Just checking in......
It's funny my ex who wants nothing to do with me had my oldest daughter call me, my ex then asked if she could talk about something other than the kids. Of course I said yes.
She was wanting to know how to fix the pump in the waterfall at our....or her house.
So I used this opportunity (even though just over the phone) to be as polite and kind as I could be.
I also did a silly thing this weekend......
I living by myself already have one very big dog,
I had been looking to get my kids a puppy lab, I ended up with two puppies.
So this weekend without the kids has been very busy trying to keep up with 2 little puppies and manuver them around the big one, (she is a bit rought with them now).
I think I bit off more than I could chew. Me that is not the dogs.
Maybe subconsiously I got the puppies so my kids
will want to come over more, not that they don't want to come over anyway.

....continuing....
If your familiar with my story.......the shuffling of the kids back and forth with no
parental contact between me and my ex-wife....
It was the sort of the same situation when my
kids took their pups to their soccer game....
I came in with the puppies, the kids would then shuffle off to their mommy and boyfriend so they could see them, then they would bring them back to me....she definetly has a .... safety zone.... set up around her .... maybe not a safety zone, maybe more like a guilt-free zone.

Rufustfirefly, you are scaring the crap out of me. Our stories are so similar, I am headed down the same path you have traveled. Our 17th anniversary is in July, about 2 days before my WW and OM are going on a cruise and about 2 weeks before DV-Day. I had no clue we had a problem til she had already moved out. She has been extremely hateful since. I have panic attacks, especially at night, thinking of them together. Exposing her A was supposed to help bring about its death but it dosen't seem to have slowed down at all. OM is 11 years older than WW and has been divorced twice. WW wife says she has no interest in trying to work things out, she just wants the DV. The big difference in our situations is WW wants us to have lots of friendly contact in front of the children. I want to go to Plan B. I feel no contact between WW and myself would make things easier on me.

You can only take responsibility for the mistakes you made in your marriage, like failing to meet her ENs. She gets responsibilty for not letting you know her ENs are not being met. Her A is all on her. If you are willing to get back together and try again and she won't the DV is all hers too. Perhaps the best thing you can do is move on and be happy. When your WW realizes her mistakes, it could be too late.