Hey guys.

Been up and down this weekend. But faith has brought me up again. Son and I have had a good day. Then I got a PMS migraine. I don't get _itchy, I just get migraines thank goodness! Oh, and probably that's what brought about this down thinking I experienced for a bit.

I've decided that after we go to Walmart, I am going to this good salon to get a trim and a bit of style. Again, long hair and $40 bucks gone. Anyhow, I know I'm not ready to date yet, but want to design this new and better look so when the new "single" me emerges, I can rejoin the ranks of the single hotties. ha ha.

I have decided to finally lose that last 10 pounds. I have a pretty decent figure and just couldn't seem to shake the 10. So workouts are in now daily, I've decided.

I've decided to update my wardrobe. Will do this once a week, just looking about in my closet and reading some good magazines.

And of course, the most important is THE INNER SELF. That's why I am so blessed to be here again with friends. That is paramount above all these other areas.

So anybody want to join me in the TOTAL LIFE MAKEOVER? Should help us as we tackle these heawvy issues each day. Well, we will at least feel good. Remember anyone, that character on Sat. Nite Live, "Fernando" (Billy Crystal) who said "It is better to look good than to feel good dahhling..." ? Anyway, I am on the way to feeling good. My soul is light b/c I am doing things morally and now I want my scales to register a bit lighter too. If you'd like to join, let's begin today...

I am now going out for another bike ride w/son and then to eat some BBQ at a restaurant. So what if we don't have any BBQ invites for a cookout? We'll go to a restaurant and have one ourselves. Then I get my 8 pm haircut. Before that, Walmart and a few groceries.

I bought a 3 ring divider notebook to help me on this quest for "betterness". One will be for inside and another section for outside(hair, weight, makeup) and third section for fashion.

If you are a guy, then you can do this too. You wil just need a smaller notebook ha ha.

Everyone says I look much younger than 33, so let's see if I can workout/change things a bit and seem more like an optimistic, unflappable 25!!!!! We can do this.

I would really appreciate any friens here who would also like to do this as a buddy thing. We can post here, also email each other and post how we are doing. This could be so fun! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

If guys (I know some say that with vitriol and derision!) are welcome then count me in.

It's been two weeks since I quit smoking...does that mean I don't have to do anything else for a while?

Pete

Peachy....Count me in. I am starting to workout again starting tomorrow. I just want to feel good about myself again. I have been journaling since July 8 so I will be interested to see what I write down six months from now.(wife and I are working on marriage and dating again: wishful thinking). I know working on my inner self will be a great thing to see changing. So much has changed with my inner self already and even more change will make me dynamic feeling again.

I am currently reading the book "Changes That Heal...How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future" by Dr.Henry Cloud. If your not familiar with him he is a well known Christian counselor.

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ September 02, 2002, 06:49 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Peachy,
Sounds like a plan to me!! I joined WW in March, and have lost 28 lbs., i am 5 lbs. from goal, but this last 5 is just dragging!!

I feel like i look good (for my age of 43) and keep in shape. Actually, a couple weeks ago, i had a 24 year old ask me to accomodate him somewhere. (actually felt pretty good:) , but a little toooooo young). But boy was it flattering. I wish i could quite the smoking, made it 12 months a few years ago, but put on 60 pounds, started back and had only lost 1/2 the weight. So joined WW in March to get the last 30 off. Almost there!!

Just need to get going on the exercising thing!!
Getting better on the emotional end though. Sept. 25 will be one year since the divorce, and getting better every day. Still working on improvements in that area though.

GA,

Don't start looking like a 25 year old. Jeessshhhhh !!!!

Since my wife has wanted a divorce, I have been just kind of looking at women, not for one, just at them. Wondering if I were to look for one, is there one out there for me. Well, everyone that I see looks like they are in their early 20's or early 40's. NONE seem to be without a ring and in their early 30's. So just for me, (wow talk about ego) at least leave something that would let me know that you are fair game. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

As it stands now, I am going to be either too old or too young, and I have no desire to be either.
My wife is 4 years older than me and it never bothered me a bit, until she decided that she wanted a 43 year old instead of a 33 year old. Guess that was when I realized that maybe I should be a bit closer to the age of my wife.

But trying to figure out how old women are is incredibly difficult. I havn't looked at another woman in 14 years now, and everyone that I see is the age that I remember them 14 years ago. Where are all the 29 - 35 year old decent women that aren't married? I will need this information eventually. haha

I will tell you, there are several Docs that I know that have been so caught up in their education that they really didn't date much, and are now coming out of residency and making a boat load of cash with no one to spend it with. So ladies, don't look too harshly at those single docs out there. Some of them are just too nice and a little reserved to go looking for you. But this one isn't, I just don't know where you will be in a few months or years.

Stay great my ladies. I hope you all the best.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Thanks guys! Let's come up for a name for our new club...

Anyway, went to the greenbelt. Son rode his little bike and I walked/jogged to just keep up with him. Then we went and ate. Have decided now to only eat when I am hungry. I think I had been eaten to comfort me, b/c I don't have a relative here to just hug..Talked w/my mom and my sister tonight. And a doc friend of mine called earlier and was so sweet. They were all just checkin' on me, us. Why is it that I get the feeling that our relatives/friends think that on a holiday we are gonna do something stupid? I don't know, just a dumb thought. Oh, I had to reschedule the hair appt. for Wednesday. Didn't want to have son out that late tonite. But I will just trim it and shape it up and maybe get a new look, but it is long (middle of back) and other than the ends, I like it this way. Started growing it b/c when I met H, it was this long and I had just won a state beauty contest. Like bamboo shoots under his nails ha ha. Must be working since he spent the night this week huh?

Anyway, let's post each day and let one another know how we are doing. We can 1)decide what areas we are going to work on 2) then we can help each other out 3)when we accomplish out goals, we can brag here and check them off on our list.

Mom of 4--awesome! You sound like where I want to be..A transformed hottie but cool and moral and conservative on the inside. What does your X think about your new look? Hmm. IF a youngster like that thinks you are one cool babe, then I can only imagine how X is kicking himself around. You go girl..

CJ--great! Good idea journaling. I am going to just journal my goals and will check off when I reach them. Live well and she will notice. If not, then you'll still be a catch when your transformation is over. God bless.

formerly--in case you want to know, my bro in law (sis' H) is fresh outta residency also. They just moved to a picture perfect small town in AL. They live near a huge pristine lake, bought a killer boat last week, and he has a great new practice. So you've joined us, and I'm glad you responded, what are you gonna work on? Your Ww will discover her loss and it will, trust me, have nothing to do with your profession or success. You are so sweet on the inside. This is gonna be fun.

time to move on--cool. Quitting smoking is so awesome. I used to do emergency lung perfusion studies on lotsa people with possible clots and funny thing--there were alot of smokers here. That is a great way to start.

Ok. let's see here, we've got people wanting to lose weight and get hotter (ha ha), another starting inside and working out, another who seems pretty ok but will decide where to start and what area, and another who just stopped inhaling those cancer sticks (ha ha). We are gonna have an awesome time folks! We've done great for our first day.

Recap: We need a name. Please let me know what you guys like.
We could poll and vote.

oh, and we want all others who feel as we do to make us better as we venture through this process to join us and let's make this wierd, absolutely strange time a bit happier.

Peach,
As to what my ex thinks, he always has a compliment these days, (i think it is a little too late)!! But it is fun to hear them, and just kind of blow him off <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Will be thinking of a name for our club!!

GA
Just a quick note to let you know I've been reading your posts this weekend and your buouyancy and optimism (even when you were down earlier) are somewhat catching. Sorry I didn't get to the disco - never was one for dancing that much; I wondered if more would have joined in if it was in a room on yahoo or something that accommodated real-time interaction.

Thanks for making me feel up with your focused "onward vision". I'm working with a trainer at the gym but I've backslidden somewhat with my eating habits...Am I too old for the club?

I'm in. Need to continue to lose weight and regain my pre-marital shape and improve my wardrobe......I can be a real hunk if a wanna be!

c++

Avondale and C+ guy

Great! We're gonna have alot of fun. And Avondale, age is but a #..We sure could use alot of help from a person w/training experience. C+, you are already a hunk inside so let's bring out the inner hunk. This is great!

I am always struggling daily w/optimism. Before all of this, about 5 years back, I was soooo bouncy. The proverbial bouncy blonde. All my friends said I looked like the chick in legally blonde. But alas, I feel much too tired these days to do the whole look thing and I wanna get off 10-15 lbs.

Ok Avondale. What is the best way to lose weight? Is all the buzz about carbs the way to go? Cut down on them while eating protein? Read the zone, but it's so hard doing when you've got a 4 year old.

Oh, STBX, im'd me when I was online. He said "you sure are online alot these days". He asked if son and I had a good weekend. I said yes. He asked if he could get son for middle of week visit tomorrow and I said ok. But he did say that he'd call me tomorrow night while son is in bed. Either it is something good or about the D and that's it. I vote for the latter b/c it is more likely.

Signing off for the evening. Have a wonderful back to work day folks. We need a name. Let's vent here also.

email: JoeyESNuclear@aol.com

I really don't know what to work on.There are so many things. I guess the biggest thing I need to improve myself at this time is the ability to stop my incesent thoughts about what I have lost and instead think about what I have. I have gained much in the departure of my ex, in so much as that I no longer have to settle for what is easiest and fastest. This was always a problem between us. I wanted to do things right. She just wanted things done.

Actually, I have lost a bit of weight during this whole thing, and NO it isn't because I havn't had her cooking for me. I just forget to eat so often that I have to remember just to keep going. The longest I have gone without eating was over 3 days. I finally remembered when some friends asked me out to lunch, and I realized that I hadn't eaten since the Friday before. I guess that is better than the alternative of eating to feel better. I think that I used to do that a bit.

I currently am 6'2" and weigh 194 lbs. So I just need to fill out the shoulders a bit again, starting to see the sixpack reappear, but it will take some time to get it back to full. This computer hasn't been giving my muscles much of a workout lately. I have already joined a gym again, went almost everyday premarriage. Then was "asked" to quit because it took to much time. I have joined a Church group on Divorce, but it doesn't start until Sept. 25, so have a few Wed. Nights off still. I have my boys on Mon/Tue and every other Fri/Sat/Sun. Started a Jewelry making class on Thurs. so that day is full, but I don't have anyone to give the things I make to. Kind of sad. So many ideas and no one to showcase them. Oh well, eventually there will hopefully be an appreciative neck and finger wearing gold attached to a heart of one with my name on it.

I am trying to get back on track. The funny thing is that now, all the things that I had already planned on doing before my divorce, the jewelry class and such, I am doing anyway. I refuse to let her have any more power over my life. She has shunned me for another, but I will not allow her to turn me into the quivering mass that she surely feels I will become. She is very upset because I leased a very nice condo and have fixed it up better than our house was before I left. The funny thing is that I have done it with the things I took from our home, yard sales, and Goodwill buys. I have spent the last 8 years taking things TO Goodwill, kind of felt funny buying a few things from there. But the $1 vase I bought really torqued her, because she thought that I spent a ton on it and she was mad because she said, "You won't buy yourself flowers." to which I replied, "Maybe not, but maybe some thoughtful lady will."

I took my boys out for my birthday supper tonight alone. The first time in their lives that we went to a "real sit down" restraunt without their mother. We had a great time. We sat and laughed about silly things. My waitress was very cute, but unfortunatley, that is what she was, CUTE. I just don't think that I can take cute. That connotation has too much age difference for me to stomach. She sure did eye me a couple of times though. I wonder if women always looked at me this way. I have never thought of myself as goodlooking, but my wife always said that everyone she knew always thought "there was something about me" that intrigued them. I always thought she was full of bull, and never noticed how any women looked at me because I always had her and never needed any outside enticement. My wife is gorgeous and I never considered anyone other than her.

Maybe now, I will have to relearn how to followup on that initial "look" that I get. Oh my goodness, how in the world do you talk to women at age 34 when the last time you did it you were asking them to go to the Def Lepard concert at age 20. Dear Lord help me to not make a fool of myself.

Ssssiiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhhhh~!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like fun. Since my XH left me in February, I have been to London, Biloxi MS, and have two cruises coming up. I have stepped up my workouts at the gym (serious weight training and aerobics). I have remodeled my kitchen, finally went to the dermatologist to make sure everything okay-it is (I live in the sunshine state) and am going to the dentist next week and get my teeth even whiter. Still looking for that perfect haircut though!! So I am definitely working on the outside of me.

What I really need to work on is inside my brain - to stop trying to analyize what happened to XH and why he went off the deep end. I need to somehow totally detach from thinking about him. It's hard because I still feel emotionally connected. I guess that will just come with time.

Hey folks! How did your day go? Mine was good and then I got this bill that H had put in my name and it was for $300. One more hurdle for attorney. Am soo tired. Been doing laundry and getting ready to mop. Didn't go jogging b/c I had so much to do. Did my bills. Am going to sign off in a bit and do Denise Austin video. Kinda kickboxing/aerobics thing. Should get rid of tension.

Got hair appt. on Wed. at 8 pm. Just a trip and shape up and maybe some advice on updating a bit. Polishing up some. I like my hair long and it is very healthy, but want to have a bit more style to it (blunt across the back now). Did good on diet today. Did not snack. Drank alot of unsweetened tea and water. Worked my bootie off at work. Gotta go. I am needing to do a bit more work now.

Remember, we need a name and we need to let each other know how we are doing each day ok?

One of the better days I have had since the big news about 2 months ago. Felt better than I have felt in a long time. Had a small interventional case at work and left early to pick up my sons. Went to the park and played for a while with them, then sat and read while they played together. I am so lucky to have two boys that are equally aggressive and loving. They will push each other off the equipment, and then run down to repair the damage. haha It was a lesson in patience today, just seeing how they would do without my interference. They did very well, I just kept telling them to figure it out and they pretty much did the right thing every time.

Anyway, I stopped by LS Ayers, my favorite store for the last year. They always have a bunch of things on sale and since little that I own fits anymore without punching more holes in the belt to keep it up, I decided to check out what they had. Found some linen slacks, a couple silk shirts, and a great turtleneck, (turtleneck wasn't on sale but it looked great!) Was trying on the slacks when a lady came up to me and said, "Wait a second, I have just the shirt for those." I was in a Scrub top and linen slacks, not exactly a good pairing. She came back with this stretchy silk dark brown (mahogany on the tag haha) shirt and asked me to try it. She said she wanted to get it for her husband, but wanted to see what it would look like on. Well, it did look pretty good with the linen, so I ended up buying a large and she got the medium. Felt pretty good with the compliments. I have been wearing scrubs and khakis for so long, I forgot what it was like to actually have things that fit rather than hung.

Well, I never wanted this to happen, but if it is going to happen I am going to make the best out of it. I would rather look good for my wife, but if she isn't interested, I will look great for my someone hopefully, NOT TO MENTION MYSELF. I need to do a bit more toning and get a tan. I havn't been in the sun for about 2 months now so I am quite white. Maybe by the time my head is rearranged and some serious time has passed, I will have enough courage to talk to a woman again.

I don't know why I felt better about my inner self today. Didn't see anything coming, and was late for work after dropping off the kids so that wasn't it. But I did. Maybe I will make it through this after all. But I know that there will be more days that bring me down, but even just a few of these good days make me have hope that more are on the way.

F.C.

Email ne if you ever want to. I am exhausted. Long day..What do you do, what kind of interventionals. Docs I work with do interventional cardiology.

Sounds like a great shirt. Glad you guys had fun at the park. STbXH has son tonight for visitation so I am a bum and just doing housework and getting ready to do a short 20 min. workout before collapsing.

Glad you had a great day. That is wonderful <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . This is indeed some kind of ride. There was one day that I had decided to just get off of it. I am not one for too many thrill rides, although I will ride them..I compared it once before to getting on this ride that pulls you up in the air over 20 stories and then drops you down at over 60 mph. Am somewhat adventurous, but not that wild a ride personally ever again. I still am praying God speaks to H's heart b/c it is winding down. There are always parts of my day where I find myself mourning. You always will. But just to know that I hurt means that I feel and have love and compassion. See it as both healing and a good thing. I try that;s all. As long as we get up each day, be a moral person, be a great parent and do our appointed jobs good, that is all to do for now. We have got our plates full. But in having faith we will improve ourselves along this rocky road is great.

So blessed to have new friends <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

J.

Had a good day, worked, came home, and relaxed. Kids went to ex's for a few hours, so had a peaceful evening, (excluding the argument with him over the phone about doctor bills, etc)! I wish i didn't have to ever deal with him, which I know is an impossiblity because of the boys.
He doesn't usually have to say much of anything, to get my blood boiling about something. Still have a lot of that anger thing going on, once in awhile. Getting better though. Actually, a friend of mine goes to these classes every Sunday called Divorce Recovery. Thing i will join her next Sunday and try it. Like i said, still have some anger issues to work on.

Still thinking about that name, have a good night everyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey, All:

I can see that just a few "improvements" here on the old bod and mind and I will be on my way to a happier, healthier, and if Miss Right comes my way, sexier life.

I am eating better and will start my exercise program tonight after work. Would ride my bicycle to work this AM, however, there is rain and thunder and a lot of electricity coming from the sky...soooo.....

At one time I could NordicTrack for 100 minutes with the legs and arms both set to the highest settings....what happened to that guy? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well, will be there again, soon and xw will be sorry, I tell ya boy!

c++

c++guy,
I bet she will be sorry!! I think my ex is, since i have shed my almost 30 pounds, and have a completely different attitude toward everything!!

He always has to bring up things like, "i guess you have big plans tonight" or "i guess you are going on a date", or whatever he decides to say. I think it is quite funny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey guys. Hard to write now b/c son was sitting in my lap.

Wierd day. Read the Austin story. I am going to get a trim at 8 pm. That is good. New look. Am going out one night this weekend with another buddy. She is d'd two years and is also in same med profession. We are having a girls' night. Gotta get my groove on again..

Anyway, I woke up this am and did aabout 15 min. of a kickboxing video and almost passed out. But lotsa stress flowed away. Had a good day at work. Am recovering after Austin's visit...

mom of 4: Great idea. I am considering doing D revcovery program also at big church nearby. Glad you had a well deserved day of relaxation. Mom of 4 needs a spa day and so do I...

c+: Just end up looking like the bowflx guy in the tv commercials ok? He is sooo cute. As Austin Powers would say, "he's one sexy beast baaaaby."

Getting outta here. Going to greenbelt for a bit of fun, then to get haircut, then to eat w/son. Then home, bed, and rest of kickboxing tape after mopping the last bit of kitchen floor. Whew, I'm already exhausted.

You are all like an answered prayer to me. Thanks for your friendship.

Peachy,
Going out on the weekend, sounds fun!!! I have the kids this weekend, actually have had them last 2 weekends, exH had a ball trip last weekend, so he took 2 weekends, and i am taking 2 weekends.

Had a BUSY day at work today! Glad it is over and only 2 more days until the weekend YIPPPPPEEEEE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Peachy, we need to email each other, here is my email addy, blwooff@i1.net

have a great evening everyone!!