I have learned that it doesn't matter how thin, built, pretty, or how your hair looks. It is about the emotional needs being met. You should have seen what my H was messing with. PLEEEZZEEE, she couldn't hold a candle to me, but she built up his ego, blah, blah, blah....so when they talk about how the spouse looks, i realize you could be the most gorgeous woman/man on earth and it still won't make up for the emotional needs that we need.