I wish you had the money for a lawyer. I know you want this to be nicey nice. But going after alimony doesn’t seem nice to me. The world has changed since the days of my mother, and unless there’s a lot of money at stake, alimony just isn’t, well fair.

After all, women are equal to men. We can now work at decent paying jobs without sleeping with our boss. We have credit; we can own homes and stock and do as we see fit. And yet, so many jump at the opportunity to take their pound of flesh from their soon-to-be-ex.

Official end of rant.

I would suggest during mediation that I believe alimony on top of child support would be too burdensome. Period. Based on your pay, the expenses of the area, etc, you’ll be paying for 4 children. That’s a lot. And remind her that the divorce is her choice.

When you get into negotiation, offer to help out in other ways… Like taking the kids as much as possible, having your family help out while she’s at school.

Do make sure you stick up for yourself during mediation. Mediation would be impossible for me and B. because B’s definition of negotiation is he gets his own way. Anything less is me being unwilling to negotiate. And I’m a wimp.

Also, make sure to bring up certain topics during mediation. Life insurance with the children as beneficiaries is one you may either want to bring up or not. Maybe get it written in that she must insure her life.

Moving is an issue especially if your area is expensive. You don’t want her picking up and moving the children to where you can’t visit all the time. Schooling. If the home-schooled child needs to be home schooled or a special school make sure the expectations are spelled out. If religious education is an issue, address that.

Extra activities like music lessons, etc. seem to present an ongoing problem. You may want to think about those as well.

Enough of my advice. How are you doing today?

And if we do an MB night in Philly will you come?

Green Gables

I agree that it's not right for her to ask for money from me to support her. She had the chance for my full support and gave that up.

I'm OK today. Still find myself coming up with reasons to call her but fight it off.

Philly is a couple hours for me, but I would consider it.