cajunky:

--Last nite I was over at her house and my "former' wife called out of the blue to talk about some mattresses I had asked her about earlier in the day.--

TR- She called your friends house?? How did she get the number?? and why would she call there??

--We got into several different issues and the next thing I knew we were talking about my affairs and mine and hers computer cybersex. She told me what she did was not being unfaithful but I told her what I did was by far worse but she was still unfaithful. Granted, she started out because she wanted revenge but it got out of hand for the both of us. I fantasized about some of her stuff and encouraged some of it but it tore me up when I found it and couldn't stop her from doing it.---

TR- Okay, so it sounds like yes, you have some unfinished issues here..

--My wife was crying and talking. The thing is, this is the first time she has ever talked about this in a 1.5 years. I have tried but she never will.--

TR- Hmmm...An answer to prayer???

--When I got off the phone my girlfriend was upset. She said what she heard was a lot of unresolved issues. She asked me if my wife came back right now and asked me to try and work it out for the kids sake what would I do? I couldn't answer because I know in my heart I would do anything possible to put my family back together. --

TR- Rightly so, as she's giving you her heart--

and you answered a very important question here
for yourself...Are you moving to fast??

If deep down you still want to get back with your ex..and are still praying for that..then YES, you are moving to fast...if your 'in love' after a few short weeks maybe you should step back out of the relationship..and ask yourself..is it REALLY love or is it just infatuation of not having had that attention from someone in such a long time??

--The question is this. Did my girl go home and tell my "former" wife about my girlfriend? --

TR- Didn't you say..you and g/f dropped your daughter off??

"In fact when we left to take my girl back they hugged and when my little girl started to walk off she turned around and went back and gave her a big hug on her own."

Maybe your ex-wife seen this??

--Is my "former" wife now gasping for breath like I did when she thinks of someone else raising her children? Is she thinking she may have given up to soon for the kids sake?--

TR- I don't know what she's feeling--but it is possible..as she see's you with someone else..so soon..and maybe her feelings are surprising to even herself..which is why she would be so angry..

-- I have been praying all day about this. A very good female friend from church (who I do things with her and her husband) told me I have to go get her and talk to her. She started crying on the phone because she has been praying as hard as I have for my marriage. She told me today that everyone in church says that we were such a tight couple and they can't believe that we got divorced. She told me lots of people are still praying for us.--

TR- Well, you could call her and ask her to meet you to talk about it...but you'll also have to let your new g/f know what is going on..because this will effect HER as well..

-- Oh yea...just a side note. About two weeks ago I had to get something out of my "former" wifes car and I noticed her bible sitting there with a card still in it that I gave her last valentines day. To me if she really loved her fiance and is truelly wanting to get married she would have gotten rid af all things like that. Maybe it is another sign from God to keep standing for my marriage.--

TR- Or maybe she's having second thoughts..and is afraid to say something to you...because of her own pride..

Let your ex-wife know that she doesn't have to Marry this man if she has ANY DOUBTS!!! As it's easier to back out of an engagement than a marriage..and let her know that if she would like to try again on your relationship...that your willing to do that..even if it means dating at first until you can rebuild the trust that was broken..

Yes, the other people will be hurt..but it's better to hurt a little bit for a short time, than for a life time because you know you screwed up and your pride won't let you change your decision..