</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am very careful with my children around and when others are around my children to not say anything negative about their dad or even his wife. I even sat down with my family members about this and stressed the importance of them not saying things around them about their daddy that was negative. I always make sure that phone calls between my xh and I are when the boys are not present or when they are sleeping and I keep the phone calls short and "sweet". As hard as it is sometimes not to react to my xh I sure do bite my tongue ALOT! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Kathy, then keep up the good work, i unfortunately, do not have an X that is anywhere near reasonable, although she would tell she was if you asked her.

wiftty

Kathy,

I have to say that, lest anyone think different, I respect your determination to make sure your kiddos have a secure, stable environment. AND I respect that fact that you are not going to let your x manipulate your lives at his whim.

Remember I said last week that x declined to take dd for his weekend? Guess what? When dd called him last night, he asked her how come she hadn't called and arranged for him to pick her up THIS weekend...'my' weekend. (btw, did you get that he expected HER to call him---he doesn't even have the initiative to call her and make arrangemts) He just arrogantly assumes that he can upset any plans that we might have because HE is now in the mood to see her (for the whole 16 hours or so twice a month). I did finally tell dd last night that I was tired of his doing this and that in future, if he declines his time, he still wasn't going to get mine. I like to spend weekends with my d, too. Mean? Maybe. Unfair? Maybe. But I spent 18 years of life like, really caring what he thought...trying to please him and now, by golly, I don't have to care what he thinks.

My d, like your children, come first and I will do whatever I have to to safeguard her happiness. BTW, his behavior is beginning to take its toll...dd was in a play this week and I asked if she had called him to come see it. She said no, he never did come to any of her performances and she knew he wouldn't come to this one. So, he gypped himself out of the opportunity and my d is slowly losing any faith she has in him.