Trying,

Sorry, about your night last night. I know it hurts you when your family is also hurting. Hope you can catch up on some rest. I did get a little cat nap.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I still sometimes can't believe how everything got this crazy. My life is actually much saner and calmer now, but how is it that I wasn't able to see what seems so obvious now (my in-laws family dysfunction, the addictions, the lies)?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think it is called love with rose colored glasses. My family saw things early, but only hinted softly one or two times & then never brought up the topic again. I guess my friends saw much, but never said any negative things about my x. It is only now when I discuss something they tell me they saw that side of x & his family a long time ago.

Yes, there is a peace by letting go & stepping away. At times I think I was taken away from this pain going on in x's-family.

I am taking one more day for myself today before everything gets real busy. A perm, a counseling session, & then 3-4 hours reading at the lake. I did this once last summer & just tanned. I didn't have to worry about knowing or doing things for other. Although I think this time I would enjoy some one to visit with. oh-well

I will pray things get settled in your favor today and also in two weeks.

"I struggle with much of this and wonder if finding new love depends on my getting past this or does getting past this depend on my finding new love?"

IMO, you definitely want to get "past" your D before you jump into something else. I had to test the waters before I was ready and it didn't turn out well at all. I ended up hurting a very good woman's feelings so be careful...

I've often heard that the time for a relationship after this is when you feel like you don't need one. In other words, you've accepted what's happened, you're effectively dealing with it and you're looking forward to the future, and you're okay with being alone. Good luck!

Oh, yeah, you gotta heal some before you can love again. Not the other way around. Then you might have two broken hearts to heal from. I don't know if even Dr. McCoy could get you through that one.

(That was a veiled Star Trek reference.)