Hi All,<p>Just some news some might find interesting. My Ex just filed for divorce and left his wife who was the OW to me after only 14 months of marriage. They hate and can't stand eachother. Sad thing is I should get satisfaction from this but I don't. Seems like all that pain and hurt we all went through was for nothing. It actually just pisses me off. He has tryed to lean on me for support but I can't and won't give it. I have moved on and am very happy where I am now. I have a very good relationship now and a new life. <p>So for all of you who are dealing with spouses or ex spouses who are getting married to the OP chances are it won't last long.<p>Jill

hehe<p>WSXW to marry OM in September.<p>I hope you're right, for my daughter's sake.<p>Kevin

Dang Jilly ....<p>This is like the 6th Thread in the last 1+ mos that has stated the marriage to the OP crashed.<p>And what I find most interesting is the WS looks to the ex-BS for solice and comfort. <p>What's even MORE interesting, is most BS's have moved AHEAD without them (WS) and they even feel empathy for THEM (WS)! <p>Harley certainly did his homework, the BS does become a success story whether ending in divorce or recovery.<p>Thank God for MB, is all I can say.<p>Love to you JB.<p>Jo<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Hi Jill,
Boy what a surprise! I bet you did not think you would be posting this information 9 months ago.
My exH and his OW-wife are still, by all accounts, going strong 16 months after their wedding but who knows what the future will hold. My exH and I do not communicate at all except for an occasional email so I hear very little about their life together.<p>I am glad to hear that you are doing so well. You sound like you have serenity in your life. My life is very simple - my job, my daughter, and my cats (and a dog soon). Even though it would seem boring to most, I am content. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.<p>Pat

I know a lady (L) whose husband left and moved in with his OW. After his divorce with L was final, it wasn't long and he moved out from OW's place, dated some others, then quickly married another woman...who has now moved out on him after only a couple months of marriage! This whole series of events happened within a year. L says it is hard for their kids to have all this shifting; she is strong and doing well, takes no joy in the X's troubles, and also is not surprised by what's happened to her X. <p>It's like these WS's try on others like garments, then eventually end up having to face themselves anyway, huh? Harley is right.

Wow--it's something we all think about. My divorce will be final very soon. I know that H will marry her. FOr some reason, I have this gut feeling that it is going to work. That makes me sick.<p>I am glad that you have moved on and are in a good place in your life. I know that I am going to get there too. I do admit that I hoep and pray everyday that a wall builds between them. I want it to fail...I am not even sure that I want him to come home anymore. He seems to have changed his values....and what he wants out of life. All of this is very sad.

Wow! That was fast! I remember when they got married--that was about the same time that you changed your screen name, I think. Right?<p>So he's come back to you for comfort. Amazing, isn't it. He felt that he could live without you before!<p>I feel like you do--if my husband had been sucessful in completely ditching me for OW, and they had gotten married (I can see that lasting for about two weeks, two self-centered people trying to gleen some kind of happiness from each other. After the sex got old, they would have no longer been soulmates)<p>Well, if he had married her, like I said, I would never ever take him back. Sorry. When you blow out a match, you can't light it again.<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Bernzini ]</p>

Feeling So Alone,<p>I have this sinking feeling my ex-H and OW will last too. Even if the problems become insurmountable, they'll do it just to prove a point to everyone.<p>My ex-H was VERY ashamed at one point that his sisters knew he had done this TWICE to me. He felt it definitely pointed to him as the problem area, so making THIS time work is very important to him.<p>What is it he answered when I asked months back if he was going to marry OW? ... "I don't think so, I see a pattern here. I certainly don't want what I did to you to happen to an entire family, I can't hurt an entire family". <p>Grrrr, so it's okay to do it to just little ole' me, since I have no family at all, but not to a bevy of people. ughh!<p>I'm with you, Berni. That's one bell that can't be un-rung.<p>Sorry for hijacking your thread, Jilly.<p>Jo

Jillybean,<p>WoW!! to say the least!<p>I feel alot like FSA though and feel that somehow WH and OW will make it!! Perhaps because I've been told so many times that it is her that he should've married! UGH!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I've TOLD y'all that you CAN'T build happiness on other peoples' misery. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Or as is more commonly said here in Texas-<p>Payback's a b*tch.

Hope that my WH sees this one. He and his Mrs. X try to get together and get married. Look at these posts SNL, look at what is gonna happen to you. As the statistics show that people in affairs (liars) won't have a good marriage. When the honeymoon is over, it is over for good. You see the real person for who they are, you see the person for the faults they have. SNL look at what you have here, look at it close.<p>Affairs that turn into marriages, are false happiness. They are euphorias and fantasies, that finally crack and crumble.

Hey All,<p>Just adding to the story a little. To me the best part of this is they were still living together up until last week, when he, on Tuesday, waited for her and her kids to leave for work and school then him and my son and a bunch of friends cleaned out the house. He took all of the living room furniture (leather) The tv, stereo everything. So when she got home all that was left was a lamp in the middle of the living room floor and the divorce papers on the table. What is so funny is that she had filed for divorce that week and was going to kick him out that coming weekend. Anyway I have to laugh because that is exactly what she did to her live in boyfriend when she left him for my EX. Besides she is still living in my house. The house she couldn't wait to have. So now let her choke on it. When you mess with a married man you deserve to get burned.<p>Jill

Dang! She lived in YOUR house ... what a preditor. What is it with females anyway? Why would someone want someone else's home ... that's creepy, let alone wanting someone else's HUSBAND. <p>Just Amazing!<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Hi jillybean,
Well, I must say those of you that post things like this are amazingly mature and compassionate to feel some sympathy. I guess because its the person you once loved. But me, I must admit to loving these posts and wanting to cheer because it shows the full cycle of these relationships. and those of you that think your WS and OW will last... well, never say never.

Jill,<p>I just noticed this thread. I had just got through asking how it is going on a post you wrote to me... <p>I am glad you aren't letting him lean on you. That just seems so low. I have decided there are people out there who only care about there own pain, their own feelings their own happiness and I think your ex and my ex fit in that category....the selfish people category.<p>I can see how you would think of this as a bitter-sweet victory and how it would seem like all the pain was for nothing too...<p>Take care and I hope you are doing well with your new life.<p>ANNA<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Wow, so many oldtimers [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well, my divorce was final in January and my x got engaged to the boyscout 3 days later. They're getting married in 2 weeks (I think).<p>While I'd love for her to get to feel all the things she made me feel, I'd much rather just have my son out of that relationship.<p>And I too have moved on....

Great!
What goes around comes around - seems to be truth, sooner or later.
But like FSA I also think that my exH would stay married with OW forever cause here came the baby BOY - he is realy a man who likes his kids.
They are now married 4.5months and their son is exactly 3 months today.
And what 's the worst our yd is going to live with them from June-she adores her little brother, father and even OW.
But I still have hope that one day.....although I am not sure what would I do in such a case (22yrs are sooooo long, more than a half of my and his life).
I am still waiting and believe in thinker's words.<p>One more time: wonderful news
D

Hi Jilly,<p>I guess we are in another club beside this one now. Our x's are now 2x.<p>How are your kids handling this? Last night I took my d shopping for Mother's Day and she was getting a gift certificate for her mother and the clerk asked what name would go on it and my daughter looked at me, asking what name she would be using now. I told her she would be using her married name.

I wonder if it's crossed anyone else's mind that the reason these new relationships are failing is not bad Karma (well, ok, it is in a way) but it's because these people learned nothing about relationships the first time around and are just making the same bad decisions with someone new. Isn't that much easier than actually working to make a relationship better?<p>
Am I on to something here?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by franklymydears:
<strong>I wonder if it's crossed anyone else's mind that the reason these new relationships are failing is not bad Karma (well, ok, it is in a way) but it's because these people learned nothing about relationships the first time around and are just making the same bad decisions with someone new. Isn't that much easier than actually working to make a relationship better?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I think it's a bit more than that, actually. Not only has the WS failed to learn from the problems in the first marriage, but the new relationship is rooted in faithlessness and built with guilt and self-deceit.<p>As for it being easier to "start over" with a new romanticized relationship than to bear down and work on the old established one...<p>If you are standing on the top of a cliff, which is the "easier" way to get to the bottom: climbing down one handhold at a time, or jumping off and "flying" down?<p>In the short run, flying seems easier and a whole lot more fun. Feel that wind blowing through your hair, and that delicious sense of freedom? On the other hand, if you include in your consideration what happens after you reach the bottom, you just might come to a different conclusion...