Thanks

Bryan,

I think deciding to date and then get remarried was the best thing for my kids. It all depends on the situation. In my first marriage, all 3 of my children saw my ex be extremely physically abusive. He was also verbally abusive to the kids. He is also an alcoholic and drug addict. My 2 older sons (ages 13 and 10) remember all of this. My youngest is almost 6 but was only 2 1/2 when his father left. Thank God he doesn't remember all of the fighting! They all have developed their own type of relationship with their step-father. My oldest still doesn't completely trust him, but that's a slow process for him. My youngest wants to call his step-father "Dad". Now, even though his biological father has nothing to do with him, I don't let him. Occassionally, he'll call him dad when they're playing or something, but usually it's just when his 2 step-brothers are around. He just wants to have someone to call dad. I always remind him that Terry is his step-father and Bob is his dad.

Someone said something about the biological kids getting less attention than the step-kids. That's not the case in my household. We have rules for all 5 boys to follow and they all get the same punishment if they break a rule. Also we save the really fun stuff to do when all 5 boys are with us. And if someone needs extra attention, they get it. We decided this before we got married. Believe me, it's saved a lot of arguments! LOL

My children and my step-children haven't seen me and my husband argue (because we have never argued). We discuss things when the children are either in bed or not around. My youngest son told my parents that Terry and I fight all the time. He thinks that when we're playing around and wrestling, we're fighting. I'm so glad that he doesn't remember what real fighting is like.

Blended families can be very beneficial for kids. Especially if the step-parent is willing to be a partner in taking care of the kids. And even more so, if the kids don't have one of their biological parents around.

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

For personal reasons, I feel strongly the other way. Had my XW followed this rule, I never would have known my step-daughter.
And now that you're divorced, she has another very important person in her life taken away from her.

Kids as wonderful as they are...can not in anyway
shape or form meet most of the needs I have, and I don't plan on putting them in that situation, where they feel it's their responsibility to meet my needs..or support me totally emotionally.
But fulfilling THEIR NEEDS SHOULD BE NUMBER 1 in your list of priorities! Getting your nedds fulfilled should be a far second to theirs.

Chris..

Exactly my point as well! Well said!

Bryan

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Chris (CA123):
<strong>For personal reasons, I feel strongly the other way. Had my XW followed this rule, I never would have known my step-daughter.
And now that you're divorced, she has another very important person in her life taken away from her.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How so? I am still very much a part of her life. I haven't been "taken away" at all! Are you suggesting that it would be better if I'd never been a part of her life?