Hi Cajunky, just found this thread, took a little searching. I will pray for the situations I have read, and will stay on top of this thread now that I know where it is.

Betrayed and Desperate; remember that the Lord is with you. I went through surgery a few years ago, and I know exactly how you are feeling, but the Lord let me know that He is with me, and I need not have my spouse there. My pastor stayed with me until I went into the OR, and when I awoke, my neighbors were there to see me. It was awesome. The night before, the Lord gave me the most peaceful sleep, and I thought I'd be really upset, He loves us so much, and wants us to know that He is there for us in all things!

I also have a prayer request, I may have shared this in another thread. The Lord has made it clear to me to let my husband know where I stand in our marriage, he lives with OW and has for the past 6 years. I have been waiting more than 7 years. we have had very little contact since he left 7 years ago Nov., my initiative each time. We are not D. I have written a letter, from the heart, to let him know that I believe in the restoration of our M. My prayer is for the Lord to let me know when to send it. I want to be sure it's the Lord's timing, not mine.

Oct 31, Covenant Keepers is having a world wide day of prayer and fasting, for our WS, and the prodigals around the world. I'll keep you informed on this as well.

Thankyou for this thread Cajunky! God Bless and keep all you standers strong and may the Lord open the eyes and hearts of all BS and WS, to be drawn to Jesus, and may we become all that God wants us to be!

To all BS's, don't give up, your miracle could be just around the corner!

"GOD ALWAYS GIVES HIS BEST TO THOSE WHO LEAVE THE COICE WITH HIM!"
Love in Christ, Monika

Please pray for my WH that the Lord will guide him to what is right, and away from what he is doing to himself and to us. Pray that I may become a more patient, understanding and loving person, giving myself up to HIM to take care of, and for my son in his time of need, love and understanding due to this awful situation. Pray that we will be strong, will endure, and will have happiness once again, hopefully with my WH to share it with us.

Thank you everyone, I will pray for all of you too.

Shepette

could you add my marriage to the prayer list. My wife post here from time to time. Pray for restoration and a change of heart and renewed love and desire to stand.

Dear friends,
thank you so much for care.
I really hope everything will finish well.
I still have hope my ex will find a place in his heart for me after those 22 yrs spent together and will come or at least phone me and show that he's caring.
I hope that my thoughts and hopes about restoration of our M will some day brake the ice of his heart what OW and him made.
Maybe I am a fool but the only thing what makes me alive are our daughters and the firm belief that our family will be together again, and if he wants I'll take care of his son and love him like my own daughters.
As a MD I am worried about the surgery and histologycal findings after that but I am more afraid of his coldness, anger, avoiding contact with me.
I hope your prayers will help.
Thank you all and wish you all to be helped.
(sorry my English is not so good these days)
D

Today when I was praying for everyone and everyones needs I had such a peace about me that God was really listening to me and a comfort that he was there.

I guess what I am trying to say is we all lose some of our faith in God sometimes but without God and his mighty ways we would have no hope at all.

Love in Christ
cajunky

HI my friends, I wrote out all the prayer requests this morning in my journal. The pain in all of them is very clear. The prayer we need is for all WS to fall to their knees in repentance. That the Lord will take their hearts of stone, and turn them into hearts of flesh. He is able.
Also that the BS's will be changed to be what the Lord wants us to be. It is so easy when we have been betrayed to get into a "pity party" but that is the devils greatest tool! Do you ever notice that when we are in that "PP" that is the time we have doubts and want to give up? Giving up is exactly what satan wants us to do, so in essence, giving up is giving in to the evil one. We can't allow him to take more than he already has can we?
I understand the feeling of wanting to give up, as I was there a little over a year ago. After 6 years of standing, the doubt was so strong, that I couldn't shake it. God always shows me hope when the slightest doubt comes in, but this time, He allowed me to go through the doubt for more than two weeks. I was depressed, I went to a counselor, I spoke to my pastor, I did everything I could think of to do. The day I spoke to my pastor to find out if I was crazy or not, I recalled all of God's promises to me to restore my marriage. Also the promise I made before my H and the Lord, "til death do we part" It was a covenant and I am to keep it. I realize now that I can live without my H just fine, and I do miss him at times. I am waiting on the Lord, not my H. If I had to wait on my H, I would be in hopelessness! The evening after I spoke to my pastor, the Lord finally showed me some amazing hope. Through a radio program, Focus on the Family, they were talking about Covenant Marriages, I felt the Lord was speaking directly to me, and I wept as He said "My good and faithful servant" some good and faithful servant I was, just about to give up, then He said "It was because you did not give up that I call you a good and faithful servant."
I wept quite a bit that evening, and it was the beginning of an even stronger stand.
During the pain, is when He is molding us and making us who He wants us to be, Praise the Lord!
The changes in myself are amazing to me, and I know as I am being changed, He is working on my WH, to what extent I don't know at this point, but I trust Him. He knows the perfect time, and will restore all the marriages He has promised to do so!
May you not give up, as your miracle could be around the corner! God Bless you all!
Love in Christ, Monika

Notpeachyinga, You asked about fasting, if you have never done it before, just skip a meal, and drink juice or water. It is a sacrifice for us to give up a meal, because our bodies crave food. We are allowing ourselves to be more open to the Lord when we fast. Jesus fasted 40 days and nights. I have never been able to go past 9 days, I still have a hard time with even one day, but as long as you are healthy and the Lord is with you, you should be able to fast a meal at a time, if you can do 24 hours that's great, but make sure you can handle it.
I must clarify, the 9 day fast I did was not a prayer fast, it was a cleansing fast, but during that time, there was a definate closeness to the Lord. A family I know fast every Tuesday after lunch until the Wed lunch therefore it is easier on their children who join them in this, as they can sleep through much of the hunger.
I am still learning about fasting, and don't fast a pray near as much as I should. I pray that the Lord will show all of us when and how long He wants this for us.

Cajunky, I am sorry to hear about your W engagement, but you must remember this is counterfit! Don't lose hope, He is greater, I am praying that the Lord will put a stop to this relationship and that he will allow your W to see the changes in you. That she will be drawn closer to the Lord and that He will show her the truth about covenant marriage!
God Bless,
Love in Christ, Monika

Just recieved this email from Charlene Cares at Rejoice ministries, thought I would share it; </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> IMPORTANCE OF PRAYING

Scripture to Read: Genesis 18 and 19

"Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep
me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
I Chronicles 4:10

This year everyone has heard of Jabez's prayer. I believe that Jabez is showing us that by our righteous living if we will faithfully call
on our Lord God He will bless us. Jabez demonstrates that God's divine blessing and protection do not come automatically, but occur
as the result of our commitment to Him and as a results of our prayers. May you examine your heart about your prayer life. You may be thinking, I do not have time, but we must make time to pray to our Lord God daily. We need to seek His face and His will in every circumstance.

As you read the Bible, notice how many people cried out to their Lord for answers to their problems. Abraham prayed that God would not
destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. God does not overlook sin; He sees every evil, injustice and immorality that are being committed. At the right time, if there is no repentance from sin, God will judge and condemn the people. Our Lord God is a God of love and justice. The very
nature of God requires that wickedness be punished. That is why each of us are standing in the gap for our spouses and our loved ones.
Abraham prayed for the righteous people and God answered his prayers by saving Abraham's family. As you read this story, I pray that you will become burdened about our nation and the world. We each can make a difference by our prayers. I pray that you can see the importance of praying!

"The two men said to Lot, "Do you have anyone else here--sons- in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, because we are going to destroy
this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it." Genesis 19:12-13

Think about Joseph. Joseph was seventeen years old when he was sold into slavery by his others. He spent thirteen years as a slave and three of those years were spent in prison. But God had a plan and purpose for Joseph. God raised him to a position of honor and rulership at the at the age of thirty. Joseph was faithful to his God and knew the importance of prayer.
"Then Joseph said to his brothers, "come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. "So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt." Genesis 45:4-8

May each of us always remember the importance of praying. There is power in praying. God moves mountains of circumstances when we pray.
When you are in distress and do not know what to do, cry out to Him for your answer.

"In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my god for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears." Psalm 17:6

You have a choice today, to become like Moses, Samson, Elijah, Daniel, Jesus, Peter, Paul and many others, who all have shown and taught each of us by their own personal lives the importance of prayer. Only God knows by your prayers what will be accomplished in the future.
If each of us will comprehend the importance of prayer, people will be saved and healed, marriages will being rebuilt on the solid rock
of Jesus Christ, loved ones will be delivered from alcohol, drugs and other sinful lifestyles and our churches will grow into lighthouses for the lost. Let's pray!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Stillwaiting....Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I shared with my SA group last nite that I want to yell at the top of my lungs to my wife "Look how I have changed. I am a much better version of what you had before. I understand so much better and clearer the direction our lives should take."

I got the rejoice ministries e-mail too and it spoke to me very clearly. God is so much bigger than our problems and we just need to lay it before him and he will deal with it.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Please add me to the list. I need prayer too. I held on & did all I could but my H still denies affair. He said I would always throw "it" in his face if we were together & all we do is fight. Yet he adamently denies contact with her when I know for sure otherwise. I am angry he never gave our marriage a real chance.

If I were to ask for it all, it would be that his eyes are opened to her manipulations & lies, that he sees the truth & will reject her & be repulsed by her. That all contact with OW will stop forever. That he acknowledges his own wrongdoing to himself & God & will want to make ammends. That he would come home to me and our home and our marriage, THIS TIME with an honest and truthful heart, willing to work on our marriage for real and work to regain my trust.

I myself am hurting too much to let go and too scared of being hurt any further. I feel lost. I dont know what the right thing to say or do is anymore. People say "whatever is meant to be". But I wish that this would not be so dragged out. Its been 1 & 1/2 yrs now. If I am being shown the signs I wish I could recognize them!! I am not seeing them & dont know what my path in life is to be. Help!!

To Betrayed & Desperate: I hope your surgery will go smoothly & that the labs will all be negative. I had a large mass detected on my left ovary when I was having pain & because my mother died of breast cancer by age 40, the Dr. felt very much it COULD be cancerous. Therefore they would not do a biopsy. I had to go in for surgery not knowing if I would just have one ovary & tube removed or have cancer needing a total hysterectomy. Pathologist was there in surgery along with General Surgeon just in case. Thank god it turns out its Endometriosis (though doctor had said it wasnt this before surgery). She cleaned out the scar tissue stuff. But I have a vertical scar from the bellybutton down now. I did not actually have much pain at all but the incision is pretty scary for the first several weeks. I found it very hard to get up, sit down etc & could NOT bend over. About the 7th week, I was much more mobile. I had CT scan of pelvis & abdomen beforehand as well as the CA125 blood test with a score of 90.

My H was at Hospital a few days but after I was home, he was not around. Contact your friends & have them come by & visit & maybe cook something for you for those 6 weeks or so. Or save stuff in the freezer before hand. Take it easy. Look at the surgery as a precautionary measure. I pray all goes well for you.

oops. Not sure why it keeps posting twice. Please pray for me that I will know & recognize what the right thing to say & do is, WITHOUT ANY DOUBTS!! I want a positive sign so much, but I dont see any. I feel dragged downhill & downtrodden. I have no endurance left in me, that old brick wall has won. (and it seems OW wins my H, in his blindness of what she really is).
I want my H back so much, but with him loving ME & being truthful & honest with nothing to hide & dedication to our marriage and a spiritual guidance & indebtedness.

<small>[ October 23, 2002, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: AgainstTheWind ]</small>

Againstthewind,
we feel your pain and frustration, you are in the company of friends who what the very best for your marriage as well. I wish there was a magic wand that would take it all away, but I or you can not. But what you can do is not give in, give up until your marriage is restored. I was once your husband, in denial to the hurt i caused, but it is real and I pray he would see just how real it is. Hold on to the promises of GOD, pray for your spouse, pray for yourself, pray for your marriage, but most importantly talk to GOD. When you are hurting and there seems to be no one around believe GOD is there with you, in the midst of all you are going through he has not left you or forsaken you, he is fighting with you and not against you.

cajunky, still waiting, againstthewind and all other friends

thank you for your prayers and encouraging words of hope. I am realy in limbo. one day I want it all over to never wake up after surgery and the other I believe that would not be invasive cancer and my ex will come back to me, we'll forget these few bad yrs.... but I am aware fairy tales are not for real
SW I'll never give up for my M cause after all those hard words, yrs I still love our daughters, him, his neverseen baby and want us to be together again.
Thank you all
D

Thanks everyone who prays for us on this board. Last night I finally found the courage to address some issues with WH. I had been so full of fear, but as I was talking to him I asked God to put the words in my mouth that I should say. It wasn't what I planned but it was what I was supposed to say.

I'll post a separate topic cuz I would like some feedback from MBr's
God Bless

If anyone gets the time to look up an old post of mine under poems, read the song my friend wrote, "I Will Wait", it will encourage you!

Jonah and Cajunky, I must let you know that you are more of an encouragement than you both realize. Knowing that you were both in the position of my WH is exciting to me, as I know that he will wake up out of the fog one day as you have. I'm glad I am still here for him. In fact Jonah, the Lord had me read the book of Jonah the day I found out about the A and I know that my WH is running from the Lord and myself. He just hasn't been swallowed my the whale yet! I pray that your wives will come to the realization soon of the mistakes they are making by not giving you the chance. Keep praying, they will wake up! God is faithful in all He does, and He listens, and He answers our prayers!

Against the Wind, hang in there, He is able to do anything, look what He has done in the lives of Cajunky and Jonah! He is going to cleanse you and work on you while you are going through this, welcome it, because down the road you will look back and be thankful. I know that the future looks gloomy right now, but you need to keep your focus on Jesus, not the storm around you. The circumstances will give you doubt and fear, and those are not of God! I will pray that your WH comes to his senses, and opens his eyes to the truth, that the Lord will make a new man out of him! I say it again, He is able! I've printed out the last few posts and will keep them in my bible to pray for you!

Betrayed and desperate, The Lord is faithful, and will honor your wait! I will pray for your surgery that the Lord will be with you & the Surgeons and all those around you, that all will go smooth, and that there will not be any C.

God Bless you all, your in my prayers.
Love in Christ, Monika

If anyone gets the time to look up an old post of mine under poems, read the song my friend wrote, "I Will Wait", it will encourage you!

Jonah and Cajunky, I must let you know that you are more of an encouragement than you both realize. Knowing that you were both in the position of my WH is exciting to me, as I know that he will wake up out of the fog one day as you have. I'm glad I am still here for him. In fact Jonah, the Lord had me read the book of Jonah the day I found out about the A and I know that my WH is running from the Lord and myself. He just hasn't been swallowed my the whale yet! I pray that your wives will come to the realization soon of the mistakes they are making by not giving you the chance. Keep praying, they will wake up! God is faithful in all He does, and He listens, and He answers our prayers!

Against the Wind, hang in there, He is able to do anything, look what He has done in the lives of Cajunky and Jonah! He is going to cleanse you and work on you while you are going through this, welcome it, because down the road you will look back and be thankful. I know that the future looks gloomy right now, but you need to keep your focus on Jesus, not the storm around you. The circumstances will give you doubt and fear, and those are not of God! I will pray that your WH comes to his senses, and opens his eyes to the truth, that the Lord will make a new man out of him! I say it again, He is able! I've printed out the last few posts and will keep them in my bible to pray for you!

Betrayed and desperate, The Lord is faithful, and will honor your wait! I will pray for your surgery that the Lord will be with you & the Surgeons and all those around you, that all will go smooth, and that there will not be any C.

God Bless you all, your in my prayers.
Love in Christ, Monika

Stillwaiting....Thanks for the compliment. I just wish my wife was willing to stand for our marriage like you are. I guess I want all the BS here to see what God can do with someones life when they decide to let God have it all. I know how the BS hurts by our actions but keep in mind that it is satan that has a hold of our lives and only God can dig in the heart and turn it around.

Yes, God has really changed my way of life but I am so thankful I listened on July, 26 of 2001 when I decided that I was going to have a "New Beginning" with myself. I have told my wife that I can't change the past(although I wish I could) but what I do with the future is what I want to focus on. I just wish my wife would elect to share the good new future with me.

Love in Christ
Cajunky

<small>[ October 24, 2002, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Cajunky, have you told your wife that you are standing for your marriage? Does she know that you still love her? Fill me in if you can...
God Bless, Monika

Yes, I have told her I am standing for our marriage a lot of times. In fact I have sent her some of the e-mails from rejoice ministries that really touch me.
I tell her all the time that I still love her. Before I hang up on phone I tell her. In fact I went to eat with my daughter at school and had to run by her apartment to give her some of the kids clothes and we had some conversation and I looked her right in the eyes and told her I loved her. When I drop kids off after being with me and she is with the guy she is seeing I flash the "I LOVE YOU" sign language sign at her. She kind of smiled and nodded last weekend. She knows I love her dearly but she just can't commit to me again because she is scared. I ask God all the time to show me how I can earn her trust back and hopefully I am doing that.

If she would just give me a true chance again and we could get some counseling to get us past some of the issues and to help us regain some of the dialogue and trust I know we could make it with God by our side. It is out of my hands now and she has to be the one to want to put the family back together. I just can't stop believing that if she would make that commitment God would bless our family ten fold. God knows what is in my heart now and how my life has changed in wanting to do his will all the time now. I just pray that God will show her what he sees in me now.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Wow Cajunky, I am sure that know matter how scared she is, that she will see your consistancy toward her. God is faithful, I'm sure He will speak to her heart, patience is the only answer, other than prayer of course. I'll write again later, just rushing off to a community prayer meeting. God Bless, Monika