Oh MANNN!!! Ya'll are crackin me UP!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>OK. the lawn mower thing... funny that you all brought it up.. I have my own lawn-mower dilemma...<p> I have done lots around here since XH left... this weekend I've been digging on this IMPOSSIBLE hill in my back yard... but little by little I'm getting it landscaped to match the little picture in my mind [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>A couple of months ago I paid the next door neighbor $20 to finish the screen door that XH started and never finished [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . I guess I could have figured it out, but knew he could whip it up in 1/3 of the time.<p>Now, on the lawn mower thing. It won't start. Pull and pull and pull, and nothing. H couldn't start it last fall either. Someone told me to change the spark plug. You mean they have spark plugs?? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] ok... so I loaded it up in the back of my ROdeo, gonna take it somewhere tomorrow. I'm not afraid of mowing the lawn for the first time - just can't get it started!!! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I would ask the neghbor to look at it for me, but sheesh! I hate for him to think he has 2 wives!! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Yay ladies! We can do it!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

You GOOOOOOO, Jo!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>What a cool post!<p>Can I tell my ex story? Okay, I thought so... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>He had this truck that wouldn't run ( [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] This happened SO many times in our lives) that sat on the side of the yard for about a year (or 3, but who's counting? LOL) and one day I got sick of it being an eyesore out there, so while he was at work I decided to push it into the side yard out of street view. But, the transmission was stuck in first gear, so it was sluggish to say the least. It took 3 hours, but I pushed that stupid thing across the front yard and into the spot I'd chosen. You should have seen his face!! He couldn't believe it. They never can believe it when we do MAN-things!! LOL LOL LOL [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

You gals are very entertaining. I thought of starting a similar thread for things we guys have figured out, but the only thing I could think of was "stopping to ask for directions." [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>WAT

Ok LH, I think that's a great idea to add to the list. In fact anyone could add their "tips" tho the list. Who knows it may prove valuable to all of us. <p>#1 The telephone line does have a small charge running through it. (don't strip the wires with your teeth!)<p>#2 Never check the oil with the lawnmower running!<p>#3 Never check to make sure the spark plug wire is secure...with the lawnmower running.<p>#4 Never change the O ring in the faucet without turning off the water at the meter.<p>#5 When by-passing and electric clock on a stove, never, never tape the two wires that came off...together. If you do, make sure there is enough room to get out from behind the stove.<p>#6 There is an E-clip that holds the drum in your dryer, you don't have to remove the screws in the back of the dryer...very hard to get back in.<p>#7 The dead man switch on the lawnmower must be engaged for it to start!<p>I'm not really stupid, I've just learned some things from experience! (this was when I was much younger, I am much wiser now)<p>I claim this scripture, expecially when the task seems impossible, and have to say He has never let me down!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.<p>It seems that lawnmowers are somewhat a challenge!

Sorry LH I neglected to give you credit for tip #7.
LTF

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong>You gals are very entertaining. I thought of starting a similar thread for things we guys have figured out, but the only thing I could think of was "stopping to ask for directions." [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>I figured out how to put a new roll of tp on the little dispenser thingy instead of leaving it on the back of the toilet. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TinyDancer:
<strong>YAY Jo!!!! Women rule! A man and 5 of his buddies would still be in there with a case of beer discussing the reasons why you don't need an area rug under the bed LOL. No offense guys [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hey, I resemble that remark but I must make one tiny point of clarification. 6 guys with only one case of beer ain't gonna get nothin done. Presuming that this is atleast a queen size bed with a rather nice head/foot board. Personally, I would start with 2 friends and 1 case, after discussing all of the finer points of the move and griping about it for a while we would then add 1 other friend and another case. So I say it's atleast a 2 case job.<p>MD - Michele<p>If you have mastered scrambled eggs you are ready for the big time. Cooking and trying new things is a blast. Just remember the golden rule of cooking, especially if ya got any young ones that won't wait for a meal. Keep something quick and easy as a back up for when you really mess up. I would love to believe that I'm on my way to Chef-dom but occasionally things happen and I know that I'm only 8 minutes away from a frozen pizza.<p>
So what have I had to learn to do in the almost year that I've been in bachelorhood.<p>.Hmmmm...........<p>Bout the only thing I can think of is I've had to write my name down all around the house so I don't forget it because there's no one there saying:<p>Bill, get you @$$ in here<p>Bill, go do this<p>Bill, go do that<p>Bill, do these jeans make my butt look big<p>and on and on and on and on

"Bill, ... are you on that friggin computer again???"<p>I was truly laughing out loud, Bill. Thanks!<p>Gawd, I use to ask my H the same thing about the pants thingie. How funny ... !<p>Love,
Jo

I don't think I ever asked x if something made me look big. I just bought almost everything at one store and they didn't lie to me. But that was back when I was a DINK.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>"Bill, ... are you on that friggin computer again???"<p>I was truly laughing out loud, Bill. Thanks!<p>Gawd, I use to ask my H the same thing about the pants thingie. How funny ... !<p>Love,
Jo</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Oh, I can't leave my digital buddies alone for too long.<p>OK Funny story, About 4 months after we divorced, my X came over to my house to sort through some property. We had some pretty good conversation then here it came:<p>Idiot Girl: Billy, do these jeans make my butt look big<p>Me: (Thinking to self standard answer No dear you have a nice little butt then letting the truth out) No, Idiot Girl, your big @$$ makes those jeans look big.<p>FINALLY, after 12 years, THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

BILL!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] ROTFL!!!!<p>baaadddddd!!!!!!<p>tee-hee!!!<p>OK, but guys, have you learned how to leave pretty guest towels and soaps in the guest bathroom, and make sure no one uses them??? There's the real test to see what you've learned!<p> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Me: (Thinking to self standard answer No dear you have a nice little butt then letting the truth out) No, Idiot Girl, your big @$$ makes those jeans look big.<hr></blockquote><p>ooooowwwwwwwwwww! That had to hurt! You should be ashamed of yourself! Hehehe! Well really she asked for it! If they want us to be honest to a fault then they shouldn't ask us questions that they really don't want answered honestly. <p>What have I learned? Hmmmm? Children aren't as easy to rear properly as I once thought. But I get to spend more quality time with them than I did when I was living at home. Hard work but rewarding!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith1:
<strong>OK, but guys, have you learned how to leave pretty guest towels and soaps in the guest bathroom, and make sure no one uses them??? There's the real test to see what you've learned!<p> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>
I can't say that I've done that. My budget only stretches up to practical efficiency. Anything beyond that is only a dream. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Plus, I have no guest bathroom.<p>However, my culinary skills have become good enough that my daughter told me that she misses my cooking when she's with her mom. I took it as quite a compliment from a finicky teenager. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by LostHusband:
Idiot Girl: Billy, do these jeans make my butt look big<p>Me: (Thinking to self standard answer No dear you have a nice little butt then letting the truth out) No, Idiot Girl, your big @$$ makes those jeans look big.<p>FINALLY, after 12 years, THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.<hr></blockquote><p>Or get you killed! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm thinking killed!<p>I never did ask that question.<p>Thanks for the vote of confidence Bill. H did tell me while I was cooking the eggs that I may not want to use a fork on a non stick pan in the future. I didn't know it mattered. I was trying to be efficient and not dirty up more dishes. I guess I have a lot to learn still. If nothing else, I'll lose that last ten pounds in a week or so.<p>Michele

ROTF!!!!!!!!<p>This is SUCH a great thread, Resilient!!!!!<p>Okay, when I moved in here, I had the lawnmower problem too...couldn't get it started. Well, it had been in storage for two years and a half, so I thought it was rusted or something. FIL came around one day and the darn thing started FIRST TIME [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] !!!!!!<p>So I got my dad to give me a class called Lawnmower 101 and after that I became an expert. I just know all the ladies will KNOW the feeling of starting that thing for the first time!!!!!!! I was in heaven! And I told EVERYONE I COULD ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!<p>Anyway, I had so much confidence I went out and bought a whipper snipper...those weed eaters, weed whacker things; petrol driven inventions from he!!.<p>Same story ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!<p>BUT, even though I have had the Whipper Snipper 101 course from Dad several times, I CANNOT start that @&%#&%#*&^*^# thing!!!!! I even blistered two fingers on my hand pulling the damn chord last time I tried. Not to mention I got a nice floaty feeling from the petrol fumes [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] !!!<p>Well, success stories I have had...hmmmmm.....I fixed D's bed. Somehow the legs went missing in our storage, so I had to go buy new ones. Fixed the letterbox here, cos some doofus beforehand had used the wrong screws on it, and it kept falling off the post. <p>OH!!!!! Here's a biggy!! When the piano FINALLY arrived from overseas, I needed to move a large sideboard into another room, move two large lounge chairs into a storage shed in the backyard, and change the entire room around, including large book case, two large sofas, etc etc. How did I do all the heavy moving??? My darling kids helped me, and they loved doing it!!!<p>My next two jobs, once I am well, will be repainting the outdoor furniture, and stringing more line on my clothesline (Hills hoist - you saw them in the closing ceremony of the Olympic games, guys). <p>YES!!!!! We can ALL do it!!!!<p>Oh, whoever wanted help with the cooking...eggs can be spiced up by adding a little onion and green bell pepper...delicious!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love, light and laughs,<p>Jacky<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Nina too ]</p>

my duck tape story, or the girl's version.<p>there is screen loose on my screened in porch, I wasn't sure how to fix, can't replace, so out come the hot glue gun, so far it is holding, of course this summer it might melt but for now it is working<p>I have the lawnmower thing down pat, the house came with lawn service [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jo, love the thread,<p>Bill, you crack me up

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I have the lawnmower thing down pat, the house came with lawn service [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
<hr></blockquote><p>Now you're talkin! How do I get some of that? LOL<p>Actually, I have a bag of fertilizer that I'm afraid to put on the lawn. Doesn't it make the grass grow faster? Oh no, here comes my H's voice again. "You'd never be able to push that mower through our St Augustine grass." sigh I suspect my pleasure at proving my H wrong will wane as the temperature rises and the grass gets thicker. Lawn service sounds realllll goood. <p>Bill, you're bad! Bad bad bad bad bad!! I love it! Hey, it's the truth, right? I doubt your x liked it much, but it's the best laugh I've had in a week.

Hey, I found out how to keep curtains clean. I took them all down!

Bob,<p>What are curtains?<p>One thing I learned to do without the X, well that I can write about here, is that I found a great way to iron shirts and pants. Throw them in the dryer for 10 minutes and put them on hot. I know there is an iron here somewhere, just not sure how it makes everything come out looking so nice and crisp. There seems to be some type of work bench that has to support said item. Maybe I will look into that after I get the lawn mower started. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Helpful hint gang, Duct tape and WD-40 fixes everything.