HI All, Thank you again for your responses.

I truly know what you are talking about when you say the OW taking over your spot in the family.
I was a part of "the family" for 18 years. This IS THE WOMAN that my XH tore up our family for.
It's like a prize that he is taking home, a trophy I swear.
She is so accepted.
We are talking, in the 18 years that we were married, my X-MIL treated me like I was not a Christian, and that I know nothing about God.
We come from two different churches, but my faith is very strong and I believe I am a Christian.
This woman acts like my X has done nothing wrong. As if Adultery is not a sin.
This is his second affair during our marriage, and that is the two that I know of.

She wrote me a letter the week of Christmas telling me that he tried to please me, and failed.
When my H first moved out, and I was very much hoping he would come home, he went to his mothers 3 hours away, and she invited an old girlfriend to spend the night at her home, with my X there.
In this letter, she told me she did nothing wrong by inviting her there.
She also told me I have to forgive him, (which I admit, I'm struggling with) or I will lose my own soul.
And that unforgiveness causes cancer.
I have no idea how to handle someone that is so convinced that I am not a Christian.
I'm trying to respond to this letter that she has wrote me, but its very hard.
I know in my heart, I am a Christian, and trying to improve myself all the time.
She is treating me, as if I commited adultery.
I could have been a better wife I know. I can go over so much in my mind and see my mistakes.
I know a lot of my mistakes came from the fact that I married a womanizer, and I couldn't handle that.
I became a jealous person, because my XH loved women.
Anyway, I know what you mean about someone taking your spot so easily.
When it comes to our X's, there is NO loyalty on our X-families side. They are loyal to their own, and that is it!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and thank you again for you time.

K