Every Wed. we are to pray and fast for one another. Every Weds we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better..

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us.

If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: cajunky,Ezra, Willgetthruthis, Godisincontrol, Natasha79, JohnC, c++_guy, Wallace, relady, steadfast and committed, morriggs,lupolady, stillwaiting, Broken Hearted, PasDeDeux, hopeful_person,GinnyF, Not peachy in Ga, cry2much,SNL,LostAgain(Dave&April), Dodger, gloriachu, LoveNcare,JMF,WEN, NiteHawk, Absurd, LetSTry,AgainsttheWind

Prayers Answered: Lupolady(air conditioner),Steadfast(first string again),cry2much(sucessful surgery)

Love in Christ
Cajunky

<small>[ October 23, 2002, 03:28 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

-------BUMP-------

Cajunky:

We are praying for YOU...

BIG BUMP NEEDED AND PRAYERS OK?

This week's prayer for our H's is "His Sexuality" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
His Sexuality:

After twenty years of praying with women about their failing, struggling, unfilfilling, or dead M's, I've observed that frequently the sexual relationship is a low priority in their minds. It isn't that the W cares nothing about that part of her life. It's that there are so many other things screaming for her attention, such as raising children, work, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, exhaustion, sickness, and marital strife. In the wife's juggling of priorities, sex can send up on the bottom of her list. Some women allow week after week, month after month, six months, a year or even more to go by without having sexual relations with their husbands for one reason or another. When disaster hits, they are surprised. Even though the W may have felt fine about this arrangement, her H is being neglected in an important part of his being.

For a W, sex comes out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for, or abandoned. But for a H, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. He has trouble hearing anyting his W says or seeing what she needs when that area of his being is neglected. Wives sometimes have it backwards. They think We can have sex after we get other issues settled. But actually there is far greater chance of settling the other issues sex comes first.

That's why it's important to make sex a matter of priority in your M. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn't the point. The point is meeting the needs of your H and keeping communication lines open. A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed or tempted in this area of his being. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.

When we're married, our bodies are not our own. We owe each other physical attention and we're not to deprive one another. The frequency of sex depends on the other person's need, not ours alone. If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective.

Sometimes there is the opposite situation, where the wife is sexually neglected by her H. His lack of interest can happen for many reasons-physical, mental, or emotional. But if he is content to go month after monthwithout sex, then something is wrong. If there is no physical problem hindering him, maybe he's having deep feelings of failure, disappointment, depression, or hopelessness that need to be addressed. Prayer can help reveal what the problem is and how to solve it. Get professional help if you need to.

Bad things develop when the sexual part of a marriage is neglected. Don't let that happen to you. Keep an eye on the calendar and refuse to allow much time to go by without coming together physically. If it has been too long, ask God to show you why and help you rememdy the situation, and remember, it's never too late to pray for sexual purity, no matter what has occurred in either of your parts.

Prayer:
Lord, bless my H's sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.

Keep sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that works to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experiences -- in thoughts or deeds -- that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from ourlives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. Help us to "abstain from sexual immorality" so thateach of us will know "how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor." (I Thess.4:3-5) I pray that we will desire each other and no one else.
I realize that a large part of my ministry to my H is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit that area of our lives to You, Lord. May it be conditionally new and alive. Make it all that You created it to be."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I Corinthians 6:18-20
I Corinthians 6:13
Proverbs 5:15-19

<small>[ October 20, 2002, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

Friends,
This week's prayer from "Power..." that I quoted hit very close to home.

As near as I can determine, my H DID NOT leave due to an A w/ow. He left cause his wife did not have sex with him.

This is difficult to admit, although I have said it before on this forum. It is more than a little difficult to come to grips with, cause as near as I can determine, that was our ONE difficulty. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Further, WHY would my DH even consider coming back - KNOWING - (in his mind, anyway) that "nothing has changed", and that he faces a life of sexlessness. I mean, yes, I've realized the error my ways, realized how BIG of a need that is to him. Yes, I've resolved to change that. BUT (and a big but here), HOW can we ever discuss it or even change it, or TRY to overcome past mistakes, when there is NO contact?

We have no children together...and I have heard NOTHING from him in almost a year and a half that indicates he might reconsider anything that has happened. (I have heard nothing at all from him since our Dv was final, June 26)

I guess I'm just having some doubts lately. These thoughts have been going through my mind for awhile now. It just seems that if someone else comes along and is willing to have sex with him, then I've lost him forever, with no chance of trying to fix this.

As you can see, I need lots of prayer right now. I'm feeling very hopeless, and about to give up, and just admit that I really screwed up my M to a wonderful guy (yes, conflict avoider, fer shure, but there are WORSE things he could be!!), simply b/c of my own selfishness. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks everybody for remembering to pray for me to believe GOD can do anything.

God Bless each of you.

Lupolady,

I use to have similar fears about my husband not seeing changs in me. Then I was reminded that it didn't matter if my husband was on the other side of the world, God had His hand on it and he could work in his heart no matter how far away he was from me.

And as far as your husband not being able to see the changes, God knows your heart has changed and that is why He will work in your husband heart if you do not give up.

If you have faith, God will work all things together for good. The important part is that you have realized what you did to your husband.

You have a new heart, Praise God.

I pray for all marriages here and I will be praying for you.

gentle

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by gentle:
<strong>

If you have faith, God will work all things together for good. The important part is that you have realized what you did to your husband.

You have a new heart, Praise God.

I pray for all marriages here and I will be praying for you.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks Gentle. I needed that!

I appreciate all the prayers, too! I know you are right. I guess I'd just forgotten.....

For Oct. 23

HER MOTHERHOOD

Woman voted motherhood as one of their top three needs for prayer, just under prayer for their spirits and for their emotions. Every mother struggles about maintaining a balance between being a good mother and a good wife. She often feels guilty about neglecting her husband or her children. Your wife needs your prayers to help her find that balance. God will work through your prayers to give her peace in the process. And she must find His peace within herself while she is raising her children.

Working Mothers need prayers for their well being. A part of her is always with their children. This becomes especially painful when there are long periods of time when they are not with her. Every woman wants prayer that she will be a better mom. If your wife is a working mom,pray for the time she has with the children to be maximized.

I want to encourage you as a father to know that your presence in the home is vitally important. You have no idea how important your approval is to your family. The one way you can be more involved with your kids is to pray for them. And they need you to pray with them. If you have to be away from them, tell each of your children that you're going to be praying for them.

It is important to pray with your wife for your children. "If two of you agree on earth concerning anything they ask, it will be done for them b the father in heaven." It will give your wife the greatest peace, confidence, and joyto know you are praying.

Prayer

Lord. I pray that you will help (wifes name) to be the best mother to our children that she can be. Give her strength, and help her to understand that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her (Philippians 4:13). Give her patience, kindness, gentleness, and discernment. Guard her tongue so that the words she speaks will build up and not tear down, will bring life and not destruction. Guide her as she makes decisions regarding each child. By the authority You have given me, as a believer as well as a husband and father, I break any rebellion or area of disobedience that would erect a stronghold in our children (luke 10:19). Specifically I lift up (childs name). I bring before You my concern about (name any area of concern that you have for child).

Lord, I know we cannot successfully raise our children without You. So I ask that You would take the burden of raising them form our shoulders and partner with us to bring them up. Give my wife and me patience, strength, and wisdom to train, teach, discipline, and care for each child. Help us to know each childs needs and to know how to meet them. Give us discernment about what we allow into the home through T.V., books, movies, video games, and computer activities. Give us revelation and the ability to see what we need to see. Show us Your perspective on each child's uniqueness and potential for greatness. Give us a balance between being overprotective and allowing our children to experience life to early.

If we, being evil, Know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will You, our heavenly Father, give good things to us when we ask it of You (Matthew 7:11). So I ask you for the gifts of intelligiance, strength, talent, wisdom, and godliness to be in our children. Keep them safe from any accident, disease, or evil influence. May no plan of the enemy succeed in our lives. Help us to raise our children to be obedient and respectful to both of us and to have a heart to follow You and Your word. I pray that my wife will find fulfillment, contentment, and joy as a mother, while never losing sight of who she is in You.

Remember to pray for everyone elses marriage as well as your own.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Special prayer request this week. As many of you know I found out my wife got engaged. It was a real blow to me but there is nothing I can do about it. I have to really rely on God right now but I would like your prayers for this situation this week. I am going to continue to stand for my marriage right now because I know God sees what is in my heart and will reward me for my obedience.

Lupo.....Your being remembered. Keep the faith.

Love in Christ
cajunky

We are getting over flu, son and I (he's four) and all that is left is a nasty cold part of it. At least the fever and nausea and vomiting is over though. I have been unable to sleep b/c of coughing so I got up.

Would like to ask everyone here to pray for this family a bit tougher. I am beginning to lose my faith in the good fight I have fought for ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW. It has been so long. My WH is nowhere close to repentance except for that brief moment a few weeks ago when he called to ask us to lunch after church. Since his verbal explosion with me, I have gone into plan B, for the protection of me and for whatever love that is left in my heart. Must admit, that love has been slipping so much away. Alot has gone on here: emotional and a small bit of physical abuse (emotional much more prevalent with the physical only being since last year when I would have another d day), financial stress from his noncompliance with helping with joint accounts, and basically dealing with a man who has experienced NO CONSCIENCE WHATSOEVER after his marriage is ripped apart by an almost two year affair. They are still, to the best of my knowledge (praise God) broken up.

So much has happened to me. Just to be able to stay afloat and be the best mom to son I can be. He is so precious. And there HAS to be positive change on his part (sure I worked the MB plan A great and worked on All of his issues he had with me, although they were quite small) because of his very bad behavior. We're not just talking about a man having had an affair here. A man who attempted to take his wife to court for temporary custody of son even though we already had a fair agreement (his side dismissed case the day before the trial), a man who did not pay alimony or child support and forced his wife and child out of the family home onto the street. I can go on and on.

God knows my heart and my desire for things to change. This time last year I had so much more hope than now. Hope for reconciliation that is. And now I am just basically going on day to day doing decently without him. I have to be in plan B for me now. To have my clarity to continue daily. Contact with him is much too painful for me now.

Let wH know two weeks ago about the rules of plan B. If he ever wants to work things out and give things a chance, he will have to come to that conclusion. That until his heart changes, I have to stay away. We have spoken on the phone briefly, but I am sticking to it. MB principles work. And also according to LMBT, this is the right approach. He is a very high powered businessman who would rather eat nails than admit he has sinned or done wrong. Please pray that God breaks through his hardened heart. I don't know even why it is so hard...He never opened up to tell me. Only time I knew anything was that bad was when I found out about his affiar. Just thought our lives were, well pretty normal and ok. He quit going to church right before the affair also. So he is somewhat ashamed before God, which is good.

But please just pray for us. Pray for him too. I do every day. It hurts so much when I think of the future. I have just about totally given up here. And thinking that because I've been separated a year and three months and filed for over a year, that it is almost time to move on. I have waited patiently for something positive to happen to us. Prayed so very hard. Sometimes last year I would pray until the sun rose. But then futility set in. Maybe a few months ago. Maybe it is recent. I don't know. But I am losing all hope now. So I have left my marriage at the feet of my Blessed SAvior. Letting God deal with it now because I am powerless, except in my reactions directly to wH. I can indeed control that. I am loving but tough with him.
And wH KNOWS THAT IF HE WERE TO TRY SECOND CHANCE WOULD BE IN ORDER FOR HIM. He just takes me for granted. In his mind, this is just a re adjustment phase. Those were his words. Fancy cars, a huge home, exotic trips, and the chance to date as many women as possible are his reality now. Satan has placed so many stumbling blocks before this man that it's not funny. To all of those around him, it is like watching a piece of toilet paper when you flush it down. Just swirling downward. It has been so hard. He is only 34 and this is his second divorce now. Luckily, only one child, and unfortunate for me, my child is involved though. He has done this same affair thing once before. So he has divorced, moved on and started over without repentance. And ironically when I met him, I thought he was such a spiritual man. We used to be so active in our church at one time.

So just pray. Pray hard that God reveal His power to my wH. Pray that the Holy Spirit breaks through to his troubled soul. I am at the end of my rope with this marriage to be completely honest. I am almost totally ready to tell attorney this week to plow ahead and get this over with because I am tired of dealing witht he pain. Pain that hasn't stopped for almost two years. Has been almost unbearable. But I am doing well now. And I know it is like anesthesia, but I want to feel no more pain now when it comes to my marriage. Just euthanize it. Put it to sleep.

And I am praying hard for you Cajunky. This is a hard time. We are all dealing with much. What is so troubling to me now is that I am doing well and am about ready to totally move on without my husband anymore. And I am so fearful to step to that place, because when I do there will be no returning for me to that relationship ever again. I am that close now.

We have been in need of a miracle for some time.

And I have a question...About the fasting???When does it start? What is allowed during the fast, etc.??? I need to know. Us presbyterians don't do alot of fasting, at least what I hear about..

I am praying for alot of you. And I don't wnt to give up, but almost believe for me it is time to do that and find God's new path for my life and for our son.

I have a prayer request. Am having surgery on October 30th.

My prayers are with everyone, Peachy, hope you and your son are feeling better soon, I hate that flu & cold thing, seems like it goes thru everyone in the household.

Please, help!
Am having surgery Oct 29th or 30th cause of Ca cervicis.
My exH and I had no contact since July 4th (divorce anniversary) with one exception: angry outburst on the phone, call initiated by him, 10 days ago.
I need him now more than ever, and I am left all alone in this serious fight. I love him still so much. If only he'd call and ask me how I am, offer help.....anything (he is aware of the situation due to the kids).
How can he be so cold after those 22 yrs?
Please have me in prayers.
Thank you my friends.
D

<small>[ October 21, 2002, 08:06 AM: Message edited by: betrayed and desperate ]</small>

Cajunky - will put in a extra prayer for you. This is most difficult to learn. Lord, please see the pain in CA. heart for his wife. Lord if this is not to be, show CA. a sign of peace. This man needs peace in his life, as well as his family. Please help with all the pain. Lord we all love you. Amen.

Yes, I see the sexual part of the marriage. I did not fulfill my WH's sexual desire. Yes, it is there, men have the desire and I didn't feel romantic, tired, lonely, juggling tasks, and didn't feel loved for being me. Kids were always asking, taking, wanting, and husbands material needs had to be done. All I wanted was a man to love me, treat me like a princess once in a while, and the desire would of been there. Men need sex so much more then woman, and I am sorry that I didn't fulfill that need. As we all are sorry.

Prayer list has been printed and will be praying for all of us.

I will be praying for everyone, especially for God's will for all of us.

My H was the one withholding sex from me. Now I'm assuming that the PA was going for a lot longer than I realized -- he tried to claim that there was only EA until they moved in together suddenly 2 years ago. I feel like such a fool now. I knew something was wrong, but he refused to talk about it and I just assumed he'd lost attraction to me and didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me this.

He then started accusing me of being in love with an old boyfriend (from 22 years ago!) and ranted and raved at me for 4 months before suddenly moving out and moving in with OW.

Please pray for my H's sobriety. He has destroyed our marriage and is destroying his life: he's living with a MOW less than 1/2 his age, he hasn't worked in 2 years, his professional license is being investigated, he's lost our business to me, we're losing our "dream home," he no longer speaks to his family; his son (my stepson) is in jail, probably going to prison, also because of drugs, and he and OW have been evicted from yet another rented living space (this one a fancy condo where they were evicted in less than a month but now refuse to leave so the management is taking them to court; the last, an apartment downstairs in the landlord's house - the landlord wanted to kill them before finally getting them out; the one before that, a bed & breakfast where they spent the latter part of the winter before being evicted; the one before that, a summer rental they rented during the winter but were evicted and the landlord got a judgement against them for damages; and the first one, a weekly rental that they trashed before being evicted).

Notpeachy....First of all let me say you are one hell of a person to stand for your marriage for so long. I have read several accounts on the different marriage restoration sites where the spouse came back and the one thing they said was "thanks for standing for our marriage. I felt your prayers." I wish all people would stand for their marriage throught the difficult times then maybe people could experience the true healing of Gods hand. When change does occur the marriage is stronger than it was before and I believe it is because God has a direct hand in the healing and recovery process.

I know you are getting weary from the whole situation but I can't help to believe that our prayers are affecting him. That one sunday incident showed me God is talking to him. All he has to do is follow Gods lead.

Keep doing what you are doing and lets see if our group prayers can change our situations. We just have to keep remembering that God works things out in his time. There may be a time when we have to stop standing for our marriages but I believe this is not the time for either one of us.

momof4kids...betrayed and desparate....May God use this surgery to let your husbands see how much they really care for you. I pray they will be there by your side during your surgery and for recovery.

Please say prayer for Peter and Louise - Pete has had a hard time giving up OW (my friend) But he FINALLY did. Praise the Lord! But this couple will need healing -OW called Louise (W) & told her everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Pray for restoration of thier M, and to heal the hurts that they must be going thru.

Thanks,

D.

Prayer request. I am not doing well and I must find the strength to better care for my children, provide the love they need during this time and after, control my anger and learn to be and become a model for the man I want my daughters to marry. I also need Heavenly Father's help in completing my degree so I can find a online teaching position to provide for my children. I am trying to come back into the fold, please pray the spirit will return to my home.

<small>[ October 29, 2002, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Fallen Papa ]</small>

Tomorow I will be meeting with advocate to go through DV settlement and also to prepare me for child support claim which is on 25/10 and possible DV (if WH agrees to financial request).

I ask you to keep me in your prayers. For the deliverance of my H and the restoration of our marriage.

Prayer Request: Please keep me in your prayers so that I can give my son the love and support that he needs during our separation from my H. Also, for me to gain strength to deal with whatever lies before me and what is to come. I also need extra prayer to be patient while God is working on my husband. In the meantime I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Thank you,
S

Rtron(aka Dodger) back again folks. Latest: Wife has been talking to OM. She and he said nothing goping on. She still maintains this stance. Can only believe her. She said I could e-mail or call once/day. I went overboard and she said that it drove her nuts. I have stoped and went dark. Divorce is final in 3 weeks. I am standing for reconciliation. I will not go away even if it goes final. I still love her. I don't think there has been PA. We disagree as to whether there has been EA. I believe thre has if she talks to him multiple times daily. I have heard of him thorugh others and he has done this to at least one other women in the past. Calling as much as 20 times/daily. I think that W must be going through MLC. I am still praying and will continue to do so. She did say that if I wanted her back, I was going about it wrong (calling and e-mailing). That was a glimmer of hope. I'll hang in there and pray and hope. I still love her dearly. Pray for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />