Not only has stbxh, Austin Powers renewed his license to shag, he has sunk even lower than I ever dreamed he would have done and not as a husband but as a father.

Last night I experienced yet another D day. That was bad enough. Learned of the existence of another woman and the facts how OW is bringing her very small son, age two, over to stbx's home, the one I built with him. After the confrontation on the phone with stbx about this, I went into the master bedroom closet for a good cry while son was watching a movie downstairs and having a snack before bed. As I was tucking son into his bunk bed he told me this: "mommy, john (we will call this child John) sleeps on the top bunk while I sleep on the bottom bunk". I said, "who sleeps where?". Turns out that not only is this OW bringing her son over but the child is sleeping over in the same room as my son. I then asked if in the morning John was there and if his mommy was there too. HE REPLIED YES. THERE AT BREAKFAST. I was soooooo floored. Spent a sleepless night tossing and turning. Not only are we NOT divorced yet, but Austin is now breaking the very ground rules we set in the first place. We had decided that nobody was to spend the night in the same house as our child during visitation. And that unless a remarriage situation was pending that no contact with other people's children is going to happen either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

This other woman is something else. Allowing casual relationships in full view of her son and mine as well. And his own father. He is a liar, liar, liar.

His dad is doing the usual thing now. Spin and blame. He should go to work for our x president as his press secretary. He is now saying that I don't know whatI am talking about and that our son needs to go to a counselor. Spin and blame. That is his only defense.

Our son is now possibly going to be involved in a revolving door of women and their offspring. How in the heck can anybody do this to their own child? Let's take me out of the picture as still the wife ok. Let's just look at this as a parent would. What is his problem? I know it is fog, but I am more than angry now. I don't want anything to do with him. Not at all. As I am typing this, it is forty five minutes before son's karate class. He did not drop off karate uniform at the door on the knob as he promised. I am emailing a letter concerning this to my attorney. Guess he was too busy with new mistress packing for the carribbean to think of dropping off his son's uniform. He makes me sick. I cried and cried during the night last night. My stomach just ached so hard that I dry heaved about two in the morning. Last night I noticed the marked change that again happens after his father drops son off after a visitation. My heart is broken for what my precious boy has to endure. My sister called this morning early and I went upstairs away from son to talk with her. She was in shock. Agreed that I needed to contact attorney asap. She cried with me over the phone. She said that if this had happened to her she probably wouldn't be sane at this point.

I don't think this new affair with this new OW, whom I am now going to dub Ms. Family Values, or June Cleaver. I don't know which name to dub this new gem. It is hilarious almost when last night over the phone with Austin when he said he was a great father and that he was dating her and maybe seeing others but that she was a GOOD mother and responsible too. Let's nominate them for the annual Fog Awards. Oh, and on the phone last night, Austin said that "do you remember when you said you'd accept anybody but Ms. Monkeyho?" "Well this is someone else and not her". Ha ha ha ha ha. The brain of the fog victim is so clueless.

I need advice for a formal B letter. Or do I need one really now at all? After all I will be divorced in two months. I personally told him that unless he changed and found God and turned his life around permanently, that this was the last time he'd hear my voice in person unless it was on a voice mail. And that I was not going to ever allow him to drop off son in person at my home again. I have decided that the Austin Powers movies are actually funny and now that a new morally defunct mistress has entered the foggy picture that I shall now call my wayward husband DEUCE BIGALOW, MALE GIGOLO. Deucey. We'll call him Deucey for short now.

Oh, and on thurs. night before this astounding revelation, Deucey asked if he could bring over son and put him to sleep in his bed here. I said no. He kept asking if I had a date and I said none of your business. I didn't but that is not anything for him to know about anyway. He then said, "come on you can tell me". I said no. He then said "what is the big deal then if I come over and put him to sleep in his bed upstairs if you don't have plans?" He doesn't get it. That was also his old game. To bring over son or to attempt to come over after son was asleep to try to pull that male gigolo stuff and attempt to get funky with me again. No. Not ever. My goodness I don't even want to lay eyes on tht man again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

He's had the best--me. Now he has to deal with the rest of those out there. And it is a scary world. And when January rolls around, I will be a new woman, albeit a responsible woman. Will not compromise my integrity with regard to my precious son ever, but will begin to date and will begin to get on with life. We shall see how Deucey likes it. The new me is on the way. And I am getting tougher too. I am not going to take this new horror of a reality for my child lying down. He is not going to do this in front of my child anymore. No no no no no. How can anybody possibly explain this away? Explain how first they dissolve their marriage for another woman who then dumps him. Next finds a mother teresa of a woman who is a single mom with a very young child who doesn't think it is a big deal to spend the night with a strange new man and have her son and the man's son fully aware of the situation.

IS IT JUST ME OR HAS HE TOTALLY BECOME OUT OF CONTROL AS A MAN AND AS A PARENT? What should I do? I can't reason with this man. I can only legally attempt to protect my son and will continue to be strong and to just listen and be there as the stable parent.

I am going to go to the gym and attempt to work off this stress later today. I just want to run outside and scream now. Just scream. How dare him. How dare him. Something just broke inside of me this morning. My emotions have run the full gamut from sadness to feelings of betrayal to outright rage to this non repentant man. A shell of the man I knew once. The way I feel now, I won't be able to even sit in the same auditorium with this man when our son has school plays or at the same ball park when our son has sports games. I don't want ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY STBX ANYMORE. And yet some part of me is still hurt, still sad that all this has happened. I didn't deserve it. Our son didn't deserve it.

I haven't done as Deucey has done and dated because I wanted to do things right for my son. Wanted to end this as a lady. And I am indeed very attractive. I won't have trouble dating as soon as the papers are signed. For almost two years now I've lived as a diamond lost in the dirt. You don't know it's a diamond because it is hidden. But not much longer. I am going to start life over and stronger. I am not going to let this man keep me or my son down any longer. And I will do whatever it takes to stand up for the welfare of my child. Deucey has had his fun. Now it is time to face the consequences of his sin and selfish actions. He will have to face responsibility for this now in both daily life and in the legal respect. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

It is finished. It is over. Dear God please forgive them for they do not know what they do. Please keep praying for us. I am now 100 percent finished with this marriage. It is hopelessly broken beyond repair. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Peachy!

I am mortified!

But, please try and get evidence of this as it can really help your case - maybe you can get him to admit it on a taped phone conversation or through e-mail. At this point, you have to have your survival instincts kick in.

Remember that what he is doing IS NOT GOOD AND NOT NORMAL - and that woman who is bringing her son over is just using your WH. She is NOT a good role model for her son. I am just shocked!

Well, actually not schocked at WH behavior - they are sliding down the wrong road - and it gets easier and easier to justify in their minds the more they do it. It still doesn't make it right, but in their warped world - well, they are just flying by the seat of their pants.

Just stick to your guns. Your son is really too young to know the true ramifications of what is happening over there but at least when he's older you can tell him that you never did anything like that and he'll see the difference between you two.

I know how you feel. WH slept over at OW's while we were married and then she moved into his house with all of her stuff before they were married - he said they slept in separate beds - but what kind of example is that for the kids?

Not a good one for sure. But one day they will be able to put two and two together.

I am so sorry for the pain that these revelations have caused you.

Just stay the course.

May God Send Many Blessings Your Way Today, K

Peachy, YUCK!!! You don't deserve this man.

Do you have the 'sleep over' agreement in your separation documents? Is it in the tentative divorce documents? If not, there's probably very little you can do about it. Sorry.

Also, please remember that, though you didn't ask for this life, you may not want to rush into dating too soon. Even though you realize what a schmuck deucy is, take some time to heal your heart before you jump into dating. You, too, are setting an example.

((((((((((((((((((peachy and your son)))))))))))))

As far as a plan b letter, Steve Harley suggested to me that when all the arrangements were made & finalized, then go to plan b with the letter & all.

I'm at the librayr now & headed oput to soccer championship in a few minutes. Have you written a plan b letter? gotta run,,

God Bless,

D.

Thank you buddies. I have emailed attorney for her opinion. And I will have the sleep over arrangements written into the divorce agreement or we will be slinging it out in court instead of settling.

And I don't deserve this man. He is awful. I am not jealous of this new woman. Just sad that she is so loose to do this in front of my son and her child. And that he thinks this is ok. It's not like we haven't discussed this situation before and he was in agreement with me on this situaiton. But just like everything else, he lies. He is a horrible liar. I am so sick of this.

I just pray and pray every day that he wakes up and finds God. That somehow my prayers and the prayers of my friends and family will reach the ears of God and that the Holy Spirit will somehow find a way to reach down and penetrate that armor wH is wearing. It hurts me so much to see all of this unfold. I just want to know why it always seems to happen around the holiday time. For the last three years, I have experienced another d day. For just one year, I want a happy holiday season. No more unwanted roller coaster rides. No more.

Any other woman he chooses is NOT the real mother of his son. And this other woman is not of the moral caliber I am. As he goes to sleep with her at night, this has to cross his mind. He will just keep on going down this road of personal and moral destruction until either God's love finally wakes him up or a horrible barrier is placed before him that God will use for him to wake him up. It is so awful. I am so sick of this happening.

I never wanted this kind of life. I wanted three kids, a loving husband. A loving family life and wanted to one day when God called me home after living a long life to be surrounded by my children and husband. This has been the world's longest nightmare. I have never felt this hurt or angry at the same time. I was so angry about his affair with Ms. MOneky and his first affair three years ago with Ms. Nurse Hot Pants. Now there is the new one--Ms. Family Values. And there are probably more women. What is one more betrayal? What is one more mistress at this point? What is one more jump in the hay with another woman? I don't care anymore because it is so broken. Our vows are laughable. I used to want to see him change so we could have the chance for reconciliation.

I am going to legally deal with this now and leave the rest totally up to God. You can't begin to understand the way I feel this morning. I wanted him to change so much. I have prayed for him for three years now. No change. Nothing. Guess I am feeling like my prayers haven't worked too well. I know God has listened because if it weren't for HIm in my life, I would have given up this time last year. And it is so funny. Last year over thanksgiving, he took son and Ms. Monkeyho on a trip to disneyworld and they stayed at same hotel we went on our honeymoon. He likes to really do this around thanksgiving it seems. What is sad was we got engaged on thanksgiving day. I would have never taken that ring if I knew he would have morphed into this kind of man. I would have thrown the turkey at him and walked away that day seven years ago. Walked away and never looked back. He has put this family through so much and doesn't take any responsibility for any of it. Says that it was my fault. All of it. That I wasn't a good wife. Or whatever. Just excuses. If any of them had been valid, he could have discussed them with me and we could have sought solutions to our dilemmas together instead of trying to get into the Guinness Record book as the man who has slept with most women while married. The difference between this year and last year is I REALIZE THAT IT IS NOT MY FAULT ANYMORE. I used to so blame myself for any shortcomings. Again, he's the master of blame and spin. Spin the real fault and accuse the innocent party of an imagined crime.

He did not bring his son's uniform over so we were unable to go to the karate class. He is irresponsible. I don't get it at all. None of this awfulness makes any sense whatsoever. Like a senseless crime. The images in my mind are so vivid. Keep us in prayer today as we try to deal with this new situation and just have a quiet and good weekend together, my son and I.

What would happen if you got a second uniform for your son so he wouldn't loose out this way again. The world wouldn't end if he had to wear the white belt they came with for one class. That might be better than not getting to go at all.

BTW, my 9yo son got his orange belt last night. His dad, who pays for karate, had a church thing to do and didn't go. Brought the children to my office and I took the child to graduation.

I already emailed Deucey and told him that if I don't receive the uniform before monday's class that I was buying another one. He had already asked me to buy the first uniform and said he would pay me back. He didn't but I let that slide. I told him if I have to buy the second uniform also, then I expect full reimbursement. And congrats to your son. That is so good.

I have finally calmed down a little bit. Son is eating lunch and I am somewhat calming down. Emailed attorney again and left computer on for last several hours.

This is so awful. D Day #12989, or close enough as I figure it to be. I wonder if he has a prescription for viagra or something.

I am aching and sore all over. Hurting literally in my muscles. Feel like I need to rest. I will try to go to the gym about three o clock. Later tonight I may take son out to see a movie at a nearby dollar theater. Good first runs for only a dollar and in a nice end of town too. Several children's movies showing. Thanks guys for helping me overcome this awful feeling that happens when I get unwillingly sucked in to riding the roller coaster of adultery again. I am off of it now and safely in the protection of plan b.

Still any ideas if I should send a formal plan b letter via email. He has his laptop with him on his exotic trip....Or should I just go into the b having given him the verbal warning of what would follow as of today. He is a classic cake eater. He wanted to enroll son in karate to suck me back in. To be able to find a way to talk to me and have me somehow. Now that I have uncovered his new sexploits he suddenly is mia and doesn't drop off the karate uniform. Yep. Karate was a ploy probably too. Suddenly with no contact comes no uniform. Guess he'll stop paying for the lessons too. But I am going to go until they tell me it hasn't been paid and if I can afford it I will do that for my sweet boy. Just think. Two weeks ago he was saying to me that "who knows after the d...Some have worked things out and reconciled later on." All the while was lying saying that and had another woman waiting in the wings. This is the fourth confirmed ow I know of now. I am just unable to process it. One of the four was a one nighter I t hink. But this new one is something else. She sees the nice home, the nice money. The setup. She hasn't yet seen the writing on the wall. That this man is soon to be ending his second marriage. Both marriages failed because of his blatant and unrepentant adultery to both of his wives. She is in for the ride of her life should she not get wise and move on. Without God entering this man's life, he has no hope whatsoever for a good life.

I hope it rains the whole time in st. lucia. Oh well, next spring I am going on a trip by myself somewhere. That trip we can call "how peachy got her groove back". Oh, and my son's crab died today too. One more disaster brought on by Deuce Bigalow married male gigolo.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{peachy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Im so sorry. It seems that the discoveries are never ending and I know the pain. Just remember to do what is right in the eyes of God for you and your son. That includes legal maneuvers to protect your son.

My 4 kids are so much older (youngest is 15) and now they are at the point where they are looking back on their young lives and seeing the double life H has been living all along and not liking it one bit,

They have pretty much shut H out of their life and H is not liking it. Of course, Im turning kids against him. You know the routine. I thought this would be my H's rock bottom, but I guess not. Still waiting for more trouble, just praying God will take care of us.

Ill pray for you too.

Yes, Peachy. You NEED to do a Plan B letter.

If you are in Plan B, as your earlier post said, then you need to communicate to your WH what you are doing. Else, he will become confused ... (i.e., contact one day and no contact the next).

In essence, a Plan B letter is a love letter, it tells the WS how you still love them but it's dwindling fast. That you take responsibility for your part. That you're going to require no contact and explain what you would require in order to rebuild a NEW marriage - example: ditch all the Monkey-Ho's and commit. But don't actually say that. Hee hee. Please compose one and place it here and we will critique it. K?

I'm very sorry for your recent discovery, Hon. I will say your H is definitely searching, and doesn't seem to really grasp the idea of what his illegitimate and immoral searching activities affects are on your son, or on you for that matter. When in the affair mode, they are pretty much oblivious to anyone's feelings but their own. Major TAKER mode.

Good thing you are posting here and not LB'ing your H.

You see, Peachy ... as a third party I can see that your H's "lifestyle" (for lack of a better word), will be short lived. Fast track gets old FAST, and there will come a time that he will reflect on what he and you have or had. If you LB, that's all he'll have to reflect on, and will consider your marriage an unsafe place to return. Just my very humble opinion.

I know the things he has done are horrindous and indescribeably hurtful, read my sig line and you can see I DO KNOW. But if you want to follow Harley's plan, I'm just trying to help you do that.

I'm very sorry for all this, truly. Please continue to come here and vent and scream and cry .... we will be here.

Love,
Jo

<small>[ November 23, 2002, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

(((Oh Peachy)))

My heart breaks for you, and your boy .What you both have been through is too much !!
Try to get something in your paperwork about your son not being around Any ow,while the divorce is going through.Thats what I did,but after the divorce they don't have any protection(according to my attorney)to keep children away from OP *here.
But I'm looking into that,there has to be away around that even after the divorce..which is final Feb/March.Time is flying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

never wanted this kind of life. I wanted three kids, a loving husband. A loving family life and wanted to one day when God called me home after living a long life to be surrounded by my children and husband. This has been the world's longest nightmare. I have never felt this hurt or angry at the same time.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I will be praying that it RAINS LIKE CRAZY WHILE HE'S ON HIS TRIP <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I hope and pray our WS hit there walls and wake up before it's too late.
Once I'm able to move on 100%,I never want to look back.And Ironicly thats probly when WS comes to his senses!! Someday they will KNOW WHAT THEY'VE LOST,and how it has really affected there families.This is not your fault!!You have stood by him,prayed for him while he was hurting you.

I don't understand it,how can people(WS)...You thought LOved you,vowed to be with you for life.Walk away,not care..NOT CARE Really about anything but themselves.
The person you thought would be holding your hand as you take your last breath.

Court is not fun and it drains alot out of you,so please take care.Do investigations if needed to show his life style...we get to have one of these done Dec/11th then a home visit investigation.

take care!!!!

Thanks guys. Thank you resilient and mary. You are so sweet. Your prayers are helping tonight. Son is settling in to sleep in front of fireplace tonight.

I am so exhausted emotionally now. I love my son so much and cannot believe this. Deep down I always thought he really loved his son. That he would have somehow just been a good dad. Tried to be a good dad but I was so wrong. I don't know to do anything except take legal measures pre emptively and pray. That is all. He is a selfish man and I am just sick thinking about who he is now.

I have to go folks...I can't hold my eyes open anymore.

Thank you for your prayers. God bless you too and know I pray for all of you here. I am so blessed to have such good friends. Thank you for the support. Sometimes I feel so alone here. Really alone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ February 03, 2003, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: Sauron ]</small>

Hey Peachy - It's very late and I had a great post back to you, but somehow I lost it ( it was that second glass of wine I think... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) but basically I just wanted to let you know that you are one heck of a person, your story is incredible, and you have dealt with it all with a strength that is to be commended. And you have kept your sense of humor intact - no small achievement in such a circumstance. The previous advice you recieved is great, nothing I can add, but I wanted to let you know how proud I was of you - you're a class act kiddo.

{{{{{{peachy}}}}}}}

Thanks my friends. God bless you for just helping me keep the faith and somehow keep my chin up. Today was a bit better. Slept ok last night. I have been cleaning house and doing lots of laundry. Staying busy to keep my mind off of this junk.

No word from Deucey and no reply from my email I sent him last telling him that I wasn't going to be able to see or speak to him anymore. But I am ok with that. I am going to slowly start writing the new b letter. And it is so hard b/c when I told him my feelings about the new OW and her son coming over to play w/my son, he just gets so angry at me. Angry why? Because I am right..Because I want to keep our son as untouched by this sin as possible. So I am just going to do a good b. He knows I am a good person. And if I did LB at all when I confronted him on Fri. night, it was through tears and anyone could see that my heart is a caring one. But albeit how i used to feel, I can't allow myself any contact anymore.

My son has his best friend, age five and next door neighbor's son over and they've been playing for about two hours allowing me to shampoo the carpets upstairs and take myself a bubble bath. Next we are off to grocery for the holiday stuff. I am baking four pies this week, one spinach artichoke dip, and some awesome corn dressing. Let's see this new gal, Ms. Family Values try to out cook me. Heck, I don't really care. Another affair doomed as far as I am concerned. It is his thing to deal with. And he has to one day face God about it. But I will end what is legally left of this marriage with my dignity intact, pure, and able to face my future head on.

I am still somewhat teary. Last night before falling asleep I just cried again. Son came in room later and crawled in bed with me but I didn't realize it until this morning. He is sooo cute. This morning, after he woke up we ate breakfast. He always says his blessing before eating and after his prayer he says, he blurted out, "God will change daddy's heart." I walked out of the room because I got teary again. Even my four year old son knows something is wrong with his father without my even saying any word at all.

And in reading GIIC's posts earlier, it is occurred to me that maybe Deucey is looking for a mommy/wife/hired help substitute now. And all he basically saw me as was a person to have physical relations with, someone to cook and clean and take care of our child. That is it. I wasn't in his eyes good enough to even be friends with anymore. I just cannot allow any more to think about this. And unlike when he met ms. monkeyho, I am NOT PLEADING OR CALLING OR BEGGING THIS TIME. Nope. Nothing. He knows who I am. He knows what I look like. He knows I am the mother of his child. The new one will LB too. And her child is NOT HIS CHILD. So that will throw a bit of a monkeywrench, pardon the word monkey being used, into the pile of steaming poop.

I am bearing with things but barely. I am determined to look my very best this holiday season and am going to go out and get a few extra outfits. I haven't bought anything new in almost a year. Am getting a Christmas bonus and will buy son more clothes and me some too. Oh, son's crab died and tomorrow we are getting a goldfish. I am going to look so good on the day the d is final and if there is any revenge to be had, it will be mine. I will leave this so called union a lady of the finest caliber on the inside and a babe on the outside. He will have to deal with that.

And it is almost two years since I found out of affair w/ms. monkey which led me to file fourteen months ago. I think it is time to move on in january. We shall see how it will feel to him knowing that I will have a life. That I will actively pursue dating again. And either one day before it is too late he will find out wht he has lost or I will be so far ahead of him moving on with my life that it will not matter anymore. One day it may be me being the one that just sees him as the "biological father of my child" instead of seeing the man I vowed to God I would be with till death parts us. I think 2003 is going to be an interesting year for me. Know it is going to be uncharted territory for him, Mr. Deuce Bigalow, Carribbean Stud and Male Gigolo. Can't wait until that two year old pulls a two year old stunt at my old house...That is one of Deucey's biggest pet peeves. Kids going wild and doing silly kid things...Oh can just see the crayons on the wall and the messy toy room. He's in for some fun with a kid that is not even his...

So glad you are feeling much better today. Read my post, we seem to have our minds in the same place today. Keep up the good work.

H had the nerve to want to come here for TkyDay

I said, "guess again" no turkey for that sorry bird. I guess his crotch cricket cant cook either. He can spend it with his dysfunctional mother.

Keep up the good work!!!!!

love ya, D

LOL Sunrise!

Crotch Cricket????

LOL--Crotch Cricket!!??!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That one I'll remember!!! My WH is "sadly" going to visit his long lost cousin (recently rediscovered) for Turkey Day - he too thought we could do the traditional wonderful holiday deal with the grown kids and show them how "civilized" their parents could be handling their divorce...I told him where he could stuff his turkey...didn't mean to LB, but you know, sometimes it just is to good to pass up!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Peachy,
Your strength is inspiring to everyone here. My prayers are with you.