISSED. BUT AT THE TIME I HAD TO STAY THERE. THE ONLY REASON THAT I STAYED WAS B/C OF THE LEGAL ISSUE. AS SOON AS IT WAS DONE I LEFT. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD BUT I HAD TO DO IT AT THE TIME. THE OM WAS VERY CONTROLLING, SO I KNEW HE WOULD HAVE KICKED ME OUT ON MY HEAD EVEN WITH MY KID BEING THERE. AND YES WE ARE ULTIMATELY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS I KNOW THIS. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.

I wasn’t trying to offend you. I am trying to help. I’m not asking you to share anything you don’t want to share but please listen to what I have to say. Your H is tired to hearing excuses. It doesn’t matter if there were legal reasons or anything else, he’s tired of excuses. In his mind he thinks you are responsible because of the events that led up to you not being able to come home. I don’t know what the reasons were that kept you there but did you do anything to avoid that? Was there something you could have done that would have avoided the whole situation? Yes, there is. You could have come home when he was trying so hard to show you that he loved you. This is what I said earlier when I told you that you need to be honest. Don’t make excuses, that’s the last thing he wants to hear. Tell him your sorry and all those things but don’t make excuses. If there are legitimate reasons for why you couldn't leave the OM keep them to yourself. The last thing he wants to hear is you trying to justify your actions. Sorry if this sounds blunt but and it’s just one man’s opinion.

TO CLARIFY HE LIVES IN CALI. I WAS COMING HOME TO MY PARENTS. HOW I ENDED UP IN TEXAS WAS THE INHERITENCE OF MY HOUSE. IT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. THATS WHY I STAYED MAINLY IN TEXAS. THINGS THAT HAPPENED WITH THE HOUSE IS WHY I COULD NOT LEAVE. STUBBORNESS AND PRIDE OF WANTING TO KEEP THE HOUSE IS WHAT MADE ME STAY TO BEGIN WITH THATS WHY I DIDN'T COME HOME TO MY PARENTS HOUSE. I WANTED SO BADLY TO KEEP IT. THEN A BUNCH OF LEGAL STUFF HAPPENED THAT HAD TO DEAL WITH THE HOUSE. SO WHEN I WAS MAKING THE ARRANGEMENTS TO LEAVE AND COME HOME IS WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED. SO I COULD NOT LEAVE THE COUNTY UNTIL IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF. I COULDN'T STAY AT THE HOUSE B/C MY AUNT CAME AND CHANGED THE LOCKS. I HAD NO WHERE ELSE TO GO AND COULDN'T LEAVE. I OWN UP TO ALL MY MISTAKES AND I DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. I HAVE NOT DISCUSSED WHY I STAYED WITH HIM. THERE ARE ALOT OF THINGS THAT FACTOR INTO THIS. THAT HAS LED UP TO THIS POINT. ON MY END AND HIS AS WELL. BUT MAINLY MINE HERE LATELY. I KNOW THAT. I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO KNOW B/C AS SOON AS I WAS DONE DEALING WITH ALL THE LEGAL STUFF I WAS GONE. I WANTED TO TELL HIM SO LONG AGO AND COULDN'T B/C I WAS AFRAID OF WHAT THE OM WAS GOING TO DO. I ONLY HAD ONE FRIEND IN TEXAS. SHE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE COUNTY SO I COULDN'T EVEN STAY WITH HER. YES THIS HAS ALL STIMMED FROM ME NOT GOING TO MY PARENTS IN THE BEGINNING. I THOUGHT THAT I COULD KEEP MY HOUSE. THATS THE ONLY REASON I STAYED. AND B/C OF THAT HOUSE MY LIFE HAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. BECAUSE I AM SO STUBBORN I DIDN'T GIVE UP ON IT. THATS MY FAULT.