az, i thought about my post for quite awhile, and wanted to say, that the choice should be:

live by myself or get married again. . .

the money is a result of that decision, but in reality, that is not the decision. . . that is the result of the decision.

so focus on the reality of getting married or not, and then the money will straighten itself out later. . .

nah, i know you, you are not mercenary! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
wiftty

Allison,

I think you are such a sweetie for seeing the side of someone who says we are all a bunch of "money grubbing" I'll refrain from saying the rest since magnolia already edit that post, and those who also don't see the need to apologize themselves for their behavior. Which makes me realize that not everyone has learned yet that Mb is not just about coming here to lick your wounds, but is about learning to say sorry when you say something with disrespect and misjudge others so that you will learn to be a better husband/father/mother/wife/person in the future.


ANNA

<small>[ October 20, 2003, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</small>

Allison:

Hi. Personally I'd take door # 1. It sounds as though you still have some issues to work through with your BF. I mean, thats, ok. Sure he feels frustrated but I would simply say.."Look Honey, tell me why this bothers you and let see if we can agree on how to handle it".

I would not give up the money as it is a primary consideration for you and your future.And marrying BF right now seems like it is a little riskier than waiting a while. What if you marry BF and (God forbid) dies? Or leaves you?

Save as much as you can and in a few years as you and BF have determined what you want in the relationship and alimony is gone , then maybe it will make sense to get married. And, then the kids will be out of the house and that will eliminate any contentiousness with them.

If you have not already done so, tell your BF this in a very loving straightforward manner. Tell him it is in both of your best interests. He will see the logic.

And, if he doesn't like what you say, call me. (LOL)