Thanks for the straightforward boundary talk. It sounds so simple when you hear someone else say it. I have no intentions of getting involved with this guy. I would go back and live with my husband first if I wanted to enable.....Pray for me on Sunday mornings cause I have done nothing to encourage this. I am just friendly. I am an usher at church and a lot of people come up to me and chit chat before entering the sanctuary. He talks to me before church and he always searches me out after and then, cause he doesn't drive, he needs a ride home. I need to be direct but kind. He has done nothing to me to warrant disrespect or rudeness. I am not even rude to my WS....

I saw WS today and had some business to take care of. I was set back a little with the fact that he can't give me money right now to start the divorce preceedings. I guess I will just have him sign the papers and I will start the proceedings myself. Money is a little tight for me right now. Also, I am not in a hurry but I am also don't see any reason to stay married. When moving forward, things do look a little blurry. When progressing, a lot of feelings begin to stir up. It is much easier to just keep things as they are but I know that is not what I want.

I am having the wonderful experience of being a part of a new guinea pig family. My pet gp had 3 babies and they are so cute. Their new little lives are something I really needed to see and be a part of. What a gift from God.....new life. I think guinea pigs are the best pets and I am enjoying this so much.

TW

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tossedwave:
<strong> Thanks for the straightforward boundary talk. It sounds so simple when you hear someone else say it. I have no intentions of getting involved with this guy. I would go back and live with my husband first if I wanted to enable.....Pray for me on Sunday mornings cause I have done nothing to encourage this. I am just friendly. I am an usher at church and a lot of people come up to me and chit chat before entering the sanctuary. He talks to me before church and he always searches me out after and then, cause he doesn't drive, he needs a ride home. I need to be direct but kind. He has done nothing to me to warrant disrespect or rudeness. I am not even rude to my WS....

I saw WS today and had some business to take care of. I was set back a little with the fact that he can't give me money right now to start the divorce preceedings. I guess I will just have him sign the papers and I will start the proceedings myself. Money is a little tight for me right now. Also, I am not in a hurry but I am also don't see any reason to stay married. When moving forward, things do look a little blurry. When progressing, a lot of feelings begin to stir up. It is much easier to just keep things as they are but I know that is not what I want.

I am having the wonderful experience of being a part of a new guinea pig family. My pet gp had 3 babies and they are so cute. Their new little lives are something I really needed to see and be a part of. What a gift from God.....new life. I think guinea pigs are the best pets and I am enjoying this so much.

TW </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tossed Wave...something tells me you need this -->

((((((TW)))))) <-- A HUG just for YOU!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

High Flight

Thanks, HighFlight, hugs are ALWAYS needed. How are things with you?

Do you feel you have made a few steps forward with your recent divorce? is XW still reaching out to you regularly?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tossedwave:
<strong> Thanks, HighFlight, hugs are ALWAYS needed. How are things with you?

Do you feel you have made a few steps forward with your recent divorce? is XW still reaching out to you regularly? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks TW. I'm making some progress. XW has left me alone for a brief period, then when a crisis hit her family & she got sick, she started calling me every day again during the past week. Actually she was averaging about 2x per day. Short calls of less than 5 minutes. Not much to them. Just checking in and venting about her family issues. Then as she got sick, she started telling me about her illness, etc.

I actually felt badly enough for her to volunteer to come over and cut her lawn for her at her new house. I fully expected her to say "THANKS! Go for it!!" But to my surprise, she immediately said, "no thanks, I really wouldn't feel comfortable having you over here to do that. It just wouldn't feel right."

She then picked up some hot cereal at a grocery store cause she knew I like it alot and haven't been able to find any for months. So when she saw it she bought it. Then invited me over to get it right away. I sat in her living room and we talked for maybe 15 minutes. Just chit chat. Nothing of substance. Very cordial. Then I excused myself.

She didn't offer any hugs or anything else, but she was soft spoken and nice to me. We laughed about "our" cats antics. She dumped 3 cats on me when she moved out. She's the big cat lover, but she didn't want them even though they're really great animals. Very easy to keep.

So that's the update. What do you make of it all? I need a females's perspective.

Personally, I'm feeling stronger. I don't think of her as often. I'm not crying every day like I used to. I'm actually enjoying not having any conflict here in my home. I love my home & pool & all the decor, etc. It feels REALLY good to come home & just have peace.

God is good! He has a plan!! I will end up better some how.
High Flight

Never heard any responses back on this for some of the rest of your ideas???? I'm curious what your opinion is.

Thanks!
High Flight (In Philladelphia today)

Hi HighFlight,

You are our rock of refuge (in a sense)... the wise one.

But, in general terms, when people have been hurt... they kneejerk and say, "I wouldn't be comfortable with that"...

Like, Ouch!, that's an open wound... please don't touch it!... Don't come toooooo close to me right now.

Doesn't mean they don't love you.

I've said it to the one I love.

Didn't love him less, really, just had an open wound.

But sounds like you had a nice, short, brief, positive interaction after that.

That helps a lot to close wounds and restore confidence in the two of you having the ability to interact without the interaction resulting in overwhelming pain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It's good you're not thinking of her so much. Good that things are quietting down.

But crying is an honest thing, too.

If the one I loved admitted that he cried... instead of stuffing his feelings... we could have worked things out. (He did cry. He just wouldn't admit it. Saw him eyes all red, hair uncombed, all out of it in public as the result of me.)

It's good you're not hardening your heart, stuffing your feelings... you're truly feeling better.

That's awesome!

I had just posted "When do you know the D is right?" when I read this thread. I can't tell you how much you guys made me feel better. Suddenly I saw so many of my feelings as normal. I would love to join your club, although I afraid I will take more than I give. I don't have any answers to anything.

HighFlight - You sharing your emotions over still struggling with loving your XW has helped me so much. I always felt I couldn't file for a D if I still loved my WH. I do love him, but lately I'm not seeing the full man that I fell in love with. I too still have the hope that maybe things could work. WH can show such love (guess that's how I got pregnant)and then dismiss me like I am a nothing. Thank you for sharing your story, because the response you have received have helped me too.

I have also appreciated the sharing of God's word and thoughts. It was nice to be reminded that God is beside me through all of this.
God Bless all of you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by coolduck:
<strong> I had just posted "When do you know the D is right?" when I read this thread. I can't tell you how much you guys made me feel better. Suddenly I saw so many of my feelings as normal. I would love to join your club, although I afraid I will take more than I give. I don't have any answers to anything.

HighFlight - You sharing your emotions over still struggling with loving your XW has helped me so much. I always felt I couldn't file for a D if I still loved my WH. I do love him, but lately I'm not seeing the full man that I fell in love with. I too still have the hope that maybe things could work. WH can show such love (guess that's how I got pregnant)and then dismiss me like I am a nothing. Thank you for sharing your story, because the response you have received have helped me too.

I have also appreciated the sharing of God's word and thoughts. It was nice to be reminded that God is beside me through all of this.
God Bless all of you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Welcome Coolduck! This really is EVERYONE'S "Club". That's a pretty nice word for it I should think. I've been calling it a support group, you're calling it a CLUB!!! Wow!!! Let's go with the club concept, sounds so much more attractive... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Now to more seriousness, you take all the help you need to here OK? We're all in this for each other. As our lives ebb & flow along we find ourselves alternatively in high spots and low spots. But the really good news is that you're surrounded by friends here that KNOW THE PAIN FIRST HAND! And moreover, we're all rowing alongside each other just trying to make it one and all back to shore.

I kind of like the marines concept -- leave no one behind! So come on along, tell us how we can help you. Then you help us too as you can. See in giving, we receive! In sharing help, we all are ourselves further healed!!

God has ordained it to be this way. Giving is the currency, the very economy of Heaven!!! We're all so used to just taking and being taken here on sinfilled, fallen Earth. Not so in God's plan. It's all about giving, and giving and giving!!!

"For God so loved the world that He GAVE His only Son...." (Jn 3:16)

****************

Now to this evening. I get in from a very long trip to Chicago today. Got up at 3:45 AM. Now it's 12:39 AM the next day. Anyway, my exwife called just as I was sitting down to eat some fruit and go to bed. Her father was in the ambulance with a heart attack, would I please begin to pray for him?

I immediately put clothes back on, called my parents in Florida & asked them to begin praying. Then I hightailed it to the ER. There I walked in to the typical chaos of a trauma center.

A nurse pointed me back to the place they were. As I came up the family was stunned to see me. You see, my exwife had asked me not to see any of them or say goodby to them during the divorce. I honored her wishes. I hadn't seen any of them since last Christmas 2003. Both of her parents immediately began to cry and her mother hugged onto me. My exwife also fought tears.

Long story short, I spent 2.5 hrs there with them. Said a prayer. Rubbed my exMIL's back to calm her down. Spoke to each family member personally. Then my exwife escorted me to my car and said "thankyou for coming". I prayed with her & she teared up. Then I calmly left.

It was the best I could do. I want them to see Jesus in my life. I want them to sense what forgiveness and God are all about. I pray that her father will recover according to God's will. He's got lots of health problems after 50 yrs of smoking and really bad lifestyle choices.

And, in all of this, God is healing me too. I came home glad to be here, thankful that God has been sustaining me through it all. If she never comes back, I'm gonna make it!!! My life WILL be better than ever, some day.

I'm going to bed folks! I value you each one. Thanks for the great help you are to me too.

We're going to have a GRAND MB REUNION UP IN HEAVEN ONE DAY SOON FOLKS!!! DON'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD, OK????

High Flight

Ahhhhh------Hi and help everyone!

I have missed everyone terribly and my life has been a extreme series of unrelenting whirlwinds of challenges,obstactles and distress.

I have gone from storm, too storm and am simply overshadowed, overwhelmed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

My situation is moving at such alarming high accelerated speed that everything seems to be spinning out of orbit.

I simply feel very inadequate as my family members and the demands that are placed upon me are burdens that I feel I am not equiped to handle properly in the spirit.

I am grieved that my daughter, son and my mother are the sad casulaties and are so severly emotinally injured, dysfunctional and stubborningly impossible to reason with.

Unfortunately, I haven't had oppournity to have access to my computer and have been extremely ill, but am pushing my self very hard and dilgently working to recover and get well.

I pray, breathe, and attempt too regain the steering wheel of my mind. I seem to put out one fire and lo and behold another sets in.

I am not in my home just yet and still staying at my mother's place. Arrived last night and will be back tomorrow and will have the entire weekend to disentangle. To have my own home back for myself. I will be officially moving back home soon.

The month of August was absoultely outrageous with xh antics. Where do I begin? The battles simply rages on fiercely in my face and am keeping my kool, whits about me and trying to remain in a low first gear of emotion and not get into reactive modes. I feel so deeply oppressed.

Last week my 21 year old daughter has announced she is getting married in three weeks. Eloping with her boyfriend, she has been seeing for the past seven months.

They are both so sweet, and deeply in love. My life course has shifted into a whole tail spin.

Alright crew, my friends, sisters and brothers in Christ. I am so freshly wounded and yet life demands that I heal immediately, regain and retrieve an iron will, nerves of steel, to move on, and stand firm.

Prayers at this moment and time are so needed. Especially for my daughter and her new fiance. I am praying that I will not be reactive but simply proactive, silent with measured words of wisdom, guidance and strength.

Doing life without everyone here on MB leaves such a void. My heart rests calmly and safely here. I feel a measure of peace.

Oh must go-----

SOS

Hugs needed too,

Skydiver ~ Just have a quick moment, but here's a true HUG ((((((SKYDIVER))))))

And as I was reading your post & feeling your pain I was already praying for you my dear friend.

High Flight

HighFlight----sorry I never seemed to respond to your last post but I wrote a ton of stuff and then my computer signer-off. All was lost. UGH

I only remember 2 things I said: Your wife's reaction to your offer of help: She must have some sense of decency if she doesn't feel right about using you. My STBX is doing the same thing. He won't depend on me and I think that is healthy. Remember our R was a parent/child and rescuer/irresponsible dynamic.

My STBX and I are having the same interaction. Lighthearted and surface, not really showing any need for each other. It is a good place to be. It keeps me from making stupid choices or longing for something I cannot have.

Your visiting your former FIL was a real sacrifice for you. Why did you go see him? to show concern or to get in good with XW? If you did it to show concern, you are growing healthier.

Readinga book called Safe People by Townsend and Cloud. It is a must read for us who need to learn from past relationship mistakes.

(((SkyDiver))))---Sorry you are struggling so. What is wrong with your health? Are you getting good, sound medical attention? Is there anything you can let go of? Remember what Jesus said "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest....."Matt 11:28
That is in the Bible for a reason. We seem to lay so much on ourselves to perform and jump through hoops. We also resist the help of others cause we always want to be the helper. I will pray for you.....there is a time for everything..
a time to work and a time to rest.

Coolduck---welcome. I am so glad that your feelings have veen validated. You are normal but in a lot of pain. Keep "taking"---you will be able to "give" some day.

TW

High Flight,
You have to be the most amazing person. First thank you for the beautiful response to my thread. Your prayer made me cry. It was so nice to know that I was being prayed for. You had such a way of asking God for all the things I truely need, especially wisdom on what to do.
It was a wonderful thing to go visit your FIL and be there for you XW's family.
God Bless
CD

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by coolduck:
<strong> High Flight,
You have to be the most amazing person. First thank you for the beautiful response to my thread. Your prayer made me cry. It was so nice to know that I was being prayed for. You had such a way of asking God for all the things I truely need, especially wisdom on what to do.
It was a wonderful thing to go visit your FIL and be there for you XW's family.
God Bless
CD </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">CD ~ Oh thank you!! I was just letting God use me that's all. It's from Him my dear sister. God ADORES you! His love for you is More than any other being in the entire Universe could ever love you. He created YOU!

TW ~ I love your wise words. Excellent question. I paused & thought. I really did it for my former FIL/MIL. I actually was afraid my exWife would be furious at me for coming even though she called me. She'd forbade me to have any contact with them - said she needed her own support group that I didn't interact with. So I hadn't seen them for 9 months+.

Thanks also for the book recommend! I will get it & read it.

HF---congratulations. You helped out for the right reasons. You are growing and what progress you have made. I know---cause I have been making some of the same progress.

STBX just had surgery and he is hurtin'....I offered help and will probably see him today or tomorrow. I realized that I am helping him for 2 reasons: 1) he would do the same for me and
2) that I am concerned and care about his well-being. In the past, my helping would come from the motive of getting him to love me or want me or to change him. I feel such victory. BUT I just hate the fact that my son has so much more responsibility in helping his dad. He was with him all day yesterday and stayed with him at his house last night. STBX needs help getting around cause he is a paraplegic and does everything with his arms so my son has his hands full for awhile. That doesn't seem fair to my son to have all this extra burden but praying they will both be better for this experience of giving and taking together.

TW

Blessings, blessing, blessing and thankyou High flight and TW for intercepting my post, opening your hearts, and offering PRAYERS on our behalf!

Your so right TW, for tuning into me. I am cluching on to fear and anxiety. Yes, I have collected and holding on to far too much baggage.

As for what's wrong with me, my entire endrocine system has been practically, knocked out.

My thryoid is severly low and malfunctioning,creating havoc elsewhere. I have been diagnosed with diabetes 11,have adrenal exhaustion, heart function is slow and low, etc. Due to prolonged negative severe stress.

Adverse consequences for remaining in a bad relationship for so long. Comes with living with such a hostile, aggressive oppressive dreadful person as my xh and climate he created.

The blessing here in the midst. I have found indeed a wonderful compentant doctor that practices ortheomolecular holistic medicine.He has been quite effective in getting down to core of my situation and rebuilding my system over the past month. He's awesome.

So am finally under a good doctor's care. I am gifted and blessed to be under his care. My previous physicians sadly were very nice and charming persons but uneffective. Plainly spoken in milder terms deadlosses. Compounding the situation.

I am challenged by these body burdens but am rapidly getting better-have enough strength again to do mega power walking, swimming, and am almost back to my old self again.

I have been so terribly weak, and frail. I am having very firm talks myself and have enforced a policy within myself that mind over matter must take precedance.

Divorce stress and broken heart can really play havoc with the mind, body and soul. Divorce definately is an unpleasantly messy apart of life, and life must go and so must we.

My family needs me, and they are much too, weak and wounded. I must detach, decrease and ditch my baggage of saddness, sorrow, pain, aloneness. The emotional weight and gravity of these particular emotions alone of themselves are alarming much to toxic, heavy and burdensome.

High Flight-I have been reading up on catching up on your posts. Wow, brother you have been really growing in the spirit and come along way in such a short time from the valley of sorrow.

I have prayed for your xw heart to soften. It is so clear by your posts that God has done a mighty and powerful work, and opened your heart. Your really shining now.

I can feel the weight, goodness, compassion riping on the vine of your heart quite nicely.

I was saddened to hear about your xfil heart attack and trauma. Delighted that you were able to be tranformed and courageous enough to walk into the lion's den.

A very bold move, to reach out, in love and empowered strength. Outstanding and I applaude your efforts in allowing our Saviour to touch your heart, and soul. Wow...I'm awestruck!

Especially, delighted and thrilled to learn that your xw actually went out and thoughtfully bought your favorite cereal. Most intriguing?

I interpet that sublte, careful, move on her part as a deposit of many love units in your account. I seem to detect the bank accounts on both sides are being slowly, discretely re-filled, one unit at a time or rather one spoonful at time.

On some levels it would appear that the two of you are not finished quite yet. It appears, God is doing a real work on her heart and breaking the barriers of pride.

I presume much guilt, shame, dark soul stains on her heart, would create tremendous sense of natural awkardness and barriers.

I should think once one has gone off their rails. Regaining any kind of foothold would be difficult.

I shall continue to keep you both in my prayers. Keep walking in the spirit, your doing awesome. Power up and power on. The mystery of marriage, and love is truly beyond logic and human comprehension.

Live, love and learn? What are the deep lessons here to be learned from these experinces???

Bravo!

I haven't been on the board... much. I have decided to come out of emotional withdrawal and LIVE again.

There are 2 men interested in me right now. I am exploring being willing to have a relationship. We haven't had enough time for me to feel like I need to feel like one is a "boyfriend". Neither is. We're just exploring friendship. I said I'd start as friends - so I feel it's okay to talk to both right now. If I begin to have stronger feelings - I told each we'd have to discuss becoming "exclusive"... if the relationship developed into more than initial attraction.

I do want a boyfriend by Christmas. That's one of my goals.


skydiver,

I'm so sorry to hear about your health.

"I would that you would prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers."

We need "prosperous" souls to have prosperous health. I think you are right that it is stress attacking your body.

Skydiver, what state are you in? I am in Michigan. I would love to come to see you to help strengthen your soul with my friendship if that would be possible. You are special to me.

Please let me know what I can do to help.

HighFlight,


I am sorry to hear about your FIL. I am glad, however, you had that opportunity to show your love to the family and to be, to them, the rock that you are to us.

No matter what happens between you and the XW - it is so good to take positive action to bring relationships back to a positive mode of expression.

That frees us.

I read very little - quickly - and I want to say "hi" to TW and the newer people here as well!

May God bless you all,

Laura

Hi Sister,

There you are! I was just about to send a post to TW and next post to you...

I have missed you sooo much! Wanted you let you know one- I haven't fallen off the planet, and in response to your previous post- Moi advocating spinsterhood? You must be joking?

Darhling, just remember divine romance, innocence, and the passion betrayal tradegy all orginated in the garden,the perfect paradisce of love, before the rise and fall of humanity.

From my paradigm, it makes logical sense to have our precious Savior heal our spirits, call it a spiritual detoxification, re-purification& recalibration process, before He set us out again, what ever course he sets us on.

I believe absolute celibacy is also a divine gift and path. Since our hearts are much like mini gardens, our precious Holy Spirit enjoys re-landscaping us too.

Would you agree, that the torrent of divorce rips apart flowers and fruit of our souls. Divine prunning is another matter, and weeding is a definate absolute. Having a heavy duty lawnmover run over our hearts just hurts. Ouch.

Every, precious garden has a wall, boundry set in place-- just can't let any anyone come in and mess up the joint.

The well springs of our hearts flow from there in. Nor are we to mess around in others garden carelessly and recklessly.


Good,and healthy place to pour out passion energies appreciated, and the love returned in bounty of 100 fold. Gardening babe, is serious fun business of getting right down to the nitty, gritty.

True love united produces an awesome fragrance like no other. Everything in it's season. Seems its my season is to repair itself.

Sooo, while you have been away, you have two men touring your garden. Whoah, you have been busy. I see your hearts garden is in fine shape.

Boy, you and my daughter sure have been busy while I was away. She is getting married in three weeks, after dating a very nice young man for the past seven months. They announced their enagement over a week ago. My, my You girls sure work fast. I just knew I shouldn't have left you girls so soon.

I will pray that one of these gentlemen will have a gentle gardener heart and be most kind, capable of nurturing you.

I would be most sad and broken hearted if you were not loved, and cherished as you should be. And meet the same standard of care and love as we your family here at MB love you so! We won't let you go so easily just to any body...

So do share their profiles, what are they like? It's inventory time sweety.

Well, how much negative baggage and issues do they have? What are each of their positive points? Characters? What do you particularily like about each of them.

You can't hide out on us for to long? So spill the beans as I am delighted and thrilled for you?

Thankyou for your very kind concern and care. I would be absolutely thrilled, honored and would love for you to come visit. You are most welcome to stay with me.

I didn't realise you were from Michigan? Very Kool.

One of my dear former colleagues from my student exchange programs lives in Grand Rapids. Do you live close to GP???

I on the otherhand, am your good neighbor way up north. I live in Alberta, Canada. Check that location on the map just 1 1/2 hrs from our fabulous Rocky mountains-- famous Banff and Lake Louise. Just your FYI, I do not live in a tent or igloo. Us Canadians are quite civilized you know.

You would love it up here. So much too do. We would have an absolutely wonderful time. Currency wise you would have a shopping heyday.

I am quite sincere in my open invitation as I have coordinated non profit high school international student exchanges for quite a few years.

It' all about people opening their homes and hearts developing life long friendships and connections. Hands and hearts across the seas, and borders.

Actually, if your not to familiar with student exchanges. My former organization and myself were featured in one of our national airline magazines.

Can check out the website: www.intocanada. org under menu articles.

We would have such a wonderful time and any else needing a good adventure, break. Maybe TW would like to come too. Globe trotting is the perfect rememdy when life becomes complicated.

I have missed quite a few of your threads. Have you published your book yet? What's all else happening in your world?

I would just love to put on a wonderful dinner party for us all, we would have such a blast. We are so tightly connected.

Life goes on and so must we! I just need time to get better...

Balloons of hugs,

Welcome coolduck!

I haven't been on the board for awhile. I am soo very soory for your all the hurt you feel.

I am pleased you have found our little TLC hospital, and know it's perfectly normal to feel empty when so much has been drained from you.

That's par for the course when one is dealing with abnormalities. Betrayal, simply shatters the spirit. We leak with pain, suffering, saddness, sorrow. You will get better here, and stronger.

So important right now all that's important is you absorb all the sonshine of goodness here and put enegeries into your healing. You have been dealt a swift, severe blow.

Sad, truth is in our society and in many church communities adultery, and the dissoultion of a marriage, family isn't taken too seriously.

We here so understand the pain, hurt, agony, dissppointment and the devastation.

Please know that you are contributing greatly just by being here, being you and sharing.

We are all linked in this together and we will all emerge stronger, better than ever before. Miracles happen here all the time.

I understand what it is to feel empty, numb and in a state of confusion. We have a great days, so so days, down in the valleys days, high in peaks days, confused days, marvelous days, blues days, etc. At the time, and moment life doesn't seem to make sense.

Combined all these days add up to months of healing and wellness. So jump right in and I am sure you have so much to offer in the ways of wisdom, advice.

I don't think any of us here were prepared to be blindsided by adultery, and or divorce.

We will come out stronger, wiser, kinder, and decent!

I am praying for you and your situation.

Balloons of hugs!

Big hugs TW,

My you have been through a lot. You have been so much in my heart and I have been praying for you.

I have thought about you almost everyday. I wish I could wisk you away here. You would just feel so comfortable in my mom's community. No one is ever alone. There is loniness in a crowd, selective solituide and plain aloneness.

My mother friend has been my biggest source of inspiration. She has been married twice and both husbands passed away and on her own for 20 yrs. She's the most sweetest, strongest and vibrant Christian- 82 year old person I have ever met.

I have been so touched by her journey, and her testimony of sadness, lonliness, periods of despair.

Her organic gardening, meal preparations and homemade bread have blessed so many people.

It took her while to walk through the valley of dispair. So that was comforting to know that our Lord restored her hope. I bet you have such wonderful caregiving gifts to share, yet that went sadly unappreciated and were taken for granted.

I bet there are people in your neighborhood that would greatly appreciate your cooking and talents.

Kool thing about my mother's friend, is she never cooks for one or wastes food.

She is such a blessing and blesses so many hurting people.

Sweet thing is all of sudden the door bell will ring and we are blessed some delicous dish that she has prepared for us to taste. Be it a few German potatoe pancakes, wonderful organic stirfry, or baking.

And on her down days she permits us to bring her stuff and comfort her with a visit. Another christian couple up the street host games night at their home once a week, and some of the other christian widows pop in for fellowship, and fun.

I have been so blessed to be amongst such fine caring souls.

I really must advocate growing a garden next spring. The vegetables or flowers are sure way to share of Savior love, concern. I have wanted to plant a garden for years but had such opposition from my xh. Now the coast is clear and God can have his way.

We have been so bruised, rejected by those we love.

Good news there are plenty of other people who would appreciate a bag of lettuce, or pot of homemade soup and ten minute conversation.

I know you are a strong woman of faith and possess a great capacity to love.

It's hard to rebound when we have suffered such blows. I doubt many woman who have had to care for sick and incapcitated man for the duration as you have, and to be insulted, degraded such as you have takes amazing amount of love, courage, strength and incredible amounts of stamina.

We are to follow a more nobler higher path. I thankyou for blessing me as you do here as many of the women in mom's community truly do not understand the trials, slings arrows of adultery, betrayal.

Though their mates passed on because of illness, death and know exactly where they are at all times. The blows are not the same.

I doubt really if one has never walked this road or experinced it would they every understand.

I am very sorry that your son is shouldering such a tremendous burden. He has obviously your strength, courage, love and kind heart.

TW-you are such a sweet dear- I think of all your patience to go without real tenderness, comfort. Living with an alcholic cheats one of love.

They are simply morally entangled in their addictions and I belive our existance with these men was true loniness in the relationship to begin with. How does one have any type of quality relationship when they are not in their right mind.

I would hope you would share your gifts and talents with us. As so many people in your area would be blessed with your love, gifts and mature faith.

Let's do some creative brain storming.

If you lived closer to me I would definately have over for dinner, and would bring you flowers to cheer up your soul.

If ever you need a good holiday please come and visit me up here in Canada.

Thankyou, for your prayers, kind blessings. I am feeling stronger every moment.

I wonder if the loniness,saddness we feel is that lack of real Christian fellowship, and greater family extended network.

Balloons of hugs....