What is a good guy?

Family Man!! I am shocked that you should ask that question [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>A good guy for me would be someone who respects me and whom I can respect in return. Someone who I can share things with - even mundane stupid little things and he will take an interest in what I have to say. <p>A good guy is:
- someone with good morals
- won't spend every night out with the guys
- will prioritize our relationship
- have a sense of humour <p>uh is that asking too much? [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Uh - Pantha..sorry to surprise ya! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm asking because.. I'm a family man! I tried to focus on the things that were important to keep a happy family..and I was a "natural" giver..<p>Boy did I get whacked! <p>So I'm back to addressing basics.. y'know, redesign..<p>Because I just refuse to go through this again!<p>Thanks for your info..maybe I'll make a list..<p>Dan

Dan [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>That was just my list... <p>Maybe you could tell me what a guy like you looks for in a potential girl friend? Because come to think about it I have no idea [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Pantha

Pantha - I don't know! LOL! I'm not that far yet..<p>I'm still focused on me and my recovery from hell.<p>I'm just realizing I'm not the ( pick a body part between waist and knees ) she has said I was!<p>Right now my list is just someone I can show love to and not have it described as "actions..tasks.."
I enjoy showing affection!<p>Hmm..and likes taking trips, beaches, skiing..and eating out..and cuddling..I love cuddling..Hmm..<p>Now I'm thinking.. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Dan<p>Oh yeah - no cheating with short, skinny salesguys! Loyalty is sexy.<p>[ February 11, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>

Hey Family Man,<p>Unfortunately some people can't RECOGNIZE a good guy (or girl) when they have them, i.e. our WS.
Doesn't mean you're not one! Don't let their unreality become your reality. <p>Keep true to your self, your morals, your integrity and don't settle for less in others.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O

HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>
I am RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>I want to find a nice Catholic girl to settle down with me and have a whole passal of kids....................where are YOU?

Dan [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Cuddles are always nice! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I guess its good to have list of things we think is important in a partner so that we can be on the lookout for those things in the future. <p>I am sure you don't believe what your W said about you being whatever... you're one of the good guys from what I can tell. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Pantha

This is an interesting thread. I get caught up in the whole "I don't really know who would be interested in a 32 year old mom with 3 little children" thing, and haven't really stopped to think about what *I* would be looking for. I do know that there are now things I wouldn't compromise on when considering remarrying - honesty, loving my children, loving God, preferably Catholic, kind to me, interested in spending time together as a family, someone who won't cheat, someone who isn't inherently selfish.....<p>It's funny how the my list in college didn't look anything like this. And it wasn't as negative, ie "someone who won't." I guess that is what divorce does - it takes out the innocence of love and marriage, or at least it has for me. It isn't that I'm distrusting, or think I can never love someone again, but once I vowed to love someone for life, I meant it, and then when that person changed his mind, it left me betrayed. <p>I may have put a protective shield around my heart, but I've decided to wait to date. I've been divorced almost 5 months, and separated for 7 months now. It has been nice for me to see that I am not so desperate that I will grab at anything - I've had a few chances to date, and I've been able to see that was not what I am looking for. I guess if the right person came along, I might consider it, but it is easier for me to decide I am just going to concentrate on my children and be the best mom I can be for them. <p>Good luck to everyone....<p>Who Am I Now (Krista)

Hello all,<p>I understand your post and enjoy it thoroughly! I have to tell you that odds are, the guy of your dreams is the one you won't give a second to. It is easy to complain about the lack of decent men, but to be honest, it is the pre-qualification test that we tend to be subjected to first.
Rich? Ten points.
Average? No points.
Handsome? Ten points.
Average? No points.
Full Hair? Ten points.
No hair? You lose, goodbye.
In shape? Ten points.
Not in shape? You lose, goodbye.
Wonderful sense of humor? Ten points.
Average sense of humor? Zero points.<p>You get the idea. I believe that one of you posted about the large guy that wanted to walk you to your car. Exactly my point, he was instantly disqualified because of what, appearance. I suppose that your appearance is also just perfect. How do you know that that guy is the one that could make you so happy that your eyes popped out?<p>You might want to take a look at what you pre-qualify men on and see if there is a chance that nobody that would want you could qualify.

As an addendum, I met and married a 30 year old woman with three kids. She was one of few that gave me the time of day. I was never the kind of guy that inspired that 'pitter patter' of your little heart. I wonder if it could be that the guys that can inspire your little heart are also the ones constantly seeing how many other little girls' hearts they can fire up.

Hello, spt_fl:<p>I agree with you whole-heartedly! If a man is not perfect physically, rich, smart, and, we now know from the EN board, in posession of a large penis, he does not stand a snowball's chance.<p>Thank God I have all of that and more!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Whoa! That's not necessarily true....<p>I really don't put that much importance on how a guy looks....as long as he's attractive to ME! It's not just limited to outter appearance either. It's also about how he acts, how he interacts with others and how confident he feels. I think that's one of the keys...for men or for women....confidence.<p>In fact, I don't WANT a guy that is stunningly good looking....who wants every other woman in the world hitting on your guy? Not me.<p>I do want a person who takes care of themselves overall...in a very general way. I actually like rather interesting faces...i.e. Lyle Lovette. When my STBXH developed a pot-belly, I really didn't care! And one of the handsomest men I know is bald!<p>I find that woman, on the whole, are much more accepting of a man being a little "less than perfect" than men are of a woman. But, maybe that's just the women I know.<p>Anyway, that's just my two cents worth.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O

Where to find men?
Start playing golf...start at the driving range...they can't wait to correct your swing. Most golfers at least have to be able to afford the game and are retired...so income is not usually your problem.<p>Borders...at least there you know they have a brain and can read.<p>VFW...retired veterans love companionship and have fun dances.<p>Military bases always have activities for that are looking for volunteers.<p>I'm 46, 3 kids, reasonably attractive, couple extra pounds, and broke off with SO for 2-3 months after Dday...had more dates then then I did in college...it was a lot of fun.<p>Don't look for a potential mate..look for a friend.
Don't expect perfection...or it will be expected of you.
Be open to some different and new experiences.
T

LOL at vb_guy's post<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I agree with Ms O's reply to spt_fl. I would much rather meet someone who is not going to attract every other women in the room.
In fact most of the items s_f listed as zero pointers I would rate highest. I'd much rather be in a good relationship with someone who is "normal". Too much of anything is well...too much. <p>VBGuy doesn't count, he may have too much of some things but that's a good thing. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I really liked what ChapterII said, it gives me hope that not every guy is looking for miss perfect. And it shows that some men really do mature. <p>ASM [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I love those uniforms, but I'd be careful of the active duty boys. They tend to wander.<p>Um, V B Guy, if you are rich and smart and cute and have a big one can I make dinner for you sometime?<p>Elizabeth

Folks, one of you may be the exception to the rule, but I have watched it time after time as women are drawn to these same disasterous guys. I have known guys that have two or three women fighting over them at any given time and how much respect do you suppose they have for any of them?<p>All I am saying is that odds on, you know someone that probably could make you very happy, but you keep walking by him every day. You just might want to slow down and re-examine the reason that you have written someone off. <p>VB_Guy, by your name are you implying that you are a coder?

Hello, spt_fl:<p>I am a coder. visual basic, implied by the name;<p>ms transact sql, a smattering of c & c++.....looking to get into all the .NET stuff.<p>to all you women out there...I wonder....if I were not in posession of those qualities I listed, would you be interested in me? I don't think so. From what my female friends tell me, I should do ok in the single world, but I do not want to be single.........................

I know of one good man looking....<p>Ive been told by my STBX that I was too nice...
hmmm...what does that tell ya...