</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Caitie hates me too because I will not bear a hoard of children....and be trapped.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Baba, putting personal differences aside... if you are sharing that children will "trap" you or that being a mother of children would be "imprisonment" (which I've read you say), then you might be offending some of the mothers reading that (like Caitie, I assume). Most mothers love their children dearly and so to hear someone say that a life of motherhood is like prison or it's entrapment... well, try to think of how that makes them feel.

I am not a mother although I hope to be someday. I love children and would be very happy and content to spend a life raising many of them. I believe that children are a blessing, not a curse. I greatly admire women who have raised children, esp. those who've chosen to raise many children. You, though, view them as a curse and hindrance... to you, that's how you feel they would be. You are obviously entitled to your opinion, but to someone who is a mother and loves her children, hearing that children are a curse or hindrance obviously won't go over very well.

So maybe that is why Caitie seeminly doens't "like" you (whether she does or doesn't I don't know).

Mothers have it tough anyways. Being a mother is probably the hardest job there is and it is one that is not glorified, not often appreciated, and mothers receive no pay and sometimes no credit. So some mothers might already be sensitive feeling as if they are devalued and their "job" as mother is seen by others as a pitiful and horrible thing. They spend 9 mos. carrying a baby, go through delivery, raise the child only to let them go. They nurture and care for and provide and give up sleep, money, many things. So to hear someone say that that is imprisonment or a curse or a horrible thing is like a slap in the face for them.

Hi Aeri

I've been a member for a while, and have also been lurking for a long while. You have my sympathy.

I take the following attitude:
1. If any respondent's post is so way off the mark as to be idiotic in nature, I simply ignore it, as if it was not posted at all.
2. If I read anything which offends me so much, that an honest reply from me would be extremely prejudicial, then I refrain.

I have read many posts over time, the content of which has begged a response from me, but a careful assessment of the actual member (not all are juniors) most times causes me to reconsider before casting "pearls before swine".
...let's see what the knee-jerk reaction to that phrase will be! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL!

I quite like your signature quote..
Pity it's already taken.. Damn!

Now let me go to EN and see just what all the damned fuss is all about...

muzohead

It’s much better here, especially once your separated and making a new life. On EN too many new people, too many in anguish and too many who believe marriage no matter what. Sorry. I was away for a few days. I’ll read the EN post.

Bizarre. It seems aeri all you need to do is post. I suggest we try this. Why don’t you post something that’s totally in alignment with Dr. Harley’s views and see what they say. I like to stir the pot; so I might post about snooping – something Dr. Harley endorses. But that would sully the experiment. Let’s make it either about POJA or the 15 hours a week. Or better yet, whether sex counts as recreational companionship. That should get lots of readership. Harley says it does. And if you talk during it, you can meet the need for conversation too. He He He.

BTW: welcome to the Divorced/Divorcing Board.

Hmm...Greengables, I LIKE YOUR STYLE!

I *am* going to post something very neutral, very Harley-esque and see what happens.....Mind you, I'm not mocking the principles--I'm just curious to see how people react....

I'm beginning to think it just *MIGHT* be my signature line that irks people...

Aeri and GG you two are just plain naughty!! heehe

I am gonna watch for the "offending" thread.

(for those that have defected from the EN board and are reading this... you can't PROVE I said it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .....and SHAME on you for defecting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !!! LOL)

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

DZZZ

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LoveMyEx:
<strong> <snip>
I really don't think it's good to be a "regular" of the board.. that means that you invest ALOT of time here and there are soooooo many other good things you can do with your time that would be more beneficial (in my opinion).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, we have our own little wanna be gang over there .</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's why Aeri, and others, see it as "cliquish." Well, that, and the fact that you want the "newbies" to leave. Unless a "newbie" has violated the TOS, they have every right to be here as you or any of the "regulars" do... even if you find them to be rude or they ruffle your feathers. I personally hope more "newbies" join because I think it would help keep it from being "cliquish" and dominated by any one or more people.

And Aeri, that's something to keep in mind. There is no place in life where you can avoid rudeness or maybe people who offend or cause you discomfort.
<snip></strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LMX you give me a giggle! I can't believe that of all the people who commented - you can take something *I* say totally OUT OF CONTEXT and quote it - and then make something out of it other than what it was!!!

I've seen some posts where you actually give half decent advice. Would you mind telling me what I ever did to you that was so terrible?

I don't like the way you attack people - then call THEM rude. And I've mentioned it a time or two, even. It seems you like direct remarks, you certainly don't buffer yours in curtesy or charm. So, what is the difference? Just because it is YOU? Sorry, you can't have it both ways.

Jan

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I really don't think it's good to be a "regular" of the board.. that means that you invest ALOT of time here and there are soooooo many other good things you can do with your time that would be more beneficial (in my opinion). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LMX--I have to disagree....

Some people are 'regulars' but they don't spend every waking moment at MB. I'm one of those people---I feel like a regular and sometimes I post a lot, but most of the time I miss whole weeks of stuff that goes on (and it's always the good stuff, DRAT!)

As much as the responses bothered me yesterday, I don't think it's right to say that someone SHOULD spend their time somewhere else. Let's face it--the EN board is therapy for some people---an escape from life. We all have to understand that everyone brings their own little unique perspective to the board, no matter how offensive that perspective may be to the others....

As far as the newbies go--I didn't say I wanted them to leave! I'm a Libertarian--I believe anyone who wants to be there, can be. I was annoyed that I was being attacked for asking a legitimate question...BESIDES--we were ALL newbies once! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't like the way you attack people - then call THEM rude.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't "attack" and then call "rude." I either call them rude and then "attack" or I simply "attack." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (I'm kidding Jan). But in all seriousness, confronting a person's rudeness is not the same as "attacking."

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And I've mentioned it a time or two, even.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I know you have. You began a few threads directed to me. And as you know, I did not reply-- for reasons I don't need to explain or I already did explain long ago.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So, what is the difference? Just because it is YOU? Sorry, you can't have it both ways.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know what you are referring to that I am supposedly wanting "both ways."

I'm sorry, but I don't view my time at the MB board as an effort to win some sort of popularity contest and all I can think is that somehow you think I am wanting your approval or respect. I'm really not sure to be honest.

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 12:14 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Aeri, you said, "I have to disagree." Something you are completely entitled to do. Which is why I shared that it's my opinion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I often include that ("in my opinion") in many of my posts to others, realizing that others have different opinions.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as the newbies go--I didn't say I wanted them to leave!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When I said, "you want the newbies to leave," I was actually talking to SJ in reply to her post. I guess my wording was not clear.

Ladies, to be honest, I don't have much time to invest in this conversation. I wish you well and hope that you will all have many wonderful future board discussions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Aeri, you’ve got to do it. You’ve got to post something very mild on the EN board and see what happens. And Diamonzzz, I know we’re being naughty, but that’s the best part of being here, divorcing, rather than on EN still in “therapy” or trying to save something that can’t be saved. We have the energy to be naughty!

And Aeri, I so know what you mean about being gone a week or even just a weekend and missing all the fun. Did I get to see the photos of MarriedGirl that got everyone going? No. Did I get to join in the fun when Quipper posted something totally inappropriate? No. And then, all the “best” threads are closed or removed.