Every Wed. we are to pray and fast for one another. Every Weds we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better.

Right now I am doing "Experiencing God Day by Day" and Lupolady is doing "Power of a Praying Wife" for the ladies. You can use this as your prayer or have your own or combine them.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us.

If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: cajunky,Ezra, Willgetthruthis, Godisincontrol, Natasha79, JohnC, c++_guy, Wallace, relady, steadfast and committed, morriggs,lupolady, stillwaiting, Broken Hearted, PasDeDeux, hopeful_person,GinnyF, Not peachy in Ga, cry2much,SNL,LostAgain(Dave&April), Dodger, gloriachu, LoveNcare,JMF,WEN, NiteHawk, Absurd, LetSTry,AgainsttheWind,cemmerson, getting better,kellidiane,Terrified, BeeLee,idostylin, Resilient, thiscantbehappening, day by day, Jloves, broken x3, Sue with Hope, sunrise1, shepette, Malc, Faithfulwife, timbo-e,Angelia,FeelingAllAlone,broken_joe,dopey,awake,truly a friend, Is it to late, stilltryingtosaveit, landslide,GODBLESSU,vega,LoyalWarrior,janna-m-r,ferbie,epiphOny,simmy,cajeanie,d_rose,lost_lonely, briank4775, mayflower,Caged_Bird,LunaDove

Prayers Answered: Lupolady(air conditioner),Steadfastandcommitted(first string again),cry2much(sucessful surgery), Movingonwithlife(Wife coming home),WGTT(accepted into mentor program), betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery),Againstthewind(Got job), Free ( Marriage Restoration begun ), cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me), Stillwaiting(neice is o.k.), Stillwaiting(Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened), Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man and said steadfast is stuck with her. God showed her the change was for real in steadfast),janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS), tsc (marriage being restored)

Love in Christ
Cajunky

<small>[ April 14, 2003, 11:14 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Cajunky, et al.,

Hope I'm doing this right as this is my first post. Please include me and my wife in the Wed. prayers. We are separated, living separately, and divorce is less than 30 days away (5-9). I have recommitted my life to the Lord and am praying for the restoration of our marriage. She does not share the same hopes, but I love her nevertheless.

I will join in the Wed. prayers and fasting with others.

Peace,
bk

Definately, add us to the list Mayflower,and juniors.... we are having a huge MELTDOWN.... We;ll pray for my STBX freedom....

Right on!!!!

Mayflower on board!

Please add us to the board too. For our daughter's protection during this very rough time. My lovely wife and I are due to separate this coming monday.

work_n_progress --her

d_rose---me, obviously

<small>[ April 15, 2003, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: d_rose ]</small>

Hi cajunky,

I think you are doing a wonderful job. Your committment to sharing God's word each week is truly a blessing for all of us who sometimes need encouragement when we're trying to restore faith, hope and love in our lives. I look foward to Wednesdays when I can fast and pray with you and the group. Thank-you.

I would like to be included in all of your prayers. My FWH and I have been seperated for the past 2 months and I have decided to go back "home" this weekend to make another attempt at making this M work. My H still refuses MC, is reluctant to discuss the R and most troubling I think he is slowly turning away from his faith and in turn losing faith in the possibility of restoring this M. I believe that through God all things are possible and I know that through Him our young but battered M can heal.

I am praying that both our hearts be softened and our minds be opened so that God's will can be done.

I will continue to pray for all of you who are struggling with patience, courage and hope.

God's Peace.

-CB-

Hi Cajunky, please keep me in your prayers this week regarding my health, I've been pretty sick all week, a bad cough, a bad back, who knows what else, the devil is having a hay day!
My friend Rose passed away on Friday morning and I'm making the 7 hour trip to BC for her funeral on Wed. I am suppose to sing and pray and hopefully give a message on Thursday at the service, but I need a voice! I'm sure God will come through for me, but also what I need prayer for is that He will give me the words to say to her family, she was a Christian, and seeing it's Good Friday the following day, it will be a perfect opportunity to share the salvation message with them.
I'll keep you all in my prayers too, God Bless,
SW

I would like to be added to the prayer group. I need all the prayer I can get to help restore my marriage.

LunaDove

From "Experiencing God Day by Day" by Henry Blackaby.

Motives

Mark 10:51 - So Jesus answered and said to him, "What do you want Me to do for you?"

It is hard to believe that the Lord would ask us What He could do for us. However, sometimes that is the question we must answer. Bartimaeus was blind, and he knew exactly what he wanted Jesus to do for Him; restore his sight. Yet he recieved much more than physical sight! He recieved salvation, for Jesus knew Bartmaeus's heart was faithful. Bartimaeus immediately used his gift to become a follower of the Savior.

Jesus also asked James and John what they wanted Him to do for them. They requested the most prominenet places in His kingdom. This time, Jesus answeed that He could not give them what they asked. Their request was selfish, and it brought dissension among their fellow disciples (Mark 10:41).

Only when we pray according to God's will is He pleased to grant our request (John 15:16). We will not see our prayers answered if we ask selfishly(James 4:3). If God refrains from giving us what we ask for, we should evaluate our prayers. Are motives selfish? Are we asking for far less than what God wants to give? (2 kings 13:19; Ephesians 3:20). Are our requests worthy of the God we approach? Do we lack faith God requires to give us our desires? (Matt. 17:20). Is there unconfessed sin? (Isa 1:15). God selights responding to our request(Matt 7:7). If we will ask according to His will, we, like Bartimaeus, will receive far maore than we anticipated!(Jer 33:3).

Remember to pray for your marriage as well as everyone elses.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Just an update on some things. My former wife has set a wedding date for June 28. Please pray that God will intervene in this somehow. The thought of someone having my kids and the family that I love so much really crushes my heart to the very core.

My little girl(8 years old) is having a hard time with this. My kids like the guy but my little girl wants mom and dad back and our family back. When a friend of mine ask them what they liked about him they said " He lets us do anything". Not, "He is a neat guy" or "He plays with us all the time". Friday I picked her up from school and spent some time with her(went to softball field and played pitch and catch) before I took her to cheerleading practice and she wanted to go to a school function instead. I had her call her mother since it wasn't really my day to have her and her mom told her no. She started crying and said she hated her life and she hated her mom and dad and said it was my fault. She then went into a big tyrade about how she hated her mother and she wouldn't care if she died. She said even if she had cancer she wouldn't care and that she hated her. I told her not to let me hear her say that anymore and she said " I don't have to say it but I can think it." I sat in the middle of the ball field and just held her and she told me everything she hated about her mother. I just held her and let her talk.

Just pray for me to have the ability to trust in God through all this and for God to show me how I can have even more faith and trust in him. I am beginning to struggle in this area as June 28 gets nearer and nearer.

God has been blessing me more and more lately too. Furniture that I have been praying for when I move closer to my kids soon is being provided for and it has everything to do with God. God has been providing when I neede it the most.

Love in Christ
cajunky

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cajunky:
<strong>Just an update on some things. My former wife has set a wedding date for June 28. ... The thought of someone having my kids and the family that I love so much really crushes my heart to the very core. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cajunky, I'm going to say something here that I am afraid is going to get me flamed, fried, and then burned upside down at the stake...but remember, I am in your XW's shoes and not yours, okay??

My brother, you HAD them. You had your XW and your children and you choose to pursue internet sex and infidelity. You had them in the palm of your hand, and they were DYING for you to choose them and be valuable to you. Trust me on this one: I have spent not just a month of Sundays but YEARS of Sundays aching for my stbxH to find me more valuable than his OWx13--and he never did. My guess is that your XW and children may have felt the same way...like if they were valuable to you, that you would turn off the computer and go seek help so you wouldn't keep hurting them...and you chose not to.

I swear to God, I'm not saying this to chastise you or to discourage you...but cajunky, King David was the Apple of God's eye, and when he committed adultery, he had to pay the ultimate price and lose his child. That was the horrible natural consequence of his choices, and I'm sure it hurt him ENORMOUSLY to have the pleasure of a son, and then have his child die. Don't you think that if God was EVER going to let someone slide on the consequences, it would be the Apple of His Eye?? Nope. As painful as it is, we must pay the consequence of our choices, and while I care about you as a brother in Christ, I believe the price for you may be high.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> My little girl(8 years old) is having a hard time with this. My kids like the guy but my little girl wants mom and dad back and our family back. ... She started crying and said she hated her life and she hated her mom and dad and said it was my fault. She then went into a big tyrade ... I told her not to let me hear her say that anymore and she said 'I don't have to say it but I can think it.' I sat in the middle of the ball field and just held her and she told me everything she hated about her mother. I just held her and let her talk.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ah, cajunky, out of the mouth of babes. I realize that it is disrespectful for our daughter to speak of her mother that way, but can you not see what she is really saying??? She doesn't really hate her mother or you...she is just IN PAIN. Your daughter is suffering. The true fact of the matter is that your choices, long ago, to keep going back to your internet sex addiction has had a ripple effect that is still rippling years later. Your child is hurting because of a choice made long ago for momentary pleasure!

Once again, I don't mean this harshly. I'm hoping this will remove the scales from your eyes. You have come a long way and God has truly moved in your life--of this I have NO DOUBT. But this is a perfect example of children suffering for the sins of the parent. I'm glad you held your daughter and let her scream her pain, for she clearly actually FEELS great hurt--the thing she was looking to see was: "Can I be honest with dad even if it's not pretty, or do I have to pretend with him too??" She needs a place where she can show that she is really angry--and once again, while I care about you as a brother in Christ, she has a right to be very angry with you. You have harmed her little life! It's a mess now through no fault of her own! It is so appropriate for her to be ANGRY!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Just pray for me to have the ability to trust in God through all this and for God to show me how I can have even more faith and trust in him. I am beginning to struggle in this area as June 28 gets nearer and nearer.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cajunky, there is a reason why one of the first things we learn in recovery is the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the thing I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." There are some things that you can NOT change. Let me repeat that. There are some things that you CAN NOT CHANGE. This may be one of them--I don't know. God has graciously given your XW free will, and even HE can not make her do His will--plus, who are we to tell God what His will is?? Maybe He wants your XW to be with a new husband for a season to bring the new husband to Him--we just do not know cajunky. That's why I'm going to pray the Serenity Prayer for you. I'm going to pray that God give you the deep peace of being able to ACCEPT things you can not change.

That is one darn bitter pill to swallow. I just can not change the fact that to this day, my stbxH prefers his cybersex over his family and wife. I can not change that--the only person who can "change that" is unwilling to change that! So guess what?? I must ACCEPT IT. Can you imagine the struggle to accept that my dearly, beloved husband chooses internet porn affairs over me?? Can you imagine trying to feel PEACE about THAT?? Can you imagine finding serenity and acceptance??

Cajunky, by the same token, I would pray that you have to courage to move and work and grow to change the things that you CAN change. Now my brother you tell me...what can you change?? You can change YOU. You can not change her--and her heart is her side of the street. You can not change your kids--although your decisions do deeply affect them. You can change YOU. YOU--Cajunky. So have courage and change the things that you CAN change!!!!! Go forward boldly.

Finally, I would most definitely pray that God give you wisdom. Wisdom to discern the things you can NOT change and the things you CAN. Wisdom to know His will. Wisdom to turn to wise council. Wisdom to have sound judgement. HIS WISDOM.

And now, I have a strange "confession" to make. I think, in my shoes, it would take a miracle of Old Testament proportions for me to take my H back--even if he entered recovery and made amends. I'm not saying that God isn't capable of softening my H's heart and working in his life to bring him to recovery--but if God did that kind of mighty work in him, He'd have to also pretty much send down a "pillar of fire" miracle to change my heart. Yep, I love my H--always did, always will--but he has hurt me beyond my ability to recover and try again. I'd rather be alone and unhurt than try again and be hurt all over again. So many years went by when I wanted him and ached for him while he was with others. My heart has been rocked too often with women calling the house or finding an email or a letter with intimate details in it. Am I being disobedient?? I don't know--I don't think so. One thing I've learned is that as valuable as my H is to God as His dear child, I am just as valuable, and He has no desire for me to be harmed and sacrificed in order to reach my H. In other words, God finds me valuable too, and I think He would want me to do what had to be done in order to guard my heart, for it is a wellspring of life!

I don't know what's going to happen on June 28th, cajunky. I don't know if your XW will get married on that day to someone else or not...but I DO know that whatever happens you will not go through it alone. There's a whole group of people here at MB who will hold you up before God, and GOD HIMSELF will send ministering angels to you. Funny thing is, I've noticed that often God's angels are disguised as children who love us even if we are imperfect.

Your true and faithful friend,

CJ

FW,

Tough stuff, fer sure.

I would agree with most of it, though. Caj, this is tough to hear, I'm sure. But I'm also sure Faithful wrote straight from her heart, and knows from whence she wrote to you.

I'm also sure she did NOT write this painful post to hurt you in any way. Just as sure as I am that you ARE hurting.

Your children are hurting. Your xW is hurting. And it's obvious to us here that YOU are hurting.

Again, to reiterate what FW wrote, choices you made cause a lot of that pain to your family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

However, here's the GOOD news! We serve a Good and Loving God. We serve a God who does NOT mete out pain, and suffering and misery. That's satan's job, and a natural consequence of our own actions (as FW also pointed out). Our God is a God of Mercy, and Love and Forgiveness.

I believe you are on the back side of the mountain now. You are in a place where God can heal you, build you up, and restore you. I highlight that word "restore" cause I believe that's the business God is in above all else.

Does that mean I believe God will restore your M? I would have no way of knowing that. That is an issue for you to take up with Him personally!

I have to agree with most of what FW wrote. Yes, a lot of what is going on in your family, your W's pain, your pain, your children's pain.....is all tied up with choices you made over and over again. Does this mean God IS going to let your W marry this joker? I don't know. He may. But here's the best part! God will ALWAYS have His way in our lives. It may take her marrying some fool like this guy in order to see what God really wants her to do ultimately.

This is the only part of what FW wrote that I disagree with. She wrote, "God has graciously given your XW free will, and even HE can not make her do His will"

I DO believe God can "make" us do His will. For reasons we do not understand, He doesn't always do that. At least not when we believe He should (such as stopping someone from doing something really stupid with their lives). But I believe when His "fullness of time" comes, He DOES intervene and make us do His will.

So, Caj, all I can add to FW's most insightful and loving post is to say we all feel your pain, we all are praying for you and we love you.

But God loves you more. He loves you beyond your capability to know it. More than you love your own children. Knowing that should bring comfort, and help you see that He will never allow you to suffer beyond anything you are able to withstand.

God Bless you, my brother.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lupolady:
<strong>... I'm also sure she did NOT write this painful post to hurt you in any way. Just as sure as I am that you ARE hurting. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AMEN to that!!! And AMEN again. I most surely did not write this to hurt you, although I'm sure that it was not pleasant to hear. Rather, I wrote it to face it HEAD ON. The main way we often get in trouble is to run away from what we don't want to hear, and this is one of those instances. Let's face the truth now, together, and get through it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Again, to reiterate what FW wrote, choices you made cause a lot of that pain to your family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep. I know it is very, very sad to hear, but the choices of our past do affect our present. The consequences can be long and hard too...and sometimes not only do YOU pay the consequences, but so do your loved one and generations to come. That's why it's so VERY important that we cling to God. Every moment in another opportunity to chose right--and with every opportunity comes opposition. Okay...so the past was imperfect (that's just stating it factually, not judgementally)--we literally have the chance EVERY MINUTE to choose good over evil and to turn our lives around, and Caj, I am so worshipfully grateful that somehow God reached you!! I am so thankful that you did see the good and choose the good. Praise God for that!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> However, here's the GOOD news! We serve a Good and Loving God. We serve a God who does NOT mete out pain, and suffering and misery. That's satan's job, and a natural consequence of our own actions (as FW also pointed out). Our God is a God of Mercy, and Love and Forgiveness. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AMEN to that! I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly. We have been CLEANSED by a Good and Loving and Faithful and Merciful God. We appear to Him as perfect by His grace. God knows (haha) that I sure don't stand before Him perfect by my actions! OY! But IMHO, God may FORGIVE us completely, but He will still allow us to suffer the consequences of our choices. I do not know if GOD metes out pain, but I do know that when we make a choice to behave in a way that is contrary to His will, He does allow us to task the bitterness of the consequences and He does not spare us.

In my own life, I've often been VERY angry with God for the suffering that my children and I have endured because of my H's choices--yet the simple fact of the matter is that we are part of the "wave of consequences" for choosing to embrace sexual addiction rather than recover from it. I'm angry with God that He would take away my H and my kid's father--yet He didn't really take him...my H chose to walk away (there's a big difference); however, to MY life and to my kids' lives the result it pretty much the same: broken family and broken home. Naturally, in my mind I cry out: "WHY?? Why did You let this happen to me and my family??" It's because He knows what He's doing and I do not...He plans to use me in ways other than through ministering to my H right now. His plans, while painful to me, involve learning to be intimate with GOD--so maybe I was distracted by having a mate! I don't know. But I have complete faith that my pain is not in vain and that He will use me where I am at--a divorced woman. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> This is the only part of what FW wrote that I disagree with. She wrote, "God has graciously given your XW free will, and even HE can not make her do His will" </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well you know what's funny? That's one of those HUGE theological debates--do we have free will or does God make us do what He wants? I honestly can not fathom the full answer to that (I figure I'll understand it when I get to heaven)! BUT, the way I see it, God gives us enough free will to choose to do what He does not want us to do--and then, even if we choose poorly, He uses us and others to accomplish His Will.

Well, God bless, Caj! You've been in my prayers all night!

CJ

Hi CAj, I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I am praying for you to have the strength you need to get through this time. YOu know even if she does go through with this marriage, it will be a counterfit marriage, she will be unequally yoked, keep reading Charlynes emails, and cling to your Maker, He will give you all you need. His plan is not over!
The girls have come at you pretty hard today, and many truths lie in what they say, but God's forgiveness is as far as the east is from the west, He loves you and your XW, hang on to that, and know that He is in control.
God's Blessings to you brother,
Love in Christ, SW

i'll pray for all of you everyday. want nothing but the best for everyone. Blessed Be

Oh, please include me in your prayer group. Please pray to restore my marriage.

My husband has just told me he wants a divorce. We have been arguing lately but no more than is "normal" and this has come completely out of the blue for me. I've asked him to go to counseling but he will have nothing of it. He said he can't give any more than he has already given.

I truly believe it is other things going on in his life that have led him to the conclusion that he wants out of our marriage.

He retired only two months ago, now has only half the money he had while he was working, misses the people he worked with for over 25 years, and on top of everything else, is a Viet Nam Vet with PTSD and is deeply affected by "anniversary dates" which come up for him this time of year. Also the war in Iraq is bringing up all kinds of buried memories. I think he feels that these things are out of his control and the one thing he can control is leaving the marriage.

Please pray for us as I will for all of you.

Hello to all, especially, Cajunky. I want you to know that I am praying for all of you and hope that you will do the same for me. Pray that God will lift the fog from my H's eyes and he will close the door to the A and OW. I am standing for God's will and his laws and I believe that the devil is a liar. All of you, stand firm, pray and have faith, no matter how bleak it looks. God is at work, it will be ok. Thanks for being out there, and I know how lonely it can feel. So, I am praying for you, May God BLess you and your marriages, Cajeanie

Faithfulwife.....I always love your responses because you are so honest and it always lets me see another perspective to my situation. Your answer was brutal but it was an answer that I needed to hear.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My brother, you HAD them. You had your XW and your children and you choose to pursue internet sex and infidelity. You had them in the palm of your hand, and they were DYING for you to choose them and be valuable to you. Trust me on this one: I have spent not just a month of Sundays but YEARS of Sundays aching for my stbxH to find me more valuable than his OWx13--and he never did. My guess is that your XW and children may have felt the same way...like if they were valuable to you, that you would turn off the computer and go seek help so you wouldn't keep hurting them...and you chose not to.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what bothers me the most and the thing I think about constantly. Yes I had them and I had lots of chances to walk away but I covered my ears to God telling me to come back. The thought of what I did to my family and how my wife cried over me and to think how I hurt my kids is sometimes unbearable. You don't know how I wish I would have turned my life around way before it was to late.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> She doesn't really hate her mother or you...she is just IN PAIN. Your daughter is suffering. The true fact of the matter is that your choices, long ago, to keep going back to your internet sex addiction has had a ripple effect that is still rippling years later. Your child is hurting because of a choice made long ago for momentary pleasure! But this is a perfect example of children suffering for the sins of the parent.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know she doesn't really hate us and that is why I just held her in the middle of that ball field and just listened. When I went home I cried and really wished I was dead because I knew how my daughter hurt and I am the one who caused her to hurt so bad. I have been struggling with the guilt issue for a long time now and to see my daughter hurt and to know that it will effect her for the rest of her life eats at my soul to the point I sometimes don't know how to handle it. I pray about it often and God has blessed me in a lot of ways to allow me to get a relationship back with my kids.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know what's going to happen on June 28th, cajunky. I don't know if your XW will get married on that day to someone else or not...but I DO know that whatever happens you will not go through it alone. There's a whole group of people here at MB who will hold you up before God, and GOD HIMSELF will send ministering angels to you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A good friend from church called me tonite checking on me and she told me that a lot of people in my old sunday school class are praying for me and my situation. She told me about some people who don't know my wife very well but who are sincerely praying for us. I also know all the great people here are praying for me also. That is what is great about having Godly friends is you know they will love you and pray for you no matter the circumstance.

This same friend has planned to take me somewhere with her family (maybe camping or something) and has told a few other couples (who are praying for me) about it and they plan on taking me out of town on the wedding weekend so I won't be alone. I know God will take care of me no matter what happens on the 28th.

I know God has great plans for me in his future but it is hard to accept the fact that I may have to do like David did and lose my family.

Just keep praying for me because the next couple months I will be in deep prayer about this.

Once again I appreciate everyones honesty and sincerity.

Love in Christ
cajunky

I could use some prayers. WS has seen or talked to OW several times since promising not to. i am praying for strength for tough love (asking him to move out and not folding) and to be strong for our daughter. He's still here but I am praying for guidance on whether or not I should keep trying to save the marriage.
br
me-45
ws-48
married-10 yrs.

cajunky, I'm reading a book called Spiritual Divorce, subtitled, Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life, by Debbie Ford. In the Foreword by Neale Dean Walsh, of the Conversations with God series, he writes,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There is no such thing as divorce.

If we accept the definition, found in at least one worldwide dictionary of "divorce as total separation, disunion, there is no such thing.

Separation does not exist in the universe.

For most of us this could sound like good news and bad news. The good news is that we are never alone, and can never be. The bad news is that we can't get rid of anybody. We can't separate ourselves from them.

Put in seven words: It is impossible to end a relationship.

It is only possible to change it.

This is probably the most important understanding anyone could come to when beginning a relationship. All relationships are never-ending. It is not a question of whether we are going to have the relationship but of what kind of relationship we are going to have.

Our relationship with another goes on and on and on. Even if we never see another person again, we have a relationship with them. And the nature of that relationship affects the days and times of our lives in a very real way.

Few relationships within the human experience are more impactful than the relationship we call marriage. For this reason, few things are more devastating that the dissolution of a marriage. Yet the dissolution that we mourn is a figment of our imagination. We imagine that marriages can be dissolved, yet this is an illusion. Once we understand this, we are on the road to recovery.

Marriages cannot be ended. We can say they are ended; we can tell each other they are ended; we can even get government officials to declare that they are ended, but we cannot end them. One cannot conclude a union of two souls. As it turns out, what God has joined together no one can put asunder.

....(just when we think it is falling apart) our life may actually be falling together for the first time. It is an extraordinary journey through the darkness of love ended to the light of a love that never ends: the love of self, and of life - which is to say, the love of God.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am trying to surrender to God's will and to have faith in God's love for me. In doing this, I'm finding some peace of mind and serenity.

<small>[ April 18, 2003, 01:38 AM: Message edited by: LetSTry ]</small>

Hi,
I have posted an update on my marriage restoration titled "If you feel like givig up...Do it! A lot of things have happened but my marriage is doing well and will survive.
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