Hi Everyone,<p>well, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be posting this topic yet. I suppose the same could be said for just about the last 2 years.!!<p>He's getting married this Sat. she is pregnant.<p>Whether she did it deliberatly isn't really any of my business, it's done. But I can't help feeling she did. When I asked if he was happy about it, he replied with "I would have liked another 6 months". What a way to start a marriage. <p>I honestly don't know how I feel. I had buckets of tears on Tues night talking to my parents, but have felt ok since then. Almost philosophical (sp.)?? and just sad.<p>I wasn't going to post this, but I need you guys. The girls are flower girls so I have the whole weekend to myself. I'm going to have some beauty treatments, do the rest of my Christmas shopping and then see how I feel.<p>Thanks for being here<p>Jo<p>have to go to work now, but will try and check in from there. The **BIG** boss is visiting today, and I'm leaving early for D's swimming carnival (which he is attending) Lord give me strength....

Hi Jo,<p>I will be thinking of you this weekend. My exH got married to his OW about one month after our divorce was final. My 12 yo D was in their wedding with my former inlaws all in attendance to give their love and support to the happy couple. That was a hard weekend for me.<p>I am fortunate that my exH lives out-of-state so I rarely see him and I would not know his wife if she passed me on the street so I do not have to deal with them very often like you have to.<p>Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and keeping good thoughts for you and your girls. Life does go on and get better if you want it to.<p>Pat [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

(((((((((((((Bonnet)))))))))))))))))))<p>Gidday, mate.<p>I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.<p>If you need a friend over the weekend, just call....<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

jo,<p>My thoughts and prayers are with you too. It sounds like you have a good plan to get your mind off everything.<p>Also, I told Jacky to be sure and invite you to MSN and IM with some us. This may help this weekend too.<p>Take care,<p>ANNA

Dear Bonnet,
I can't imagine what you're feeling, no wonder God HATES divorce - it's domino effects hurt so many of us.<p>Look up Joyce Meyer Ministries on Yahoo search engine - you can play her daily tv programs as you choose - this has helped me TREMENDOUSLY to deal with the hurt and pain in my life and divorce. <p>Her motto?? JESUS CAN HEAL YOU EVERYWHERE YOU HURT!!!<p>I will keep you in prayer and in my heart - we're all here for you, too!<p>Jordan

Hi Barrington,<p>long time no hear!!! HOW THE HECK ARE YOU???<p>Thank you so much for that. For your thoughts and prayers. They mean so much.<p>Only people who have gone through this, and experienced it, will understand. That is why I am so grateful for you guys.<p>I'm sure it will be hard on Saturday, but I have asked no questions, so I don't know where they are getting married, or what time, or what the girls will be wearing etc etc etc. I just think it is better not to know for my own sanity. When I see the photos after the event - well- that will be ok.<p>Nina Too - you may just get a phone call this weekend. I'm going out to dinner with my parents on Fri night, busy all day Saturday and then **maybe** out with a girlfriend on Saturday night. Sunday will probably be recovery day!!! Hope all is well with you, it was so nice to talk to you the other day. I'll probably give you a call tomorrow from work if that's ok with you.<p>Isn't it bizarre that I'm talking to you via the US when we live in the same country!!! The wonders of modern technology. Thank you for your support.<p>anna2000 and JordanMarie - thank you so much for responding. It means the world when others who understand what you are feeling let you know that they are there. I don't know either of your stories, I guess I'm **older** at this than you guys, but thank you so much. I will try and find out as much as I can about what you have recommended. Thank you. You have both helped make me feel better tonight.<p>love and hugs to you all<p>Jo

Dear friend,
I am so sorry you have to pass thru this. I do not know how to pray but I am with you in my thoughts.
My ex (as you see in the signature) is also going to be a father again but yet is not married, till when I don't know, assume not too long.
I had a hope till a month ago when I found out for a baby, now I am aware nothing more can be done.
I thought I'd die, I am alive but still crying a lot. We are at the distance of 15 km but we've never met in the city and i want to stay like that.
When he comes to pick YD I leave the house.
It's too painful to see him knowing it's the end forever.
I wish you occupied weekend cause when that happens to me I think I'll be sad and mad.
It probably hurts so much.
Find friends and don't be alone at home, go to the cinema or whatsever and try to forget what's happening.
Don't question the girls too much (I can't stop questioning).<p>((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

bonnet,<p>I know exactly how you feel. I said to myself: well, this is the last hurt he can inflict upon me, and it was. After that, there really isn't anything else they can do to hurt you - they have exhausted the possibilities!<p>Just another little hurdle to get over, and you WILL!!<p>Try to enjoy your weekend. Prayers and hugs,<p>Desiree

When this happened to me, I stayed as busy as I could. Went out with a friend. Had a great dinner. Tried not to think about it. It was, for me, the end of any hopes, not that I had many but..... So, do whatever Jo needs and wants to do - short of hiring a hit man.

(((((((((JO))))))))))<p>I cried when I found out exH , well at that time H proposed to OW! She can't get pregnant, he's fixed, however, she arranged everything else just right.<p>I know that it's wrong to be jealous, but at the time, I was. I was upset that she got something that she didn't deserve...in my opinion. <p>Yet, now I look at it that they both deserve each other and I hope they get out of their marriage exactly what they deserve, and you know what I think that is!<p>I am trying to get ahold of Bonnie...BonnieSept. Do you have her email address? I lost it when my pc crashed last month, I lost a lot actually, I just popped in today to see if she was around.<p>Hugs, Dana

B & D<p>Thank you for responding to me when you are going through so much yourself. We will both get through this you know. We will.<p>I'm just looking forward to Monday, when it will all be over.<p>RMA - You're so right. There's not really much else he can do is there? We had eldest d's school swimming carnival yesterday. It was horrible. I had to sit next to him and he wanted to talk. Just idle chit chat. I get so confused. I think we should be friends for the sake of the children, but that's good for the girls, and good for him, but not so good for me.... I guess I'm still having trouble with boundaries. I think after the wedding and Christmas, I'll have to have a good think about a few things and sort some new boundaries.<p>Thanks for being there. Gosh, you were one of the first when I first came here, and here we still are. How are you going? I' havent' read many updates from you, I must have missed them. I have blocks of time when I'm away from here.<p>hugs to you my friend.<p>Cinderella - thank you. For saying I can do whatever I want to this weekend. I'm going to have some beauty treatments, waxing, maybe a pedicure. I love doing all that, and feeling so good afterwards. I'm going to finish my Christmas shopping in peace, clean out the toy room (which has been on my 'to do' list forever) and sort out the clothes that the girls no longer wear. Things that have been bugging me for months. On Saturday night I think I'm going out with a girlfriend.
DanaB is right - it is a little bit of jealousy, and anger that he never ever tried to work it out. Just walked away. I guess I now put myself in the 'disposable wife' category.<p>I will get over this too. Thank you for being here, and helping me.
hugs to you too.<p>DanaB - another oldie but a goodie!!! Thank you for being here for me. If my typing is a bit off, I have my 3 yo on my lap. She has just woken up, all sleepy, all full of sleep still and her little morning breath. Those priceless moments.
Thanak you so much, you guys mean so much to me. Even when I'm not here for weeks on end, my thoughts are with everyone.
]Take care of you
big hugs
Jo

Four days after the D was final is when I found out my ex was marrying the OW-no wonder why he wanted the 14 day waiver-Anyways I responded by thowing my keys and kicking and screaming-I mean he just left me 7 months earlier and now he was remarrying!!!! Less than 2 weeks after the D they were married-but not happily-things are getting worse evreyday and I'm hearing about it-tee hee!!! Anyways I didn't start hearing about the getting worse part until last weekend-but I did have to deal w/ them being married-it was tough-its hard when she flaunts that she is the new Mrs.(plus the fact that we live in a small town) but to tell you the truth it really doesn't bug me too much now-life does go on even though you are in the midst of pain right now it will subside. Hang in there!!!

bonnet,<p>I am doing well, thanks. You can be friendly, and should be for the sakes of your children. I guess it is hard to imagine friendship with him. Time will help with this. Isn't it a crumb - the answer to so many questiona asked here is "time", but that is just the truth.<p>The holidays will likely be somewaht rough for you. Also, the acceptance of the new baby - a step-sibling of your own children. Just remember that so many of us here CARE and you are LOVED!!!<p>Later, Desiree

Hi White Dove,<p>Boy - that stinks. Do you get satisfaction from hearing that all is not happy in their lives? I like to think that I want him to be happy, but if I'm honest, today I hope he rots in married hell!!! Not nice I know, but I don't feel very nice towards him today. I feel used, chewed up and spat out. I feel like a disposable wife. When I didn't suit him anymore, he just went out and got another one. Gads, where is all this anger and hatred coming from. I thought I was doing so well. Maybe its the little green monster coming out. I really don't want to get bitter and twisted about all this, but IT IS BURNING MY BUTT!!!!<p>I honestly think I'm going mad today. My head is screaming.<p>Thank you for taking time out to help me here. I think I'll be glued to my 'puter all weekend. I realy will go mad otherwise. hugs to you.<p>
RMA - thanks again. I know it's just time, but it's been 2 years now. I thought I had moved on and accepted everything. Where are all these feelings coming from - or is it just the final acceptance that it really is over. Is it just my way of saying goodbye.<p>I'm so confused about why I feel like this. I think I actually hate him today, with every fibre of my being. I don't think I have ever felt like this, even in the midst of discovery, and then separating. What is happening to me.<p>Sorry if this is waffle, I'm just typing as I'm thinking. It probably sounds like the ramblings of a madwoman - I don't think I'm there YET!!!<p>thanks for being there<p>Jo

Bonnet,<p>What IS the time difference here?<p>Phone me this afternoon, I will lend an ear.....<p>Um, as I write it is 12.11pm here, so maybe you can work out the time difference better than me, and try to call me around between 1.30-2.30pm today (my time). This is the best time for me, as I have to leave the house at 3.15 to pick up son from school, etc.<p>Hugs, mate.<p>Jacky

bonnet,<p>No, there is so much more he could do to make your life H*** if he cared to - much of it via the children. Instead of being your "friend" he could refuse to attend virtually any of your children's teacher conferences or other child-related activities if you are there. He could refuse to be there when your daughter goes through medical tests involving heavy, potentially dangerous, sedation. He could become unemployed and pay little child support leaving his family in poverty. He could hurt your children by refusing to see them more than a few hours a month, by changing visitation plans at the last moment, by telling them that he hates their mother, and that they have no reason to be upset about his remarriage and consequently it must be all their mother's fault if they are upset - unfortunately a remarriage can be just one in a long series of many, many, hurts.

bonnet,<p>No, there is so much more he could do to make your life H*** if he cared to - much of it via the children. Instead of being your "friend" he could refuse to attend virtually any of your children's teacher conferences or other child-related activities if you are there. He could refuse to be there when your daughter goes through medical tests involving heavy, potentially dangerous, sedation. He could become unemployed and pay little child support leaving his family in poverty. He could hurt your children by refusing to see them more than a few hours a month, by changing visitation plans at the last moment, by telling them that he hates their mother, and that they have no reason to be upset about his remarriage and consequently it must be all their mother's fault if they are upset - unfortunately a remarriage can be just one in a long series of many, many, hurts.

Thanks Jacky,<p>I'll do that. However if I don't it's because there's too many people in the office. Are you home this weekend.? <p>The time difference betw us is we are an hour behind you. So your 1.30 is our 12.30....<p>Wacky, same side of the country and 3 different time zones. Adelaide is different again!!! Used to play havoc with my pa's on the aircraft when I went from Cairns - Brisbane - Melbourne - Adelaide!!! Never knew what time it was. Once I didn't even know where we were (that was a long hard day) and we arrived somewhere and I said in my pa "welcome to aaahhhh.... Bangledesh" I couldn't think of anything else to say. Luckily all the passengers saw the funny side of that one.<p>Anyway, have to go and do some work. Thanks for being around<p>Jo

Nellie,<p>I'm so sorry. You're right. He could be so so much worse.<p>I'm just indulging myself in a little self pity -about me, my marriage, me, my faults and wrong doings, and then transferring ALL the blame to him.<p>Not realistic I know, and something I have very rarely done. However today I want to. I want to yell and scream and call him every name under the sun. Let him know exactly how much he has hurt me and our family. And let him see exactly what he has done to me and our family.<p>Of course I never will - that is reserved exclusively for you guys. Sorry that you have to cop it all. I really am. But today I need to be angry. Then hopefully it will all be out of my system and I really can start (again) to move on.<p>You are right about what you said. I do need a kick up the pants because as far as ex-h's go, he's very good. He does love his girls and does make efforts to see them, talk to them, and be there. I will consider myself 'smacked' but please please let me be angry just a little while longer. I promise you it won't continue past today. I'll be back to my normal self by the close of business today.<p>thanks for the whack<p>and big big hugs to you<p>Jo

Bonnet,<p>The weekend is fine, too, I just thought you were very busy, or trying to keep busy.<p>Call anytime...if I am not here, leave a message and I will get back to you.<p>Jacky