Let us Try - The wisdom to know the feelings. Good statement, hard to realize. Yes, getting through the dumped feelings is hard. Been really difficult when I heard my stbx call me a f*c*ing b*t*h so many times. Like Phil Mcgraw on Oprah said, when you say to your child that they are stupid. It takes a 100 positive comments to get the 1 negative comment out of their head. Same with the adult. It takes many many admiring statements to get the one out of that persons head. That is where I am, cause SNL isn't willing to tell me that I am a good person enough. He will occassionally say it, but what happens is we get in a discussion, and the FB comes out again, or go to Hell comes out or moron comes out. I don't feel safe with his words anymore, and therefore I am feeling low.

Good statement you said, thank you. REally am working on myself. Love in God.

cry2much: I, too, am a f**king b**ch according to my XH. I know, without a single doubt in my entire body, that that it is not true. It was his way of getting at me when he couldn't think of anything else to say. It is verbal abuse, pure and simple. You are not an FB either-you are being verbally abused.

Additionally, vent here any time you want. We will listen. That is what this board is about; to get things off your chest, get the support you need, and feel better about yourself. It is going to take a long time to get over these feelings. My divorce was final three days ago. I expect another couple of years to get over that feeling of being betrayed and "dumped". Hang in there; you are a great person with a lot to offer.

Hon, when he says those thing I just want you to consider the source. Of course he's going to lash out at you, you're reminding him of his responsiblities. I know you can't ignore it but try to keep perspective on it, he's not in any posistion to be making judgements against anyone.

cry2much, I was not only a f***ing b***h, but, while I was on the phone with Steve Harley mind you, he screamed at me calling me a, "simple c**t." Steve recommended divorce (not just because of that). I've also been called a lot of other nasty names, many, many times, he's threatened to kill me, smashed up my house, and I'm responsible for just about every awful thing happenning to him and there are lots since he started drinking and using drugs again. I'm also sending him a paycheck for doing nothing and paying his rent at an expensive condo where he lives with the OW (since we own a business together, it will be part of the settlement).

Honestly, I've been where you're at. It's not for lack of horrible experiences that I tell you that there's nothing you can do about anyone but yourself. You are NEVER going to receive validation from SNL. In Al-Anon they compare it to going to the hardware store to buy bread. If you don't change yourself, then nothing is going to change. You need to take a risk, leave SNL behind, go find cry2much. Where is she?

I recommend reading posts on GQII on ACCEPTANCE from BrambleRose. There's a lot of good stuff there, no need to repeat it here.

Take care of YOU.

LetSTry and Cry2Much: Seems like there are a lot of f**king b**ches on this board. Can't these guys think up anything else to call us? I guess we all married husbands with no creativity!!

Well the creativity was used on the OW in Arizona. SNL was creative in calling her loving names, I heard him call her munchkin and I love you so many times.

Anyways, SNL took our one daughter and her boyfriend out to dinner and the movies. See how unfair this is, I can't do anything like that, I don't have the money, but he can just call and say you want to go to the movies 2nd daughter. Take your boyfriend and dad will pay for everything. I hate SNL, I hate him, I could throw up on him. I am home cleaning house, trying to get things thrown out, and boxed. He can go play and have fun. He is such a jerk. A selfish brat jerk. He doesn't care about me, doesn't care about the hurt, doesn't care about anything except what pleases him.

Anyways, there I vented. I wish God had told me how this was going to turn out 24 years ago. How SNL was going to spend money secretly, and still hording money, checkbooks don't add up, and SNL is stashing the money away.

I had my MRI done yesterday to see if SNL gave me a torn rotorcuff in my shoulder. Or what is causing so much pain. I should beable to call my doctor Tuesday to find out what is happening. I don't know, I feel like dieing and just giving up. Life is so unfair, SNL keeps procrastinating on this discovery, admitting to his sex with the other woman, and etc. This is costing so much money and he can just sit there and act so powerful and demanding.

Anyways, just another day, nothing great happening, just trying to get rid of memories of SNL. I am burning pictures of our wedding. It is a way to release my anger, and vent to God in why he is allowing this to happen. Maybe I will destroy all pictures I have of him, maybe not. Would be nice to throw Debras picture in the fire with him. Since they both committed adultery, let them both burn in hell together. Guess I will go, this is so UGLY!! LIfe is a sh*t sandwich (mother-in-law) is saying that so often, cause SNL has really got her in a bind too. SNL you are nuts, a thoughtless person, a person with no morals, a person who is selfish, and uncaring. GOODBYE to you in the fire <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ August 30, 2002, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: cry2much ]</small>

cry2much,

Yes, you are indeed a loving and caring mother. How can you possibly see yourself as a castaway or refuse? Probably because I see myself this way also. This whole self esteem/dumped thing is also a daily struggle for me in moving on. Not really the dumped thing, but I am so totally confused as to my identity now. Was a wife, and mother, but now I feel like an alien life form living in a sea of Beaver Cleaver households in suburbia. Yes, I've even noticed the strange looks I get sometimes like tonight when I took my four year old son out to dinner. We were @ a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant seated at a table. Around us were three other married couples. I am an attractive woman and it made me feel very uncomfortable tonight. I caught at least four times one of the husbands staring at me when his W wasn't looking. The other two wives were sitting beside each other chatting privately and their H's were sitting together doing their own things..The women stared at me, my small child, and my hand obviously noticing the lack of adornment upon my ring finger. The younger couple, my age, sitting closest to us actually said that "your son is so sweet and well behaved. It must be hard doing it all by yourself". They were so nice and sweet and it seems either I am a threat somewhat to the married women or I am an object of pity to the kinder hearted married folk..I don't want either. I can live by myself and am learning to just be happy by myself now..I don't need anyone else, muchless a man with lots of baggage. I've been the denied and betrayed one, so married men, don't even try, and I don't want pity because I get up each day just like everyone else and put on my shoes one foot at a time and go to work to earn an honest days' pay..Ok, this part of the vent is over now.
But what is strange is that others do not regard us in that way at all.

I prefer to say that I am a "denied wife" b/c he just looks for newer and more exciting women to conquer. Yes, conquer b/c he likes to be in control and I decided that I should take the wheel now. He like yours, justifies every action he has made from exposing our son to his OW, to lying, to verbal and physical abuse as well when I uncovered his web of deceit and it had to stop. Do I miss him?

Like I said earlier, he's not at all the man I married. The man who used to, when we'd be walking, walk on the outside closest to the street to protect me from any harm. My goodness, I wouldn't even know what protection, love, or compassion from a man feels like now. Sometimes I wonder if I dreamed this good part at all...

But I am going to vent some anger I've been feeling and say that let's just expose to the world the vicious excuses and horrible lies these WS's tell anyone, tell us, tell our children, tell their parents, tell our ministers, tell our friends and coworkers just so they can have peace of mind when ripping precious families apart...

I've absolutely had it..I am outraged at the notion of "lack of friendship" or "we just grew apart" or "we were never meant to be" or "the EA has nothing to do with our problems". B..S..t! It is a huge, stinking, dirty, rancid pile of poop that these feel good psychobabble counselors and new age wackos want us to understand/believe..If we can just "let go" of this situation, then we can grow with our x's and be "friends" and "discover a new way of relating" and "be supportive parents but separately"...

Families break apart because people want them to and place their needs above the precious needs of their family...Affiars cause divorce and pain for many years to come, and it doesn't matter if the husband or wife is the greatest looking, most successful person in the world, if they are the betrayed spouse, they will hurt and hurt like never before. Placing one's self above their loved ones is probably the number one reason for divorce. Affairs are selfish, sensless acts of egotism and narcissism. They say that 50% of marriages are affected by it; I am going to live in the other 50% that say to the adulterous 50%--GET A LIFE; GET A SOUL; GET IT RIGHT WITH GOD!

MB's isn't just a site for those who work it out, it's a place for us who believe in families, faithfulness, and love. It's a way of life for the brave in heart. I was so scarred about announcing to the folks here about my filing and point of probably no return in my marriage, but instead today I feel stronger..I didn't ask for this..My son didn't ask for his dad to leave..We were just RATIONALIZED AWAY..

I change my vote. I now decide to say if someone asks me about "what happened to your marriage", I will respond that MY SON AND I WERE JUST RATIONALIZED AWAY".

dumped yes

But wouldn't it be nice if it were movie magic - ruthlessly dumped out from a fast moving vehicle into the canyon - however, before hitting the ground, the dumped turns into something wonderful and flies upwards...... soars into the beautiful clear sky to concur the world <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

May all here soar with the eagles and find their dreams!

As dumped down the canyon, what if we did not touch the ground and flew up, we were attacked by harrowing arrows and dodging for our lives. Soaring up with peace and happiness would be great, but I feel like the rest of us that we are soaring up fighting obstacles attacking us. We can't rest, can't breath easily, for our eyes are searching for the next arrow or obstacle that may hit us and end our soaring to become cast away and hit the ground with a THUD!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Seems that men like SNL only look at their marriage with no memories at all of fun, happiness. You can see in all the posts he posted, he was never happy. He doesn't remember the good times, and still doesn't. He only sees me as a woman that he used, I guess, for breeding. As far as I can tell, he sees me only for the kids we gave to this world. He states over and over, he stayed until the kids were mostly gone. So if one feels casted away and thrown down the canyon, look at what they have had to read about their spouse. The person they married and had history with. As he states about history, so what? What is history? Nothing, means nothing to him, means words, means time, but forget all that and lets move on to another woman.

As far as being dumped, I was! Yes, I filed first for divorce, but it was forced upon me, it was survival for my life. I only filed, because I couldn't take the name calling anymore, the anger, the balistic actions, the degrading of me and his mother, saying the kids are useless and etc. The police said I should file, this man is in rage, and is going to hurt you easily if given the opportunity to. I said to myself he won't hurt me again, but! As they stated, SNL did hurt me again, slapped me, and shook me after the damage was done by the first go around. Yes, he states that I started everyone of the attacks. So I guess I am the bad person. When does he realize that he is responsible for hitting a woman? When does he realize that a man over twice the size of his wife, should never, ever, ever, put a harmful arm on his wife? Like stated earlier, it is never okay to hit a woman, it is okay to disarm her, but never take power over someone under 1/2 his size. A man should never touch a woman in any way but with loving care. I am realizing that SNL does not look at himself for his actions, and does not want to accept that he might have an anger problem. Through counseling, various counselors, they have stated to me, that this man is a powerful man, and to watch for signs of anger. Hitting, using manipulative words, and etc.

Yes, to go out with your 4 year old son could cause eyes of men to wander. Stating you are an attractive woman. Go out, have fun with your son, look attractive, but if a man looks your way, look at his wife, then at his eyes, and then back at his wife. Maybe he will get the clue that he is suppose to keep his eyes on his loving wife. After all she is the one wearing his ring, and she is the one that gave her body to him.

WHile SNL and I were supposedly trying to reconcile, I caught SNL looking at woman up and down. The whole family was out to outback steakhouse, SNL was not in the conversation at the table. Kids asked him question and he said huh>? I followed his eyes, and he was looking at the waitresses up and down. Caught him at the grocery store looking women up and down. I hated it, and SNL has done in the past. A man can look, but when they seem to be focused on a womans body and not his woman, that is rude, and hurting the woman by his side.

If a man gave a quick glance and that was it is different. But when they look and look, and seem focused on that body, that iswhen they have crossed the line. I feel like he was undresssing here right there and exploring her body.

For the record, I have looked maybe at a dozen men but not in that manner. I waited until their eyes were searching elsewhere, and I looked at their bodies. But secretly and for a slight moment of time. Not like undressing him, just to see the tightness of his body, and the slimness. SNL was never slim, he is a big man and wore sloppy clothes most of the time. He was not made to wear tight clothes, his body is built stocky and the proportions are not for tight fitting clothes. He will never look good in tight clothing, body proportions are not built that way. Even if he was to lost a great amount of weight. It would be like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Some men can wear tight clothing and look good, and some can't. So to see a slim man, with tight jeans is different.

Well, just doing the same crap today. Cleaning the house, just working around here. Seems that is all I can do. Not working, not physically able to do much, but clean and rest. That is all I do, is work for some time and rest and then work some more. A boring life, a life that is repetitive. Unable to go to the bookstore and buy, unable to take the kids out to dinner, unable to spend money I don't have. Have to pay off a big bill, so my settlement money will have to be used. Well, all for that money, down the drain. Seems SNL has used all my settlement money, and once again I will have nothing to my name. SNL wins, big TIME!!! Has his affair, has his money, hording money, and leaves me with nothing. No caring no nothing. Leaves me to fall down the canyon and not look back. Just like the pushing me outside on the grass and gets in his truck and drives away without looking back or caring.

DUMPED!!????Oh yes, big time!!!

You are going to feel like you are "dumped" as long as you allow yourself to feel this way. I know, I was "dumped" and divorced years ago.

Bitterness, felt sorry for myself, anger, tears..it's all part of it and unfortunately the more you dwell on all the unfairness of it all, the deeper you sink into the "dumped" hole.

For me, stopping self-pity was the first step..yeah, it's not fair..so quit dwelling on it and go make a better life. You want to go to school...find a way to go to school..sink your energy into THAT rather than re-living the past. There are grants, student loans, you may even qualify for assistance from the state..but go check it out.

If you're still bogged down in D court and lawyers going back and forth, tell them to get on the ball, get this settled fairly so you can get on with your life. The sooner the D is final, the sooner you have someone you hate out of your life. Won't it be lovely to live without that!!

Yes, you may have to live with pain..I went to school, and worked for 3 years with a torn rotator cuff before I could afford to get it fixed...that's not fair, but it is life.

Count some of your blessings..181/month is not much for child support, but, I'm confused...you aren't working..so who is paying the house payment, utility bills, medical bills, therapy, insurance, car payments? At least you have that..many who are in process of a D do not.

C2M, it's not that I don't have sympathy for your pain...I do..I was there..and that is why I can say do whatever you have to to let your STBX and the past go. Because, it is not helping you, it is hurting you.

You are now the only one in control of the type of life you will live...take control of it..build it into something you are proud of and happy with.
T

I am trying to get a hold of my life. The hardest part is my self-esteem. SNL has for years, criticized me, was unable to do many things without his okay. As far as school, will look into it this week. Saw my massage therapist for my shoulder. It is such a mess, painful and the therapist said it will be quite awhile before I will beable to go to work. I took a nap today, because the pain was so bad, didn't sleep well last night, so told the kids I needed an our nap. They were very kind, kept things quiet, and I woke up refreshed. Unable to sleep on the right side, something has really happened to my shoudler. Massage therapist did manipulation, but is unable to hug myself without the excrutiating pain. Iced and heat the shoulder today.

Yes, I am pitying myself. God this hurts, and SNL did it to me, and he can live his life happy and free without pain. Unfair, you betcha. Like I said earlier, the betrayed gets screwed by their spouse before the affair, during the affair and after the affair. I am still getting screwed everyday. Lies keep coming forward and this hurts like heck.

Trying to move ahead is so hard, when your selfesteem is dwindled to nothing. Not much there before the divorce, with SNl calling me FB all the time, and the assaults. Maybe I need to leave and get away for a few months. Just sit on a lake and read and watch the waves. Relaxation is necessary to sustain life, maybe that is what I need.

Yes, when he is gone and I don't think about him anymore, will be a relief. Just don't know if that will happen. I still love this guy, and real in-love. He has hurt me deeply, and rejection is hard to take. It is so sad to hear your spouse call you ugly names, and respond to me in such anger. Well, I guess I will get going, bye for now.

Sweetie, what ever he said, did or thought is OVER now. Do you want him to keep controlling you? Because that is what you are doing..you are giving him control of your emotions, your thoughts, your self esteem every single time you you relive and re-write your past. You are keeping it alive..and it will continue to hurt you. Let it die..let the power it has over you die.

So he called you an FB...so what..that's his opinion..don't make it your own..it's one man's opinion...trust me..many have called me that...so what..I am only an FB if I buy into what someone else's opinion..and that is giving them power that is MINE! You've called him lots of unflattering things here too...but they didn't give you power over him because he didn't buy into it...see how that works?

Hon, start looking at your life in a different light...you have a golden opportunity to turn it around to exactly what you want...that old sappy saying "today is the first day of the rest of your life" is true.

Do you want to be on the boards in a year still bemoaning the awful things he has said and done, how life is so unfair, or do you want to post something like.."my life is great, Vet assistant school is so fascinating and oh, by the way I met the most wonderful man"?

Think about it...in your present state of mind, none of that is possible because you are stuck dwelling on the past...something that you have absolutely no control over and couldn't change if you wanted to. But, you and only you, can now start controlling your life, your self esteem, your opportunities.

It's time to take the first step, C2M...Let go of some of the bitterness. The next time you are ready to wallow in it, take 2 seconds and ask yourself.."how is this helping me get the life I want?" If it's not, then banish it. Practice this for one week..see if you can tell the difference.
T

Twyla - how does one deal with the pain I experience every day, physical pain in my right shoulder? By the way I am seeing the pain clinic today. Stopping at my other doctors office to see if she has the results of the MRI. If damage is there, have a shoulder specialist I will go to.

No Twyla - I don't want to be here in another year going woe is me. But geeze, I am hurting physically worse than mentally at the present day.

Am I to ignore the fact, that if SNL hadn't pulled me around by my right arm, that I would of been okay? Not on the computer very much, hard to sit here and type. Neck seems jammed today. Days like today, I want to quit, fold up and go under 6 feet of Gods earth. To beable to have a day with no physical pain, would be wonderful. Don't complain much to the kids, don't want them worrying about me. But my oldest son went to massage therapy with me yesterday, to get his back fixed, and he saw how much pain I am in. Doing the massage and getting the pain relieved, is so painful. Thanks for your advice. Till next time. Bye for now.

(((((((((((((cry2much)))))))))))))))

You are not to ignore the fact that you were abused. You must acknowledge it and then MOVE AWAY FROM IT. Do not allow SNL and his behaviours get to you, especially now you are divorcing. Believe me, YOU are the one with the power to heal yourself, not him. I believe the reason he says things and does things even now is to try to have that same measure of control over you that he did have. He WANTS it. DON'T you dare let him have it.

I wrote a while ago about an incident with stbx telling the kids stuff about OW. I wrote a very careful email to him to which he replied very angrily, still had his 'digs' at me, like I was gutless, manipulative, etc etc. It got to me, and I wrote about it here....but I did not 'bite' to him. I replied in a reasonable manner to his hurtful jibes. Guess what...he totally backed down. My reaction was NOT what he expected and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Have strength...he is losing power over you and he knows it.

As to the title of this thread...yes I did feel 'dumped' for a long time. Now I feel released.

Love and light,

Jacky

Hmm, have you read Patricia Evan's " Verbally Abusive Relationship" or Townsend and Clouds' " Boundries"?

I'd strongly recommend 'em; and they're a good read to boot!

Dealing with physical pain..it is tough. I'm a work right now with a brace from thigh to ankle and a knee swollen to twice it's size...however, if I take off work now, I will not have enough sick leave for the post op period...so, I take my meds, move a litle slower and concentrate on my work. It's not easy...but I've rarely found much in life that is.

Hon, I will say that the first 2 years after my D I was a bitter, nasty, sarcastic old thing...I blamed hangnails on my ex! And most of my friends supported me in doing so. In retrospect, it didn't help..it was a comfort at the time, but it kept me in a place where I could or wouldn't go forward. Like being on a stationary bike.

But, once I decided that no amount of anger, bitterness would help ME..that's when I made changes. In retrospect, I think I wanted him to hurt as bad as I was hurting. I wanted his life to be torn upside down..I wanted to see outwards signs of regret, hardship. In short, I wanted revenge. My Lord, how much time and energy did I waste that could have been put into making MY life better sooner. And, in a way, this anger et al was another way I GAVE him control of my emotions...I enabled him and the past to continue to hurt me, to influence me and he wasn't even aware of it!

It wasn't until a woman I barely knew asked me point blank why I was still holding on that I realized how deeply I had sunk into a quagmire of my own making. You know what? I could no longer hold him accountable for all my misery if I wasn't willing to pull myself up.

Sweetie, physical, emotional and mental pain feed off of each other. Finding some ease for one will help the others. You are seeking care for your physical and mental pain...help yourself ease some of the emotional pain. Like I said before..when the images, the conversations..the whole sordid story rewinds and re-plays through your mind..push the mental "stop" button. Enable yourself to take back some of your power..to find some peace. Even if it only works for a few seconds today, tomorrow it will last a little longer. By next week you may actually last a minute or two. Take pride in your progress and strength. This is now only about YOU..not him, not them, not even us...completely YOU.
T

Yes, I want his words out of my head. The pain physician said I am letting his words hurt me inside. He has controlled me for all these years, and it is hard to let lose. I am letting SNL manipulate me into being under his mindset. I am going to get help in letting him go, and forgetting about him. Like I was told. He wants to be friends with you after the divorce, he will want it his way. If you don't like it too bad, but if he doesn't like it, he will definitely let you know and everyone else will know it too. How uncooperative and how you are trying to control. I look back at how he didn't want me to tell anyone about his affair. He wanted me to just let it eat away inside me. I couldn't post on marriagebuilders, cause he didn't like what I was saying. I became a robot, a person letting another person manipulate me into what he wanted done. He still repeats to me, if only I would cooperate with him, then things would of been amicably settled. Well, why doesn't he cooperate with the lawyers, why doesn't he cooperate with me, why doesn't he cooperate with his mother, why doesn't he cooperate with the law, why doesn't he cooperate with the judge. He has gone against the judges order and this is contempt of court. Why doesn't he COOPERATE!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I am realizing little by little, that he will make everyone else look bad. He of course didn't do anything wrong, cause in his eyes, he will never do anything wrong. It is always the other person. God really has someone that has overcome by Satan to work on.

Taking little steps at a time is what is needed. I feel I made a little step today. Am going to get psychological help by a professional. Pain physician feels it is necessary. Will discuss with others a choice of switching drugs. Maybe that will help. Anything, just to get him out of my mind, and I can move on. It is hard after 24 years, and to see that he writes so negatively of me. Well, SNL, he was not a perfect husband. We all are failures to some point. And SNL sure failed in many aspects of this marriage. But he will never account for his failures, it is easier to look at the other person and point fingers. This is manipulation and control.

Going to take a hot bath and soak my shoulder. Didn't find out about the MRI today, will call tomorrow. Today was not a good day, lots of pain, and feeling quite miserable. But hopefully I will take a long hot bath and soak this shoulder and maybe get a good nights sleep, sleep has been difficult for me for several weeks now. Goodnight all.

I feel like I wasn't given a proper chance. I made some bad verbal mistakes. I made some bad written mistakes. And now my WS is hurt too much to come back. She's suffered from Child Abuse Memories, has had a PA affair, but I've hurt her to much she says.

I feel like I wasn't given a proper chance and we didn't have any help. If it was a film you would have walked out half way thru thinking this was kust unbelievable. Neil.

Twyla... wonderful advice. I only wished you responded to my *Depressed* post back a couple of days ago! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but....I DID get some excellent advise from the other folks too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I married a man that too believes he is above the law. The only thing I can add to what you've already said is these men will NEVER change. It's not MY job to show the world how evil and wrong he is. That's God's job.

The lawyers btw for the rest of you -- was fine. Same old...same old, just a different day. Basically it all depends on who can talk the fastest and convince the judge. The one thing that I'm doing is praying that God helps the judge hear the TRUTH.

Sorry been so busy. Had the MRI and went to a shoulder specialist. SNL came to the appt. too, he asked if he could go, said sure. Anyways, I have a rotator cuff tear, there is a flap that keeps locking, and a bone spur in a shape of a hook. When SNL whipped me around with my bad R arm, it caught the tissue, tendon of rotator cuff, and tore it, needs to be mended, and flap removed and hook spur removed.

Surgery is scheduled for Oct. 31. Will be out of commission for awhile, hey maybe I can get caught up on reading some good material. There is so much going on in my life now. Will respond tomorrow, am just noting my lack of presence here, and will post tomorrow, when coherent more. Am in Darvocet for pain, and anti-spasmatic pain meds. They are kicking in and it feels good, tired. Thanks for responding, and tell of all that is happening. Goodnight to all.