Triggers for me. Harleys (x mistress ), rap music (his new 25 year old live in), hummers (stupid midlife crisis get a girl younger than 25 car), disneyworld and anything disney (where we went on our honeymoon and where he lied and took with son and x mistress last year), the date of 9/11 which is the day on 2001 that I yes, filed for divorce the first time.

I too pray for indifference.

Remember the Bible says to not cast your pearls before swine. And my x is definitely swine material. I try to remember that bit of wisdom before I ever interact with him. He is not worth my pearls anymore. Think of a pearl as a piece of your personality. Your humor. Your love. Your smile. Are they worthy? No. Think who is. Our children. Our family. Our friends.

They help us find even more pearls to string <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

just checking in tonight to see how everyone's doing.

{{{broken}}} I recently found out that my STBXH was bragging to the 4 teenaged boys that were living with me when he left to move in with OW that he had sex with OW in the morning and with me in the afternoon. Not only is this humiliating, it's disgusting since I was the "mother-figure" for these boys and the OW was only a couple of years older than the oldest of them.

Vega, I like a dry red, especially if it's cheap! But, your weekend with your kids sounds sweeter than wine, uh oh, if feel a song coming on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ...

{{{Lora}}} Today I worked a little in the morning, met with one of my consultants, went back to the gym for the first time since I broke my ankle in September (has it been that long) and it felt great, then I went with a friend to see a movie, The Hours (really good, but heavy, I'd definitely recommend it), and then came home and went for a horseback ride with my bf... I haven't had such a full life in years.

I haven't seen my STBXH in close to a year, but for the 2.5 years prior, my life was focused totally on trying to get him back despite almost constant verbal and emotional abuse, while at the same time learning to run our business alone. The 2 years before that was consumed with breast cancer, mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, and breast reconstruction.

So, what is it that I think I'm missing? Let's smash those rose colored glasses, what do you say?

notpeachy, the Al-Anon program which I attend 3-4 days a weeks talks about detachment with love not indifference. I understand how you feel, I know how much your H has hurt you, mine too, but for me indifference has always been a polite front for anger, and anger just keeps me attached. This is something I'm working on, I'm definitely not there yet.

Lora, Peach, LetSTry - Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel better this morning, it was just another hurt to deal with and I needed to vent. You're right, there can't be much in your life to brag about if all you have is that to brag on...how sick and sad.

This morning my 17 year old daughter came to me and asked for me to make an appointment with a counselor, she is feeling very depressed. I think that took alot of maturity and courage for her to do. I'm calling one this morning before I go to work. Interesting that this request comes on the heels of a visit with her father.
She always comes home moody and, well, I guess angry is the best word to describe it. I've been worried about her.

Thanks for the reminder of the pearls before swine...I hadn't thought of that passage in a long time and it is so true...I want to give my best to the people who truely love me and I them.
Thanks everybody <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> - hope the day is a good one for all.