Goodguy,<P>I was just curious. I went to church all my life. Divorce was never my intention and religion is the one thing that always kept me married. I wonder if she thinks of this and what she was taught.<P>If you ever get her back, you guys get in church and live a Christian life. Changes of divorce I would think would decrease by being a Christian family.<P>Anyway, my next question I forgot to ask earlier is this. Why is she waiting til Saturday? Was this just some date she picked out?<P>ANNA<BR>

I don't post here much, but here it goes....<P>I feel terrible for you... its like another knife in the heart... sometimes I would just think.."could you just please hit a main artery and get this over with"<P>Since my ws..now exh divorced me for the OW (w***e) and they're now on 2 years of their whatever you want to call it!! looking back I wish I would have had the guts and courage to kick his sorry butt out of the house... nope not me... I let him hang around...D day was 10/99, plan a'd my butt to death (lost 65lbs.. the infidelity diet) and then he leaves (6/00), mind you he took out a loan right after he left for $2000.00 and took the W***E on a vacation. Then returns and buys his son a $18.00 baseball cap for his birthday... PIG !!! Yes, I have proof, the bank sent me the papers on accident!!<BR>Then he filed for divorce in Sept 2000, he didn't even tell me.... I read about it in the newspaper. <P>I guess you have to do what is right... go with your heart and listen to the advice here... I quit posting long ago... but I always lurk... <P>Where I'm at now I would (and yes.. I was given advice like this too) Pack her stuff and leave it in the driveway or put it by her car....<P>I don't and never will understand how the WS can be so mean.... heck my ex can't figure out why we can't be "FRIENDS" I think he's nuts or he's a alien !<BR>Why..... I told him once, would I want a friend like you??<P>If you're really unsure.... don't do anything, then you'll have no regrets in the am...(like you're gonna sleep tonight)... I have to admit I let ALOT ROLL... it's just so hard and my heart aches for you....<P>Please don't get physical... that could only lead to more problems....JAIL...<P>Don't know if I helped.... it just gets me !!!<P>S

Well I know she feels really guilty about the adultery aspect of ever going back to church. I tried to tell her if she ever is really repentant about it God will be the first one to forgive.<P>Saturday. Well I was supposed to be at a company retreat that weekend. I know she told her mom that she can not face me when she moves her stuff out. That combined with the knowledge that s.o.b. was going to come in my house I told her today that I will be here and he will not. She took it a lot better than I ever imagined. She was well sad/scared. I guess the nice but firm tone I used she understood that that is the way it was going to happen. I wasn't going to give her the previlege of sneeking out. Plus its my way of throwing her out. That's when we got to the point that I will always be here for her, there is nothing more that I want to do than make this work, and that she is always welcome back. I said this over and over so she would believe me. Her response crying her eyes out that I was such a strong and big person and she never thought I would react this way. She then said that that was a comforting thought maybe too comforting. My response was that was a decision I have made and I will reap what happens because of it.

Thanks scoick that really did help. Yeah you know what though jail just might be worth it. HA! Yeah I'm unsure because Dr. Harley knows what's going on and he just said to keep planAing. I think that's what keeps me from doing anything<BR>

Goodguy,<P>Well, I think the reason it is too comforting for her is because if she always knows you'll be here for her she'll always feel like she doesn't have to come back too soon or maybe never. She can just play and have fun.<P>Maybe she'll get out of this fog she is in before it's too late, but if she doesn't soon, I think someone else will eventually steal you away. I know you think now that you will never find anyone that you love as much as you love her. But you will, and the great thing will be that the woman will love you and it'll even be a greater love than what you have with WS, because she will have kindness and gentleness, love and compassion. She would never or could never hurt you like this woman is hurting you. When that happens you won't want your wife back, it will be too late. Someday it is going to happen. <P>You know, I have a feeling if you are just married, you must be in your 20's. Is that true? It kind of makes me feel like your mom. OHMYGOSH!!! A young looking mom. Nawww let's just say older sister, I like that much better. <P>Take care!<P>ANNA<BR>

Goodguy,<P>Just saying goodnight.<P>I am so sorry she had to hurt you like this again. DANG!!! I really don't like her very much.<P>Anyway, I'm going to bed and so I will say goodnight.<P>If you ever need to email me, please feel free. My email is zzanna2000@yahoo.com.<P>Night guy,<P>ANNA<P>

One more quick thing. Next week after she is gone have you thought about possibly taking a weeks vacation and going on a trip yourself.<P>I really think you should get away for awhile.<P>ANNA<P>

Thanks older sis,<P>Yep you pegged me late 20's fresh out of architecture school. In one year I've graduated moved to a different state got married started a career and now I'm getting divorced. WOohoo what a year. You know it wouldn't trouble me so bad but she was always the rock you know. I always felt a little guilty becuase her love for me seemed stronger than I could ever imagine. It's just so out of character.<BR>Anyways, I'm thinking of calling her on her cell just to let her know I know where she is. Too creepy?

goodnight. and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Goodguy,<P>She probably has it turned off and won't answer. Just remember if it gets too much for you, just because you tell her she needs to go, doesn't mean you still aren't plan A-ing in my book, it's just drawing a line and it's all in the way you say it.<P>ANNA<P>

Night and you are very welcome.<P><BR>Now go try to get some sleep to lil brother.

((((((((((((((((((Goodguy))))))))))))))))))))<P>((((((((((((((((((Goodguy)))))))))))))))))))))<P>((((((((((((((((((Goodguy))))))))))))))))))))))<P>Are you still there???

Well, I guess not! I hope you are in your bed, and not back at the hotel...I think that would not be a good move.<P>The thing with female infections is that some of them can indeed be given to you, with no symptoms, and so when she gets one, you may have to be treated too. I had a course of pills for something that wouldn't go away until H took the same pills. I knew what that one was, normal female thing.<P>But I did get a STD which was treated with antibiotics, but I think it was only a one dose pill. You will probably never get an admission out of her about that.<P>What to do now?<P>Well if it isn't too late....jsut tell her in the morning calmly that you know where she was last night. CALMLY.<P>Give her time to say something, which will probably be, how did you find out. I would answer that one with "it doesn't really matter, does it?" She may then try to turn the tables on you, make you feel guilty for spying on her....don't let her have any of that. <P>CALMLY tell her that is irrelevant, and you just wanted her to know you are aware of her continuing betrayals, and tell her this...I want you out ASAP, right now if you can, no more beating around the bush...tell her you do not want to hear from her again unless it is business, until she gets totally rid of OM, and is ready to commit to the marriage. <P> This is of course Plan B, which you need to do NOW GG, because she is abusing you. Not only do you need to protect your love, you need to protect your health. This is NOT good for either.<P>Do not get drawn into an argument about it...after you say that Plan B stuff, go somewhere and shut the door. Do not discuss things with her. I actually feel it is past time to be nice to her. Be firm and calm instead...no nasties, but no nicities either.<P>Later you can send her the Plan B letter.<P>I really hope you managed to get some sleep, and you look at MB before you see her, so you will have SOME advice beforehand. I know you will handle this just right, and we will all be here for you, and will pat you on the back. And if you don't think you're strong, how do you think you have made it this far??? <P>Love, and lots and lots of healing, strength-giving light,<P> Jacky

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goodguy:<BR><B>Okay I have the bottle of pills right here it is <BR>metronidazol. Anyone have an idea what this is for??</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It is called "Flagyl" (brand name).<P>Cant think of specific diseases it is used to treat off the top of my head. <P>But def, an STD<BR>if she needed you to take it at the same time she did. Flagyl is used to treat numerous infections,mostly fungal in nature.(I am a nurse)<P>Wishing you well and feeling your pain,<P>Dara<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Learning as I go (edited September 25, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goodguy:<BR><B>People I need help. I'm so ****ed off right now I can't see straight. I just found WS car at motel. I feel like busting in the door and kicking some OM a**. Please help what should I do.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>GG,<P>This was how I found out my wife was being unfaithful. I know you are not sleeping right now. You are probably sitting somewhere crying and feeling the worst pain you can feel.<P>I'll tell you what I did...but it is not a recommendation.<P>I had her car (our car) towed to our house <P>I told the front desk that I wanted to speak to my wife. My wife wasnt registered at the hotel they told me. So I said fine, then you wont mind if I have my car towed from your parking lot then will you? They checked the register again.<P>Nope shes not here.........so I towed the car home. <P>Long story short...she is still with OM...I wouldnt take her back if she wanted me to (she doesnt). End of marriage.<P>What would I do if I were you? Well, first of all please know that life will get better. Focus on you. <P>Plan B her a$$ out the door...I would say that at this point Plan A needs to give over to immediate Plan B.<P>Pack up her stuff and leave a note on her car telling her that she needs to pick it up on the sidewalk today! Or at her mothers or where ever...I see no reason for you to even have to talk to her anymore unless she dumps OM and returns on her knees.<P>I hate when people get kicked around...and you know by how you feel right now that you have been kicked in a place that you never would have realized hurt so very much..... <P>The heart!<P>Start using all that energy you put into Plan A on yourself. Treat yourself to the best for a change. <P>I know you wont sleep tonight but try to do something that is positive for you and only you!!!!!!!!<P>Take very good care of yourself.<P>Randy <P>

GG,<BR>I agree totally. It is time for Plan B! You have definitely put your all into this. The flaunting, etc, has to stop for YOU! I am so very sorry. I too found out that my wife has something going with OM. Of course, she still denies it in light of the facts (the dreaded fog). I dont think she is dead set against reconciling, so I will continue Plan A. You have do the very best you can. You are worn out. Time to take time for yourself. Embrace this moment and enjoy yourself. Go out with some friends, meet new people, take a break. You must save what little bit of love you have for her. These fogheads really get my goat! The nerve to do this - how do they look at themselves every morning. As for church, they dont go because of guilt. My wife doesnt go at all, now. GUILT. Well, I got news for them. God is a god of Love and vengenance. Know this, sin does not go unpunished. The STD is just the tip of the iceberg. I know we dont want something tragic to happen to them, but unfortunately, God cannot allow sin to continue, especially for a Christian. He will discipline true believers. I worry for my wife. I am afraid she will get hurt or something else. All you can do is live YOUR life right! You have done that. Stand up and be proud, even though it hurts, know that God loves you and is cheering for you!

Goodguy, Be good to yourself first. Life gets better after this. Tell me are they’re children involved in this. If not your life just got better. You need to break off any communication with her. Stay away and get her out of the house fast. You need to move on with your life and that decision once made will be very liberating. You need to remove her from your life the way she has you. Relationships must be good for each other, not destructive. Goodguy be good to yourself and start you’re healing. To make a long story short she is bad news for you at this moment, start working on yourself and then find someone that will make your heart smile. This can happen soon, but first you need to let go and move on. BTW. I’m dealing with much worse and have three children at home, but I am now living for my children and myself I have let go of any emotional feeling for my SBXW. I wake up with a smile and a world of possibilities in front of me. Its wonderful.

Goodguy, are you there, feeling bad all by yourself???<P>Do you want to come here and let us be there for you? Or can you just send us an empty post, so we know you are listening? And that you are okay???<P>I think of you in that house, wondering what's going through your mind, and I guess I want to send you some more love, and more light, because you do need it.<P>If you have the strength, come here and unload your burden. If not, try to send a blank one, so we know you are there...but regardless, look at the posts here from so many different people, and remember this; in all your pain right now, because one person has treated you so, so badly, you are loved her at MB, and we care what happens in your life.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

<P>Jackie, Goodmorning. About time you got here!!! J/K Good guy is probably at work as it is morning here now. He did send me an email last night and I think he's feeling much better. <P>Good guy, I hope you got some sleep last night. You are so strong to be going through all this and still keeping your cool. You have really good coping skills and that will help you as you continue to go through everything. <P>See ya'll later, I gotta get to work myself.<P>Take care Goodguy and Nina,<P>ANNA<P><BR>

Well, I couldn't get on!!!! So frustrating!!!