Dear ES,<p>I dont pretend to know your whole story, but I have been in that low, lonely place that you are in.<p>I offer the following advice.<p>1. You must fight back and do it sooner rather than later. Honestly you probably wont win full custody ..but go for a reasonable joint custody situation....Every other week perhaps..<p>2. Stay focused on the custody not on the support. If the judge even thinks for a minute that this is about finances ..then you have already lost my friend.<p>3. You must have a lawyer. You simply cannot afford to not have one. And as hard as it is right now...you must pick yourself up and move quickly...because as time goes by the courts are reluctant to change the status quo.<p>4. In the end if you cant get joint custody then at least I beleive you will get more time than 6 days a month...but you must ask for it and remind the court that fathers play a critical role in the parenting of children..and especially daughters.<p>5. In the end if you dont get shared custody..then at a minimum I would ask for every other week, and weekday visits (like from 4pm to 8pm for example)every other night. Ask for a couple of months during summer vacation...and if not that then a couple of weeks for vacation...etc. Also make sure to have holidays defined...yes even 4th of July... Its work at first but once a pattern is set its quite easy.<p>6. Finally, remember and know that you have only lost the first battle of this horrible war...not the war itself...steel yourself and be strong...and fight ..(yes its sad that you must fight to be a good parent) the courts are unfair to men..but that is slowly changing.. Look up custody and fathers rights groups on the net...
Fathers Initatives is one I beleive...
Also Karenna, who occasionally posts on EN is a lawyer but from Calif. who specializes in fathers rights...not saying to hire her but she has a web site that has links to fathers rights groups....Sorry to say I dont have a link for her site but perhaps someone over there does... <p>In any case please take good care of yourself...your daughter needs a strong and healthy dad...no matter what...and she needs love and comfort ..not stress and grief...she will love you forever if you can provide that for her!<p>Take care my friend,<p>Randy
