will post later,,, have a great day, and God bless you!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ September 04, 2003, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Hello to you,,,
I think my wife has been dogging my stupid a@@!!!
We spoke three times this week, some about getting back together. I also informed her what the children have said they have seen, and what they have said, referring to her and her first sons dad. She deenied any dating,,,
Shortly after church, i dfecided to go to where she now lives. SO our children could see her. She wasn't there. The car to the first sons dad was there. My W, and her van, and her first two children, were gone. I was informed she was at work, by her mom.
I was crushed!!! Yes, i'am the fool!!! There was a part of me that doupted her, but that part that *listened* to her.
Why, can't i just accept it, when will i accept it!?

So,, lets get off to a better subject,,, you!!! Where have you been? Yes, i'm some what worried, and concerned? Where ever you have been, i sure hope you were enjoying?
I was wondering if maybe i was suppose to email you, but because i never opened it, i don't have a clue what you may have said,,,I delete email quick and easy. WAY too much junk mail,, no not from you LOL Some times it even comes as if the person knows you, then when i open it, well, i just delete quick anymore.
LoveMyEx, i will post to you again,, i think maybe i need to go for a walk.
Steven

Hi Stephen,

Sorry I have not been here. I have been really concentrating alot these past few days on just praying, being in the Word, and fasting. I do not work right now and start school again in about a week, so I am fortunate to have the time to be able to have all day to do that (pray, etc). I also have spent little time online and prob. will continue to stay offline a bit and really focus on the things I need to do as far as my relationship with the Lord. Have you ever read Malachi? Read Malachi. It will really convict you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Well, it talks about divorce also. I've just been really convicted of many of my own sins that I just can't be lazy about anymore. I have got to get my life right with God as much as possible and in every way I can, obeying Him in EVERYTHING. I so much want Him to hear my prayers and work on my behalf (saving my marriage) but if I am not obeying Him and if I am not being diligent in seeking Him and honoring Him in all things, why should I expect anything? I think that hearing that my husband has a fiance is a very big wake up call. It might be "too late" although I simply hate that phrase because I know that with God, it's never "too late". But, I do know that we do reap what we sow and often the consequences are not removed, so I am just praying so much for His mercy on me because I so desperately need it because I fear that I will reap what I sowed, my sins, and that I will never see my husband again.

I did not actually write to your email yet. So don't worry about deleting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I will look at the links you put on there, but I need to go now. I am trying to get to be earlier and wake earlier to discipline myself!!

I am sorry that I do not have more time to address the things you have said. I am glad the websites ministered to you. That is what I first did after my divorce... I read about marriage and divorce in the Bible and from godly pastors and that is when I grew in my understanding of it and my convictions. Then, I was led to those sites and then I really felt it on my heart to reconcile. But I have made so many mistakes along the way... getting angry at him, holding a grudge, blaming him, etc. Learn from me Stephen! If you want to reconcile with your wife, you must trust God and you must live according to His Word... you must be loving, gentle, kind, compassionate, patient, longsuffering. You must not blame or accuse or be angry with her. You must forgive and love and seek wisdom in God's Word. Learn from my mistakes because it is possible that my mistakes have cost me any chance at reconciliation. Only a miracle of God answering my prayers will keep them from marrying. I have no one to blame but myself if we don't reconcile.

Read 1 Cor. 13 about love. Read verses about forgiveness and faith. Oh, read Matthew, the sermon on the mount. I read that the other day and boy did it speak to me! The main thing that stands out from Jesus' sermon in Matthew is how very, very VERY different His ways are!! Go read it and ask the Lord to help you obey His sermon and to be Christlike. Do not make the mistakes I have made in which I acted too often in my flesh, allowing anger to ruin any softness of heart that my husband had for me. Don't make the mistake of letting your spiritual life with Christ slide. He answers our prayers when we are obeying Him and honoring and seeking Him with all our hearts. And when we have repented and humbled ourselves. I have spent a great deal of time these past two days simply repenting and sorrowing over MY sins. Not my husbands. It has been a long time since I have even looked at his and when I am tempted to, I don't. I am not his judge and I am to obey God REGARDLESS of how my husband acts, etc.

Okay, I better get! I guess I am preaching tonight but I told God that if I don't remarry, then I will still help people in their marriages but it won't be with a story of reconciliation but with a story of what NOT to do... with a testimony of a marriage unreconiled due to my sins. Maybe that is how God will use me... as an example of what not to do!

Here is the correct website for Focus on the Family (I guess I gave you the wrong one. oops!): www.family.org

I will pray for you and please pray for me. Please pray that God will have mercy and intervene on my behalf and keep my husband from remarrying and that God will draw his heart back to me. Please pray that for me and let me know what specific prayer requests you have. I will be praying for you also! May God show us His grace, kindness, and mercy and bring our spouses back to us and give us a testimony of forgiveness, love, and reconciliation. That is my prayer. It is an impossible prayer but we serve an impossible God! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I encourage you also to fast. In Isaiah it talks about fasting. I can't think where but I posted all about it on the "Prayer Requests" thread on a post called "Fasting" or something like that about fasting. I quoted the verses in there.

God bless you and be with you. Forgive me for not replying more directly to your specific comments and I will try to do so again although it might not be for a day or two. But I will be praying.

Hello LoveMyEx,,
hey its more than fine that you don't respond to any personal thoughts, comments or what ever they are. I'm sure most of the time i'm tryin to maybe clear the fog,,,
Yes, i always want answers, the answers that are guaranteed, knowing there is no such thing, other than the *word.* And its difficult at times.

I again spoke to my W today, gave the info i needed, (child bills) and simply said i needed to go. Well, each and every time i do this, she always wants to talk, so i gave,,, i should not have. It always brings my heart, and thoughts back into *us.*

Some times i wonder if maybe i should allow myself to get angry. Angry as if it was like the first time, to give it *all* to her. Therefore she would know exactly what has been instilled in me. From her, as a wife. I wonder if maybe she knew exactly just how much hurt, and anger has been associated with this, that it could open her eyes,, I haven't gave any anger to her in an very long time. At times its been difficult, but i have managed. I do not even allow her to see my tears.

I had a dream last night, something to do with Apostles(sp) there were three men, two were standing, the other was sitting,, we were outside talking, but for the life of me, i can't remember what we were talking about. Would you have any idea whst the threee men and apostle have a connection with? I by no means, am familiar with the bible, or stories very much. When i awoke after this dream, imaybe i should have gotten up and wrote everything down.

Thank you, i will now be reading Malachi.
I have read at least some of this, but could not tell you anything.

LoveMyEx, yes i will be praying for you!!!
Tomorrow i plan on fasting again,,, i truly feel that the last few days i may have went back in the wrong direction,,,
I have several prayer request, from my children that i have borrowed, to myself, and more importantly for my wife. Right now my prayer request is that divorce CAN NOT live in this house, no divorce can live in my home because Jesus is my miracle worker!!Divorce is cursed, the roots of divorce have been cursed.
Pray also for my wife, that there will be an reconciliation.

If thats required, to forgive you for not answering my personal statements, well my friend, who have it. It was perfectly ok,,, i promise.

God Bless you,,,you are in my prayers.

*For i have plans for you,* declares the Lord, *plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.* Jeremiah 29-11

Hi Stephen,

This is just a short note. This is one of the times where again I post but I can't see your message! Sometimes it's down below and sometimes not. I am very tired right now and need to go to bed and have my quiet time also. I hope you are doing well. Keep seeking the Lord through prayer and Bible study. Really be in the Word. You mentioned you don't know it well, and you are going to make many, many mistakes if you don't get in it! We are truly in the dark if we aren't in God's Word because His Word is TRUTH and you are surrounded by lies of the world and Satan, and satan will defeat you if you don't have your armor on (Ephesians) and part of your armor is the Word of God! In fact, if you read in Eph. about the armor of God, the only offensive weapon mentioned is the Word of God. All the others are defensive/protective weapons (helmet, breastplate, belt, etc... ). The Word of God is the sword and it is what you use to strike at Satan with. When you stand on God's Word, you defeat Satan's lies! He says, "Give up. It's hopeless." The Word says, "With God all things are possible." Satan says, "Don't take that from her!" The Word says, "Love your wife," "Forigve...", etc. But if you don't have the Word in your heart then you will believe those lies of Satan and then act upon them... just like Eve did in the Garden a long time ago.

So, that is my encouragement for today. Again, my apologies for not addressing the specifics of your post.

God bless you and may God be near you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

P.S. real quick.... about your dream. I'm not sure what it "meant" if anything. The only thing I thought of when you said disciples was that Jesus often was with two disciples... let's see, it was him and I think it was John and Peter (not sure about Peter?) in the Garden of Gethsmene the night before Jesus was to be crucified. The two apostles fell asleep while Jesus prayed to the point that he sweat blood.

Also there was... oh boy... I think it's called the Mount of Transfiguration where Jesus and two disciples, I think John and ??.. Matthew? peter? not sure.. but they went to this place and Moses and Elijah appeared to them. I think it says that the two disciples saw three men... Moses, Elijah, and Jesus- and they were talking.

Oh... also, there is Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego! Hmmmm.... this would be a good meaning for your dream! They were three men who refused to bow down to the idols when King Nebuchanezzer demanded that all the people bow down to his idols. Well, he threw them in the lion pit and they pretty much willingly went. It was either death or bow down, and they chose death trusting that God could save them, but even if he didn't, they would still not bow. Well, then when the king looked down there, he saw 4 men!! One was an angel of the Lord (or the Lord himself? I can't remember that either!). And they were not burned one single bit. Wait... it wasn't a lion's den (that's Daniel!).. it was a fiery furnace! ooops! Okay, say they were not burned and he had them come out and then he praised God and believed because he saw that God had saved them. Although I think later, he was still an unbelivign king but I'm going to have to really go back and read! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

There were three men hung the day that Jesus died. Two thiefs and Jesus and the one thief said, "Father remember me today." And he was saved right there.

Actually, I think there are several "threes" like that in the Bible. Hmmmm...

Well, goodnight, and dreams are very interesting!

Hi Stephan,

I read about your dream.

Apostles means men divinely commissioned to represent Christ. Their mission is to perform
miracles, preach the gospel, establish churches.

There was one sitting. Sitting represents resting, learning, mourning.

Standing represents strength and readiness to teach and preach the gospel.

You may be sent men with these qualities.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Well Ladysheep, thank you very much!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Teach? well i teach my children daily. Does this count? lol In my dream, i'm almost certain Jesus was there as well, but i really couldn't rememebr for sure, so i opted not to mention this,,,

I remember posting to you in the past.
I really don't know anything, referring to your situation,, and i do not say this with the intent to pry,,,, i just know everybody has a story, just with some, they can shatter your hearts into a zillion pieces, while others may require a few tears,,, the connection is,, we are all human. It all hurts just the same,,,

I finally have a job offer. I'm suppose to start tomorrow. Only pays $7.00 an hour,, but at least its a job,, (but)
I almost called my wife, was going to use it for an excuse to talk to her,, i refused, instead i emailed her. I need to know her interests, regards to our children, while i'm at work. He's suppose to call tonight to see if i was successful with a daycare, or the mom?? I just hope my wife responds in time!? Its a court order to give my W first choice, actually, i would have always done this, w/o a court order. She is their mommy,,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ladysheep,,, sent to you with *love* <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
have a wonderful day,,
Steven,

*the choices we make dictate the life we lead* Feb. 1995

Hi Stephan,

I'm so glad you have a job. That's great!!
It will make you feel better too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I think it's great you are teaching your children. Your a good daddy!!

Hope everything works out with the wife or daycare.

How old are they?? Will they be starting school soon?

Just in case she doesn't read her mail tonight, do you think you can call her tonight???

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Ladtsheep,,Hi!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Mychildren are,, two daughters, ages 14 and 5, two sons, ages 12 and 3.My 5 year old is my miracle child, brain tumor) Three of them will start school this Monday. Today i called a head start, for info about getting my 3 year old in.
As for calling my wife, i truly wanted to, but decided against. I have noticed when i act as though i don't want to talk, then she wants to.
Besides that, she is more withdrawn, more than anything!!! When i talk to her, i realize i find myself still opening up, and trusting her.I find my heart is still in it, and it doesn't do any good. Therefore, the next best, was email. And i only focused on the issue, i didn't address it to her,, and ended with a period at the end of my last sentence. This week-end is hers for visitation, and i will not be here! I'm thinking about having my 14 D sit here, waiting for W's arrival. (although i'm concerned, if its a wise choice) I have always excitedly waited for W to either pick children up, or drop them off. You know, to see her,,,, recently i have been greeting her with the brite and humorous side of me. But i still fail to give her the sence of her being listened to, and at times, its confusing. Two weeks ago, we sat in the drive and talked for over an hour,,,she told me she missed this, and missed that, so i JUMPED on those, said than please come back,,, and two times this week, on the phone for over an hour. So, i'm still hoping. But, overall, i still think i'm allowing myself to be dogged!!! I SURE HOPE I"M WRONG THOUGH!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

With a job, yes i'm so excited!!! Although i have some concerns,,,actually, i was hoping that i'd be able to just survive with the unemployment check for the next 26 weeks. But, i do need a job!!! Although the checks haven't started coming in yet. Should be in maybe two more weeks.(hopefully) Its been since the first of July, although i missed my first Marvin call. I was hoping the first check would have arrived before school, the children were hoping for school clothes. But they know the saying, better late than never.

Well i suppose i have rattled long enough,, here's posting to you, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
ttyl

Steven

love is a *choice* one makes, the same *choice* one makes to hate, and or resent.

<small>[ August 20, 2003, 08:28 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

its now 9:30, he didn't call. He was suppose to at 8p.m.. ????

Hi Stephan,

You mean the guy that is supposed to call about the job?? Did he call yet??

Ladysheep

Lasysheep,, Hello <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
No, the guy didn't call. He was suppose to call at 8p.m.. This morning i checked me messages, and he did call after nine.
It was at nine when i allowed my first two children to return their moms phone call. SHe had called here five times between 8 and 9. I do have one more possibility lined up, its in the town where my wife works, so,,,i don't know.

Apparently the email i sent to my W asking her for her thoughts, opinions,,, regards to our children. Her reply was for me to call her this afternoon, saying that she didn't understand.
So,,,,,,,i don't know!!??

I did set up an appointment awhile ago to get my children enrolled into this Head Start program. Its like a day care, just better.

Have a wonderful day!!
Steven

*a rainbow requires a little sunshine, along with a little rain*

<small>[ August 21, 2003, 10:33 AM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Hi Steven,

So you don't know about the job yet huh??

How could've you have worked today anyway, if
wife told you to call her this afternoon??
What could've you done with the children??

It is easier working when all children are in
school. Headstart is a great schooling program. We have it here also for
the little ones. Here it is full day too.

It seems your wife is bribing you. If you give her joint custody, she'll drop the RO. Not good. I guess she's trying to negotiate with you using the children. I don't think that is right. Do you?? Becareful. It is good that she at times is opening up and talking for hrs at a time, but maybe she just wants you hanging on if the relationship she's in sours. She knows it will never be the same without her family. Hopefully she will wake up to that fact soon.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Hi Ladysheep!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
With working today, i almost had my 14 year daughter babysit. I decided against this, due to the fact W has already complained with this, in some of the court papers. SO, i didn't know either way. Although she is old enough. But she has never went thru that babysitting class. ??
I has no intentions to calling my wife. She ended up calling here, and she just left with *both* children. 3 year old son usually doesn't want to go.
W asked me if i was going to be here when she arrived to pick up children, and i said no.
I tell you what! I just do not understand this game i now must play!? Yes, its soo confusing!!??
Again, i act as though i could care less, and she bites!? I was informed today that she told this OM to stay away. I really didn't know what to say, or if i should say anything at all. Yes, i'm still confused.
While she was here we discussed things our 5 year D has said,,, again, W reassured daughter and myself there was nothing going on, adding that that would be sick and disgusting.

I told my W today i no longer want to see her, that it still hurts to much,,, that i love her and respect her decision. I was asked what did she do wrong? I was almost sat next to on our porch swing,,, i was hoping! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Yes she has been using the children, in my opinion. The last time we had a discussion referring to the custody, i was asked if i had recieved the court papers yet, i ended up saying let the judge decide if thats how you want it W.
So, again, i'm at one of those,, *I just don't know.*

I think i screwed up with her already today. I gained some,,, but while she was here, i made some LD's. Some she had no response. One maybe two there was a notice from her response. I told myself over and over i would not make ANY deposits!!!

I was informed one of her friends is giving single men my W's new phone number. I suggested that maybe she could tell this so called friend that she actually had trhe one and only number she ever needed, as i rattled my number off,, said this in a joking way. My w's response was she would start giving them my number. Sorry, i only do soft, i said. If its ok to say this here. If not, i'm sorry. I mean nothing by it.

Yes i have had that impression lately, having me hang on. Again, the game i now must play!!??

Now, i would like to say, from everything i have said in here, if this is a form of slandering my wife, to anybody reading this, and to my wife i sincerewly apologize. This is not my intent. My only intentions are to share, and hopefully if one ses my mistakes, they can point them out to me. Yes, i do want my marriage,,,
http://www.growthtrac.com

Have a wonderful day,,,
Steven

Gosh Steven, I don't know what to say. I can understand why you would be confused w/ her words. Now she's saying she told OM to stay away. Do you think she really did?? I guess actions speak louder than word sometimes. Do you think this may be some hope to the chance of
reconciliation?? Or are you not sure yet??

It seems strange that you said you don't want to see her any more cause it hurts so much, right after she said she told OM to stay away. It sounds as though she is giving you mixed signals.
And you aren't trusting her word right now. She
really has to prove to you if her words line up w/ her actions anyway I guess. Also the RO is still in place. So I can see why you are being
cautious, and you should be. Are you going to stay in Plan B??

Don't do anything, if you don't know what to do??

May God clear your mind of all the cluttered mixed signals and show you where exactly everything stands at this point. In Jesus name,
Amen.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

LADYSHEEP! HI !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I don't know for sure if she did tell him,, i do know that more for our childrens sake, i sure hope she did.
Reconciliation, yes i still hope and pray for this day. If it will happen though, i suppose in time i'll know huh?
You know, with plan B, yeppers!! I just have to learn how to stop the love deposits to her. While she was here, i made a few,,,
I'm going to write her pretty much the dear *sue* letter, but i'm right back to thinking about the PPO?? If i give this to her, and if it upsets her, well, this may lead to her having me arrested, regards to the PPO? Same thing witrh the court papers i have filled out, to file the motion to have the PPO terminated. I have the court date, i just need to have her served. Again, when she's served, will this upset her? Then i'll be further behind again. Should i not even worry about her!? I have been told for awhile i'm selfish. Maybe this is one time that i should be??

Mixed feelings, yes. I have thought or felt this for a few weeks now. I'm not sure if you read my post, where W and I had been discussing about getting back together. About an hour later, her reply was *I don't know, i just started a new job, i think i'll just keep learning this,* so i said, ok.

I don't know, what to do!!! I have read posts, i have read this and that. I think i must need my hand held. I keep wanting to let her know, and feel, her needs are important, and that i can fulfill them. I think i can, i think i can, i think i can,,,oh, sorry LOL remember tommy the train, i think i can, i think i can .

While we were at the lake today, one of our,(her) friends from work was there. We talked for awhile,,,yes, about my W and what was said.

Again, i sure hope one day,,,
Steven

There's gotta be a little rain sometime.

Hi Stephen,

Just wanted you to know I have been praying for you. Continue to seek the Lord, Stephen. He is going to be the one with all the answers... and He might not give you those answers but might tell you to wait upon Him, to quiet your heart, to trust Him and have faith... and to obey. You must love the Lord more than you love your wife and do not make your wife an idol. Try not to wonder about everything. Instead, pray about everything and allow the peace of God to quiet your heart. The Bible says, "Do not worry about anything." Worry, fear, anxiety are sin because they are lack of trust in the Lord. We all expereince these (worry, trust, fear) and when we do, need to confess them to the Lord and ask Him to help us. Pray this: "Lord, help my unbelief." Do not focus on your wife's words or actions. Do what is right in the sight of God regardless of how your wife responds. If you are praying, you can know that God is working in her life.

I know all of this is easy to say, harder to do. Believe me... I have been struggling greatly lately as things look very hopeless and impossible. But all I am saying is Biblical and it is in the Word. Stay in the Word.

I will keep praying.

Hi Steven,

It does sound like she's coming around a little.
Just becareful of the PPO. I'm not sure about the "dear sue" letter yet though, because your right, if she gets the slightest mad, she could use it against you.

She says she wants to get back together, but feels she needs more time to learn new job.
Maybe she feels the marriage stuff would distract her from learning the job. Right now
she has no children, except on weekends to attend to, so she feels less distracted learning
her job. Give it more time.

I don't think you have to worry about her reaction of trying to drop the PPO, just let
her know that you felt it was really unnecessary,
and that you would like to communicate with her
w/o that thing hanging over your heads. Why should she be upset, she has broken it also, and she is the one that started it.

She and the teens also need to work on their relationship. I have a blended family also, and
I understand how difficult it can be. My D, now 18 had the biggest problem w/ my H, she was on drugs at the time too, so that didn't help. She really didn't like any male w/ me. Just wanted me all to herself. She respects him and loves him now, and she's not on drugs. Hallelujah!! But from ages 13-17, we had difficult times. My son 13, gets along real well with H. And Babysheep, 1yr, well he loves us all. Sweet, sweet baby, that Babysheep is!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Ladysheep
rtegarding her saying she wanted to come back,, actually she never said she wanted to, she only asked questions about how we would/could do this. I don't know, but i think maybe i was being tested, to see where i was at. Her last words were, about her job. Staying there, and learning her new job.
I aksed her the other day if she still felt as if her job was nubber one. I really wasn't clear as to what i meant by that, i was reluctant to be open, and spell out about it being more important than her children,,, i asked her how does she find any quality time to spend with the children. She has to work 50 hours a week, and goes in on week-ends. My W has always been a snooze queen, she doesn't do mornings. Now that she lives with her mom, well now her mom i'm sure helps out. She runs a daycare there. My W has two other children from previous relationships,,

I emailed her, informing her i would not be here on Sunday when she returns our childrento go ahead and leave them here with my 14 daughter. She emailed back asking to let her know for sure what is going on, adding that she feels there should be an adult here when she brings children home. I'm trying to figure out whats the best way to handle this, either ignore her email, or to respond, saying that my daughter can handle it,, and i'd be back at the most two hours later. I really have no plans, i just want her to think so. Think that i'm moving on, with or w/o her.

Right now my W is upset with 14 year daughter for repeating what W;s other children had to say about W kissing her first sons dad. My W thinks my daughter lied, asking how and why could she do that to her. Then the other day, our 5 year old started telling her mommy why she was mad at her,for seeing her hug and kiss OP. 5 D also repeated what W's children said, so,,,W insisted that daughter(5) did not see any of this,,that the other two children were teasing 5 year old daughter. I don;'t know!!??

Anyhow, maybe the grass will be greener on the other side for her,,, maybe one day she can and or will find her *self* happiness.

With her new job, i do know she thinks her boss is gorgeous(sp)

Maybe i make things too easy for my wife to even want to come back,do you understand? I always give her the chipper side of me,, even when i realize things were starting to get heated up.I ALWAYS give her a wonderful greeting, adding how great she looks,,,

Often times i think my biggest problem is, i talk too much,,, and i definetly THINK to much!!!

I'am so glad to hear how great things have turned out for your daughter, and everyone else. Praise God!!
You see, i'm not one to throw in the towel on ANY of my family members. Basically my children, nor my wife.
I was in it for the long haul,,,,
Now, just like lovemyex says, stay in the word, and keep praying. I continue to fall out of the word, and still some times forget to keep praying.
ou know, i do want to divorce from my marriage,, the marriage it has been for maybe the last 1 1/2 years, and to marry again, with her, in a new way. Like it was in the beginning. Start over, only with her!!!
Apparently the choice has been made for me,,,,,anymore its just CRAZY!!! And i still don't comprehend this new game i now must play!!!

Have a wonderful day,,,