Hi good people,<BR> Sorry I've been away so long. I have tried to reply several times in the past week but for some reason my replies would not post. I hope they do today.<BR> To answer a question or two, Lucks wanted to know about the law suit money. Is it for my disability or an accident?<BR>All of my disability is due to a chemical that was in the water system in the town I grew up in. Can't say much more on the subject until the money is paid.<BR> My H is a very self involved man. He is cute and charming and knows how to manipulate oh so well. He's been doing it all his life, practice makes perfect.<BR>Since we found out about the money and had a fight or two concerning it's control, he went back on the road and twice he came home for a day or two and we didn't fight at all. It was like the knowledge of money took the presure off some how. Oh he was so happy telling me of his dreams and what he'll do when we get it, and I let him, even though I have decided I will not give him control. He may get some of what he wants but it will be up to me and my adviser, should I find one.<BR> It was so wonderful getting along with him and he was being so sweet and loving, and I in return. We were in love and it was beautiful. Then yesterday on our way to pick up his paycheck,(a 35 mile ride) he said, Lets go buy a puppy!<BR>I of course told him all of the reasons why we shouldn't. And you wouldn't believe the change that came over him, it was awful. I almost cried.<BR> I said we need a fence. He said we can't afford a fence right now. So I said we will get you a puppy when we can afford a fence. He hollered and yelled at me and spent the rest of the trip there telling me how selfish I am. He went in to get his check, (blessed relief for 5 min.) then came back to the car boo hooing about how this is the first time in his life that he hasn't had a dog to be excited when he came home and follow him everywhere.<BR> I told him I know it would be nice for you, and I love you and of course want you to have it, but you have to look at the whole picture. I can't keep up with a puppy, it's too hard for me to go down the stairs to tie and untie them, this is where he breaks in and says, You go up and down those stairs all the time when it's something you want to do, like take your daughter anywhere she wants, or go shopping, but you can't do it to tie up my dog.<BR> I tried to explain I can't keep my balance and control a puppy while going down stairs, and then reminded him that it would be easier if I had railing. He said well I told you I will put a rail there for you. I said, I know you said you will, you tell me and tell me but it isn't there is it? I was getting angry at this point. (You have to understand that this is after about 45 minutes of being told what an awful person he thinks I am) I told him if these things were true, and this is realy who I am, it's no wonder he doesn't like me. I wouldn't like me either. He said I'm selfish, selfcentered, hateful, wont do anything if it will make him happy, and I'm lazy on top of that. Too lazy to make my way downstairs to tie up his dog. Whether it breaks my leg or not.<BR> By now I was tapping on the rearview mirror saying he should look in the mirror when he talks to himself like that. Because he is guilty of these things, not I. (no I'm not perfect)<BR>Then finaly on our last leg home I said listen. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I will do. I will Love your puppy, I will play with it, I will feed and water it, take it to get shots and medical treatments if need be, and I will tie it up when I'm on my way to go someplace. And last but not least, I will cry and be sad when it gets hit by a car. Because I will not sacrifice getting a broken leg or worse to tie up your dog if I don't feel up to it.<BR> Then he shot into this speil about how we are supposed to sacrifice any and all things to please or help the other.<P> I've got to tell you folks, I quit after that and refused to even speak another word. He kept on though until we got home.<BR>There is more to this, I'll tell the rest later if you like. We later that night had the same sort of fight about haveing this child he [censored]-u-me's he has a right to. <P>Note. When you assume, you make an<BR> [censored] out of U and ME. get it?<BR>Love you all,<BR> Shawna <BR> <P>------------------<BR>

The Policy of Joint Agreement will not work in this marriage. I won't be able to buy my mother a birthday present without his blessing, but he can spend thousands, even buy a house (yes he did)<BR>without mine.<BR>

Oh you lovely people,<BR> I just discovered something. All this time I am posting a reply, going back later and its not there, so I post it again.( And I said I don't want to be redundant ) Now I discover where it tells how many pages this topic has and you have to click on the next page you want to see. I'm sorry. No wonder you quit sending me a reply, You must think I'm stupid.<P> I will go now.<BR>Thank you all,<BR>Shawna<P>------------------<BR>