Hi Wallace,
I have been gone this week but want to let you know that I do believe you will begin a healing process with this behind you. It will be hard to switch your focus but if you are as dedicated to getting on with your life as you were to trying to save your marriage, you will be better than fine. You have a lot of pain but you also have a lot of wisdom and fortitude. I will continue to keep you in my prayers during this transitional phase of you life. God bless and thanks for all the times you've helped me along the journey. I only wish I was as far along as you are now.
Free

Hi Free,
It's good to hear from you... I hope everything is working for the best for you concerning your situation.
Thank you for all the wisdom that you bring to these boards, and all the sound direction and advice you have given me... try not to be too much of a stranger.
It is different, going from being married to being divorced... but I've pretty much been divorced in all respects for at least 6 months now... it's just legal now.
There are the up and down days... I don't think a day goes by when I don't at least think about my exW at least once a day... usually it's quite a bit more than that.
That part of it, I think I'm going to have some trouble with.
I hope you and IHABD are getting some good communications through "IM"... it always helps when you can tell someone what you have happeneing.
Stay in touch.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi IHABD,
If you and "Free" want to get my MSN IM address let me know or email for that matter because I'm usually on the go after I get done with work.
Let me know and I'll figure a way to get you the info.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

<small>[ November 07, 2002, 07:46 AM: Message edited by: Free Again ]</small>

Hi Free,
Got your email address. I'll write you my MSN IM address.
My evenings are pretty hectic so bear with me, if you don't hear from me right away.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi gang. Still in the land of the living. I have not been able to let go afterall. Very down these days, feel lost & alone & like doing NOTHING at all. H moved out Oct 1st & is working on papers for Divorce. I feel it will come soon with no dismissal this time. But last time he slept on floor these whole 10 months & stayed out every night only coming home at 10:30 or 11 to sleep and was cruel & fignting with me if I ever tried to talk to him. After the surgery, he had been quieter but still no effort from him to save our marriage at all. he clearly wanted to be free to be with that slut though he denies everything.

I am so lost and empty. Can hardly stand it. I have gone back to my 2nd part-time job so I am hardly home much. When I am, I just stare at the walls. I am hoping Cajunky's Wednesday prayer group will bring some help my way! as well as to all of us! Well, I gotta go other work now, so bye for now. I have to catch up reading another time.

Hi ATW,
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
You have been through so much, and I understand the feelings of being lost and empty.
It does turn your world upside down... make no mistake about it.
Having two jobs is probably good for the time being... keeps you busy, but it can start to wear you down over time... especially with everything you have going on.
Glad to hear that your getting involved with Cajunky's prayer group... prayer is by far the most powerful thing you can do. Give it all to the Lord and let him lead your way.
You may want to see if there is any Divorce Care support groups and/or Church groups you can become involved in... it helped me tremendously.
You have been on the rollercoaster ride for so long now, you need to look for ways to try to get off that ride... at least for a little while... it will really help you if you can.
Blessings always.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Got this on an email. I thought it to be helpful, maybe it will be helpful to you guys too.
Free

Psalm 51:10 (King James Version); Read (Psalm 51)

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Purpose: To understand the functions and purpose of our spiritual heart.

When the word heart is mentioned, we think of the organ that is located in our body, that has life-sustaining power, and throughout time it has caused an air of mystery to surround it. As Christians, when we hear the word heart, we should think about the spiritual one, the spiritual heart that has soul-sustaining power, and it has caused an air of mystery to those who do not know the Lord. Unbelievers possess a heart of stone, a cold heart where no spiritual life can be found, Psalm 14:1 says, "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God." This lie can only flow from a person who has no spiritual heart.

A human being's heart is about the size of that human being's fist. As the body develops, the heart grows at the same rate as the fist. If our physical heart grows as our bodies develop, then why can't our spiritual heart do the same? We have adults, walking around with spiritual hearts that reflect that of a child. The older we get, the more mature we should become, and the more spiritually mature we become, our spiritual hearts should grow along with us. A child might not quite understand what love means, but as adults, we should be able to love our enemies. The heart, like other body parts, needs oxygen in order to grow and develop properly. How are you allowing your spiritual heart to grow? David asked God to create in him a clean heart, and to renew his spirit. We have to recognize the fact that without God, we cannot develop our hearts the way they should be. ! So, praying for a clean heart is the first step, but what are other ways we can develop our spiritual heart? The word of God, helps us to develop our hearts, for Psalm 119:11 says, "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." When you have the word inside your heart, when times get rough, and the winds begin to blow, you are able to withstand the test of time. You will be able to fight the enemy simply by knowing the word of God. Did not Jesus resist temptation by quoting the word of God to Satan while he fasted in the wilderness? (Luke 4) By adulthood, the heart is fully developed. Unlike the physical heart, the spiritual heart always has room to grow and improve. We can all be more loving, we can all be more caring, we can all be more forgiving, and we can all be more kind. Like a pumping machine, the heart provides the power nee! ded for life. For Christians, the heart provides power needed for everlasting life, and life eternal with God. The heart's structure makes it efficient, and during its life, it is an never-ceasing pump. What is your spiritual heart structured around? Prayer, the word of God, love, and Jesus are good things to structure your spiritual heart around.

If God created this heart, why do we try to hide things in our hearts? Psalm 7:9 says, "Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end; but establish the just: for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins." God knows our hearts, and he searches our hearts, what will God find in yours? The spiritual heart is vital, Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." The heart deals with all kinds of issues in this life, and if you are not careful, you could overwhelm your heart, but turn it over to Jesus, and everything will be alright. You just have to try him for yourself, some people only give God some of their issues, but I Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." Turn it over to Jesus!!

Finally, if you want your heart to be healthy for the rest of your life, doctors suggest that you exercise, follow a good diet, and keep your heart clean, and drug-free. This is a good prescription to follow, and the same can apply to our spiritual hearts. Exercise by loving people, being kind, and following your heart as the spirit guides. Follow a good diet by keeping worldly things out of your heart, and feed on the word of God. Learn how to spiritually filter what goes in, and comes out of your heart. Lastly, keep a clean heart, through prayer, ask God to create one inside of you. If it worked for David, it can work for you. God is looking at the sincerity of our hearts, and he knows exactly what's in it. This should encourage us to continue to allow our hearts to be purged and circumcised. Have you had a change of heart? Amen.

Hi Free,
Thank you for posting that. After reading this... it only shows me that I still have plenty of work to do.
I'll be in touch soon.
Stay Strong!
Wallace