Hi Faith4me,

Wow!! Rough night for you--and your post is so clear and strong! Those baby steps are really starting to adding up! Way to go Faith4me!!

You said that your son said:
"Son told her to not swear and change her listening technique. He told me the same, and I said I am trying,"

Direct AND respectful--hmmmmm, I wonder where he learned that? Could it be from YOU Faith4me? I think it is very likely that's exactly where he learned that from! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You said:
"But the one who is screaming the most is the oldest (daughter)."

It's just a temper tantrum. With 4 kids you have dealt with temper tantrums before so you already know how to do it--be loving and firm, and give her space during the tantrum (which also gives you space from the tantrum behavior). When my kids were past the age that tantrums were appropriate, they had to go to a room (with a door to close LOL) until they were done. Btw, can you tell I hated tantrums? And my kids knew it so I suspect that's why they did it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

You said:
"I told my son, be lucky that you are going to band camp. Be lucky that you will be out for a week. We talked about him going away for college. He wants to get out of the house. And I agreed."

You're validating your son's feelings and supporting his efforts to "get away" in ways that are good for him and good for his future--hmmmmm, what does that make you? Oh yeah--a good mother!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Really Faith4me, you're doing good during this adjustment period. Don't let the couple steps back sometimes fool you. Every time you take the steps back you start forward steps again sooner than you ever have before--and that is teaching your adult kids too. Just ignore xh's tactics and do your own thing, but take it as a compliment that xh feels he has to undermine your efforts as a mother--that reflects on him, not you.

Take care Faith4me

Peachy - I will be talking to family assistance living. See about a psychologist for all 5 of us. I know the kids will have a hard time going, cause dad of course says everyone is fine but mom. But I will try, and see if I can get them to sign up for 3 sessions. More trying to get this family back together. Not SNL anymore, just me and the 4 kids.

Yeah, you want to hear what SNL did to his mother? She went to her house which SNL is living in and took some containers to put in the house. She unlocked the front door, and said hello loud so SNL would know that his mother was there. She started bringing in the containers, and he came out to the front of the house and said why didn't you ring the doorbell. She said it is my house and I don't have to ring the doorbell. He said why didn't you say you were here, and she said I did. But he didn't hear her, cause he proabbly was sleeping. Anyways, the same old crap, it is her house, not his house and he has to realize that she can come into the home anytime.

No I don't go to the house at all unless I am with my MIL. I decided that I am not welcome, and that I can't stand the sight he has put his mother in. His stuff is all over the house. And he complains how much stuff she has. I am sick of the arrangement of the house. There is nothing I can do, so I told his mother I will work at the house only when she is there, and it is not going to be often. I have plenty to do here. She can't seem to get herself on track, without someone behind her telling her what to do. It is not my problem, it is hers. I do enjoy helping her, but I am tired of giving, and now I am working on myself.

I went to some garage sales, and got 2 books that I thought my oldest daughter would like to read. Only 50cents each. She didn't even say thankyou, just took them and went to her room. This was before the arguments started. My MIL and I went for fun to the garage sales and found her a rug she needed for her bedroom and she only paid $12. At home depot it would of been $50-60.

I find I am giving and giving. No one seems to be giving to me. Just kids complaining and unhappy about the situation. Oh well, divorce causes much pain, and therefore, I will see about getting psychological help for them and I as a group.

I painted today, and it felt good. Trying to paint things to sell. So it was a good day, didn't cook, and youngest son that I am responsible for went to a graduation party. He has some really nice friends. Oldest son is at SNLs house. And oldest daughter is home. Youngest daughter was in another state the whole weekend and will be home later tonight.

This week busy for me. Getting things changed and done.

I have been thinking about getting locks. Taking the locking system out. But I will put the house up for sale at the end of the week. For Sale by Owner. Then I will see about changing the locks.

A townhouse would be great. I have another plan in my head and talking to someone else. This plan sounds a bit better than a townhouse. And I should beable to make some money on this plan. Don't want to say, cause good old SNL reads and types on marriage builders. I do want a small yard, big enough for flowers and a small garden and the animals. But I do want a basement for a bedroom for the boys, and a painting room/sewing room. And a one car garage at least. Better if 2. Boys would like a garage to work on things in the garage. And I would like to refinish furniture in the garage and do some building of small things and have tools organized to work with.

Yep, this house is way too large.... and I want something small, less insurance, and less upkeep. Townhouse would be great too. Just some options I am thinking about and talking to people at my church who are helping me think.

This is a big change, and many things happening in my life. School this fall. Hopefully I will get this back and neck and shoulder better. So I can get a parttime job. And SNL will give me alimony. He makes very good money, so he can go on vacations, and take the kids. Good for him. I will stay here and keep my nose busy in the books and getting things done. I have alwalys been very dependable, and reliable. But now SNL can go find that sexy woman and have his fun.

Anyways, yep, I am doing okay. Psychological help is needed in this family. With all the upsets in this household, and the yelling and cussing. I am deciding that we all need hellp. Another thing added to my list.

Take care, and thanks everyone.

Didn't realize that SNL would be such a jerk. But am not totally surprised. Just wished it didn't happen to me, just like all of us wish it didn't happen to us. Hey, but they are sooo... fooggggyyy these wayward spouses. They will do whatever they have to, to get control.

So what if SNL says that everybody is fine. Turn off SNL and don't listen to anything the jerko says.

And tell the kids you are the parent here and you decide what goes on under this roof. Period.

I also believe firmly that you should not go to MIL house if SNL lives there. Think this needs careful explanation to her. To go over there is continuing this saga even more and gives SNL reason to think he has license to come over. Sorry but you need to meet MIL at your home or over for coffee elsewhere. She should understand. Plus it will empower her to see that you are breaking free of her controlling son. She needs to see how to do it.

Before you get rid of your internet connection, download from Netzero.com.
You can get 10 free hours of internet per month, and e-mail.
I use it at home, and have never gone over the 10 hours yet (OK I do alot at work).
And I just go to my regular e-mail program.
It's a free dialup service.
I think they only allow one account per address, so do it before the kids do.

I'm sure money for counseling would be a problem for you. Since D is over 18, I think she needs some counseling of her own. Our area has a women's crisis center which offers free counseling services. Please look for one in your area. And if her attitude sticks, boot her out.
And change the locks. You don't need to replace every door, just have them rekeyed by a locksmith.

And once the house is in your name, write a formal letter to SNL stating that he is not allowed on the property, and get all your kids to sign a letter saying that they agree with this rule of living in the house. Then you can put the police on notice that he is not allowed on the property. If OD lets him in, you can have him arrested. Just a thought

The reason I go to MIL house with her is that she asks me to help her unpack, and organize. I feel obligated, but there could be the fact that when I am there, that SNL has to leave the house. Yes, there needs to be a Plan B with the Divorce. SNL didn't want to do Plan A, the Harleys way. He didn't want to do Plan B, the Harleys way. But now it is time to do Plan B, the x's way.

SNL came over today. I talked to him a little, and said it is disrespectful to come without asking. He went on his usual talk about he comes over to fix something or talk to the kids. Most of the time he eats something too. I asked, very nicely, to be respectful. But there is no respect for me. We started talking about our oldest daughter, and that turned into an argument, and he brought my mother up in the picture. I said you are going off track, stay on track. I know I go off, but I was making sure we stayed on our oldest daughter.

Just no use, I will have the locks changed. Getting the house in my name this week. Papers of divorce came and it is final. Found today that SNL did some illegal stuff at the bank, and will find out if I can do anything about it.

He goes on that it was his money, etc. etc. Like I did nothing since 1990 for free. I only answered the phones, took care of the bills, filing, ordering parts, etc. etc. I did nothing, h*ll, would of liked to see someone else do what I did, and still take care of this house and kids. I worked my butt off, and provided a good home and good food, and clean clothes, and had every thing organized.

Once again no respect, but I shouldn't expect it. I was the worst woman in his life. I was the worst woman to be his wife. Like his sex with the other woman. He still says he didn't have sex. But hey, Mr. Bill Clinton said the same.

Off to bed. Please if you all could put a prayer in for a frined of mine, her name is MaryJane. She is in a wheelchair, because of 3 herniated disks lower disks, that are causing paralysis and tingling. Looks like surgery will be on the 10th, not sure. She is so depressed, and having a hard time right now. I will visit her this week, and pray for guidnace. Thanks.

SNL never liked her, and like everyone, she has her faults, but she is in need of prayers. Just like SNL is in need of prayers. Goodnight.

Ok....

You're enabling period now. And if you think MIL is going to help you with a plan B when she herself is an enabler, then you're wrong.

Blood is thicker than water. Jethro's parents sure could complain about him, know what he did was wrong and still they in the end supported him. Like a line drawn in the sand.

If you go over there, you are CHOOSING TO HAVE CONTACT WITH SNL./

And no written letter is needed. He isn't allowed to come in when you don't want him. It's your home, not the kids. And if anybody over

Ok....

You're enabling period now. And if you think MIL is going to help you with a plan B when she herself is an enabler, then you're wrong.

Blood is thicker than water. Jethro's parents sure could complain about him, know what he did was wrong and still they in the end supported him. Like a line drawn in the sand.

If you go over there, you are CHOOSING TO HAVE CONTACT WITH SNL./

And no written letter is needed. He isn't allowed to come in when you don't want him. It's your home, not the kids. And if anybody over 18 enables him and lets him in, after knowing mom is doing what mom finally needs to do, they can go live with him.

And you're ALLOWING him to eat and make small talk and whatnot. You're NOT MOVING ON. You're standing still. And when you worry about his lies, his disrespect, his affairs, that's all a given and part of the person SNL chooses to be now.

By divorce, you have chosen not to be part of this. Unless deep down you want to.

That is what needs to be addressed to you right now. You can SAY all day long and keep posting about how you know you need to do this and know you need to keep him out, but he keeps on being allowed to get by with it.

Call police now. Next time the man walks in without knocking, have him arrested. Don't argue or have words with him. It is USELESS. Like talking to a wall so why do it. Waste of time and energy.

I know that I can feel bad and grieve for what my xH did. But that's why he's my xH. And I am not going to take any more crap ok? People LEARN HOW TO TREAT US.

I am getting really frustrated. We keep telling you how to get away from him but you keep allowing him to. I know you are unhappy with the status quo. But it's the way it is. No words from you are going to make SNL change and maybe quite possibly any words of criticism or suggestion will push him further in the wrong direction.

You're enabling him. No other way to say it. You're angry at what's going on but you've done little about changing the dynamics.

And about women's crisis centers. I would love to say more good things but....when I needed an emergency restraining order, they basically turned me away because they didn't think "i needed it". A bit of apathy sometimes. Churches many times have and can refer somebody to a christian psychologist (note not counselor as I am not a fan of them)that might could take a lower rate if there is a financial hardship. You gotta ask around.

But you've gotta ask yourself is anything different about SNL. Nope. So what to do? You can p*ss and moan about him all you want. You can wish and wish him to change.

Detach big time. Take action. Cut him off. Don't argue.

The opposite of love is not hate. Not hate. IT is INDIFFERENCE. You and your loathing of his actions show this. When you can wake up and say you really want to take your life back and start doing something about it, then you will feel different. Until then, you'll keep posting day by day the insults and verbal attacks and stunts that SNL will pull...And when you allow him to be close enough to cause harm, you will feel harmed. When you say enough! No more. I am done and that's that and mean it then you will get peace.

I speak from experience. If my xH can't live, love, behave or be anything like either the man I once married or the man I will desire in the future, then there's no room in my life for him. None. He will just be somebody to me. The father of my child. Nothing more. Indifference.

Indifference - If I could have it my way. I would ask for SNL to move to another state. He didn't do anything the way it should of been. And he didn't do anyting the way I wanted it. And still to this day, he is not doing anything the way it should be, or the way I want it. Enabling, yes, cause I have been enabling my whole life with SNL. I am trying very hard to detach. It is hard, but I feel better when he is not around. Another thing he does, is always asking me what I am doing. I have gotten tot he point of saying I am doing nothing. Therefore, it is not a lie, and it is not the truth. I don't ask him what he is doing, cause I am detaching. At least trying to detach, and let him go lead his life of sin.

I don't know if any of you have ever lived with a man that is controlling like this man. Some of you I am sure have. It is hard, and they keep trying to control you.

I have found that there are others who are trying to control me. My kids, cause they have seen what their father has done to me for years. I am not playing into the game, and they are not liking it. But it is who I am, and I am coming out of the enclosed box that has been holding me in all these years. I also have some friends that are trying to tell me what to do. Not possible now, I have told them politely that I respect their words, but right now I need to grow, and need to let my box crumble. Some are not liking this, but I said, I love you and please give me time to grow.

It is hard, cause I have let people dictate my life for years. I have let my husband dictate my life, and it was part of the women being submissive. No more, I let this man walk all over me. He still continues to walk over me. And I have become more reactionary towards his words. My life is a mess, I agree. I have no money, and assistance is very poor. Alimony and childsupport are worthless. But in due time it will come in. And whatever SNL says to me, I told him today, I don't trust him, and he lied and cheated me out of money and I told him I don't believe anything he says anymore. Which I don't, cause he has been a big fat liar to me for many many years. The only way that I would trust this man, is radical honesty from him, and to continue this honesty for many many months. But with all the lies I have found recently, who knows how many more I will find.

I find guidance through my church. I talk to my ministeer and his wife. I talk to other friends at church. That is the only source of good honest christian knowledge I can trust right now.

Yes, I am scared, cause SNL has left me in a very big mess. He is doing fine, financially, he is making a bundle, and enjoying his money, with purchasing this and that. I am doing terribly financilly, and am hurting physically as well.

Goodnight for now. Pain meds are working, needing the pain meds agian, cause the shoulder is killing me. Of course, SNL won't recognize that he has injured me for life. He won't even apologize for his ballistic actions that tore my rotator cuff. I would at least have the courtesy to apologize and do whatever I could to hlep the person. But not SNL. More of his selfish attitude. And of course more of the Bill clinton theory, I didn't have sex, I didn't hurt my wife physically. Full of crap, SNL.

Today was the last day of myoflexology therapy. Tried it for 3 days in a row. I had to pay this out of pocket too. It feels somewhat better, will see how tomorrow is. Been having a hard time straightening my head, and the pull is strong, causing a lot of eye pain.

Working on paperwork today, trying to get this all done, and lead a life again. Just been left in such a mess. Been really down today, don't feel good, physically. Pain gets one down, and today has been a painful day. Did cry when SNL called to get service calls. Just couldn't help it today. Just came pouring out.

Decided to get the strong narcotic out tonight, and see if I can sleep. Haven't slept well now in 3 nights. Bed isn't comfortable, and actually found last night laying on the couch with knees up, helped some last night. Also, went to the store to buy melatona. Used to take it, but with the meds I am on didn't need it anymore after I ran out. But now sleep is not coming easily. Food is not coming in, so eating poorly.

Called again today family assistance, and waited all day for them to call. I went to my MIL house that she lives in and being evicted from, to steam clean her area rug. I have a little steam cleaner, I bought at a garage sale, about 10 years ago. So It took me about 1 hour to clean it, and it turned out really clean and fresh. Family assisatnce called while I was at Grandmas and am upset with my daughter. Talked to her about it, and she said, oh yeah, you said you were going over to grandmas. More disrespect. Explained to her how important the call was, and how disappointed that I didn't receive the call. Will try again tomorrow.

Hope everyone has something to be thankful for tomorrow.

hi faith
hope things are going well for you,

I can see you making some good choices finally
also I see you struggling with X...

what is myoflexology therapy.

does it help with the shoulder pain?

I am to the point I am taking narcotics and do not like them, they don't seem to touch the pain either..

it is too hard to sleep, can't find a comfortable position..the heart condition makes me have to be propped up so I can breath..most of the time I wake up and the oxygen thing is not on my face..
who knows maybe I Will die in my sleep from lack of oxygen..?!?!?

I need to find something to help..with the arm
I do know using the puter is causing pain..
think I am going to try to use one hand typing and see if it gets better..
most of the time I wake up in such agonizing pain cannot move the arm at all..and even try to use the other one..I think if there were people around and they touched me..I would kick them or scream at them..sometimes I Am glad I am alone..I can moan IF I want to..

have you found anything to help yet?
I wore a brace on my hand and arm for awhile it seemed to help but not anymore..

I go to the doc on frid..think I am going to insist on an xray they should of echod my heart a few years ago..and I would not be in this bad a shape..with heart..

the thing that scares me..is...this..it is my right arm..and the left is the one that normally is affected with heart disease..what if...this thing with my right arm..is the same as usually
happens to the other arm:(

like you I am so tired of feeling so louzy and incapacitaded right now.

I will keep you posted on any good things with my arm and shoulder..for relief..

and you keep me posted..I will pray for you..
and I think your moving along..pretty good.
when you move is when you will get rid of your x
but for now I think he is a pain..and he in his weird way does love you...but he is crazy, so is doing th crazy making things...

Peachy if you had a rollex..then you must have plenty of jewlery you can sell..that you would not want to wear only because it came from him..
sell it..it will help you get by..for now..

I have sold things and it helps to know we have some things worth value to dispose of..

Keep on keeping on.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SadEyes - Myo is a machine that stimulates the area with sending high frequency electrical stimulation. She puts one on the shoulder and one by the lower back, and increases the frequency so bring blood flow back, (which heals). She did her brothers foot, he had a block land on his toes and broke many of the bones and damaged the blood vessels. He stayed at her house for 3 months and she did the myo. every 2 hours x24. The Doctors wanted to amputate the area, and she got his foot back. He doesn't have 100% feeling in all the toes, but they are healed, bones are healed, in the right place, and the color is good, and he has most of the feeling back. Anyways, I tried for 3 days, cost me money, and it seemed to help some. The thing is I should go for a month straight, every day, but can't afford it. After you are off the machine, your back tingles for hours. Which is good, vessels are opening up.

Don't say, you will die in your sleep. I know we all at times feel like it, and you with your heart. But look at all the good information you give here, and have helped many of us get through the difficuilt times.

Yes, I can see howyou feel about your right arm. Heart attack won't does affect other areas of your body. You seem to know quite a bit. The one thing is pain in the teeth. And headaches. Especially jaw and teeth pain.

Keep me (all of us) informed of your Dr. visit on Friday. I will pray for you, Sad Eyes, you keep up communicating with all of us. Have you ever thought of voice activated computer? Hopefullly the Dr. will take x-rays, and find out what is wrong. Be persistent and get an answer.

Yes, x-husband is still into selfish behavior. He is into the personality testing thingy. Telling everyone to take the test and how people don't fit. His posts are so into how rationalists and guardians don't fit. Sad to see that he thinks so little of me. And that he will never see me as anything else but a failure to him. The one thing is, that you see the positives of your spouse and the negatives. And each gives to accomodate the other. But he is so unwilling to accomodate. He wants everything his way, and that causes big problems. We both have positives that took care of the others weakness. I for one am a organizer, and his business is a mess now. Papers all over the place at his mothers house. I had everything organized, could find everything when he wanted it. But there is no need for me to help now. He has set his course of being selfish and controlling. I will not accept it anymore, therefore there is little talking, cause he gets disrespectful within a few sentences. SAying how I won't coooperate, or listen to him. The truth is not told. I will listen if he was to talk respectfully. But the one that goes off track is him. I will surprise him one day and record the conversation and see who does what. Play it back, and see how he justifies his actions. Oh, it amazes me that he is still typing such long threads. He is a finger picker, he uses his 2 index fingers, that amazes me. But he sure types lengthy threads. I would sit and watch, and just couldn't believe that he could sit there and type with 2 fingers. I would get frustrated!

Life is moving ahead. Going to try to sell this house by next spring. Hopefully, will get into another smaller place. Schooling is my #2 objective right now. Family assistance is my #1 objective right now. I have had no income for 2 months, and this is NOT good. Family assistance is sure taking their time, waiting for them to open up this morning. And find out what is happening.

hey Faith,
thanks for the info..
I have never seen any of your X's posts what name is he posting under and where is he doing it?
here at marriage builders?? which board?

Thanks for praying for me..I really do appreciate that, I have had pain in my jaw 2 years ago actually was grinding my teeth at night and broke molars in back on both sides..from stress..

seems like the stress hits us in all kinds of ways doesn't it.then we take a med and it has side effects so they put us on another med for that..I cannot believe how many pill bottles I have I use one of those pill planners for a week now..so I remember whether I take them or not..

Did you notice Jack is back..on the boards..
now he got the other gal pregnant I posted a url I will probably get complaints about..but hey..it needs to be known..about abortion and if a picture saves one life it is worth the whining about it..

there is one there when you go to the url.
I NEVER had an abortion..I did miscarry and the one at 8 weeks is what my miscarriage was like and my neighbor was a nurse and she came over and looked at it..was in the toilet..I didn't know I was pregnant..and she flushed it..and while flushing it..said..that was a baby you miscarried..
that WAS SOOOOO TRAMATIC..for me knowing she did that..flushed it down the toilet..my gosh..it was not a goldfish...geee..it has always bothered me..

shortly after that I found out I was pregnant..I think it was twins..and I naturally aborted one I
(miscarried)was two small to ever have carried two..so I guess God does make a way to have it happen naturally because I had to have c-sections for all 3 of them..my youngest son is the one who would have been twins..lol he said he kicked the other one out..he remembers..I told him he did not..lol..silly..boy he was about 15 when I told him..that the baby was very tiny but fully formed..and I felt very sad about it..

well I guess I will check the boards and then go to bed..hugs and God bless you..know I pray for you for God to bless you and bring you good things your way..HIS BEST for you...
take care.EarthAngel... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

needed to correct something..

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 01:11 AM: Message edited by: SadEyes ]</small>

EarthAngel - yeah the grinding of teeth. I also, got a bite splint to wear. Dentist noticed I was grinding my teeth, and was getting jaw and ear pain. Had one fitted, for proper treatment.

I won't say here, where x is. Not the way I conduct my life.

Also, I am looking into the machine that was used on me. I talked to my massage therapist last night and the machine she has is no longer manufactured. She talked about the one she has has tubes, and the new ones has computer chips. She seems to know what she is talking about, but I will investigate it. The difference she said with this and the tens units is the myo has brain wave actions. Tens has the constant rhythm of stimulation. The myo also, the stimulation is done in a different way. I am not into this, so I will find out information about it. And give you some of the data that I find.

I am seeing her today, and will write down the machine name and manufacturer. Would be nice to have one to use on sore muscles, injuries, and etc. Seems every household could have one if they were used properly.

You are a tiny little woman. To abort one child and have the neighbor flush it, your loss is unbearable. I am sorry, and sorry to say that the neighbor should of scoooped it up and placed it in a plastic bag and took you to the hospital. I aborted in the toilet too. My x-husband scooped what was in the toilet, and we went to the hospital. They knew that this pregnancy was a possible abort.

Your son in his theory that he kicked his sibling out, that is a boy for you. Especially at 15. He must have some feelings of loss. After all he and the sibling shared some time together.

EarthAngel, keep posting, and enlightening these people. Jack, I saw his post. And I am not happy with his post. Good for you! This is a marriage builders forum and people are here to help their marriages, and to help move forward.

Well, I have to go, get ready for my appointment and then back home to get ahold of family assistance. The government is sure slow on helping people out. I called 3 times yesterday, and my social worker never called back. I thought, maybe they weren't open yesterday after the holiday. I even called the operator, and it went back to the recorded number system. So that gave me the thought that they were not open yesterday. Will see if I can get some results today. I hate living this low. But I will keep trying. I collected pop bottles. x-husband gave me the bottles from the house he is living at. And I collected from a garbage can at the park. Someone dumped a whole bunch of bottles and I said, heck, these are worth 10cents each.

X-hsuband paid a guy that I had come to fix leaks. So that was good. Cause he is responsible according to the divorce decreed. The guy is going to fix the downstaaairs toilet, and he has a woman that is going to look at the shower floor, where it has been leaking for a long time. Plus the leak over the waste basket, he had the guy look at that. I will get this house fixed to the best of my ability. And then the rest is up to the new buyers when I put the house up for sale. Oh the guy is going to put a counter and cabinet where the laundry tub is. It has been sitting on 2x4 and garbage bags. Will make that area more decorative and usable. The garbage bags have been there for about 10 years or more and they are starting to get wholes in it. So that will be nice.

Time to go, talk later.

I found out information today. I am getting better at finding information. Wish I didn't have to now. But X-husband wouldn't let me do much of investigation when we were married. He always ?'d me, and I felt so belittled. But I have to say I am getting pretty good. Still frustrating, but am doing much better than when I found out my husband was having an affair. Seemed God was my investigator at that time, cause things kept popping up that I was there to witness SNL's deceit and lies.


Found out he had our accountant make up bogus checks that I worked for him. For reasons that I cannot tell. But I talked to him for a few sentences today, and I will deny working. He thinks he has me by the reins again. No more honey, I am free to fly with the wind and go where I am wanted. Go where I am needed and treated like an equal. I have evidence now, perfect evidence that I didn't work for him at all or receiving a paycheck.

Also, I found he closed a banking account back in February and our divorce was not final until June 6. Court orders state no changes of accounts or anything. And him opening his own account and stashing money in it, and cancelling the life insurance, and this. There is probably more, time will see. Talked on phone today and got good info. from another lawyer. See the lies continue, and I am getting better at controlling my feelings. Cause why should I expect anything else. You all have been telling me this over and over, and I have prayed for SNL to come back as my husband who I married. But he doesn't seem to be even peaking around the corner. Yep, SNL has gone to the devil.

Just watch what he says, and he is still continuing on his path of destruction of marriages. I am sorry that he is not wording words to building marriages, but destroying marriages. I can't do anything about it. Like he told me to my face, I am nothing to him, no relative, no wife, NOTHING at all!!!! With mean spitting words. He is of the life of sinsitry. Pray for him, I do everynight. Only God can get the satan out of his soul. And our prayers can help. Thank you for helping SNL.