red2,very true..I guess our spouses forgot that one..<P>------------------<BR>mae

I read somewhere a while back that a study was done on whether or not intelligence correlated with the frequency/desire for sex. The finding: The people with higher IQ's were reported to have less frequent sex and lower sex drives.....I guess I am mildly retarded. lol<BR>ruby

ruby,LOL If a person with a higher sex drive is less inteligent..then ..I must be a total idiot LOL LOL LOL<P>------------------<BR>mae

red2, nothismother:<P>Good point. Not only do we promise sexual exclusivity, but we also promise sexual availability.<P>If a spouse decides they want nothing to do with sex anymore, then that spouse has ALREADY betrayed his/her vows.

Doug,<P>Very interesting point and one I have brought up for discussion many times. In fact, I have a friend who just went through a divorce. He "broke down" after YEARS of little and no sex and had an affair. Now he's the bad guy and she triumphantly took him to the cleaners. Don't get me wrong, I in NO WAY condone his way of handling the problem. The fact he came out the BIG TIME loser is evidence enough that the consequences of such an action is way too great. But the spouse who "withholds" never see what they do as breaking their vows and I think it is. You may have seen in my post that I am one of the ones who is currently less enthusiastic about sex but you will also note that I never EVER say no. And I don't do so grudingly, either.<BR>

Ruby,<P>I have to say you are some FUNNY girlfriend. You are exactly like my best friend. She is funny, passionate, outrageous and keeps me rolling all the time!<P>P.S. I'm "somewhere in the South" also!

Hey Doug<BR>and the rest of you regarding the vows.<P>Wow I never thought of that! I will certainly bring it to my the attention of my h. He really thinks that I would never leave him. I don't want to either. but I really get tire of fighting about this issue. I think he has some type of aversion, perhaps something from his past. He can overcome it at times and of course when he was thinking about us getting married he was ok then. Really we had trouble in the sex dept from the beginning, but when he decided to ask me to marry things seem to get better. So like I said he can overcome it at times if he so chooses. Anyway, I like the position of the vow...."to have and to hold" We said those words and he loved it at the time. Perhaps I will remind him of all that we said.<P>didi

Did any of you read the article in Cosmopolitan about the 9 'avanced' sex positions?<P>Gotta' say, if people are considering these as advanced, then they are really in need of some experimentation.<P><BR>PS- Don't tell my buddies I read Cosmo, they'd do nasty things to me with a fork...<P>------------------<BR>"Remember that every now and then you need to stop and eat the roses."<BR>-Bill The Cat

Ruby,<P>Talk to your husband about your sexaul needs and his. Be honest open and friendly. He's probably just as confused and frustrated as you are. Let him know how to pleasure you. Find out what he wants too. Don't try to do it all right away, just take it one step at a time. As you relax and learn how to please each other agin, and learn how to be satisfied by each other again, then the sex will get better and better. Remember, don't do anything you don't like, just to please him. In the long run that will undo any progress you make.<P>Good luck & have fun.

We have been married 27 years and the sex just gets better for us. There are long sessions with candlelight and music and giving and receiving of lots of oral sex. We use "toys" on occasion for enhancement. And sometimes there are just quickies, that are wonderful too. The only thing I can think of negative about it is that my H only wants it 3-5 times a week and I could have it every morning, afternoon, and evening.(with my H, of course.)We can discuss sex very openly, both during lovemaking and at all other times, and tell each other what we like and what we want from one another. I tell him that I want to fulfil his every fantasy, and there there is NOTHING that I wouldn't do for him. All he has to do is ask. We hold hands when we are driving or shopping. We touch or brush up against each other often when not making love. We have lots of good conversation and spend time together doing other things. He knows how much I desire him and how much I thoroughly enjoy his body. I tell him frequently. And he tells me how much he enjoys me. I have NEVER turned down his advances, even when I had a broken leg with a cast up to my butt, I found a way. When and what he wants, he gets, with much enthusiasm on my part.<BR>But that didn't stop him from having an internet affair and phone sex with an 18 year old girl (he's 45, I'm 46). So what did he want? Someone younger? Was he going through some kind of mid-life crisis? Who knows. I always was taught that a man who eats well from his own table doesn't need to eat from anyone else's. Boy is that ever a myth. <BR>He never blamed me. He said it was all his fault. He is trying very hard to make it up to me. The sex is as good as ever. And we are working on the other issues. But just week before last I caught him "flirting" with a woman on Yahoo euchre. He is now staying off the internet altogether. But I'll never understand why this happened. And that scares the heck out of me, because if I don't know why it happened, how can I fix things so he doesn't feel the need to do this again? Maybe someone out there can give me some insight.