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#706855 10/30/01 04:49 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 56
A
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A Offline
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 56
My best advice is... talk to your priest or pastor (mine was really understanding, I was surprised since H had been to talk with him first) or maybe a counsellor. Maybe (I hope) if you just give him time he will come around. I do find it hard that he doesnt see his baby. This must be the hardest thing.<p>My situation is very confusing to me. I am two months from finishing University, so I have been applying for jobs. When my husband left, I don't know if I should be looking for jobs in this city (where I will stay if we get back together) or in other cities (because if we don't get back together, i dont want to stay here). So I have one interview here tomorrow. I don't know if I will take it since I don't know what is going to happen.<p>also, I need to give my landlord written notice 60 days before I move out. Since I will be done school December 15, and am looking for a job for January, if I am moving out I will have to move at the end of December, meaning I have to give my notice in two days!!!<p>If my H and I get back together, we would stay here. If not, I will move to whereever the job is.<p>So I have to decide: give notice to landlord or not? Find a job in my current city or not? It all depends on the future of my marriage.<p>BUT... I don't know what I want to do! Remember my earlier post about the five emotions! They are all still there! Do I try and give up and move on? I have not contacted my husband since Friday, the day he announced he was leaving. But I know I could probably get him back, but I do NOT know how permanent it would be. He might stay for a few more months, maybe years, then leave again. In which case, it might involve children this time. Can I survive him leaving me again? Do I *really* want him back?????<p>Should I take a job here, keep the appartment and wait? Or give notice, take a job somewhere else, and get used to the single life again? If only I didn't have to make all these decisions about moving and working!<p>I truly feel for your situation. Yours is much more difficult because of the child. <p>Talking to my priest helped me, I think I will make another appointment to see him. I think you should too. Best of luck and keep in touch! My best friend (who sadly has moved across the country - I am in Canada) said to me that it is important not to be isolated. Even if only a phone call or an email (or a forum).<p>Talk to you soon<p>A.

#706856 10/31/01 08:41 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 116
J
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Member
J Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 116
Hey avatar and everyone thanks for the advice and input..I just still can't seem to understand and i don't know if i want to understand how the stbx can just abandon his so in the least. He doesn't even write or ask how the baby is anytime he writes..We got a paternity test done and it came back OF COURSE it would that the baby is his...He is acting like if he avoids it we will just disapear..<p>Everyone says he will regret it some day but when he does it will be when he has another child...ANd that just angers me and upsets me even more..I feel betrayed and stupid for having faith in him..He gave up on the two of us and i didn't, it just upsets me so much because he is only hurting the baby. And our son didn't do anything he is so innocent in all this he didn't ask to be brought into this world. Sorry i needed to vent i just don't understand how some men can be so uncaring and cold..

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