Desiree,
thanks for the reply... no need to change the locks, that is already done, the agreement is suppose to be that when we exchange the children, we just open the unlocked door, let the kids inside and their suitcases, That way there is no contact between us, she takes is alitte futher comes inside to kiss the kids good bye so that she can have some exchange with me... Hopefully my e-mail will remind her of the agreement, if that doesn't work I will reference the section of the seperation agreement that states we canot enter each other dwellings without a written inventation.<p>You are totally correct, she has no reason to come back, Fun with the OM, family and FS from me.
As I said this is all coming to an end, I haven't paid her alimony in 2 months now, insurance will terminate at the end of May, that will cost her atleast $300 more a month. Working on a court date, that will cost her a few thousand dollars too in legal costs. My lawyer wants me to go for full custody because she has not been taking the kids for 50% of the overnights.... not sure I want to take the kids from their mother but she is not being much of a mother either...<p>So.. tough love.. no financial support, no contact when we exchange the kids, I have gotten over the need to call ( that was extremely difficult, I use to look at the phone and cry and finally give in and call... I am beyond that now, I just distract myself when I get these feelings) She called me this AM, I let my daughter answer it and hung up when she was done speaking with her.. not sure why she called, probably had a need for some type of support from me.. any other suggestions?<p>Thanks
Dave<p>Tough love it is!

davepr,<p>Sounds like you are on the road to doing what needs to be done. I understand how hard this is for you. It is hard to step back and let he person you love, the mother of your children, go. You are doing the onoly thing you can, at this point, to help your marriage. If you have done a good Plan A, now with Plan B, you are putting the ball in her court.<p>You are a good person, davepr. It is admirable that you would want legal custody of the children. If you think you are the more stable, more dependable and better parent, then do file for custody. Your W may not object, as it appears she has them as little as she can right now. <p>As hard as it is, try to put your efforts and your energies into being a better person vs obsessing about your marriage. I know you are sad and deeply hurt. But the only progress you can effect right now has to do with you and nothing more.<p>Wishing you peace and happiness, Desiree

Desiree, thanks for your support...<p>Regarding the children, what is more concerning is that she has called me twice since Feb asking for me to come and get the kids before she hurts them, that is a major problem, since then she went on Paxil so hopefully that will help, the kids love their mom and I would hate to take them away from her but on the other hand it is my responsibilty to do everything in their best interest... I spoke with her Dr. I have know him for years, and told him what happened, he did not believe that she was a danger to them and that it was good that she could call me to ask for help and the fact that she knows when she is getting too stressed out to handle them.. I have recently changed jobs to reduce my travel so that I can be more available to them. (something I should of done years ago, money is certainly not everything, another life lesson)<p>I have made alot of progress with myself but it is a never ending cycle of continious improvement...<p>STXW called again aroun 6:30 pm yesterday, I let it go into voice mail... I thought that maybe she was reaching out ( my glimmer of hope) but I know that reality she is more than likely calling to complain about something or ask for money.. it is never good so why would this time be any different.. she did not leave a voice mail and I did not call her back... I am learning... it is like sticking your hand in the bug zapper, eventually you learn to stop doing things that hurt you.<p>Take care,
Dave